13.

"So what's the plan?"

Lily turned over in her bed, trying to ignore Dorcas as she climbed on beside her. "I dunno," she replied sulkily. "It's too early; leave me alone."

Dorcas could not be disturbed by the cold morning greeting, making herself comfortable beneath the duvet. "Yes, but I know you haven't slept a wink thinking about it," she said knowingly, playing with Lily's hair on the pillow. "Come on, lets get dressed; I'll help you find James."

"He doesn't want to see me."

"Course he does; he loves you, doesn't he?"

"I wouldn't be so sure." Lily had been dwelling on the fact al night. I hate you. That's what he had said to her. I hate you.

Dorcas sighed heavily and Lily turned herself over revealing her puffy eyes. "Oh Lily, you really didn't sleep at all did you?"

A wave of emotion passed over Lily on seeing her friend's pitiful reaction and she felt herself breaking down without her consent. Dorcas pulled her into a hug as Lily hid her face in the pillow and sobbed quietly. Somehow she'd managed to hold off all night on the crying, too busy staring at the ceiling but seeing nothing but James' face the moment before he walked out on her.

"Aww, don't cry. What's the matter?" Dorcas added, rubbing her back gently.

Lily lifted her head from the pillow, looking at her friend incredulously. What was the matter? Like it wasn't obvious enough? "He hates me!"

"Shh, you'll wake the others."

"I don't care!"

Dorcas actually laughed a little and Lily hid her face again. She didn't take kindly to being ridiculed when her heart was breaking.

"Don't be so silly," Dorcas told her, trying and failing to make Lily look her in the eye again. "Look Lily," she huffed, giving up on pulling the pillow away. "People don't fall out of love just like that, all right? Have you been upsetting yourself all night thinking he doesn't want to see you again or something?" Lily's silence was enough to confirm Dorcas' suspicions. "I thought you didn't want James to love you anyway; why get yourself all worked up over it?" Again, Lily's silence spoke for her. Dorcas only hugged her tighter.

The majority of partygoers were sleeping off hangovers and it was no surprise that many of the sixth and seventh years didn't emerge from their dorms and common rooms until long after lunch. Lily wasn't sure if the Marauder's absence was hangover induced or due to the fact that they were purposely ignoring her. She sat with Dorcas and Emmeline by the fire until after three, contemplating what she might say to James if he finally came down, but mostly they lounged about in thoughtful silence with Lily feeling sorry for herself. Finally Emmeline declared that she couldn't take it anymore and insisted they at least go for a walk.

It was a bad idea.

"Lily!"

She cringed, turning her back on the caller as though stupidly thinking he would not recognise her this way. Dorcas and Emmeline shared worried looks but his heavy footsteps retreated all of a sudden and Lily turned to see John hurrying back around a corner as a new voice made itself heard.

"Miss Evans, my office if you please." Lily had never been more relieved to have McGonagall breathing down her neck. "Don't think I can't see you Mr Willis," she added shrilly. "Follow me." Lily had got to know the Professor well since her appointment as Prefect back in fifth year and more so as Head Girl. She was miffed about something – it was in the precise tone of her voice and the flare of her nostrils. She was in trouble and so was John. The teachers knew about the party – or at least the fight.

Dorcas and Emmeline gave subtle waves as the Professor turned on her heel, marching the way down to her office. Lily turned to follow, but not before spying John emerge from behind his corner, jogging a little to catch up. He fell into step with her and Lily could sense him trying to catch her gaze. At one point she noticed him trying to take her hand but she folded her arms tight across her chest, ignoring him as best she could until they came to a stop outside the office and Lily was ushered inside. John was ordered to wait in the hall and they made brief eye contact before the door was closed. It was odd to see him looking truly sorry.

The Professor crossed her path, moving to her desk, and having been in this office so many times before for meetings Lily didn't not wait for an invite, taking a seat in the opposite chair. The Professor took a moment before speaking to retrieve a tartan tin from the draw of her desk, removing the lid and placing it in the centre. Lily helped herself to a Ginger Newt as did the Professor and the two women took a moment of silence as they crunched their way through the treats in thought.

