FIND A WAY

by Morgause

Chapter 4: Always and forever

Pan landed on the beach and let herself drop in the sand. She sighed and closed her eyes. Whenever she felt depressed, angry or just bad, she came here to calm down. Nobody else came here, it was about as far in the middle of nowhere you could get. Only Bra knew of the place and even she didn't come here when Pan was, because she knew Pan needed to be alone then.

The cool night breeze and the sound of the waves relaxed her a little and she started recollecting her thoughts.

He just gave up his eternal youth for her.

No.

He'd been an enemy.

He'd been the sweetest guy she'd ever even kissed with.

He'd been her first.

He just gave up eternal youth for her.

No! No, stop it. You can bring on all kinds of excuses, but you can't deny the fact that you don't love him. You love Trunks. You can't lead him on, play along, and still love Trunks. It's not fair, not for you and not for him!

She moaned and rolled on her stomach. Why did she keep on thinking about this? She should forget about the whole thing for a while, maybe that that would get her somewhere.

She slowly stood up and pulled off her clothes. Maybe taking a swim would get her mind off this.

%^$^%

A dark shadow suddenly appeared in front of her in the waves. It scared the hell out of her and she jumped back gasping, to end up almost choking due to the water she'd accidentally swallowed. Only then a familiar soothing voice calmed her down, and she scowled up at him.

"Trunks! You scared the shit out of me!"

His low, soft laugh made her knees melt as always, and that fact pissed her off more than she could have thought.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" she said, huffy.

"I needed to talk to you," he said, looking deeply into her eyes.

Pan raised her brows at the look he was giving her. It almost seemed like...

"In the dark in a sea isn't really the best place and time, you know," she remarked dryly.

"Well..." Trunks looked down his body. He still had his clothes on and he was completely soaked. "You might be right. I just wanted to surprise you, that's all."

"You sure did," she muttered. "Well, let's get out. Whatever you want to say can wait until we're on the beach."

She levitated out of the water and quickly powered up, thus drying her body and underwear. Then she flew to the beach and put her clothes back on.

Trunks was sitting in the sand, waiting for her to finish getting dressed. When she was done, she dropped down next to him.

"So, what did you wanna talk to me about?" she asked, throwing her hair over her shoulder.

"Well... it's kind of complicated," he began.

Pan cocked her head. "Spit it out, boxer boy. What have you done now?!"

He actually blushed, what naturally made Pan chuckle.

"Well... I've not done anything... I.... just had something to say to you."

Pan frowned. Normally, when Trunks wanted to talk to her, he'd done something stupid that he needed to discuss with her, so that she could give him advice. He never came to her to just say something to her.

"What is it, then?" she asked.

He said nothing, just studied her face. Eventually it began to unnerve her. What was so strange in her face that needed to be watched like this?

"Trunks?" she asked uncertainly.

She saw him moving closer, laying his hand on her cheek. Was he gonna do what she thought he was gonna do? Her stomach curled uncomfortably. She vaguely noticed that she moisted her lips, in anticipation of what was coming.

He was close now, so close she could taste his breath on her lips. She saw him closing his eyes, and did the same. This was the moment she'd been waiting for for years.

%^$^%

Juunanagou sighed when his vision blurred. An aching feeling developed in his lower abdomen and spread out through his whole body. In vain. It had all been in vain. He had hoped so much, longed so much, loved so much, but it had been useless.

The mere sight of him kissing her made his heart ache so badly he wanted to lay down and die. It didn't only affect him on an emotional level, but it also touched him phsysically – something he had never considered possible. Now he understood why people fought, even though they would never win, to try and save their beloved ones. And why people gave up, even when they had a great chance of winning, just because it wasn't worth it anymore.

He'd gotten to that point now. But it was the point of no return for him – he could not undo his actions, nor could he undo his feelings. Which he terribly regretted right now, because being so hurt by such a diminutive action was not a thing he really liked.

%^$^%

The moment his lips touched hers Pan knew something was wrong. It was not him – his lips were soft, warm, and when his tongue slid in she noticed he was quite a good kisser too – but something really uncomfortable washed over her. An aching feeling in her stomach, a growing urge to push Trunks – Trunks! The guy she'd been waiting for for years! The guy she'd loved for years!! – away from her. And the moment she felt it she knew it was him. Juunanagou. Number seventeen. He was making her feel this way.

