ZOMG SHEIK
By Hoogiman

Disclaimer: All of the Super Smash Brothers characters are the property of Nintendo. So please don't sue.

Note: This story sucks. Thank you for your time. The lack of updates is brought to you by… vacation.

Last time on… ZOMG SHEIK…

"It's almost as if nobody likes me!" said Zelda, sobbing.

"There, there," said Link, comforting Zelda.

"I mean, who would hate me, Zelda, the great princess of Hyrule?" asked Zelda, putting her hand on her chest.

…

Jigglypuff ran in whilst holding flowers, accidentally knocking over the doorstop.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, YOU LITTLE BRAT! I NEVER ASKED YOU TO COME IN HERE AND KNOCK OVER MY DOORSTOP! WHAT HAVE I DONE TO YOU TO DESERVE SUCH A HORRIBLE, UNKIND ACT? YOU SHOULD BE SHOT!" screamed Zelda.

…

Roy wiped the shaving cream off his face.

"Wouldn't… it be funny… if Zelda… was actually Sheik?" laughed Roy.

Everybody laughed.

…

"Sheik, I don't remember that you had a beard yesterday!" said Peach, surprised.

"Er…" said Sheik, "Magic?"

Chapter Three: Stuck!

"Phew, that was a close one," muttered Zelda to herself, looking at her own reflection in the bathroom mirror.

Zelda wiped the sweat off her face.

"I have to think of a way to make my costume look more effective!" said Zelda.

Zelda snapped her fingers.

"That's it!" she muttered to herself, "I'll superglue every part of the costume to myself… that way my beard can never come off again! No more being beaten around… no more being neglected and ignored… I can finally become the party animal that everybody loves! I will be Sheik forever!"

Zelda grabbed a giant tub of superglue.

"Now to put the superglue on!" said Zelda.

Zelda put the superglue on herself.

"And now for my elaborate Sheik disguise!" said Zelda.

Zelda put on her chicken costume.

"And now to put on my beard!" said Zelda.

Zelda grabbed some random assorted hair from the garbage bags of a barber.

"There! This glue helps me look even more like Sheik!" said Zelda, proudly.

…

…

Zelda realised that she was wearing a chicken suit, and old men's head hair for a beard.

"GAAH!" screamed Zelda, looking at herself in the mirror.

Meanwhile…

"I personally don't think there's such thing as a wardrobe malfunction," said Pit to Marth, sipping his tea.

"So you're also saying that there's no such thing as bad fashion sense?" replied Marth, sceptically.

"Well, look at it this way: you can find a woman that you think has an awful dress," said Pit, "But there will always be a man in the world that will find that dress to look great. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

"Yeah right," said Marth, sneering, "There are people out there that are so horrendously ugly that even the nicest of people couldn't think of anything nice to say about them!"

"That's not true! It is impossible for there to be something so horrendously ugly that nobody would find it attractive!" said Pit.

Zelda, in a chicken suit, ran past screaming whilst trying to take off the hair off her face.

Pit, stunned, looked at Marth.

"Okay, fine then, you win," said Pit, "Here's your ten-"

Pit noticed that Marth had passed out from shock.

"Woo," said Pit.

Meanwhile…

"Help me Ness!" said Zelda, running into Ness's room.

"What happened?" said Ness shocked, noticing Zelda's appearance.

"Uh…" said Zelda nervously, "You really shouldn't worry… It's a long story… a very long story… Can you just get me some glue-removal fixture thing?"

"What happened?" asked Ness, "Are you like this because you have a secret identity that is overshadowing your real one, so in your hope for acceptance you try and make yourself look like your secret identity, you cover yourself with superglue and accidentally put on a chicken suit and barber hair as a fake beard?"

…

…

"Uh… no?" chuckled Zelda.

"Oh," said Ness.

The End (of chapter)

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