Title: The Flu

Rating: G

Spoilers: None

Season: 3

Summary: As he lay in bed, Lorne wondered who he should kill first…

Disclaimer: Okay I don't own Stargate Atlantis or anything to do with it's universe, you know that and I know that so lets not bring it up. I do own the plot though.


Evan Lorne headed into the infirmary as the citywide page had asked. Why Beckett needed to see him he didn't know but he'd decided when he came to Atlantis to listen when a doctor called. Once he'd ignored a page from Dr. Fraiser at the SGC and the woman had made him regret it when she finally got her hands on him. He still didn't know why she demanded to give him a rabies shot but it had hurt enough to teach him to listen when he was called.

Stepping through the doors that led to the infirmary, Evan found it surprisingly quiet, which seemed to be the way the room ran. Either it was a disaster area or it was eerily silent. "Doc?"

"Aye back here Major." Carson's Scottish drawl called from a smaller connecting room. Evan frowned slightly and walked into the room to find the Scotsman in the small-refrigerated cabinet where he kept temperature-sensitive materials. "Have a seat,"

"Do you mind if I ask why?" Evan asked as he headed over to the bed and hopped up.

"Ye know how Lt. Marcks was complainin' the other day? Of not feelin' well? It ends up his last visit to Earth he managed to pick up a strain of the flu. We've quarantined him to his room considerin' the strain could spread through the city but I've decided to vaccinate all members of his team." Carson said as he turned around with a syringe in hand.

Evan shook his head, true enough he was the leader of Marcks team but the idea of a flu vaccine didn't sound too appealing, "Whoa there Doc, listen I can't have the vaccine…"

Carson's dark eyebrows rose as if slightly amused, "Aye? And why is that? I don't believe you've ever been afraid of needles before Major."

"It's not the needle Doc," Evan shook his head, his eyes still on the syringe, "It's the fact that anytime I get a vaccine for the flu I get it."

Carson frowned slightly and nodded, "Aye, that's the point Major. I'm injecting you with a minor version of the same strain so your body will build up antibodies."

Evan smiled, that small charming smirk that often had most of the female staff on Atlantis swooning but unfortunately didn't seem to do anything for the lead medical officer, "I know that's what its supposed to do in theory Doc, but not with me. That shot will make me deathly ill. You want me not to get sick, then its best not to even come near me with that."

Carson frowned slightly, eyeing the dark haired major as he did McKay when he was complaining before he grabbed his arm and stuck the needle into the muscle of his upper arm. He pushed down the plunger easily and removed the needle, "There ya go."

Evan cupped his arm and smirked sarcastically, "Wow, thanks Doc."


Three Days Later

Evan lay on his stomach, legs and arms splayed about like a starfish, and head buried into his pillow. His head was throbbing despite the aspirin he'd taken an hour before and he was pretty sure he'd eventually need to leave his quarters for more tissue soon to top it off. It started simply enough: a small throb in the back of his head and having slight chills. Within twenty-four hours he couldn't find the energy to crawl out of bed, he'd started a dry, rough cough, his nose was running, he hurt everywhere and the only thing he could think of was how badly he wanted to injure Beckett.

He'd locked himself into his room and didn't even really bother to get food, since he wasn't completely positive he could keep it down. The usually soft but not in his throbbing head ring of the door echoed through his room and he groaned, looking at the door. He willed the door to open, having that ATA gene was a godsend most of the time, and forced himself up, wrapping his blanket around him.

When John Sheppard stepped through the door (definitely not who Lorne was expecting) the major stumbled to his feet, wiping at his nose with the back of his hand quickly, "Sir?"

John walked into the darkened room and nodded towards him, "At ease Major," he looked around the room quickly before settling back onto his second-in-command, "Thought I'd check on you. That cute little brunette computer specialist mentioned she hadn't seen you around. Made me realize I hadn't seen you myself. Are you…feeling alright?"

"Flu vaccine sir." Evan said sitting on his bed. "Beckett insisted."

"Flu vaccine?" The hazel-eyed lieutenant colonel echoed, raising his brows, "Sure seems like you've got the full on flu."

"I tried to warn him, he wouldn't listen sir." Evan said drowsily.

"When was the last time you ate?" John asked looking around the room again.

"Yesterday I think." Evan answered, "Sir I really don't feel like company,"

"Yeah, get some rest Major." John said heading back for the door.

Evan nodded absently and crawled back into his bed, "Yes sir."


The next time Lorne awoke he found a small card on his end table that hadn't been there before. Frowning he looked around his empty room and grabbed the card which read in scrawled penmanship;

"Major, I should have listened to you. Your symptoms should pass within a few days. Beckett."

Evan managed a small laugh, which quickly turned into a cough as he tossed the card back down and crawled back under his covers. Doctors, he snorted.