No. It was not that he made her feel this way, but that she made him feel this way. Somehow though it was returned.

Somehow she felt exactly what he felt.

It was only when she realised that that she did push him away.

Trunks looked at her with hurt. "Wh… what? I… Shouldn't I have done that? I thought you…"

Pan breathed in shuddering. "Trunks… I… I can't. I've waited years for this moment, but now I can't. I'm sorry. I'm sorry!" She turned and blasted away, leaving Trunks with emotions she couldn't really care about now.

%^$^%

"Juunanagou! Wait!"

She saw him startle and turn to look at her.

Only his eyes were enough to make her wanna go up to him and beg for forgiveness. He seemed so hurt! She did not, ofcourse – she was too proud to do so. But the feeling stayed.

"You seem to have made your decision?" he asked. His voice was as cool and calculated as any time, but she could feel him blazing and burning on the inside.

"Don't jump into conclusions, Juunana," she said coolly.

"Well, kissing him seems to me like a choice!" he said, his voice if possible even colder. "I don't think I'm jumping into conclusions!"

"Why the hell do you think I ran away?!!" she shouted, outraged. "It was you! I couldn't even kiss the one I've loved for years because you were feeling like hell and that made me feel the same way!!"

His eyes widened at her outburst, but then he frowned. "You only left because it would make me feel bad? I don't need compassion. I don't need pity. Please, go back to him then." The look in his eyes changed to painfully. "I'd prefer you being happy with him than unhappy because of me."

She sighed and flashed a half smile. "I wasn't being compassionate. I just felt the exact same thing you were feeling, which was pain, at the moment. I still do. And if you're paying attention, you'd probably feel exactly what I'm feeling to."

She looked into his eyes, those pale blue eyes that could burn with so much fire when they looked at her.

He was still considering what she had said. "And what does that mean?" he asked in the end, still frowning.

Pan drew in a deep breath. She'd been thinking about what it meant the whole time, but she could only come up with the same thing again and again. And it was not that she didn't want it, it was just so unexpected. She'd never thought she'd actually ever get over Trunks... And that one night in the park would do the job.

She must have been really lucky to find the right guy at once.

"It meanst you'll never get rid of me anymore," she finally said, smiling tentatively.

In one fluid movement he came to her and took her in his arms. Holding her close and burying his face in her hair he said: "Good. That's the way I want it."

She warmed herself in his embrace. "I ... I suppose I love you, Juu."

He embraced her tighter, then kissed her.

"I love you too, Pan. Always and forever."

#*~_^*$*%**^___^**%*$*^_~*#

AN: And finally, it's finished! I hope y'all had fun, I sure did ~_^. It was a pleasure writing for you and I wanna thank my fans (yup yup, there are 8 already!!) for supporting me this well and being there with every chapter, encouraging (threatening ~_^) me to get on with it and bring out something more... Thanks to you I actually finished this.

Now I can go on writing T-P again ~_^

And oh yeah, I did not try to bring Juunanagou out of character. It's not really clear in this fic, but Juunana is only nice an' all around Pan. Around other's he still is (or tries to be) cold and calculated. (Maybe, maybe I'll someday write some-sort-of-sequel to make that clearer........ *hides for angry T-P fans who can't stand this li'l J-P hobby of mine*)

Also I don't know a thing about the Super Seventeen stuff cuz I haven't seen GT (poor li'l Dutch girl – they don't air it in Holland). So I just pretended the whole GT stuff didn't happen and they lived fairly normal lifes (for Z-senshi, that is ~_^) or something like that... or that Juunanagou survived the super seventeen crap... (if anyone wants to tell me just *what* happened then, please do)

I hope I didn't piss too many people off by not using the correct storyline (I know it pisses me of to see people just forget about whole events that happened, just to make their story right... Especially when they just change the ages or the environment and stuff.

But when I started this whole series I didn't even know he'd died.

Ok that was my really long author's notes.... Thanks for reading and make sure to come back for more (if it's T-P or J-P...), I'm surely not gonna stop writing!!