Chapter 12: The Mistake That Changed Everything

One month later, a lone motorcycle raced into the heart of Go City. The driver of the bike seemed hell bent on reaching a destination no matter the cost while the bike weaved in and out of traffic. Not a single gridlock could halt the biker nor the police in the traffic flashing their lights, when they saw the bike fly by, could slow down the biker. Instead, it would only make the biker go faster, even to the point many motorist only saw a glimpse of the bike and its rider while they shot by the motorists. The only thing they got to notice was the biker was a woman. Their only hint to it being a woman was the long, black hair that hung out of her helmet and it whipping in the wind.

The entire month she was gone, Shego wanted to return home and be with Merrick, but the guilty feelings of what she done at the mall kept her away. She couldn't face her family and Merrick while knowing she killed people, even if it was by accident. She spent the entire month in a run down hotel, pacing the room she had and spending what money she had on things she though would make her happy again. But she was wrong in believing money could buy her a new happiness and the lonely feelings she had became to much to her. The memories she had of the time she spent with Merrick ate at her and were starting to drive her crazy. She couldn't take it anymore and being a murderer or not, she knew what she had to do. Now she raced head long toward the only thing that could return true happiness to her and she longed for everything to be back to normal again. She only hoped after she explained to Merrick why she left, could things be back to the way it was.

Moments later, she made the bike skid to a stop by the subway entrance she thought she never use again. She looked on at the entrance for a moment and sighed at the sight of it, which was clogged with commuters coming out and heading to their daily routines. She had hoped never to return to the entrance, but she was returning to the tower for a purpose. She had left something there that meant the world to her and she had swore she would never take it off, but she did. Now she have returned to reclaim it and she knew she was going to have a confrontation with her brothers. But she would rather face them than what came after it.

She let out another sigh and slid the helmet off her head. After she laid the helmet down on the handle bars of the bike, she pressed the kick stand down and slid off the bike. Without hesitating, she broke and ran to the entrance, which was still filled with people, but they gave way to Shego as she plowed her way through them. Some were even knocked down by her aggressive behavior and only shook their heads at her while she disappeared among the crowd.

After she had made her through the crowd, she came to the hatch that led her to the long hall that would eventually get her to the tower. In a flash, she opened the large hatch and disappeared into the long hallway. In the past, she would have walked the whole length of the hall, but now she was running down it as fast as she could. She had no time to spare and any wasted seconds could mean the difference of the life she wanted or one she despised.

Before long, she was running through the door at the other end of the hall and was now standing outside the tower; the very place she had grown to hate because it felt like a prison to her and now she had to enter it one more time, but this time, it would be the last for her. While she was gone, she wondered what it would feel like to return to the place. However, she was amazed that she felt nothing, not even regret for wanting to leave forever.

She stared up at the tower for a moment and sighed while she walked to the front door. When she was finally there, she lit her hand and waved it in front of the panel that would open the door, but the door wouldn't open for her, which was strange because all of the team members could open door. In frustration, she shot a plasma shot into the panel, blowing a hole in the side of it. She only shook her head while she knelt down at the hole she made and she went to work bypassing the door's security, which was difficult for her. She had no idea what to do and the more she played with the wires, the more frustrated she became. While she crossed wires that didn't make the door open, she wonder if Merrick would know what to do since he was a master at getting through security systems. After a moment of thinking about how creative he was, the memories of her time with him resurfaced and she broke down crying while she finally crossed two wires that caused the door to click.

After the door made its sounds of finally opening, it slid open but Shego remained kneeling by the panel and cried over her memories. She couldn't shake the guilty feeling she felt over her knowing she hurt Merrick with her running off like she did. But her desire to speak to him kicked in and she stood before the opened door while she wiped the tears from her eyes. When she was able to see in the room with the round table, she saw Hego was sitting at the table and was looking back at her with an amazed look. Before he could even speak, she walked into the room and headed straight to her room.

But she was stopped short of making it to her room by Hego stating, "I thought you weren't coming back?"

"I wasn't, but I left something important here and I need to get it," was all Shego replied before she went into the hall that led to her room.

