Merge Into You

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.

Rating: PG-13/T

Spoilers: Grave Danger mostly and bits of other season 1-5 episodes.

Summary: This is the sequel to "Love Is Not A Crime". I would advise reading that prior to this. This story takes place one month after Grave Danger. Nick and Greg move on past the events of Nick's kidnapping with a few setbacks and more lab drama will ensue!

WARNING: There is strong language in this chapter and some inferred violence.

Chapter Eight: Just the Way You Are
Date: July 4, 2005

Don't go changing, to try and please me
You never let me down before
Don't imagine you're too familiar
And I don't see you anymore
I wouldn't leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
I'll take you just the way you are

Just the Way You Are; Billy Joel

Nick was sitting at the kitchen table sorting out the mail that had gone unread over the past few weeks. Bills for utilities, bank statements, credit card payments, junk mail, Get Well cards, coupons were all sorted out before him. He read his American Express statement and rolled his eyes. He knew he liked to swipe that card but this was too much.

He pushed his chair back and headed towards their office in the north corner of their home. He glanced at the kitchen clock and made a mental note that Greg has been gone for thirty-three minutes. Greg went to the store to pick up hamburgers and hot dogs. They were having a Fourth of July barbeque for their team and then they would all head into work together…as a family.

He went into the office. It was a big room with two desks. His was in front of the window facing the street and Greg's was in the corner by the door. Their computers were on and their screensavers rolling around. Nick's desk was perfect as a result of his touch of OCD. Everything was neatly organized. Greg's on the other hand was covered in papers, textbooks and forensic journals. Their bookcase was crammed with forensic journals and textbooks, their textbooks from their college days and other reading materials. Hung proudly on the wall were their degrees. Nick's Criminal Justice degree and his creative writing minor certificate. It was a hidden passion of his…writing. Greg had three. His bachelors (in chemistry), his minor (biology) and his Masters in Chemistry.

He went over to his desk and opened (an organized) drawer and pulled out his checkbook. They shared everything together. They shared love, a house, a bed, and a financial account. Though the two had their own checking and savings accounts with their respective banks, they also shared a joint account where half of their monthly checks went into. Nick would pay his pricey Amex bill with his own money.

Fifteen minutes later, Greg came rushing through the garage door, three bags in his hands. "How was the store?' Nick asked as he got up to help Greg.

"Fucking Miserable. I swear to god that everyone and their dead colonial ancestors were at Stop and Shop!"

"Did you get the relish? We have none left." Nick asked as he put the thawing hamburgers in the fridge.

"Yeah, it's in that bag on the counter. Paying bills, I see?" Greg laughed at his boyfriend.

"Yeah, especially my favorite Amex bill!" Nick exclaimed sarcastically.

"That is why I carry cash not plastic. How much?"

"Almost eight hundred." Nick laughed. Greg rolled his eyes as he put more things away from his grocery adventure.

"What time is the team coming by?" Nick asked.

"They should be here around four. Sara has to leave at nine to get Elliot to the babysitter." Greg said.

Nick smiled at his lover. Thoughts of children fluttered about his brain as he watched Greg parade around the kitchen. Ever since he was young the thought of being a father brought much strength and happiness to him. As he grew older and delved more into forensics the thoughts dissipated with the violence and hate he saw everyday. That night when and he and Greg became a "we" the thoughts returned. Greg would be a great father and that was something Nick wanted to see happen but the reality of his near death experience scared those thoughts again. Was he stable enough to have a child? Something bad happened and the alcohol and thoughts of suicide were still fluttering.

"I bought another bottle of Jack Daniels. If you plan on drinking the whole bottle again, let me know and I'll join you so the alcohol intake won't be as high." Greg said sardonically. "And can you believe Mario carded me? I've been going there since I moved to Vegas and I still get carded."

"He's just doing his job. I got carded for the spray paint for the back fence two weeks ago." Nick laughed, "And I'm going to be thirty-four!"

The two broke out into a laughter which filled their home.

A Few Hours Later….

The Graveyard Shift of the Las Vegas Crime Lab was gathered in the backyard of their teammates Nick and Greg. Grissom and Catherine were bickering over chips and salsa, all smiles. Warrick was flirting with his girlfriend, Tina, who he brought along over the grill where he was cooking hamburgers and hot dogs and draining a beer. Prior to the party, Grissom made a decree that alcohol intake was to not exceed two beers per person and no hard liquor was allowed.

Nick was lying on a blanket under a tree in the yard with Lindsay and Elliot who was busy playing with his toys. Nick was smiling as he played with him and did his baby voice.

Greg and Sara sat on the deck and watched their respectable love ones play under the tree. "He's really good with kids." Sara said to Greg, who was downing a cigarette.

"Yeah, he is. He loves them." Greg smiled to his friend. When it came to friendships in the lab, Greg was best friends with Sara. The two always spent more time together. Warrick had Nick but that friendship started to fade when Nick and Greg got together and Warrick was subtlety replaced by Catherine. They were all best friends but some were better than others.

"Have you two thought about kids?" Sara asked. She knew Nick's answer and now she wanted Greg's answer.

"I have. I always have ever since I was a kid, I wanted to be a father. It's weird though, I have no experience expect for when I babysat my brother years ago. Nick has the whole Uncle thing with Abby's kids, but I don't know if we're ready yet."

