Sarcasm can be Dangerous
By, The Angels of Death
Summary: What can happen when Tenten and Neji are bored out of their minds on one summer's day? They bicker madly. And when did Lee know telepathy?
Pairing: I added a little Nejiten fluff in here, but it's not much. Not yet, anyways. ;D
I wrote this story because I was abnormally emo about nothing. XD So…
Dedicated to anyone feeling emo right now.
Chapter Two: They Scream like Girls
Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
Neji yawned; his bare feet padded softly on the carpeted floor, as he went to go answer the door.
Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
He grumbled, and threw the door open grumpily.
It was near 4 in the morning, and the sun still hadn't shown itself yet.
He wondered who in their right minds would come over so early in the morning.
…Of course. It was Tenten, still outfitted in her pajamas.
Neji looked down and noticed she had walked over in her bunny slippers.
Her hair was a mess, and…
Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
…She continued to ring the doorbell. He stood right in front of her with the door wide open, and she still continued to attack the ringer.
Neji sighed and dragged her into the house, before she froze in the cold morning air.
…Not that he cared about her or anything. OF COURSE NOT! There could never even be a possibility of that. It was preposterous!
Tenten stood there, her head feeling fuzzy.
Neji yawned, leaning against the wall of his hallway.
"…Yes?"
"…Neji…"
"Hm?"
"…I feel…"
"………?"
"...I feel so EMO RIGHT NOW!"
She lunged at him unexpectedly, wrapping her arms tightly around him, burying her head in his warm chest.
Neji reacted quite embarrassedly, actually.
He had jumped in shock, his arms hovering in the air, not knowing what purpose they were for at times like this.
He recalled a soap opera where the SAME EXACT event had happened between the two protagonists.
…Of course, he never watched silly things like that.
………Yes. He didn't.
Although he possessed a whole drawer full of books.
Continuing on.
Neji remembered when the girl had thrown herself at the boy and he wrapped his arms around her lovingly-…
Oh god no.
Neji, eyebrow poised delicately upwards, didn't know what to do.
And this was when he felt stupid. Of course he didn't know such things as…
As…
…feelings…
He felt Tenten's grip around him tighten.
'…Oh god. I forgot that Tenten was taught under the Hokage to obtain inhuman strength. Will I LIVE?'
It was then that he also recalled something that Lee taught him earlier in their younger days. And yes. Lee did teach him something.
Flashback
With a finger poised in the air, Lee continued on with his speech.
"Neji, we're approaching the age when hormones are slowly taking over our bodies and making us think things that just shouldn't be thought of."
"So you're admitting that you're having dirty thoughts? You're turning into a pervert?"
Lee blushed, and Neji chuckled. Yes. Chuckled.
"Now, girls can be leeches when they want attention. They'll just LATCH on to you and won't let go until they get what they want."
"…Lee, that sounds dirty."
"Only to your dirty little mind, my incompetent friend. Anyways, when a female is emotionally unstable at the moment, you need to COMFORT her. Hug her, pat her on the head, do SOMETHING to make her feel better."
"…Now why the heck would I do that?"
"…I don't really know. Gai-sensei said we had to do that to 'get some', but he never really elaborated on that subject, really."
"Get some? Some what? Magic scrolls?"
"…You know…that makes sense."
Neji and Lee wore confused expressions on their innocent little faces.
"We should ask someone later."
"YOSH!"
End Flashback
Neji slowly lowered his arms and…
…
……
…………
………………
…Patted Tenten awkwardly on the head.
"U-uh…there there, Tenten. There…there…"
Tenten slowly lifted her head up to look him into the eyes.
"…There there? I walk here early in the morning, and all I get is a pat on the head and a 'there there'? ARE YOU SERIOUS?"
Tenten stalked out of the door.
"I'm going to try Lee's house."
Neji stood there, dumbfounded.
Wait.
Wait just one second.
LEE WAS A BETTER CHOICE THAN HIM?
With that thought racing in his mind, he nimbly caught her wrist, and pulled her into a warm embrace.
Awkward nonetheless, but it would've looked pretty damn fluffy, if anyone was watching.
'Oh yeah, I'm slick.'
Tenten snuggled into the embrace gratefully.
And froze.
'…I'm…hugging…someone. I'm hugging a male. I'm hugging NEJI. OH MY GOD. I feel all GIRLY now! EW, EW, EW, EW!!!'
Tenten panicked, not knowing what to do. If she leapt out of the embrace, he would be greatly offended. She breathed slowly and observed their current situation.
'The situation is frighteningly comfortable, and I did come here to be comforted. And Neji is actually doing SOMETHING, instead of just STANDING THERE like a non-responsive…THING. So I might as well take advantage of the situation. Yes, I'll just try and enjoy it.'
…She didn't really have to try. She knew she enjoyed it. It was just…
DENIAL.
Lee whistled as he entered the room nonchalantly.
"NEJI, IT'S TIME FOR OUR DAILY MORNING-…OH MY GOD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO OUR BELOVED FLOWER?"
Neji broke apart from the tight embrace, blushing scarlet, and Tenten leapt away as if she was burned badly from the touch. They both stared at each other long and hard, not knowing how to react. Lee coughed, breaking the awkward silence. Tenten's voice was unusually squeaky.
"…Um…Lee. Hi."
Lee, however, was freaking out.
"Wha-…What? Why? Wait. What? Wait. Waaaaait."
"Calm down Lee! I was just…uh…feeling really emo."
Lee didn't believe her.
"LIES, ALL OF IT."
Neji sighed.
"Lee, Tenten's emotions was chemically unbalanced at the time, so I comforted her like you taught me before."
Lee stopped freaking out, and he had hearts in his eyes.
"You-…you listened to one of my lessons?"
Lee sniffled a little.
"I'm so…honored…"
Tenten groaned. This was just getting nowhere.
So.
Being the way Tenten was, she faked fainting. Because she got bored.
She swooned and collapsed heavily on the floor.
Lee screamed like a girl.
Neji's eyes nearly popped out of his eye sockets.
Both of them looked at each other, their eyes clearly yelling out,' What do we do?'
Tenten drummed her fingers lightly against the tiled floor, waiting to see how they were going to react.
They both screamed like little sissies and ran away, panicking.
Tenten slowly lifted herself from the floor, and sat down, leaning against the wall.
"How long will it take them to realize that I have their weapons, so they can't go sparring?"
She brooded at their reaction.
"…Those guys suck. But I love them anyways."
TBC…
This chapter really didn't go anywhere. XD I'm sorry about that. But I hope it was just a teensy bit entertaining, by the least.
Yes, I realize I make most of the characters…out of character. Forgive me. But it's how I like to write.
I just find it funny when I imagine Lee and Neji freaking out and screaming like girls. What fun. :D
- The Angels of Death