Warning: This chapter contains yaoi. If the general idea offends you, or if this pairing offends you, or if, by some inscrutable law of the universe, I offend you, you probably don't want to read any further. Note the rating. Thank you.

(A/N): Wow, you guys have been great. This chapter is dedicated to everyone who reviewed, faved, and added this to your alerts - I was blown away. You guys are awesome.

Breathing Deeply: Release

"Oh, we do too have hearts!" – Demyx, Hollow Bastion

Axel yawned widely and ground the heels of his gloved hands against his grainy eyes. He was exhausted. He hadn't had more than three or four hours' sleep in a row for almost two weeks. Mostly because when he slept, he dreamed. And he could never look Roxas straight in the face for at least an hour after waking.

Axel traced weary circles against his temples, trying to drive back the headache threatening to spread from the back of his skull.

He would be the first to admit that he could be remarkably thick, but when he'd finally identified Roxas as the cause of his strange feelings that day, it was as if he'd opened a floodgate that couldn't be closed again. If he had to spend one more night dreaming about doing –

Axel's eye twitched. He was stopping that thought right there, strangling it until it died a horrible, screaming death.

Because he was not going to force himself on Roxas.

For one thing, the Key of Destiny was just a kid, for crying out loud. Axel's fingers paused, a small frown tugging at his mouth as his eyes stared at nothing. Although…

Weren't Nobodies technically ageless? Sure, they were all fading back into obscurity – they began fading the day they were created – but from the day of their birth to the day they disappeared back into the darkness, they didn't age. Not the way Somebodies did.

Still, if he was gonna use that logic, Roxas was less than a year old. Axel buried his face in his hands, groaning. That was beyond cradle robbing. That was just sick. But he was only two years old by that reckoning…

Axel threaded his fingers through his hair, tugging on the fiery locks in frustration. He was not going to stand here and try to justify wanting to sleep with his best friend. He. Was. Not.

"Axel?"

The Flurry of Dancing Flames froze, hands still fisted in his hair.

"Axel, what the hell? Are you ok?"

Axel couldn't help the squeak that erupted from his suddenly constricted throat as his green eyes met Roxas's blue ones. He was half convinced the younger Nobody would be able to read his thoughts as easily as if they had been written across his face.

And begin to slowly dismember him with Oathkeeper and Oblivion for thinking them.

"Axel?"

Roxas was looking at him with an expression of deep confusion, brows knotted together, arms crossed over his chest. The blonde cocked his head to the side thoughtfully, lips pursing.

"Are you sick?"

"Uh – "

When had the act of speaking become so difficult? Axel was feeling an increasingly irresistible urge to slam his head repeatedly into the nearest wall.

Concern was swiftly replacing Roxas's confused expression.

"Are you really sick? Should I get Vexen or something?"

Axel bolted upright, wincing as he tore out a fistful of hair in his haste.

"No!" he shouted desperately. Roxas blinked at him, raising an eyebrow in silent question. Axel scowled.

"Uh, the last time I went to Vexen, he fed me a ground-up Heartless. He said it would settle my stomach."

Roxas looked faintly taken aback.

"Why the heck would he do that?" he asked, sounding bemused. He turned away from Axel, throwing a glance back at the Flurry of Dancing Flames, clearly inviting the older Nobody to walk with him. Axel fell into step beside the kid.

"He was testing a theory," he said absently. "It was actually an interesting idea. You know how easily the Heartless can gather hearts, and they actually hold the hearts within themselves. Vexen wanted to see if introducing a Heartless into a Nobody's body would allow us to do the same – collect the hearts ourselves, maybe become whole again."

"Oh," Roxas said quietly. He was silent for a moment, then he cast a skeptical eye over Axel. "Did it work?" he asked doubtfully. Axel grimaced.

"No," he said, his brows creasing at the memory. "No, it didn't. Turns out feeding a Heartless to a Nobody only gives them explosive – "

"I don't want to know," Roxas interrupted hastily. Axel smirked down at him.

Everything was fine, he told himself with a slight edge of hysteria. They were fine, just like they always were; he didn't want to pin his best friend against the nearest horizontal surface and –

Bad thoughts. Baaaaaad thoughts.

Axel twitched violently, trying to interrupt that particular train of consideration before it could wind its way to its inevitable conclusion.

"Axel?"

