Disclaimer: All standard disclaimer apply.
A/N: Edit, edit!
- - - - - -
It was a very nice and warm summer afternoon. No loudmouthed blond brats, no perverted Sannins. A day that Tsunade would find perfect for slacking around and relaxing. And that is what she's currently doing now. After imbibing in her favorite indulgence—Sake and more Sake, she had gone off to sleep, paperwork and other priorities forgotten.
Suddenly, the large mahogany double doors of the Hokage's office opened loudly and two figures entered the room. They stopped in front of the desk where a blond head was resting, facing an inkbottle that was lying open with its contents spilled, dripping to the floor. And if they would look more closely, the sight of their Hokage, slightly snoring and drooling on the wooden table would greet them.
"Are you sleeping again, Tsunade-sama?" Shizune's voice resounded throughout the room.
Immediately, Tsunade's eyes flew open and she sat up abruptly. "No, of course not! I was just...resting my eyes," She knew that her student would most definitely not believe her. She took some documents on the right side of her desk, grabbed her quilt, and began signing the papers, not knowing that she was writing blanks, and the papers were absorbing the spilt ink, as she was looking at the two ninjas in front of her. She gave them a smile, "See? How can I sleep? There is so much work to do! Don't you think so, Shikamaru?"
The aforementioned Shinobi only gave a lazy shrug, his eyes closed. And damn if it did not irritate Tsunade. She was expecting him to at least save her from Shizune's another round of whining and reminders about how Tsunade does not take her job seriously, but she should've known better than to expect back up from the laziest ass around.
The younger female was supposed to have started her blab, but she instead had to stifle her laugh, and nudged Shikamaru on the side. He opened his eyes irritatingly, and he too almost snorted at the sight before them.
Tsunade, the Godaime Hokage was sitting there, pretending to be working, boggle-eyed, and had ink stains on one side of her face, on her ear, and in her hair. Her free hand was resting on the desk, directly at the pool of spilt ink. The sight became even more comical when Tsunade used that free hand to comb her ink-stained golden hair back. That was when she had felt that her hair was damp. She looked at her palms, and saw that it was drenched in black ink. Her eyes widened.
It took all the willpower that Shizune and Shikamaru possessed to keep them from laughing out like crazy. But the urge to snort was impossible to fight.
Tsunade frowned. Being laughed at is one of the things she hate the most. "If you are both finished with amusing yourselves at my expense, would one of you hand me a mirror."
Shizune held it in front of her, and the Hokage's eyes widened even more with horror. She touched her right cheek, and her hair. Then she picked up the fallen inkbottle and read the label.
She screamed.
- - - - - -
Shikamaru's ears burned.
Birds resting on the windowpanes of the tower had flown as they were startled by the sound of a scream that was filled with agony. ANBUs and Jounins that were present in the tower all scrambled to reach the largest office room in the building, the Hokage's office.
The large double doors opened, and in came the elite soldiers in defensive stance, ready to attack—
"Hokage-sama!"
—And they saw their Hokage on the floor, sobbing hysterically at one corner of the room, with Shizune trying to calm her down.
Shikamaru had approached the ninjas, saying that the Hokage was fine, and they could return to what they were doing previously and that he and Shizune would look over the Hokage.
As the ninjas left, Shikamaru closed the door behind him and crouched beside Shizune. He couldn't blame the Hokage for playing hysterics now, she had every reason to do so.
Tsunade was beyond mortified. She'd rather be drenched in blood and slime. At least they could be washed off immediately. But not this! Anything but indelible ink!
Shizune had succeeded in calming her mentor down, and had brought her into the washroom to try and rinse some of the inks on her hair, hands and face. Surely gray marks would be left, and there's nothing they could do with it for now. Tsunade would have to wait for the remnants of the ink in her skin to fade by itself, since there is no chemical yet produced to erase indelible ink.
When they went out of the washroom, Tsunade had spots of ink on one side of her face, on her left palm, and her hair was now golden blond with streaks of black in it.
