Why do I hate him, you ask?

He is everything I could have been.

Every prospect I once had, all potential I once showed, any hope I once dared to allow, he is, and I am not.

We were born equal, he and I. As children, we were of equal stature, of equal rank, of equal opportunity. Even our countenances were the same. Now, as men, it was only because he looks like me that he still has his limbs attached to his body and his entrails inside it.

Why did I save him, if I hate him?

For Lucie.

Of course, it was for Lucie. Everything I have done since I met her was for Lucie. Her golden curls and blue eyes entranced me, enticed me, allured me, intoxicated me, and stole the very breath from my chest. She loved him, and because I loved her, I saved him. I did it for her.

I promised her. I swore an oath that I would give my life for her or any that she held dear. My life may have been worthless, my days may have been idle, but I am a man of my word. I will not break it. I have no wish to. My life will be empty if I do.

And now, the time comes once again that he is in danger. The noble, good, kind Evremonde called Darnay, imprisoned for the crimes of his father and uncle. And now, it is time to honor my oath.

The Gray World beckons. I turn, I watch, I stand. There, the newly-born female of the revolution, a goddess to the eyes of the people who have condemned him to his death, awaits her prey.

I see nothing. I hear nothing. I feel nothing. I know what is happening, but it does not seem to matter anymore.

She is all that matters.

And she will be happy.

It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known.