And damn it, Roxas was reaching out for him, wrapping his hand around Axel's arm, looking up into Axel's face with such unabashed concern that Axel wanted to pin him to the ground and take him right there, hallway or not. He broke away from the kid's grip with a harsh groan.

"I'm fine," he grated, looking anywhere but at Roxas. "I just – I've just gotta…" Trailing off into an indecipherable mutter, he summoned a dark portal and stepped through it, leaving Roxas standing alone in the empty hall.

Axel stumbled out of the darkness and collapsed belly-first onto his bed. He jammed the pillow over his head, burying his burning face in the cool sheets. He could not keep doing this. He was used to taking anything and everything he wanted. He wasn't used to holding back.

But Roxas was important to him. He was the most important thing in Axel's otherwise empty world. Axel wasn't going to bed the kid just because he'd suddenly realized how much he wanted him. That wasn't fair to Roxas.

Axel hunched his shoulders, a broken laugh tearing its way out of his throat. He really was an idiot.

"Axel, what the hell!"

Axel's head shot up at the familiar voice, the pillow flying up and back, coming to rest at the foot of the bed. Roxas was just stepping through a dark portal, face screwed up in an expression of anger.

"Roxas…" Axel's voice was a harsh whisper. He stared in horror at the blonde. He hadn't expected the kid to follow him.

"What is wrong with you?!" Roxas cried, taking a step toward the redhead. Toward the bed. Axel's throat spasmed. The Flurry of Dancing Flames pushed himself up from the sheets desperately and shot toward the younger Nobody. He didn't want Roxas anywhere near the bed – his self-control was already hanging by the thinnest of threads.

He grabbed the younger Nobody by the wrist as he whipped around the boy, dragging Roxas toward the door.

"Axel –!"

"I'm sorry, Roxas, ok? I really am, I'm sorry, just please, please leave now, ok? Please leave – " Axel couldn't keep the desperation out of his voice. "Please," he finished lamely, turning to face the younger Nobody at last.

One of Roxas's black gloves was clenched between his teeth – he'd peeled the glove off his free hand, which he reached up and laid against Axel's clammy forehead. Axel's self-control snapped.

With a strangled groan he wrapped his hands around Roxas's upper arms – he backed the blonde into the wall and pressed his lips against his friend's. Roxas struggled against him, turning his face away from him.

"Axel, what – what are you doing!"

The ghost of a smirk graced Axel's face for a second. "What do you think I'm doing?" he asked breathlessly, running his hands down Roxas's arms – he grabbed the Key of Destiny's wrists and pinned them above his head, leaning back in for another kiss. "I asked you to leave…"

Roxas didn't fight him this time, and the light pressure of the kid's lips pushing back ever so slightly against his own gave Axel all the encouragement he needed. He flicked his tongue against the seam of Roxas's lips, pleading for entrance.

Roxas gasped, his lips parting slightly, and Axel dove in, tracing the inside of Roxas's mouth, teasing the blonde's tongue with his own until Roxas responded, suddenly surging up against him.

Axel moaned into Roxas's mouth, unconsciously beginning to grind his hips against the blonde's, trying to pull the younger Nobody into rhythm with him. It took a few moments for him to realize how still Roxas had grown against him.

Axel pulled back, grinning nervously. "What? What is it?" he asked, trying to keep his tone light.

Roxas's face was flushed and his eyes were bright with an emotion Axel couldn't name, but his voice was steady.

"Why are you doing this?" he asked quietly. Axel's nervous grin widened before it disappeared. How was he supposed to answer that?

"Because," he began, then faltered. Roxas's gaze didn't waver as Axel took a deep breath. "Because you make me feel," he managed to choke out. "God, Roxas, you make me feel, you make me want – "

He broke off with a groan, pressing his lips to Roxas's again, but the Key of Destiny turned his head sharply to the side. Growling in frustration, Axel tried to recapture the blonde's lips, but Roxas spoke, and the sadness in his voice tore at Axel's non-existent heart.

"Lust isn't an emotion," he whispered brokenly.

Axel narrowed his eyes. He shifted his grip on Roxas's wrists so that he was pinning the boy with a single hand. He grabbed the younger Nobody's chin with the other, forcing the Key of Destiny to look at him. Roxas's eyes widened at the uncharacteristic expression of anger on Axel's face.