Occasional sniffles came from Tsunade. Shizune asked Shikamaru to wipe off the ink from the table. The lazy ninja reluctantly did so, murmuring troublesome all the while. The ladies sat on the office couch, and Tsunade suddenly turned business-like when she had been told the reason why Shizune and Shikamaru was in her office.
Uchiha Sasuke was back.
- - - - - -
Tsunade was terrified, furious, disgusted and relieved all at the same time.
When Shizune told her that the traitor was back, she had summoned for him and interrogated him posthaste, ink stains forgotten. She had asked him to give her one good reason why Konoha should accept him back, after he had left the village and attacked Konoha shinobis on missions when he was working with Orochimaru. And when he had broken Sakura's heart, Tsunade added to herself.
The Uchiha didn't answer, typical of him, but instead thrown a suspiciously maroon-streaked bundle in her ink-stained desk. The content of the bag rolled out of it, and Tsunade almost fell off her chair as she abruptly stood up, away from the desk. She blanched.
There, staring at her, was Orochimaru's bloody decomposing head.
"Is this reason enough?" The young man asked, smirking, as he thought how pathetic the woman was, when a Hokage should be fearless.
Tsunade calmed her breathing and nodded. "At least I am sure that you are not here to spy on the village for Sound."
And he replied a noncommittal, "Hn."
If that didn't irritate Tsunade, the next scenes most definitely would. She had given him probation lasting one hundred eighty days, or six months, and told him that he would be under Hatake Kakashi's custody for the duration of his punishment. She had told him to find his former sensei and dismissed him then, but he had asked for his hitae-ate. Tsunade denied him of that, saying that she doesn't trust him yet fully, and that there's no need for that since he wouldn't be given missions on the outside of Konoha anyway.
"I don't need your trust. And you will need my skills on missions."
Insolence was something Tsunade hates with a vengeance. Her day was already bad with the ink and all, and this brat was making it worse. Why, he should be grateful that she hadn't sent him to execution! The village council wants him executed the moment he steps foot in Konoha, and she was here, accepting the boy, causing her to have a future appointment and argument with the elders.
"True. But I still must make sure you wouldn't try to escape again." Tsunade said, her tone firm.
Orochimaru was right. The Hokage of Konoha was indeed an idiot. With her appearance, he was sure. Who the hell was stupid enough to have ink marks on their faces? By the look of the ink on her face, she must've laid her head on the desk—he noticed that the desk was ink-stained. Sasuke scoffed, "That's stupid. What's the point of returning willingly and then escaping afterwards?"
He had a point. But the way he said it was unacceptable. This runt had the gall to even argue with her, and imply that she was stupid! She's the Godaime Hokage of the most powerful village in the country of Fire, she wouldn't let this insolent brat talk to her like that! Her word is LAW. And she would make sure he knows that.
"Uchiha Sasuke, you are going to do what I am telling you or I will tie your bloody ass up in the middle of the City Square for all your fangirls to grope."
Sasuke shuddered inwardly at the thought of him tied in an open area with rabid females attacking him. He'd rather fall defeat in the hands of Naruto than to experience that.
"..."
Tsunade smiled mischievously. "Oh, and another thing, so as to make use of your time," she paused to sit at her chair. "You are to do at D-rank missions on a daily basis during your 180 days. We wouldn't want you to get bored doing nothing, now would we?" She said, smile still in place.
Sasuke fought the urge to snarl. D-rank? What could possibly be more degrading that that? He killed Orochimaru, for heaven's sakes, and what else does this woman want him to do, repent on a temple for his sins? "Hn."
"Report to Iruka at the academy in an hour. He'll be the one to assist you." She was answered with another silence. Tsunade leaned back on her chair. "Am I clear?"
"Crystal."
She dismissed him then, and he was gone in a cloud of smoke. She relaxed in her chair, closed her eyes and raised her legs on the desk. Her knees had squished something, and she felt something oozing on her legs.
Blood.
She had forgotten that Orochimaru's head was there! She fell backwards in her chair, scrambling away from the table as far away as she can. That bastard Uchiha! Why didn't he bring it with him when he went out and thrown it somewhere himself!
