Summary: R-Evolve: The ultimate defence is to pretend. They've decided to take the war into their own hands and to do so they've created a secret set of plans. In the end, can they pull off the perfect deception? Please R&R. Dark!Harry and some dark themes.

Disclaimer: The Potterverse is not mine and never will be. R-Evolve is the name of a song and I don't own that either. Get it? Got it? Good. I'm not gonna say it again.

A/N: A prologue done entirely in dialogue... I never thought I'd do it, but here it is! The next/first chapter will be normal and will reveal more about the plot. And the title is supposed to be "R-Evolve", not "REvolve", but apparently I can't put a hyphen in a title or summary. Oh well.

R-Evolve: Exordium

"This is your brilliant plan?"

"Yeah, it's finally done. The planning part, I mean. Now we just have to put everything in motion. That is, if you agree with it, of course. And then there are certain... details... we would have to work out."

"Details? All I see is a random and incoherent collection of doodles and scribbles. In fact, I fail to see how you even manage to call this a plan to begin with. From what I can actually decipher from this, which is close to nothing, I fail to see how it makes any sense. This is... this is..."

"Ingenious? Amazingly brilliant? Foolproof? Did I mention brill-"

"Those aren't quite the adjectives I was looking for. I was thinking more along the lines of foolish, incoherent, and a complete waste of time."

"Oh... wait, that's because-"

"I don't want to hear your pathetic excuses. You have spent the last few months plotting, scheming, and obsessing over some obscure bit of parchment. You have been secretive and have been exhibiting extremely odd behavior. Every time I asked what was going on, you merely shrugged it off and told me that it was all part of some insanely brilliant plan you were formulating in that demented head of yours. You acted as if it was so important that it would change the wizarding world as we know it. This is a load of bollocks. You're supposed to be concentrating on the war, not making rudimentary doodles."

"It will! We're going to fight this war on our terms now, and this set of plans is the solution to accomplishing our ultimate goals in secret. Nobody will realize what we're doing until it's too late, and they'll be sorry in the end. They'll be sorry for what they did, they'll be sorry for themselves for being so blind, and they'll be sorry that they treated us so badly. And old Dumbles and Voldie won't know what hit them. They'll-"

"You're rambling, brat."

"Oh... where was I? Oh yeah, the plan! You don't understand it because-"

"I don't understand it because no other human being could possibly understand this... abomination. I am reasonably sure that even you, the creator, can't even understand this mess. And what are these diagrams? I had hoped that while you are surely no artist, you could have come up with something that didn't resemble the random scribbling of a five-year-old with half a brain that just got a new box of crayons-"

"Wait... how do you know what crayons are?"

"That is none of your concern. The point is that how you could call this anything besides rubbish is beyond me. An ingenious and life-changing plan indeed..."

"If you would just LISTEN to what I'm trying to tell you, you would know that you're-"

"If you are done wasting my valuable time with this nonsense, I would very much like to retire for the night. And you shouldn't even be- Oomph!"

"Sorry, I just had to shut you up for a moment. And don't glare at me like that!"

"I will look at whomever I please however I please. And what, pray tell, was so important that you had to launch yourself at me so suddenly and practically knock me over? It was far from elegant."

"Stop complaining. You know you like kissing me anyway."

"Bollocks."

"Then why do you have that look on your face?"

"..."

"Just admit it- you like kissing me, even if I have to 'launch myself at you so suddenly and practically knock you over'."

"Didn't you have a point to make? And were those air quotes?"

"How do you know- oh, never mind. And I told you, I had to shut you up in order to tell you something rather... enlightening."

"You never told me that."

"I was going to before you distracted me!"

"You said you were going to tell me something... enlightening? As if one such as yourself could tell me something I don't already know."

"So I guess it's safe to assume that you were looking at my plans upside-down on purpose?"

"Upside-down? Preposterous. I would know if I was holding a piece of parchment upside-down or not. This is the only logical-"

"Humor me, then."

"Oh, all right, but only to prove that you... I see."

"Told you so!"

"..."

"Can I gloat now?"

"Absolutely not. I was merely testing you. I held the parchment upside-down to see if you were sharp enough to notice or not."

"Whatever you say..."

"Enlightening, indeed..."

"What was that? You know you really shouldn't mutter."

"I will do as I please."

"You should see the look on your face right now. It's absolutely priceless. Proving you wrong and rubbing it in your face is almost as much fun as that time we almost got caught snogging in the hallway. You were scared shitless."

