A/N: I'm so freaking sorry!!! Anyways, here's another chapter that took me far to long to get started on.

(Back to Remus's POV)

I can feel the fear within me. I try to hide it, pretend that I don't care. But I know he's out there, biding his time. Sometimes, as I lie awake at night, not wanting to sleep for fear of my nightmares, I can feel his hands on me.

I feel dirty.

Sirius makes bold promises, and I want to believe him. I wish I could believe him. He says he'll keep me safe, that he won't let him get me. Won't let him have me.

He's so close. Every few days or so, I read another article about the mysterious slaughter of animals. The reports make a circle around Hogwarts. He's telling me I can't run, he has me surrounded. I thought I was safe at Hogwarts, but he got to me before.

He'll get me again. It's only a matter of time before he has his hands on me once more.

I shudder at the thought and try to do my homework. I try and keep up the façade of normalcy. I don't want Sirius to worry about me.

It's been a few days, and the onslaught of reports has ceased. I don't know what that means. Sirius is hopeful. He thinks I'll be safe. But that night as I try and stay awake, I'm flooded by memories of cold hands, a hot tongue and harsh words about hard cocks. I fall asleep with those memories on the surface of my mind, and it's all I dream about.

I try to lose myself in other thoughts, thoughts of being with Sirius. I create fantasies in my mind where nothing exists but me and him. There is no evil, no darkness. At first I thought nothing could ever be between the two of us. After all, it was only the spell that made him attracted to me right? But then he kissed me. You don't kiss someone like that if you don't want them.

Sirius wants me. And I want him. It's too perfect really. It would solve everything.

I just have to get the timing right. I can't have Peter or James interfering. My injuries are almost healed, so Sirius won't have that excuse to stop. I need them to be gone from the room for a period of time, or I need to find another place to be with Sirius. An idea pops into my head, and it sounds rather despicable, even in my own head. It's even a bit sleazy really. I think Sirius would appreciate it. I'm going to get us a room, just for the day, on our next Hogsmeade visit.

Getting the room will be easy enough. It's a simple thing to send an owl over with a room request. I'll pay for the room in advance too. Every inn in Hogsmeade gets plenty of Hogwart's students who want rooms, but most don't actually want to pay for them. The inns, as a result, have pretty much stopped catering to students. However, if I pay in advance, and pay a little extra, I should have no problems.

The real trick is going to be not only getting Sirius to the room, but making sure James and Peter are occupied so they won't wonder where we are.

I grab my quill and some parchment. I might as well get the easy part over with.

The next few days, my mood is much brighter. I'm fairly certain Sirius thinks I've stopped worrying now that the animal attacks have stopped. I worry still. But now that I found a solution, I won't be worrying for long. Hogsmeade trip in one week. One week until security. One week until bliss.

And then the best thing happened. A new joke shop is opening that very same weekend. A manage to score two premium passes to the shop: one for James and one for Peter. Naturally, I don't let them know I was the one who got the passes. I also make sure only James and Peter can use them. I don't want Peter giving in to pressure from Sirius to get one. Sirius looks genuinely unhappy that he didn't get one, but I'll make it up to him.

Four days until Hogsmeade. I still haven't determined how I'm going to get Sirius into the room. On the bright side, I'm all healed. No more bruises, cuts, scrapes, or sprains. Sirius can't stop now. He used my injuries as an excuse to not be with me, but he can't any longer. I'm healed, I'm fit, and I'm ready.

Three days until Hogsmeade. I've simply determined that I will just grab Sirius and tell him to follow me. Then I'll lead him up to the room. He won't see it coming. He'll follow me, and he won't realize where we are until we are there. The inn has a back staircase. We'll use that one. I'll check in earlier in the day.

Two days until Hogsmeade. I'm so excited I can barely contain myself. Over and over I create fantasies about what will happen with Sirius. I'm moving through the hours in a blur of lust and eagerness and hope that soon everything will be better, soon, everything will be perfect.

Hogsmeade tomorrow. I've received my room confirmation. The owl came during breakfast and it broke my heart to hide it from Sirius. But I didn't want him knowing what I had planned.

That night, I can't sleep. My skin is crawling with anticipation. All I can think about is Sirius. I feel hot and flushed and excited. I can't remember the last time I was so hard, but I don't touch myself. I want Sirius to. I want to come over and over again because of what he will do to me. Unfortunately, I can't walk around with a hard on all day, so just before dawn I give up, get out of bed and make my way to the bathroom.

A few hours later, James and Peter are off to the new joke shop. Sirius looks longingly after them, but I will make it up to him. I grab his hand in mine. He looks down, startled. I haven't so much as brushed against him since the day we kissed in the empty classroom. I smile slightly.

"Come with me," I whisper, and tug at his hand. He has no choice really, but he follows me. I have the key to the room already. I checked while Sirius was busy with James at the Quidditch shop. I pull him into an alley towards the back stairs. He doesn't know what the building is, but he doesn't try to stop me or slow down. I practically drag him up the stairs, and my hands are shaking so bad I can barely open the door. I can see realization dawning on Sirius's face, but before he can say anything, I open the door, drag Sirius inside, slam the door shut and press Sirius against it.

His eyes are wide with shock, his mouth slightly open. That delicious, wonderful mouth. I can't help it any longer, and I kiss him. He doesn't kiss me back. I pull away from him, frowning.

"Sirius, what's the matter?"

"What are we doing here?"

"I think that's pretty obvious." I go to kiss him again, and he stops me with a hand on my chest.

"Moony, I don't think we should be doing this right now."

I swallow thickly; his eyes follow the motion of my throat. I take a step in towards him. He doesn't move his hand from my chest.

"And why not?" I ask. "My injuries are healed, we're alone, no one can interrupt us. I want this." I pause. "And I know you want this." My eyes travel down towards his obvious erection.

"I just," he pauses as I press myself into him. "I just think after what happened…when you…and that monster…"

I put my hand over his mouth.

"Don't talk about him. This has nothing to do with him. This is about you and me. Now are you gonna shut up and kiss me or keep yammering on about him?" I slowly remove my hand. Sirius licks his lips and I shudder. I want him so bad. I need him. I need him to fuck me, to ruin me. Because if he does, then Greyback won't want me any longer. It's only too late I realize I was speaking my thoughts out loud. Sirius's eyes widen in horror.

"Is that why you want this? Want me? So Greyback won't?" Sirius struggles to get away. But I don't let him move from against the door.

"Look, the reason why I want this might be a little complicated, but that doesn't mean I don't want you. I do! For fuck's sake, feel how much I want this!" I grab his hand and place it against me. There is no mistake. I want this, and Sirius hand against me, even if he didn't put it there almost makes me come.

Sirius groans slightly, his hand beginning to move. I immediately latch my lips onto his, arching myself into him. His hands leave me and I whimper slightly, but he only is removing my belt.

There is no stopping this now.

A/N: I am such a tease...but reviews feed me and make me nicer!!!! Maybe I won't wait half a year to rediscover this story!!!!