"Anything to say for yourself?"

Lily sighed, wiping away a few crumbs on the back of her hand as she leaned her elbows on the desk. She wasn't actually sure why she was in trouble - because of the party or because she was at the centre of the dispute between James and John. Considering John was waiting outside she hoped for the latter. "There wasn't a lot I could do, really. John pulled his wand on James then James said something stupid so John clobbered him one. I really don't-"

"I've asked John Willis here on another matter," the Professor interrupted with a small, almost indistinguishable smile. "Although I'll be sure to address him on that matter also," she added.

Lily bit her lip. Now she'd possibly just got James in further trouble. "He didn't retaliate, you know," she tried awkwardly. "I mean, he was waving his wand about a fait bit but he didn't fire anything off - he just walked away in the end. John was the one that-"

"Thank you," the Professor nodded. "I'll speak to the students involved personally." Lily felt her hopes drop. McGonagall offered her another biscuit.

"Thank you," she muttered.

"At least that explains how the Head Boy ended up in the hospital wing."

Lily tried not to look too interested in James' situation, but she was glad to know what had happened to him. Perhaps he hadn't been avoiding her completely.

"Stupid, stubborn boy," McGonagall added in a mutter. It was almost three thirty; Lily could just imagine James refusing to visit the hospital wing out of stubbornness and probably a hangover; suffering through a broken nose all night and morning until McGonagall came to reprimand him for the party and sent him off to Madame Pomfrey.

"I know you take your responsibilities as Head Girl very seriously," McGonagall began, drawing Lily out of her thoughts. "And far from me to disapprove of a student's birthday celebrations, I have been very lenient in the past. Don't think I don't know about all those parties in Gryffindor Tower. But really, Lily? Alcohol? Students out of their common rooms and up til all hours? You have NEWTs approaching, and I know I don't have to tell you how serious that is."

Lily dropped her gaze to the desk in front of her. She considered making excuses but wasn't sure where to start. "They planned it very carefully so that the younger students wouldn't-" But upon glancing back at the Professors face again she fell silent. It was useless.

"Did you even try to stop it?"

The thought had never even entered her head. This party was a way of getting what she wanted. Then when she hadn't wanted it anymore she had been too worked up in her own problems to even consider what might happen if they were caught.

"I'm very disappointed," the Professor sighed, sitting back in her chair.

Lily nodded; accepting whatever punishment the Professor was about to throw her way. "Are you suspending me?" she asked dismally, fingering her Head Girl badge.

The Professor considered her for a moment before rising from her chair. Lily followed suit. "It wasn't your party after all," McGonagall finally spoke, ushering Lily toward the door. "However, Madame Pomfrey is running low on hangover potions," she added with a sigh. "You can assist Professor Slughorn; I'm sure he'll be grateful for some competent assistance for a change. Detention starts at seven PM, don't be late."

"Yes Professor."

"And Lily?"

She stopped with her hand around the knob, glancing back at the Professor. "Yes?"

"Are you quite alright?"

Lily did not miss the look of concern in the Professors eyes as she looked over the Head Girl's face, taking in her puffy eyes and coming to a halt at Lily's mouth. She mechanically licked the sore on her lip where James had bit her.

"Not really," Lily replied honestly. "But it was my own fault I suppose; I'll be okay."

Her first detention since becoming a prefect. Lily was not proud but she had to force herself not to be too cocky about the easy punishment. Potions was her best subject and she hardly considered the task of making hangover cures to be hard work. But she was snapped back into sudden reality of the situation as she found herself standing between James and John, chopping ingredients in silence while Professor Slughorn rattled on about his plans for the Easter holidays, as if any of them were supposed to care.

The tension in the room was ridiculous; only someone as self important as Professor Slughorn would not notice as the three of them worked in silence, awkwardly trying to stand too close to each other and muttering uncomfortable apologies if any of them should accidentally reach for the same knife. She wondered how Remus, Sirius and Peter had been lucky enough to get away with scrubbing the trophy room.