"Excuse me? I was not scared. Besides, I do not snog, as you so eloquently put it, in the hallway like some common, hormone-crazed teenager. And even if I did decide to engage in that sort of activity, I most certainly would not have gotten myself caught."

"We didn't get caught. I said we almost got caught."

"That is of no consequence. And as I stated, I was not snogging in the first place."

"Well, what do you call it, then? We were practically about to have sex, right there in the hallway! And what about that time when you said you were going to fu-"

"Enough!"

"-me into the mattress? That was hot, you know. But then Dumbledore had to walk in right when we were about to-"

"I said that was enough! Do you not have ears?"

"Stop scowling at me like that! I was merely reminding you that-"

"As I was saying, we are not supposed to be fantasizing or reminiscing. We are supposed to be discussing our plans."

"Right. Speaking of fantasies... Okay, okay, I get it! I'll be good... for now. You know, more people would like you if you didn't constantly send them hateful glares. It's rather unnerving."

"Then why do you put up with me?"

"Because I lo- er, I like Potions."

"Yes, and I'm a purple unicorn with a giant squirrel's tail. You of all people should know that I have no desire to make people like me. I could care less."

"Very funny. But you're glad I like you, aren't you? Of course you are. I'm just that wonderf- Hey, don't mock me!"

"I merely had something in my eye. Back to the matter at hand... I must say, your ideas aren't as abysmal as I thought they would be. Quite the contrary, actually. With a little work..."

"See, I told you I was brilliant. If you weren't so busy being a snarky bastard, you would have noticed that right away."

"Perhaps. This just may work... AFTER we work out some of the... ah... finer details."

"You saw THAT part, then, didn't you? And was that a compliment, Mr. Snarkypants?"

"Don't push your luck."

"But..."

"No whining."

"Fine then. Do I at least get a reward for my extraordinary brilliance?"

"This is one of the times where I might ask myself why I ever put up with you."

"Because you luuurve me. And I know you do."

"Have I ever told you how much you annoy me?"

"Pretty much every day since we met."

"Indeed. Who would have ever thought we'd end up like this? Never in my wildest... ah..."

"What was that?"

"I was just talking to myself."

"Right then... There's still a lot more to come, and you know it. Just think of what will happen in the future. Speaking of which..."

"Isn't it about time for bed?"

"For sleeping? Or for other bedtime activities?"

"You are not spending the night here."

"Why not?"

"Don't pout. Tomorrow is the last day of term and we'll both need our rest to pull off the first part of our plans. We still have a lot to discuss, seeing as we barely got anything accomplished today because you couldn't get your insufferable mind out of the gutter."

"It wasn't my fault. You were being mean."

"Insolent brat."

"Git."

"I thought I told you to go to bed."

"So it's our plans now?"

"Pardon?"

"You said they were 'our plans'. Does that mean you like them?"

"You know as well as I that this matter involves both of us. You may have inspired the original ideas, though how you managed to is beyond me, but there are still major flaws. Despite our best efforts, you are still somewhat naïve and your lack of experience in dealing with certain parts may prove to be deadly. Therefore, we are fortunate to have one another. It pains me to say this, but we both balance out each other's negative aspects, if you will."

"Aw, that's the sweetest thing I've ever heard you say."

"Don't get used to it, brat. Let's not forget that we could never hope to pull this off without my superior acting skills and intellect."

"Acting skills? Ha, that's funny. You're just good at shutting people out, hiding your emotions, and pretending."

"That is the essence of acting, is it not? Let us not also forget that my skills are helping us hide our... ah... relationship... rather well."

"I do my part, too! What about-"

"That's strange. I seem to recall telling you to go to bed, but yet you are still here."

"Yeah, like 15 minutes ago. It's not my fault you keep rambling on and going off on tangents."

"Sorry?"

"Never mind, it's just a Muggle term. Le gasp, it looks like I know another thing that you don't know. The world must be ending! Aaaaaaaaaaahhh!"

"Stop being overdramatic and go to bed. My patience is wearing thin."

"Yes, mother. Do I get a goodnight kiss?"

"Only if it will get you to leave me alone."

"I told you you liked kissing me. If I asked for anything else you would say no."

"Bed! Now!"

"But you didn't give me my kiss yet!"

"I am aware of that. Now go, before people see you in the halls after dark and ask awkward questions."

"You're evil."

"You're a cheeky brat."

"..."

"..."

"Well, goodnight then. See you tomorrow?"

"As planned."