"Shizune!"
- - - - - -
Iruka knew that anyone would prefer quick death than slow torture.
He was feeling pity and worry over Uchiha Sasuke right now. What the Uchiha doesn't know is that, he is going to be subjected to the worst possible mental torture ever existed in Shinobi history.
Sasuke would prefer to have his head chopped off.
Umino Iruka and Hatake Kakashi were summoned to the Hokage's office to discuss Uchiha Sasuke's punishment. And the men were starting to question their Hokage's sanity. First, they came in to see the woman having ink marks on her skin. And good god, on her hair too! She must've been sleeping on the job again. Then secondly, she was spouting contradictories. She was saying that she decided not to send the Uchiha to execution since he was the only Uchiha left, as Itachi was already dead, by his brother's hands, she did not know. Then she was saying that she's going to give Sasuke the punishment he deserves—D-ranks with that man? She wanted Sasuke alive but she was going to kill him with what she's going to do.
The punishment she gave was almost equal to garrote, or even worse.
"Don't you think that's a bit extreme, Tsunade-sama?" Iruka said. "A sane Sasuke is already dangerous, what more if he turns insane?"
Tsunade shrugged him off. "Nah, he can handle it, he's an Uchiha after all—they're immune to mindfuck." she laughed. "And besides, he managed to keep that sanity intact while living with Orochimaru for five years."
Kakashi pocketed his book. "You're underestimating Gai, Tsunade-sama. I tell you, he's crazy."
"Exactly the reason why I chose him."
- - - - - -
As Uchiha Sasuke went out the Hokage tower, the first thing he did was to find Naruto. And found him he did. In Ichiraku, eating ramen. He was sure that the blond would be ecstatic to see him. He hoped that Sakura was with Naruto, so he wouldn't need to ask about her.
That was entirely the reason why he came back. To see Sakura again.
Loneliness nagged at him in the last five years. When they were genins, he was already attracted to her. But he didn't show it. He thought that Sakura was nothing more than a passing fancy, and he'll get over her once he drowns himself in training under the snake sannin.
But he was wrong.
Everything reminds him of her. Even in his dreams, her memories haunted him. Little by little, he realizes that he was in love with her. And he decided then that after he completes his revenge, he would return to Konoha.
Then the day of confrontation came, and he claimed victory with all his might, successfully ending the life of his only living relative. Orochimaru had heard of his plans, and refused to let the young man go, as he wanted to have the Uchiha's body for his own. Sasuke had no use for Orochimaru, so he killed him along with the whole village of Sound.
He again thought of Sakura. He imagined her to have grown into a strong and beautiful kunoichi—no, even if she isn't beautiful, he still loves her. It had been ingrained in his head that there would be no other woman for him other than her. He just wishes that she's still keeping that promise of hers, that she'll wait for him.
"Ossan, another bowl please!"
He smirked. The dobe was still loud as ever. He sat beside him in one of the stools, his head bowed down slightly so his face was hidden behind his hair, and noted the changes in the young man in the corner of his eye. Naruto was still wearing orange, a printed T-shirt under the standard multi-pocketed vest. His wild blond hair was slightly longer, making the similarity of his appearance with the late Yondaime uncanny. Then Sasuke had a ridiculous feeling—he was suddenly feeling self-conscious. Naruto surely had improved in the looks department—it was proven by the looks the females were giving him.
But is the improvement that much that Sasuke was struck with the entirely foreign feeling of insecurity?
Nah, impossible. No one had ever fared with Uchiha Sasuke when it comes to physical appearance—err, except his brother, that is—and he was not about to lose that to the dobe. Damn if he did.
He blinked. The hunger from travelling was getting into his head. What the hell was he thinking, comparing Naruto to himself?
Ayame, the Ichiraku waitress, approached Sasuke and took his order.
"Miso with tomatoes."
