(Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me. I wish it did though. It's all Kishimoto's fault. Not really, I love the guy.)

Chapter 1

The night was like so many others: silent, dark, and, most importantly, desolate. The only difference was that there was a weary traveler wandering about the empty streets. He was hungry. No, starving. Nearly to death. There were only two simple words that filled his mind: FOOD. MISSION.

The man wore something that looked like a black, torn-up sweater, mostly ripped in the back, which made it look almost like a halter-top. His faded jeans were also equally ruined, mostly with what looked like blood. He wore a black bandanna which covered his entire head, and a face-mask that hid half his face. His gray mask was also smeared with droplets of crimson. His eyes were half closed from exhaustion, but you could still tell that the color coordination was rather odd. His irises was bright green while the rest were dark brown. Bluntly said, he was strange.

Taking slow and steady strides (with the occasional tangling of the legs), the man saw a lifeless church at the end of the wide, stone street.

"Finally..." The masked man muttered under his breath. His pace slightly quickened, but suddenly slowed when he felt all his muscles failing him...again. "Oh, for the love of...damn it," he growled, "just a few paces away..." Then, he felt his whole body crumble into the stone street. The church faded away, along with his strength.

Food...mission... The man's mind went pitch black.

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"Aaaaaah...Great! I don't think I've slept that well in a LONG long time!" A young priest stretched and yawned as he got up from the circle of blood, pulling out the long black staff that seemed to have pierced his heart. "I should get Jashin-sama's sacrifices more often," he chuckled to himself.

The priest had his silver hair pulled back, making his wide forehead completely visible. His black, button-down priest wear was soaked with his blood that had poured out of his chest, which seemed to be healed now. He wore a black, beaded necklace which had a circle with a triangle in it, which was the same shape that was painted on the bloodied marble floor. Besides the hole in the heart of his coat and the trickle of dried blood down on his jawline, he looked perfectly fine.

"Might as well leave now." The priest strode away from the bloody religious circle and walked toward the tall, wooden doors. At the same time, he attempted to rub the dried blood off his face, but only made it worse by smearing it on his left cheek. I really need a mirror...and a bar of soap, he thought to himself in frustration. His hands lightly pushed the broken doors open as it swung outward into the empty streets. Well, almost empty.

What the...? The silver haired man rubbed his eyes to see a figure that looked like a man lying on the ground on his side, out cold. He leaped from the stone steps of the church and strode towards the unconscious man. He was surprised to find that the back of the man's sweater was ripped open, and was even more surprised to find hundreds of thick black stitches covering the man's bloodied back.

"...the hell happened to you?" The priest whispered to the other man. As expected, he got no reply. He looked around to see if anybody else was either watching them or also laying about. As expected again, nobody. He turned his head back to the masked man.

"Yo, hello? You alive there?" He leaned down towards the man's face and listened for any sign of breathing. He couldn't hear anything because of his mask, though. He frowned and sat up, rolling the man's body over so he would face the sky. He tried to look for signs of life by pressing his ear on the man's chest this time. He was somewhat relieved to hear steady beatings of his heart...or two hearts? The priest furrowed his brows in confusion. Huh?

Th-thump th-thump th-th-thump th-th-th-thump th-th-thump...

The odd rhythm of the masked man's heart was creeping the priest out. Oooookay...that is really weird...

Then suddenly, he heard something else that sounded nothing like a beating heart.

A growl. A very LOUD growl.

His head jolted up, alarmed. But there was nothing in sight but an empty street. Then, the silver haired man realized it almost sounded like...an empty stomach. He confirmed it when a second growl came from the middle regions of the other man's torso. The priest chuckled, "So, I've got company tonight, eh?"

He lifted the stranger, took his arm and swung it around his neck, taking his other hand to hold on to the man's hip for support. As he dragged the man into the empty streets, he muttered something that sounded like, "Dude, lose some hundred pounds."

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"Your mission is to find a new parter, Kakuzu. You've already killed three of our members because of your own cursed temper, and I'm tired of providing you with new ones every month."

"Leader, you know, I think I should go on solo missions and not parter up with anybody. You know I'm bound to kill all them anyway, so why bother?"

"Because where your going, your going to find the perfect partner."

Kakuzu slowly awoke from his dream, expecting to find the same stone street on his face and his whole body aching. His body tensed as he waited. But no pain came. As he became more aware of his surroundings, he found himself in a futon-bed, staring at a wooden ceiling, and completely vulnerable. He was alarmed instantly.

Where the---before the confused man finished his thought, the ceiling was replaced with a face. His eyes widened in shock, but he didn't, no, couldn't move or speak.

"Mornin' Sleeping Beauty, got your good night's sleep?" The silver haired face grinned and disappeared from view. Kakuzu, even more awake and aware, sat up and found his arms and torso wrapped in clean bandages, all covering his scars obtained from the incident before, plus the ones he already had. His gray mask was replaced with a white scarf, but his bandanna stayed. He turned to look at the other man who was busily taking out cardboard boxes from the closet, opening, examining, and closing each one, searching for something. His silvery hair was tied up into a tiny ponytail to get it out of his face, which was quite pointless because, slowly but surely, little strands of hair was falling onto his face.