Before she could get to her room, she heard Hego state sadly in a raised voice, "Shego, the ring isn't here anymore."

Shego only narrowed her eyes at his statement and ran back to the room Hego was sitting in.

The second she burst into the room, she snapped, "What you mean its not here!?"

Hego only lowered his head and stayed silent, but he looked up at her when he saw her hands flaming.

"Merrick came here during the morning after you left and wanted to know if you were ok," Hego finally stated while he relaxed at seeing Shego's hands stop glowing.

"And what did you tell him," she questioned while she started to hold her head in one of her hands.

"I told him what the letter you left us, said."

Shego only shook her head before she stated, "Oh no---how did he react?"

"Well, he didn't believe me at first. But after I showed him the letter and him reading it a few times, he got upset. So, I figured it was over and fetched the ring for him. I thought it was the noble thing to do."

"You idiot! How stupid can you be!? It wasn't over between us, I came back to be with him," Shego snapped at Hego before she flamed up her hands.

"But I thought it was the good thing to do."

"You know what, forget it. I'm through with this so call team for good. Hear me---for good! If I can't amend the damage you done, you have just caused me never to be a good person again. You better pray I find Merrick and he is still understanding," Shego spat before she unlit her hands and started to storm out of the tower.

Hego only lowered his head to his chin from him causing his sister to quit the team and before Shego left the tower, he stated sadly, "I hope you find him, he hasn't been back here since that day."

She only shook her head at his reply and bolted back to the underground hall once she was out of sight of Hego. She couldn't will herself to slow down and once she was back in the subway, she plowed her way through the remaining commuters on the stairs that led above ground. They voiced their opinions of Shego's demeanor of knocking them down, but she paid not a single one of them any attention. She was now back on her mission to speak to Merrick and no one was going to stop her. Once she out of the subway entrance and back on her bike, she sat on the motorcycle for a minute and thought over where she had to go next. There was only one of two places she knew the love of her life would be at that time of morning.

With her mind dead set on visiting those two places, she slid her helmet back on, cranked the bike, popped it in gear, and made a U-turn in front of on coming traffic, which resulted in a car pile up behind Shego while she raced to her next destination. After a few moments, she pulled up to Merrick's home and she sighed at not seeing Lawless parked beside the home, but it told her where to find him. Before she left his home to find him at the school, she looked at his home one last time. It might be the last time she would visit the home if things didn't work out between them. The thought of them not getting back together caused her to tear up and cry in her helmet while she made another U-turn and head in the direction of the school.

All the way to the school, she cried because of her feelings of guilt and loneliness. If things didn't turn out like she wanted them to, she knew she deserved to suffer the life of being hated and lonely. She had everything she wanted a month before, but she threw it all away over an accident she couldn't help. If she had stayed and dealt with it, she wouldn't be racing toward her last hope for a happy life and she be feeling happy instead of miserable.

The feelings only got worst once she got to the school. When she came within sight of the parking lot beside the school, she couldn't spot Merrick's car anywhere in the parking lot and she drove around in the lot in her vain search for the car. But the car wasn't there and she despaired over not being able explain herself to Merrick. She sighed at the feeling of giving up while she hoped he had the car in a shop somewhere and he had to walk to school. Even when she knew that idea was far fetched, because he only walked to school the week after he moved to Go City, she parked her bike in the parking lot and heading to the front door of the school.

When she came through the front door of the school, she realized what the day was because of all the flyers about the prom posted everywhere. She on most broke down crying at knowing she hurt Merrick over him thinking she wouldn't be there for their special day. Before she could even shed a tear over the thought, a class changing bell ring and students filed out of the rooms and filled the halls. When a large body of seniors passed Shego, they all stopped and looked at her with awe, as if they couldn't believe their eyes. Some even looked on at her with sad faces, which Shego narrowed her eyes at and she wondered why they looked sad.