Lily had tried to catch James's eye but he was awfully stubborn. She wondered if he knew she had told McGonagall about the fight and he was sulking over it or if this was how things were just going to be between them now.

"Not yet!" Slughorn ceased his blabber as she caught James' hand when he attempted to add the dandelion petals to the cauldron. He was tense beneath her touch and refused to look at her. "You have to stir it first," she added in softer tones, releasing his wrist slowly. She picked up the spoon, handing it to him as a friendly gesture.

"Miss Evans, always on the ball," Slughorn announced proudly. Lily ignored the compliment.

"Thank you," James uttered quietly, finally looking her in the eye. His expression was unreadable; completely blank, but his voice was pleasant enough. She smiled hopefully but his eyes flickered to her broken lip and his eyebrows knitted tightly togther.

CRASH!

"Oh Mr Willis, can't you be more careful?"

Lily visibly jumped as John dropped a vile of armadillo bile, the glass shattering across the stone floor.

"I'm sorry Professor," John said quickly, though Lily noticed his gaze flashed to her and James. "Allow me to repair it." He reached for his wand.

"No, no, no," Slughorn muttered irritably, waddling around to their side of the table to inspect the mess for himself. "It's too late; it's contaminated." The entire mess vanished into thin air as Slughorn waved his own wand over the floor. "Fetch a new vile," he told John, still with an irritable tone. John scurried off to the storeroom, glancing at Lily and James over his shoulder and knocking into several stools on his way. "Oh Miss Evans, do help him," Slughorn added hopelessly, shaking his head. Lily grudgingly followed in John's footsteps as she heard the Professor muttering to James about the cost of good armadillo bile these days.

John stood in the centre of the store cupboard, looking around at the cluttered shelves. "Second from the top," she said, hoping to sound as indifferent as possible. "On the left."

John had obvious not sensed her enter and turned to her in surprise. "Lily," he began with a desperate tone.

"Get the vile John," she cut him off coldly, inspecting the shelf beside her. She sensed him back off and begin to climb the wooden ladder.

"You can't avoid me forever," he said quietly, reaching for the vile.

"I can sure try," she muttered, stepping forward to take it from him.

He held it out of reach on purpose, disappointment written all over his face. "What happened to you Lily? When did you become so cruel?"

"Round about the time I found my boyfriend having it off with another girl at some party," she replied coolly.

"I was drunk," he began, but Lily cut him off with a loud scoff, reaching on her toes and snatching the vile from his grasp. "I know it's a crap excuse," he continued desperately, descending the ladder. "But I wasn't in my right mind last night. It was just a kiss – she doesn't mean anything to me, I swear."

Lily pulled away as he tried to reach out for her. "I'm talking about my party, John. There's no point in denying it; I've known all along."

It took a moment for him to realise what she was saying before his eyes squeezed shut in mortification and he swore under his breath. "Merlin Lily, I'm so…I don't know what to-"

"It doesn't matter," she cut him off. He looked at her in mild surprise. "I don't need excuses – I don't even need an apology," Lily said evenly. "It wouldn't mean much anyway. We're over, that's all there is to it." It felt so good to finally say those words. It felt like an enormous weight had been lifted off her chest and she willed herself not to smile.

He was speechless for moment. "That can't be it," he said finally, sounding flabbergasted by her aloofness. "It can't. I mean, we were just discussing Valentine's Day. This can't be it!"

Lily blinked.

"You're not serious."

"Professor Slughorn is waiting for his bile." She made to leave the room but John reached out, catching her by the sleeve of her robes. He released her immediately upon catching her vehement expression.

"Give me a second chance Lily," he hissed. "Please."

She shrugged. "You're really not worth it." Again she made for the exit.

"It's Potter, isn't it?" he spat, though his voice wavered. "How long have you been seeing him?"

"I'm not with anyone," Lily replied honestly, pausing to turn around and face him again.

"You kissed him."