"Why wouldn't you two be ready?" Sara asked as she reached across and grabbed Greg's cigarette and took a puff. Greg looked at her and than at Grissom, who was in animate conversation with Catherine. 'Our little secret." Greg smiled.

"Answer the question, Gregory!"

"I don't think he is ready for it. He is too troubled right now to be a father. He's still on anxiety and depression drugs, he got drunk off a whole bottle of Jack Daniels, brand new mind you, last night and had a loaded gun with the bullet in the barrel by his side last night. He's lost and he needs to find his way."

"Maybe you should bring this up to him. I mean if you tell him you want a family maybe he'll work on getting better so you two can have that family."

"Being a mother has made you the wise one hasn't it?"

"Don't knock parenthood." Sara smirked. "On a darker note, I know about Nick and this Bryant guy."

"What do you know?" Greg asked cautiously, glancing his gaze at Nick was playing airplane with Elliot. His purple lenses on his aviators meeting her dark lenses.

"Bryant not only called Abby when he killed this family. He called his sister, Jennifer. Jennifer came to the lab early this morning and asked for Nick. Judy told her he wasn't in and she asked for your address. Judy didn't give it out, so don't worry but she told me that this lady was looking for Nick and asked for the address. I looked her up, suspiciously of course. You know me. She's trouble, Greg."

"I know." Greg said.

"She was arrested and convicted of sexual assault and risk of injury to a minor in 1984. Her victim was twelve; he killed himself in '85. She was sentenced to seven years in prison but was given a suspended sentence and put on seven year probation instead. In '86, she violated the terms of her probation, this time with a seven year old and was put in prison for seven years plus the remainder of her previous sentence not served on probation; a combined total of twelve years. She was released in '98 and moved to Washington DC with her brother."

"Oh my god." Greg said immediately grabbing his cigarettes. Shakily, he lit a cigarette. "Do you think she'll come here?"

"I don't know. We can't give out your personal information but Abby can. Nick was a victim wasn't he?" She removed her sunglasses to show her eyes and Greg knew she had best intentions. He could see it in her chocolate eyes: her empathy.

"Yeah, when he was nine. It scarred him."

Sara looked into his eyes and nodded her understanding. "That explains his passion for cases involving children and don't worry my lips are sealed."

"Thank you, only you, me and Catherine know and I think he's ashamed. He never came to terms with it, you know? How do you understand something like that?"

"I know where he's coming from though. Remember the case with the Russian girl who was buried in tar? The case where I made that comment to Catherine?"

"Yeah, the lab was talking about that for at least a week." Greg nodded.

"Well, we thought abusive husband and it ripped me apart inside."

'Were you married before and abused?" Greg asked not knowing.

"No, I've been lucky to have never been abused physically. I had my share of mental abuse growing up in foster care."

'You were in foster care?"

"Yeah, my father was abusive towards my mother. He hit her constantly and for no good reason. My mother than stabbed him to death when I was eleven. I remember seeing his dead body lying in his marriage bed and my mother being carted off to an insane asylum. She was given thirty-three years in prison following a stint in the asylum. You are the only other person here who knows besides Gil." Behind her sunglasses, tears were forming.

"You mentioned mental abuse?"

"The other kids at school made comments to me, mean things, because my mother killed my father. I was the girl who had a dead father and a murderer mother."

"I'm sorry." Greg said taking her hand in his.

"Don't be. I heard that all the time from social workers, friends, family members but I need your apologies. My father needs them because he's been dead twenty-two years. My mother needs them because it was her only way out. I'm not sorry. I used it as motivation to become something neither of them was. I went to Harvard, damn it."

"And you're one of the strongest people I know." Greg smiled.

Nick picked Elliot up and carried up to the deck. Lindsay was following behind him.

"I think he's hungry!" Nick said to Sara, who sighed and stood up. "Mind if I use your living room?"

"Go for it."

Greg said to his friend as Nick handed over the fussy infant. 'Hey, love!" Nick smiled and pecked Greg on the cheek and took a seat.

"What were you and Sara talking about? It looked pretty intense." Nick asked as he sat back in Sara's now vacant chair.

"Nothing important just girl stuff." Greg said.

"Really, like what? Which celebrity male you want to do dirty things too?" Nick joked lightly.

"Yeah, and we then decided that tonight we are going to braid our hair and watch movies with French subtitles." Greg smirked while rolling his eyes. Nick let out a heavy chuckle. Trust me won't you don't know won't hurt you, Greg thought to himself.

"Want another beer?" Nick asked as Greg put his can to his lips and found it was empty.

"Yes, please!" Greg smiled and Nick nodded and headed towards the cooler on the other side of the deck. "And maybe a tranquilizer." Greg said to himself under his breath.

Greg sat in silence as he stared at his closest friends. His mind focusing on their movements. Warrick's arm around Tina. Catherine's laughter with Lindsay. Grissom sitting in his chair sipping a beer. Sara inside breastfeeding Elliot and Nick's walk to the cooler. Each movement is defined; normal for the doer.

And Greg just sat there, as if on the sidelines. Feelings of being powerless overwhelming him, hatred for his lover's abuser and feelings of grief over everything he has yet to achieve: a family.

And more importantly the love he has for a certain Texan with a big heart…

So sorry this is late. Things have been crazy! Please Review!!!