- - - - - -
Naruto had been observing the fellow that was seated beside him. The guy was oddly familiar. But most of Naruto's friends are ninjas, and the man was not wearing a hitae-ate, so the guy must've just looked like someone he knew.
"Miso with tomatoes."
He heard the guy order to Ayame, and he was reminded of Sasuke. He wondered how that stuffy tomodachi of his was doing now. Had he already killed his brother? Naruto wished he did, and hoped that after he does, he would return to Konoha. God knows how Sakura had missed him.
"Ayame-chan, another bowl please!"
He placed his ninth bowl down and waited for the next serving. He leaned his elbows on the counter and cradled his head on his hands. He also missed that Uchiha of course, but it would never match up to how Sakura had been longing to see the boy again. Maybe he should ask Baa-chan to give him another mission to find Sasuke and—
"You eat like a pig."
Naruto blinked and turned his head to the guy seated at his left. "Are you talking to me?"
"What do you think?" the gray-clad man said, not even facing the blond. Sasuke wants to see how Naruto would react once he realizes that the Uchiha was back and was talking to him. And he missed getting on his nerves, so why not try a little insulting? It was his forte anyway.
Naruto realized that indeed, the guy was talking to him. And only him, since they were the only ones seated on the tall stools.
Why that—!
How dare this bastard talk to him like that! "The hell's your problem, my way of eating doesn't concern you!"
"Who says I'm concerned?"
Naruto raised a shaking fist. This guy was testing his patience. The bastard knew that that wasn't what they're talking about! The guy was just like Sasuke-teme, he had struck a nerve in just two short sentences. He missed Sasuke even more. And it made him angrier. "You know what I meant, and look at me when I'm talking to you, you teme!"
It was fun to think that the guy was actually Sasuke. He eats the Uchiha's favorite food, he talks like him, and he actually has the same shade of hair as Sasuke.
Naruto should've figured out it was Sasuke that's sitting beside him. But Naruto being Naruto, with almost non-existent observation skills, he didn't.
Then the guy stood up, still not facing him. "Fine. Dobe." Sasuke said, with stressed emphasis.
What the hell? He had no right to call Naruto that! In fact, only one person can call him that! No, actually, only one person calls him that!
Then Sasuke turned to face him.
Naruto blinked. And blinked and blinked and blinked. He raised a shaky finger and pointed it to the man he considered friend and family.
"S-Sasuke?"
The man smirked. Naruto's expression was priceless, his mouth was agape and blue eyes almost bulged out of its sockets. "No other."
Sasuke thought that Naruto would shout at him with something along the lines of, 'Sasuke-teme, about time you returned!' or, 'How was hell?' but he never, NEVER expected that Naruto would jump at him and hug him. HUG HIM! Oh, for Kami's sake.
"Sasuke-teme! Welcome back you selfish bastard!" Naruto exclaimed, embracing the Uchiha while jumping up and down.
The blond was obviously overjoyed. Who would've thought that the guy whom he was imagining Sasuke was actually Sasuke!
Air was knocked out of Sasuke's lungs. The poor guy was turning pale. And the fact that Naruto was jumping and swinging him around was not helping. Naruto's body was large and muscular, similar to that of a street brawler. While Sasuke's was toned and lean, but all steel, and built for speed.
The scene was hilarious. It was like Sasuke was a rag doll being cradled in the arms of Naruto, his feet was hanging on air. Naruto was taller than Sasuke, a towering six-foot-four embracing a six-foot-two. Sasuke had every right to suffocate.
"B-baka, let g-go." Sasuke said, with difficulty.
"Nuh-uh, I ain't lettin' go of ya! I missed you, Sasuke-teme!" Naruto spun around. He was oblivious to the fact that he was choking Sasuke.
"D-dobe..."
Naruto gazed down at his friend, "Yeah, teme?"
"C-can't...breathe..."
Oh.
With that said, Naruto immediately released his long lost brother. He scratched the back of his blond head, watching Sasuke as the Uchiha leant on the wall for support, inhaling sharp, deep breaths. He was becoming slightly dizzy from the temporary oxygen loss.