"I know that," Axel spit out, digging his fingers into the younger Nobody's jaw. "I don't want you because you'd be an easy fuck" – Roxas winced at the way Axel's voice dropped dangerously on that word – "I want you because you're you." He gave the blonde a hard shake. "I only…want…you."

Roxas stared back, eyes wide.

Axel released the kid's jaw. "And you can't tell me you don't feel anything when I do this – "

He bit Roxas's neck punishingly, running a warm tongue over the bruises he knew would form by morning. Roxas whimpered, twisting in his grasp. Axel pulled back, shaking the boy again.

" – because you'd be lying," he grated out harshly. "I can see it in your eyes – you'd be lying, Roxas." He gritted his teeth, closing his eyes and tightening his grip on Roxas's wrists for a moment before he pushed himself away from the younger Nobody.

"Just…just go," he muttered, running a hand through his hair. "I – I'm sorry, ok? Just go."

Axel didn't know what he expected. A Keyblade to the face, maybe. Broken bones, ruptured organs – possibly castration. He didn't expect the arms that snaked around his neck or the heavy weight that settled against his chest.

He blinked down at the Key of Destiny's face, mere inches from his own.

"Roxas?"

"Idiot," Roxas whispered fiercely. "Idiot." He closed the distance between them and pressed his lips to Axel's.

Axel remained frozen for all of one second before he gave a muffled sob and wrapped his arms around the blonde, returning the kiss fiercely.

Somehow, they made it to the bed. Axel buried his head between Roxas's thighs, drawing broken moans from the Key of Destiny's throat as he writhed beneath him, his bare fingers twining through Axel's fiery tresses.

He stiffened when Axel slipped his fingers into him, but the older Nobody ran his hand through Roxas's hair and whispered soothing words in the younger boy's ear until the blonde stopped wincing, stroking Axel's cheek softly to let him know he was ready.

Axel carefully draped Roxas's legs over his shoulders before sliding forward with a soft groan. He felt Roxas tense at the invasion, and he forced himself to pause, gazing down at the flushed face of his friend.

"Relax, Roxas," he murmured. "Breathe. Just breathe." Slowly, the Key of Destiny forced his body to relax, and then they were moving in rhythm, Roxas keening desperately as Axel whispered hoarsely in his ear, and Roxas was all that mattered –

Roxas suddenly arched beneath him and screamed, his voice breaking around Axel's name.

It was the most beautiful sound Axel had ever heard.

Axel carefully lowered Roxas's legs from his shoulders and rolled off of him, collapsing on to his side next to the blonde. He felt – Axel didn't have a word for what he felt, but he felt it more strongly than any half-memory he had experienced in his nonexistence.

"Do you remember," he whispered roughly, closing his eyes as a small smile flitted across his face, "do you remember when you fought with Xemnas? About whether our emotions were real or not?"

Roxas didn't answer him. Axel opened his eyes and was startled to find that Roxas had curled into a ball, his face turned away from him.

"Roxas?"

He reached out a hesitant hand and placed it on the blonde's shoulder. The Key of Destiny was shaking uncontrollably, the tremors traveling up Axel's arm and making his teeth rattle.

"Aw, shit Roxas," he murmured helplessly, feeling his stomach curl around itself as a queasy sense of guilt settled across his gut. He'd pushed the kid too far too fast – he'd probably hurt him, and he found that thought almost unbearable.

With a broken groan, he pulled the younger Nobody back to face him, tangling his fingers in Roxas's damp hair as he drew the blonde's head to his chest, trying to still the boy's tremors.

"Roxas, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he whispered brokenly. The Key of Destiny didn't respond, and Axel let his voice trail away into soothing nonsensical sounds, running his fingers through the kid's hair, waiting for Roxas to push him away, to storm out of his room and never speak to him again.

Roxas reached up and twined trembling fingers through Axel's hair. Axel stiffened, but he felt Roxas sigh against his bare chest before he pulled himself closer to the Flurry of Dancing Flames.

The young Nobody's voice trembled.

"I feel… I – I feel…" His voice trailed off uncertainly, his hands convulsing in Axel's mass of hair. And Axel suddenly understood. He planted a chaste kiss on Roxas's cheek, tightening his arms around his friend.

"Yeah," he said quietly, smiling into Roxas's hair, "I feel too."