"I did," she admitted calmly. There seemed no point in hiding the truth. "Have been, rather. Since January if you must know."

"Before or-"

"After," she cut in bitterly. "We were already history, I can assure you."

"Do you love him?"

She paused, glancing back toward the classroom. "No," she said truthfully. "But I sure do fancy him a great deal I suppose."

"Slughorn needs that bile," a strong voice cut in. Lily turned to see James in the doorway looking irritable. "Stop dicking about." He disappeared from view again with a glare toward John. Lily made to follow him.

"I'm not ready to let you go yet," John stopped her, sounding more distressed than ever. "I love you, Lily. I know I don't say it enough but surely you kn-"

"Men don't need to fuck other girls when they're with somebody they love," she told him simply. He gaped at her wordlessly as she finally headed back into the classroom. "I hope you get your ring back before your mother finds out."

Lily was released early from the detention as Professor McGonagall had probably determined. Lily offered to stay as she had hoped to speak to James on the way back up to the Tower but although Slughorn was sorry to see her go, he insisted she get a good night's rest. Lily did not return to her dorm though, sitting against the wall a little further along the corridor so she still had a good view of the classroom door. It seemed like hours had passed before either of the boys emerged.

"You should have gone back, it's freezing down here."

Lily awoke from a light sleep to find James standing over her. She wasn't even aware she had nodded off. "What time is it?" she spoke groggily, rubbing her eyes.

"A little after midnight." He extended a hand to her and she took it, allowing him to pull her to her feet. His hands were wonderfully warm and she was sorry when he released her own soon after, realising how cold she actually was.

"What happened to John?" she asked cautiously.

"Slughorn made us leave separately. Afraid we'd try to kill each other I guess. You didn't see him pass?"

Lily shook her head. "Guess I was asleep." They had automatically begun a slow walk toward Gryffindor Tower and Lily realised they were actually maintaining a civilised conversation.

"McGonagall suspended me."

Lily glanced up at him and then back at their path. She knew she should console him but her first reaction was one of selfishness; she didn't want him to go away. "Do you have to leave?" she asked finally, trying not to sound too desperate. "Surely you can just be confined to the Tower or-"

He interrupted her with a slight chuckle, causing her to look up at him again in alarm. "As Head," he told her with a small smile. "She took my badge." Lily realised that he was not in fact wearing the shiny Head Boy badge on his robes. "She wouldn't kick me out so close to NEWTs," he continued, sounding casual about it now. "And we still have a Quidditch trophy to win."

Lily allowed a small smile. She was happy to discover he did not in fact hate her as much as he had made out and was being friendly, but she desperately wanted to discuss the more serious matter of their relationship, or whatever was left of it.

"Looks like you can have Moony back as your old patrol partner," he added. "They won't be replacing me so it looks like you'll be running all the meetings by yourself, but I'll still help you with the paperwork if you like, and-"

"James?"

He stopped speaking, his expression turning serious as he looked down into her anxious face. They came to a halt at the bottom of a flight of stairs. "I'm sorry about this," he said, bringing a hand to her chin and allowing his thumb to lightly touch her lip. Lily nearly died at the gentle contact. "I was out of hand, I shouldn't have said that I-"

"God, James," Lily sighed, moving out of his grasp. "Just stop, will you?" He frowned, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I'm the one that should be apologising. All you ever do is care and I'm so ungrateful for it. You should hate me; you have every right to."

He shrugged. "I tried…It doesn't seem to work."

She laughed despite herself. "Don't," she said, forcing herself not to smile. She was trying to have a serious conversation.

"Sorry."

She glanced at her shoes. "I need to apologise for how I've treated you recently – the things I said – I know it doesn't take back everything that happened but I just wanted you to know, despite the fact that I'm a - a heartless bitch - I really…I mean I…I wanted you to know that I...that you were-" What was she supposed to say? You were right; turns out I do like you after all! It sounded so pathetic.