"Sorry 'bout that, Sasuke-teme," Naruto smiled sheepishly, "I got caught in the moment."
The Uchiha glared at him. "Baka."
The two sat back down as their orders came in, and Naruto started to story-tell everything about anything inside Konoha, purposely avoiding to discuss Sakura, much to the disappointment of the dark-haired teen.
Naruto was talking about his training with Jiraiya and his placement in ANBU when the head cook of the Ichiraku, Ayame's father, approached them and had voiced out his recognition of Uchiha Sasuke.
Before Sasuke could regard the man, Naruto had beat him into it, "Yeah, it's definitely Sasuke-teme alright! He decided to come back because he got tired of that sick snake wacko crawling up in his bed every night!"
A loud, cannon-like bang was heard as Naruto's head was slammed into the wooden counter, breaking it.
- - - - - -
Naruto and Sasuke were walking along the streets of downtown Konoha.
Naruto was informed of Sasuke's punishment, and was still amused by the fact that his almighty friend was reduced to doing menial tasks such as D-rank missions. And he was given a 180-day probation! How boring can that be? No missions, no out of town excursions...
And he was going to bunk in with the Hatake couple!
He had laughed out loud at that. He was completely aware that Kakashi's wife was like a feline in heat, screaming her head off in their coupling nights. Naruto lives next door, and there were no other neighbors in that particular floor of that apartment complex since Kurenai was really one hell of a screamer, it forced the tenants to move. Naruto had put up soundproof walls, so there's no reason at all for him to move out.
Naruto had told the apartment issues to Sasuke, and he pitied his friend, though he was still amused. It was expected that Sasuke would have 180 nights of live nightmare.
"I'll just sleep outside when there's noise."
"Then you're going to be sleeping outside for the rest of your six month cage-in," Naruto said, "Better buy a tent."
Sasuke nodded and thought about it. If what the dobe said was true, then he would be buying one.
Naruto realized that he was the one story telling the entire time they had gone out from Ichiraku. Sasuke should at least be telling him something right now! Well, it is Sasuke we're talking about, so Naruto had asked the Uchiha himself. "Ne, Sasuke-teme, how was life with Oro-chan?"
Sasuke glared at him. It was not like it was something pleasant that they should talk about it. What's the point? The snake's dead anyway. When he didn't respond, Naruto said, "Feh, bet I'm right that he crawls on your bed."
The Uchiha was tempted to strangle the annoying blond. "Do you want to have a broken neck?"
Naruto grinned and placed his hands behind his head. "Nope. Thanks for the offer."
- - - - - -
Sasuke was beyond furious.
They have gone to the academy to see Iruka, and had just been informed that aside from doing those humiliating D-ranks, he was going to be training with the most retarded pair to ever walk this face of the planet. He was actually thinking about going to the Hokage and asking her to just execute him, so that he would not be subjected to this idiocy. He was starting to regret returning to Konoha...
Then Sakura came to his mind.
Damn woman. His feelings for her would lead to his insanity.
Che, as if he wasn't starting to go crazy with just the mere thought of the pink-haired woman. What more could add to this torture? Another name popped into his mind.
Hatake Kurenai.
The woman had run up to him and glomped him the moment he had entered the door, regarding him as her teenage son. And he was even forced to call her mom. His own mother, Uchiha Mikoto, for formality's sake, hadn't had the luxury of being called something as familiar as mom, for crying out loud!
Was this what Konoha had been doing in the five years that he had gone? Filling up the entire village with crazy people?
Sasuke must've been emitting such a highly murderous aura that the plants at the ground they're standing on were starting to wilt. But Naruto was unfazed, as if he was used to this deadly surrounding his friend was starting to create.
"It's not that bad, Sasuke-teme,"
Sasuke snarled. It's not that bad? IT'S NOT THAT BAD?! Easy for the dobe to say. He was going to be fucking training with those bloody bowl-cut haired, spandex-clad, fuzzy-browed freaks! Hasn't Naruto thought of the extent of it? He could barely tolerate the sight of them, and now he was STUCK with them? Mother fucking hell.
