Once Upon A Time...
Disclaimer: Do NOT own Soul Calibur. Nuriko btw is me so I own her!!!
NOTE: Oh btw I don't know the name of the thingy Rapunzel's mother wants to eat so I'll make it up... CABBAGE! .
RAPUNZEL
CAST:
Rapunzel: Seung Mina (Ok so she's not blonde but who cares? It's the long hair that counts...)
Prince: Kilik
Witch: Taki
Father: Heihachi
Mother: Cassandra
Narrator: Yunsung (yes you read it right... It is Yunsung...)
(Backstage)
SEUNG MINA: Where's Nuriko? I need to ask her something!
KILIK: No one's seen her today... Where is she?
HEIHACHI: Hm... For some reason I have a feeling he has something to do with this... (points to Yunsung)
YUNSUNG: What??? Why're you blaming me?!?!?! I didn't do anything!!! I'm innocent!!!
EVERYONE ELSE: ... Freak...
TAKI: I still don't see why I have to be the witch. Do I look like a witch to you?
KILIK: Well...
TAKI: I thought so! I am a ninja! This such thing is a disgrace! I am going to quit!
CASSANDRA: Guys! A note from Nuriko!
NOTE: I'm not feeling well today (some girl issues) and so Yunsung will be in charge and be the narrator... And Taki! If you quit I will... I repeat, WILL call Namco! And if none of you listen to him, you will be doomed!!!
EVERYONE EXCEPT YUNSUNG: HIM?!?!?! IN CHARGE??? What did you do Yunsung?!?!?!
YUNSUNG: No time for explanations! Go on! You're starting! (smirking)
(Curtains go up)
YUNSUNG: Once upon a time there lived a couple who were expecting a baby soon...
HEIHACHI: Oh I hope the baby will be a healthy child...
CASSANDRA: Dear... I'm hungry...
HEIHACHI: Well what do you want? We got bread, rice... Rice?!?! Um... Corn, biscuits... Anything you want!
CASSANDRA: I want some cabbages...
HEIHACHI: Cabbages? But we don't have any... No one in this village has any, except for the witch next door...
CASSANDRA: I want some cabbages... Or I can't give birth to the baby.
HEIHACHI: Alright alright... Do I have to?
CASSANDRA: (glares at him) If you don't, I cannot give birth to the baby!!!
HEIHACHI: Ok! Ok! Geez! (leaves)
YUNSUNG: So the husband, deciding that asking the witch was a bad idea, sneaked into her garden and stole a few but as he was about to leave...
TAKI: Stop! How dare you steal from my garden?! You shall be punished!
HEIHACHI: No wait-
YUNSUNG: The man begged and begged for mercy and he...
HEIHACHI: Ahem! That's what I'm supposed to say! Now go away stupid boy! Please don't hurt me! My wife, she's just in labour and is craving for some cabbages...
TAKI: Hm... alright you can take the cabbages but I want something in return.
HEIHACHI: Alright! Anything! Just please don't kill me! I have a child to be a father of...
TAKI: Fine, you're excused. Just don't do it again or it will be the death of you! (disappears)
YUNSUNG: So the husband goes back to his wife and tells her what happened. Worried...
CASSANDRA: How could you do something so stupid like that?!?!?!
HEIHACHI???? But you wanted the cabbages!!!
CASSANDRA: Well NOW I want you to dip your head in...
YUNSUNG: Hey! No threatning! But anyway the couple decided to not worry about it and let it go... A few months later, the baby was born but the couple could not celebrate because...
TAKI: (appears in their room using her smoke thingys, trips) Oh crap! I mean now! Gimme your baby!
CASSANDRA: Please! Don't take my baby! You said you wanted something from us...
TAKI: ... Duh... Your baby! (takes the baby doll and disappears)
YUNSUNG: The witch locked the baby up in a tower and raised her up there and named her Rapunzel. As she grew, her hair grew too and by the time she was 16, her hair was so long and strong that the witch used it as a rope...
SEUNG MINA: What?!?!?! I mean... (whistles)
TAKI: Rapunzel! Rapunzel! Let down your hair!
SEUNG MINA: (drops hair down... some of hair is extra rope but shh!!!)
TAKI: (actually climbs it)
SEUNG MINA: Ow! Ow! Omg!!!
TAKI: Here you go Rapunzel. (gives her food)
SEUNG MINA: Thank you... (THOUGHTS: Um... Is it rice? No wait! It's a pork bun! Oh no... It's a packet of chips!!! Ooooh no... It's... cabbages... Cheapskate...)
TAKI: Now you stay here and I'll be right back... (goes down again)
SEUNG MINA: (sighs and stares out window and starts singing)
YUNSUNG: Just then a prince on a horse rides by and hears Rapunzel's... Awful singing...