"I know, Lily." She looked up at him in surprise. "I heard you talking to Willis." Lily felt herself flush. "But don't worry," he added, reaching out again and tilting her chin up so that she was forced to look at him. "It's a good thing; I like you a little bit too as it happens." She found herself laughing again. "And Sirius helped me figure out what an idiot I was last night; completely off the mark there."

Lily pursed her lips, not sure whether to agree or not and tell him he was an idiot directly. She chose the safer route, looping her arm in his and leading him back toward the Tower. "Sirius has an odd knack for that, doesn't he," she smiled. "Helping idiots find their way."

"He didn't punch you too did he?"

Lily gaped at him. "You're kidding."

"Sadly not," James sighed, unconsciously bringing a hand to his stomach. "Sadly not."

Lily shook her head, pressing herself closer to him to steal his body heat. She found it rather hard to believe that she was finally allowed to do that, and that she actually had Sirius Black to thank for it.

James spoke the password as they reached the portrait and Lily released his arm as she stepped into the deserted common room. The fire was almost out making the place seem less welcoming than usual and she waited awkwardly by a sofa as James closed the portrait behind him. They had reached that point of 'what now?'

"We should probably head up, it's late," he told her, motioning toward the staircases. She was thankful for some sort of direction though she did not miss the awkwardness in his voice either.

"Yeah," Lily nodded, stepping toward the girl's staircase and sensing him not far behind. They came to a halt at the bottom. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Try and stop me."

They each smiled at the other until Lily could bare the tension no longer and took the first step. It was like waiting to see if he would kiss her at the end of the first date but she had already kissed him a dozen times before. It was a truly bizarre feeling.

"Hey Lily?"

She spun back to face him quickly. "Yeah?"

"Go out with me?"

A burst of involuntary laughter spilled form her until she realised he was entirely serious. "You really had to ask?"

He grinned. "Of course. Is that a yes?"

"What do you think?" he punched him playfully in the chest. "Idiot."

His grin widened until he looked positively ecstatic. "Night Lily."

Her heart thumped wildly as he leaned in for a kiss but they each pulled back abruptly at an odd sound. Lily frowned. "You hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"You don't hear that rustling noise?"

"Wormtail you fuck! They were gonna kiss!" Sirius' voice pierced the silence and one, two, three, four, five, six, seven heads appeared over the back of a sofa. The rest of the Marauders and Lily's entire dorm peered at them with embarrassment.

"Hi," Dorcas uttered guiltily. "Um, we were just-"

"Looking for raisins," Remus interrupted. "I think Cecily dropped some so, um…" He trailed off with Cecily looking panic stricken.

James cleared his throat. "We're just going to-"

"Yeah," three or four them responded in unison. "We'll just…keep looking," Remus added awkwardly. "You guys go on ahead."

"Oh for fuck's sake," James muttered rather irritably all of a sudden. "Bloody well get on with it."

Lily shared an odd look with Dorcas and Emmeline who grinned back before they all struggled to their feet and Sirius heaved a large badly half-wrapped parcel onto the couch. "We weren't quite finished," he huffed with a scowl in poor Peter's direction. He looked very sorry. "Was supposed to be a surprise in the morning."

One glance and Lily knew exactly what it was. "The Turbo Turntable Two Thousand," she said in a breathy voice. "But how?"

James cleared his throat. Lily couldn't believe it. "What happened to Quidditch tickets?"

"Oh Lily," Dorcas scoffed. "There were no Quidditch tickets. For the smartest witch in the year you really aren't very bright."

"There would have been Quidditch tickets," Sirius argued. "If I was allowed any say in the matter."

Lily laughed, stepping forward to pull Sirius into a hug over the back of the couch. "Thank you."

"Yeah whatever," he muttered, trying to maintain his sulky exterior but letting a small smile slip. Lily pretended she didn't notice.

Another throat clearing of the throat brought her attention back to James. "And that you of course."

"Yes, thank you James," Dorcas and Emmeline chimed in.

"Yeah, yeah," he said with a smile, waving his hand at them in an absent manner. "Do you guys mind? We were kind of in the middle of something."