"Well, I think it's better than death penalty, man."
With freaks as training partners, and a retard as a foster mother, Sasuke had every right to think otherwise. "I'd prefer to be hanged upside down with my innards hanging out."
"Oh come on, cool down," Naruto placed an arm around Sasuke. "Let's just go see Sakura-chan, she'll be very happy to see you."
The anger within Sasuke subsided with the mention of the girl's name. A blush swept his features with the thought of her overjoyed to see him, and hugging her. Then the blush faded, gone as it came, like a bubble.
Naruto noticed his friend's sudden change of mood. And his split-second blush. He grinned, eyes gleaming with mischief. "On second thought, maybe it's not a good idea," Naruto pretended to think about it, observing his companion from the corner of his eye.
Sasuke furrowed his eyebrows. Why the hell is it not a good idea? He'd been looking forward into seeing her for five bloody years!
Naruto noticed his agitation. Ho ho. Maybe he was right all along! This is perfect! Maybe it's the reason the bastard came back...
...Of course!
Now that Sasuke's first goal was completed, his next one should be fulfilled. And there isn't any other woman in this world that Sasuke would think about in doing it with than the sweet, sweet Sakura-chan!
"We should just go to Kakashi's place, so you could get settled in," Naruto suggested, "Or... we could go see your hime. Sasuke-ouji-sama."
Sasuke turned his head to the left to face Naruto, whose arm was still around his shoulders. He removed the arm from his shoulder and said, "What the hell are you talking about?"
Naruto shrugged and grinned widely at Sasuke. "Oh, I don't know...but I know you know,"
Sasuke only continued to stare at Naruto. Is it possible that the dobe knows? Impossible. Not even Sasuke himself had discovered his feelings until he was already in Sound.
Naruto took that silence as a cue to continue talking. It was clear that Sasuke was keeping it, and is not planning to tell even Naruto—which he should, since they are best friends. "Och, so since you weren't going to say anything, I should be telling Lee that he can now try and court Sakura-chan," Naruto sighed at this point, "It seems that my efforts are only going to be put to waste." Naruto turned to walk, but Sasuke grabbed him back.
"What efforts?"
It seemed like Sasuke misunderstood. He thought that Naruto was hitting on Sakura before, but to no avail. But what Naruto meant was that, he was actually preventing any guy from coming near to Sakura, as he was waiting for Sasuke to return, and Naruto was going to let only Sasuke to get past through him and to Sakura.
"Well, I've tried to barricade Sakura, so guys wouldn't dare try to be near her, and since someone—that someone I've been saving Sakura for—was still being a stuffy wretch, I think I should open the gates and let those guys get Sakura-chan, I wouldn't want her to die being single."
Sasuke got what Naruto had said, and the entire context of his speech. He smirked. So the dobe was guarding Sakura for him? How thoughtful of the idiot. He shook his head in amusement and asked, "Dobe, how'd you know?" There's no point in keeping it from Naruto, he clearly knows it already.
"I ain't your best friend for nothing, teme," Naruto grinned again, "I can perfectly read what's going on in that over-inflated scone you call a head."
Sasuke chuckled. Naruto was clearly the brother he had always wanted. "You still didn't say how you knew."
Naruto gave him a look. Well, at least Sasuke was loosening up and not denying anything about it. "Our mission in mist. Remember that?"
It was on that mission that Naruto had realized that Sakura's love is not one-sided. Why else would Sasuke risk his life to save Sakura when he was announcing to the world that he doesn't care about anything? And it was not only in that mission, mind you, in every mission they've been given, Sasuke was always on Sakura's side, protecting her with his life. Though he told her that she was incompetent and was a burden, he had enjoyed the feeling of being the one protecting her. Well, Sasuke hasn't realized the true extent of those feelings yet in those days.
"Aa."
"You were such a show-off back then," Naruto grinned. "It was too bad that Sakura-chan didn't realize you were doing so for her. She might have fainted in happiness at the thought."
- - - - - -