"What are you doing?" Kakuzu asked, curiosity getting to him. The silver haired man turned his head, the grin still plastered to his face.

"I'm looking for some clothes that might fit you. Your kinda big, so my clothes won't fit ya." He shrugged, "Not that that's a bad thing, but I don't think you'd wanna roam around with the 'halter-top' (referring to his previous clothes) or in that," he pointed at Kakuzu's bandages, "just to be called 'mummy-man', or something along that line." He chuckled and continued. "By the way, my name's Hidan. I'm a priest and a member of the Jashin sect. What's yours?" Kakuzu's eyes thinned slightly at the word "Jashin". So, this is the guy that Leader was talking about...

"My name's Kakuzu. I'm part of the Akatsuki organization," he replied. Hidan's grin widened.

"Nice to meet ya Kakuzu," he held out a hand, "'twas nice carrying you back home." Kakuzu's face turned slightly pink in embarrassment.

"Sorry...about that...And thank you." Attempting to hide his face with his left hand, he held out his right and shook Hidan's.

"Akatsuki, eh? Never heard of that one before," Hidan said thoughtfully, "is it new?"

"Mostly," Kakuzu replied simply. With a slight humph, Hidan returned searching for clothes. That's when both men heard the inevitable

GRRROWLLLLL...

Hidan froze and his head turned slowly to face Kakuzu with eyes the size of dinner plates, while Kakuzu snapped his away trying to hide his beet-red face of humiliation. The corners of the priest's mouth twitched in order to hold in the burst of laughter building inside him. The masked man wanted to crawl inside a hole if there was one.

"I see you're hungry."

"...yeah."

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Kokage Village was a small, deserted village that seemed to have been abandoned for some time. Most homes and shops had either signs of fire or giant holes made by powerful forces of over-sized weaponry. The only buildings intact were the orphanage, one vegetable stand , and a church. One would think there was a massacre that went on in the peaceful, innocent village, but in reality, the village used to be a trap for wandering, hungry missing-nins. They would also believe that all the citizens in the village were just local farmers, but in truth, they were blood-thirsty killers waiting for their prey to hop in their mouths. All the villagers, men, women, elder, and even children, were fully-trained hunter-nins. But, they only did this for one good reason: to live. The people lived on the bounty money placed on the missing ninjas, which varied from twenty thousand-yen (approximately $200) to over one million-yen (you can guess how much). They were never prosperous, but still lived fairly good lives.

Until they came.

Two men, both wearing bamboo hats and black cloaks with red cloud designs on them, appeared at the gates of the village. One was a short, young man with long black hair that was tied in the back. His hat was over his eyes, but people could still see the blood-red eyes peeking through the shadows. The other was a rather tall man, wielding a large sword wrapped in white cloth. When he spoke, the listeners watched his teeth, pointed as a shark's.

Whoever recognized them would regret have ever even touching their Bingo-Book.

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"...Sorry Kakuzu, that was the only thing I could find that might fit ya."

"...Right," Kakuzu's voice had a hint of sarcasm. He stared at the lime-green T-shirt which had a giant pink heart with a pink teddy-bear with a rainbow on it's stomach. His eyes twitched at both the color and the design.

"Your kidding, right?" he asked hopefully.

"'Course not," Hidan replied with a smile, "it was my Auntie's. She was a big Dare Bear fan, and...well, she was quite big herself." The priest snickered while Kakuzu continued to let his eyes twitch at the thought of wearing a shirt with a pink bear saying "I need a HUG". Kakuzu started to wish the words actually said "I need to PUNCH", for that's exactly what he wanted to do to the silver-haired man's Auntie right at that moment. Her obsession and size has forced the poor, clothing deprived man to wear an embarrassing Dare Bear T-shirt that might as well mentally scar him for life. Maybe even physically, if he got lucky.

Kakuzu sighed. "Hey Hidan?"

"Yeah?"

"I can keep my pants, right?"

"'Course not."

"...What?!"

Hidan laughed.

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Author: Whew! Finally, I uploaded SOMETHING for once in my lifetime...Anyway, my first Naruto fic...I believe...oh well, anyway, comment please! (and please be nice...Mee-chan can't handle harsh words...) Obviously, I'm not a very skilled writer...grargh. Gimmie some advice for...well, writing stories, and some ideas for the next chapter, I can't think at ALL...nyegh. Oh, and THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING! ...Oh crap, I forgot to feed Kakuzu. I guess I'll do that in the next chapter then.

Kakuzu: I'm starving to death here you damned...thing! FEED ME!!!

Author: Well, I can't help it if I'm too lazy to write!

Kakuzu: This thing can't write...I should kill it

Author: NYEGH! DON'T KILL ME!

Hidan: That's not nice Kakuzu

Author: Hidan...!

Hidan: It should be sacrificed for Jashin-sama!

Author: THAT'S EVEN WORSE! GYAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!!

EDIT (Once again): 'Catachresis' told me that Kakuzu's eyes were actually green and brown, not inverted black and white, so Mee-chan fixed it. Now I don't feel left out and confused! THANK YOU!!!