Before she could even speak, the counselor of the school came out of the main office and stopped in his tracks at the sight of the large body of students looking toward the front door. A confused look etched across his face for a moment before he turned his look to the front door too. When he saw Shego standing there, he let out a sigh and motion the mass of students to return to their routine, which most did as told, but a few reluctantly stood where they were for a moment until the counselor gave them a scowling look. After the counselor dealt with the staring crowd of students, he let out another sigh and approached Shego, who was confused over the reacts everyone had at the sight of her.

Before she could say anything, the counselor stated softly, "It's good to see you back. People were worried something happened to you too after the first week you came up missing."

"As you can see, I'm fine, Mr. Borkin. But right now I got to find Mal and talk to him, so excuse me," Shego said with haste while she pushed by Borkin.

"You won't find him here," was all Borkin said sadly, which caused Shego to whip around and look at him as if she expected to him to explain. "I can tell you haven't heard the news, which means I need to talk to you in the office."

"Fine with me after I find Mal," she replied back while her mind raced over what kind of news she didn't get to know about.

Borkin only walked back to the office while he stated sadly, "I'll tell you where to find him after I talk to you."

"But..." was all Shego whispered while she came to two possible conclusions over the news she didn't get to know, both of which she hoped wasn't the news.

The counselor only opened the door to the office and waved Shego inside, who reluctantly went into the office. While she went by the front desk, she saw the secretary give her a sad look when she looked up at Shego. All the sad looks she was getting were confirming what she was guessed was the news she hadn't heard, but deep down she hoped she was just speculating. After Borkin and she was in his office, he closed the door behind him and told Shego to get conformable while he sat in his chair.

They sat in silence for a moment and stared at one other until Borkin finally broke the silence by clearing his throat and he said, "Everyone knows you and Merrick were close, even dating, but whatever happened a month ago changed that. It's no one business except Merrick and your's on what happened, but..."

At noticing the counselor trailing off, Shego spoke up and asked, "But what?"

"Well, whatever happened traumatized Merrick to the point of him driving his car off Look Over Point."

"Say what!? Mal would never do something like that," she said in defiance because she knew that Merrick could never do such a thing.

"I know, Sheila. But people do strange things when they get depressed. There was eye witnesses to the event. We know why teenagers go to Over Look Point and two were there the night Merrick commit suicide."

"Mal would never do that," Shego replied while she tried to convince herself of the fact.

"Michelle and Adam saw the whole thing. They saw headlights of a car and in the next instance, a black sports car fly by them without stopping and crash through the guardrail."

Shego only shook her head at the counselor trying to convince her and she asked, "Well, did they see who was driving?"

"They couldn't see who was driving, but they managed to see the car plummeted down the ravine and catch on fire once it came to a rest."

"Could they tell whose car it was," Shego interrupted while she hoped everyone was mistaken.

"They recognized the car even in its battered shape and called for help. But help didn't arrive in time and the car was nothing but a shell of a car after the fire. The only thing the police salvaged from the car was its tag, which belong to Merrick, but there wasn't any remains found of him because of the fire and because he never was seen again after the wreck, he was assumed dead."

Shego only sat in her chair and look blankly at the counselor for a moment before she finally let the terrible news fill her mind. She dropped her head to her chest and covered her face in her hands while she tried to fight off the tears. But the more she fought the tears, the more she wanted to cry over the fact of her causing Merrick to kill himself.

What have I done, she though miserably to herself before she broke down crying and she couldn't will herself to stop.

"I know, Sheila, I know. It was a shocker for all of us here and it was a surprise when the entire school faculty and student body attended his funeral---even when everyone knew the coffin was empty. It was a sad service because his father didn't attend and no one knows why, but everyone else was proud to be there for a person no one except you got to know, at least they could show their last respects," Borkin said softly while he look on at Shego with pity.

"I should have been there," Shego managed to state between her wails.

The counselor only rose out of his chair and walked around his desk. After he was to Shego, he let out a sigh and sat on the desk beside her. For a moment, he watched her suffering in her miserable state and spoke not a word.

Finally he said calmly, "There's nothing I can say to help ease your pain. If you want to forget the rest of this school year so you can be with family during this terrible time, you can. You have enough credits to graduate even if you didn't come back."

"All I care about right now is seeing Mal's grave," Shego managed to state before she went back to her solitary bereavement.