There was a muttering of 'go ahead's' and apologies from the group as Lily exchanged winks with Dorcas and Emmeline, allowing James to take her hand and lead her back to the staircase. He kicked a brick beside the bottom step and to Lily's great surprise, began to lead her up the girl's staircase and to her dorm without it turning into a helter-skelter. "That certainly explains the invites," she commented, opening the door and leading him into the room. She was relieved to discover it had been tidied. "I'd always wondered how-ooo!"

James grasped her by the arm, drawing her close to him. The familiar feel of his body against hers was very welcome. "Kiss now, talk later," he muttered, taking hold of either side of her face.

"Rather demanding, aren't you?" she giggled.

"Hush, you are determined to ruin our first kiss."

"First?"

"First," he said intently, brining his lips within an inch of her mouth. She closed her eyes expectantly. "You've never kissed me before in your life." And he was right. Because James Potter didn't kiss like the person she'd been snogging for the past month at all. He was slower and deliberate, taking his time to run his hands through her hair and down her back. But it was familiar because it was James, and this time Lily didn't find she wanted to hurry things at all.

"Yours?"

She hadn't even notice them travel across the room as James waved his hand toward the nearest bed. Emmeline would never forgive her. "This one," she uttered, kissing his neck as she pushed him toward her own, finally landing in a tangled heap amongst her pillows. Lily laughed, going to work along the collum of his neck.

"Ow!"

"Oh you big softy," she breathed against his skin.

"No, there's really something digging into my back!" She paused long enough for him to dislodge the offending object, wishing they'd chosen Emmeline's bed after all. "Wow, you really move fast don't you?" he said with a chuckle. "My size too, nice work."

Her eyes widened in surprise at the sight of a box of condoms – one of the boxes Dorcas had given to her for her birthday. The stupid bitch probably thought she was being funny; leaving them out on Lily's bed as a joke. She was going to kill Dorcas. James on the other hand simply laughed, pulling her down to him and kissing her again, the other hand sliding over her bum. Lily began to panic. She'd never actually denied being a virgin that time. Surely he didn't think she wanted to…right now…she didn't have a clue what she was doing!

"They're not mine," she hastened to explain, pulling away from him suddenly and feeling her face burn as she tried desperately to shove the box of condoms under the bed. "I mean, they are, but, um…" Lily buried her reddening face in his robes with a groan. She really was going to kill Dorcas. "I can't do this," she muttered into his chest. "I'm sorry."

"Hey, Lily…"

Slowly she raised her head feeling terribly embarrassed. James smiled again, using both hands to rub her back in a comforting manner.

"What would you say to hot chocolate right about now?"

She opened her mouth but found she was unable to say anything as he smiled adoringly back at her. "Sounds great," she finally uttered, feeling oddly tearful. "It's not too late?"

"Lily," he said, leaning forward to kiss her on her forehead sweetly. "For you, I have all the time in the world..."

Yes, that was the last chapter of It's My Party. Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed; I hope you had as much fun reading as I did writing this fic. If you want to catch any of my other stories they're over at hpfzforums although I'll transfer them all here eventually.

Some people said they weren't aware this fic was based on a song. I initially began planning the story with Leslie Gore's 'It's My Party' in mind and by chance discovered there was a follow up song called 'Judy's turn to Cry' which fitted almost exactly with how I intended the rest of the story to go (that is, having Lily kiss James at the next party). Here are the lyrics for anyone who doesn't know them…

It's My Party – Leslie Gore

Nobody knows where my Johnny has gone
Judy left the same time
Why was he holding her hand
When he's supposed to be mine

It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to
You would cry too if it happened to you

Playin' my records, keep dancin' all night
Leave me alone for a while
'Till Johnny's dancin' with me
I've got no reason to smile

It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to
You would cry too if it happened to you

Judy and Johnny just walked through the door
Like a queen with her king
Oh what a birthday surprise
Judy's wearin' his ring

It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to
You would cry too if it happened to you