SEUNG MINA: (throws her weapon at him)
KILIK: (gets off horse that is made out of broom) I hear a (coughs) beautiful voice! Where is it coming from? Oh! Up there! (hides behind cardboard bush when Taki appears)
TAKI: Rapunzel! Rapunzel! Let down your hair!
SEUNG MINA: ... (does it again)
KILIK: Hm... Is that all I have to say? Alright!
YUNSUNG: So the young prince waited for the witch to leave and when she did he decided to try out the chant...
KILIK: Rapunzel! Rapunzel! Let hair down your!
EVERYONE: ...
KILIK: I mean Rapunzel! Rapunzel! Let down your hair!
SEUNG MINA: (drops hair)
KILIK: (climbs hair clumsily)
SEUNG MINA: OMG YOU'RE EVEN WORSE THAN TAKI!!!! OMG HURRY UP!!!!! I mean... Ow...
(AUDIENCE)
TALIM: Aww! Yunsung-kun's a wonderful narrator isn't he?
XIANGHUA: Kuso!!! How come I'm not Rapunzel?!?!?!?! That stupid red head... My Kilik-chan!
MITSURUGI: Geez you two...
NURIKO???? What're you guys doing here?
XIANGHUA: Nuriko?!?!?!?!
MITSURUGI: What're you doing here??? We thought you had some girl tissues or something...
TALIM: It's girl Issues bumbrush!
NURIKO: Eh??? No... I got a letter from Namco saying that all of you were shooting a new fighting scene somewhere in space or something... (shows them letter)
MITSURUGI: Hey that writing looks familiar...
TALIM: Omg! It's Yunsung-kun's writing!!!
NURIKO: WHAT?!?!?! That jerk! I'm gona get him!
XIANGHUA: Oh so it's him who did the casts? Phew...
NURIKO: Um no... All the casts are correct...
XIANGHUA: WHAT??!!?!
(MEANWHILE)
YUNSUNG: So the prince left, promising to bring her back with him the next time he came again. But to Rapunzel's dismay, when the witch came back...
TAKI: How dare you bring someone up to this castle?!?!?! You know you are forbidden to see anyone!
SEUNG MINA: How did you know?!?!
TAKI: I have my ways...
SEUNG MINA: You mean you have security cameras?!?!?! (looks around)
TAKI: No! I am a (hesitates for a moment) witch after all! For your trecherous behaviour I have no choice but to do this! (takes her hair and cuts it off, even her real hair)
SEUNG MINA: (Now has a bob-style haircut) MY HAIR!!!!!!!!! (really upset) Oooh someone's gonna pay!!!
YUNSUNG: ... Don't worry stupid! It'll grow back! I mean... The witch took her deep into the forest and left her there to survive on her own. She used the remains of Rapunzel's hair as the rope and waited for the prince to come that night.
KILIK: Rapunzel! Rapunzel! Let down your hair!
YUNSUNG: Unbeknownst to the prince, his beloved Rapunzel was not there anymore...
KILIK: (climbs "hair") I guess she's used to my weight... Good... All that working out's paying off...
YUNSUNG: The prince climbed into the room only to find...
KILIK: Rapunzel I am her... OMG YOU'VE BEEN CURSED!!! AND UGLYFIED!!!!
TAKI: Watch it Kilik! (evil black pissed aura around her)
KILIK: (gulps)
TAKI: I am not Rapunzel! I am the witch! And now I shall curse YOU! Once you step out of this castle, you shall be blinded and can never see for eternity!
KILIK: ... Well... In that case... I'll stay here!
YUNSUNG: Asshole! I mean... So the witch curse him and whilst trying to find his way, he hears a (coughs again) familiar and beautiful voice in the woods...
SEUNG MINA: (throws weapon again)
KILIK: (now blindfolded) That voice! It's my Rapunzel! (walks into wall) Ow! Rapunzel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SEUNG MINA: (runs over to Kilik) Oh my beloved! What has happened to you?!?!?!
KILIK: Uh helloooooo! I mean ahem... I've lost my sight...
SEUNG MINA: My dearest! (pours eyedrops and somehow the "tears" heal his eyes)
KILIK: I can see again! It's a miracle! (hugs Seung Mina)
YUNSUNG: And the two lived happily ever after. The End.
(Backstage)
NURIKO, XIANGHUA, TAKI, SEUNG MINA: YUNSUNG!!!!!!!
YUNSUNG: What?!?!? Oh... Uh... (shrinks compared to the four girls) Ahahaha... Cya! (runs off)
NURIKO, XIANGHUA, TAKI, SEUNG MINA: COME BACK HERE!!!!! (chases him)
KILIK: Uh? What's going on?
TALIM: Well Xianghua's mad cuz Yunsung didn't change the Rapunzel cast to her eventhough he knew, Taki's mad cuz he made her so ugly-looking, Seung Mina's mad cuz he promised her that her hair would grow back but we all know it won't and Nuriko... well he basically sabotaged her show...
KILIK, HEIHACHI: Whoa...
TALIM: Yup! Until next time minna-san!