"I know you want to, it might help with your mourning. But can I please advise you to wait a few days before you go see the grave. I along with others couldn't stand losing another young person this year---or ever again."

"No! I want to see it now," Shego snapped while she uncovered her face and looked up at the counselor with anger.

Borkin only sighed at her reaction and said sadly, "You can find his grave at the Go City Memorial Park, second row, fifth section."

"Thanks," was all Shego said sadly while she rose out of her chair and she started to left the room.

Before she was out of sight of the counselor, he said, "Merrick was ready for death it seemed," causing her to stop in her tracks and look back at the man with, red and swollen, confused eyes.

"He had a will at his age. No one ever knew he was a millionaire, unless you did. In his will, it stated that 490 million was to be given to the school system of this state and that was the only thing stated in the will, nothing else. He was a amazing person, Sheila. It's a shame that only you got to know him," Borkin explained before he lowered his head to his chest.

"He...was," Shego whispered sadly while she turned her head and started to leave the school again.

After she was outside the school, she felt no rush to get to her bike, but she walked slowly to it. The way she was feeling caused her to careless about anything anymore. She didn't care if she got to her bike nor if she made it to Merrick's grave. She saw no point it trying to continue on with her life. She wasn't about to run her bike off a cliff, but now she knew she would be living a life she would hate. Her only option now was to become what Merrick kept her from being. She had to be evil for her to kill innocent people, hurt the one that loved her the most, and have him kill himself over that broken heart.

When she was to her bike and was sitting on it, she let out a sigh and thought over what it be like to see Merrick's grave. When the thinking became too much, she broke down crying and slid her helmet on her head. While her muffled crying could be heard over the humming of her bike, she put the bike in gear and headed to the place that she knew would cause her to feel more sorrow.

After she raced down the city streets for several minutes, a flower shop caught her eye and she stopped by it. Moments later, she came out of the shop, holding a single flower wrapped up and she went back to racing her bike down the streets until she came upon a graveyard. She let out a sigh at the sight of all the graves while she drove by them and once she saw a sign saying, "Section 5," she stopped the bike and looked on at the graves.

Your's is among them somewhere, she thought to herself while she slid off the bike and picked up the flower.

She became reluctant in venturing any closer to the graves, but she finally did after she lowered the flower to her side. When she passed every headstone, she would pick out the name of the person buried in that spot and she would continue on, until she came to a headstone buried away from the rest. The second she read the name, she collapsed to her knees beside the grave and she busted in tears. She became so wrapped in her grief that she fell face first into the grave and started to rub her face in the dirt while she wailed.

She lost sense of time while she grieved over knowing the truth and she cried so long that she couldn't cry anymore. Finally, after it seemed an eternity to Shego, she lifted herself from the grave and looked on at it while she had to will herself to stay on her knees. It hurt her to look at the grave, but at the same time it hurt her to look away from it. A sad smile finally etched across her face while she read the tombstone in its entirely.

"Never let go," Shego whispered sadly while she read the words on the tombstone.
"That's sounds so much like you, Mal. But I must let go, I can't continue to live so as long as I remember you."

With that said, Shego let out a sad sigh and placed the red rose she bought on Merrick's grave. She looked at the grave sadly while she wiped tears from her cheeks and she finally rose to her feet. Once she was standing, she forced herself to look away from the grave and she started to walk toward her bike. She dared not to turn her gaze back at the grave because she knew she would stay at the grave forever if she didn't try to leave and forget who was buried there, but she wasn't sure how she be able to forget Merrick. It would be the hardest thing she ever did in her life.

While she let the ideas of how her life was to be now, she made it to her bike without looking back. Once she was on the bike, she looked at the grave one last time right as a rainstorm sat in over the city. She let out a sigh at what would be her last memory of the grave and she cranked the engine of the bike. She wasn't sure what her future had in store for her now, but she was going to face it without fear of what her destiny was.

After she put the bike in gear, she lowered her head to chest and said sadly, "Well, Mal. It's just me and the world now," before she gunned the engine and headed back out of the city.

On to Anything's Possible: Redux