Sup. Sorry for the lateness of this chapter, my roomate wouldn't get off the computer. Anyway, here we are folks; the last chapter. I want to thank everyone who's read and reviewed, put me on their alert and favorites lists, or simply just read. You were all awesome, and I enjoyed sharing this story with you. This was a lot of fun to write, and only took me about a week to do it, which is really fast if you know how friggen slow I write. (I do have work and school to concentrate on afterall.) I have another idea tinking around in my head that I might consider writing in the future, but it's not a Naruto fic. Sorry guys. ;-) Thanks again, and enjoy!
Disclaimer: Tries to think of something witty erm... um... I don't own Naruto. BALOOGALA!!
Chapter 5
We walked side by side in silence, her thin hands clasped in front of her as she walked timidly along. When she had awoken this morning all she had done from the moment of day break was heal and clean herself, hiding the red marks and visible bruises on her face and arms with healing chakra. She washed her clothes in the river while I sat by the dying fire and listened to her splash, wondering why she bothered with such trivial things. She was acting overly cheerful as well, coming back from the river dripping wet in her freshly washed clothes smiling like a mad woman. When I had handed her a blanket and told her to undress, so we could hang her clothes over the fire to dry, she had flushed and thank me several times; beaming like she was on top of the world and running off into the woods to do as I said. Now she was re-dressed in slightly drier clothes, appearing completely uninjured if observed by the untrained eye.
I hadn't understood why she was suddenly so intent on hiding her injuries, until she had asked me while she dried off by the freshly lit fire if it was alright if she went back to Kohona today. My first instinct was to suggest otherwise, until I realized that there was no reason to. With all the healing she had done today she was almost completely back to full stregnth, not even appearing winded after using up so much healing energy. I was quickly beginning to realize what an asset possessing such precise chakra control was.
"Sasuke?" she said, her voice measured like it was some horrible imposition for her to be speaking to me at all. She seemed overly nervous or hesitant, her hands tightening and loosening in front of her several times. I only made a small sound in the back of my throat to acknowledge her, and I saw her mouth tilt upwards at the sound. "I'm... I'm really grateful that you helped me. You didn't have to, but you did. It means a lot."
I didn't say anything, expecting her words from a mile away. She was beginning to sound a lot like the girl I used to know in Kohona and it was irritating me, behaving like she was weaker than she actually was and acting like she was privilaged just to be around me. It was the person I had seen over the last few days, the one attempting to hide her weaknesses and holding her head up even as tears fell from her eyes, who had garnered a small amount of my respect. The fact that she was now resorting to her old ways bothered me, and I was anxious to be away from her so I would no longer have to deal with her.
'God damn it, why am I so nervous?' I asked myself over and over, continuously wringing my hands until I thought I'd rub the skin raw. I could see as the horizon rolled that we would soon be within range of Kohona, and with each step my stomach would not stop churning. I wanted him to keep walking with me, to walk right through that gate and back into my life, but I wouldn't dare let myself admit it. I knew even if I asked he would never do such a thing, and it was making me feel angry and too depressed to think straight. So I acted as cheerful as I possibly could, so he wouldn't see, wouldn't know just how much I missed him and wished he would come home. He would just think I was being weak again, a nuisance.
"It'll be good, to sleep in my bed again, take a real bath." I begain babbling, knowing that he'd probably prefer the silence but unable to stop myself. "I'm sort of nervous about getting there though, since I know all I'm going to hear is 'where the hell were you?!' from everybody. I hope they'll all let me take a bath before they start laying the guilt trip though, but I can't see that happening. Naruto's probably going to jump on me as soon as I walk through..." my lips fumbled and I stopped myself, sensing his tense even as he walked a foot away from me. 'Way to go idiot, bring up the sensitive issues, that'll make this walk less ackward.'
The silence was heavy after that, and I almost wished he would leap away into the trees and leave me to my embarrassment. But for some reason he remained beside me, and I wondered what it would be like to say goodbye to him a second time. Why was he even walking me there at all? I mean, I knew he still wasn't too okay with the idea of me heading home so early after being so badly injured, but we were almost there; how far would he walk just to keep me safe?
I tightened my headband absently, the action reminding me of Naruto as soon as I did it. This silly headband always meant so much to him, and it was easy to understand why. It was a symbol, the first sign of growth we were all given when we had become genin. Though I had always valued it, Naruto was devoted to this headband; but Sasuke never was. He had so easily discarded it, and the absense of it from his forehead was a true reminder of his detachment. Kohona was no longer his home, he'd probably tell me it was silly of me to think of it that way. But I couldn't help it...
"Sakura" he stated, jolting me out of my thoughts and causing me to jump. I turned around and gave him my full attention, beaming happily despite myself. "Yes, Sasuke?" I had to bite my lip from adding the familiar 'kun' suffix, acting so like my old self that even my childish habits were beginning to resurface. He tipped his chin forwards and I looked over my shoulder, seeing the city of Kohona rising out of the trees. "Oh, right" I said sheepishly, turning back towards him and rubbing the back of my head. "I guess I can walk the rest of the way. Thank you again, Sasuke." My words sounded so sugar sweet I was sure he would see through it, but he only nodded, turning away and walking with his hands tucked within his pockets.
I froze, stunned that he would be able to leave it at that; with no words of goodbye or reverance. The other night by the fire he had allowed me a glimpse of honesty, at the person he had only revealed once or twice in all the time I had known him. And now what, it was back to this? Cold shoulders and silent words? My anger flared and I found myself reaching forward, grabbing hold of his forearm and halting him in his steps.
'Shit' I thought with a slight clench of my teeth, looking over my shoulder and awaiting what I was dreading all morning. Her eyes were wide as if she was shocked at her own actions, her hand remaining and yet the rest of her body unmoving. I waited as her eyes darted hestitently, unsure of what she planned on doing next. If she continued to act so childishly I was just going to leave, leaving her with her ridiculous hopes she somehow still thought I could fulfill.
I watched her lips purse for a moment as she seemed to decide something, her shoulders relaxing slightly along with her fingers on my arm. With careful movements she placed her other hand over my arm, and like a wisp of air I felt her healing chakra flowing into it. I twitched slightly but she held on, the gentle tendrils sweeping through me all the way to my shoulder. She let go when she was finished, meeting my eyes with a smile. I stared back without looking down at my newly healed arm, knowing just by the flex of my fist that the bruise and damaged tendants were now healed. "There. You did such a shitty job healing that damn arm and it's been driving me nuts" she said condensendingly, a haughty grin painted across her face. She was attempting to tease me I realized, trying to get a reaction out of me like she always seemed to get out of Naruto. I scowled, turning my body to her fully to allow her to see it. "You shouldn't waste your chakra on useless things." Her smile only grew at that, apparently pleased with my inadvertant reply.
Her eyes appeared different now, not as clouded as they were a moment ago. They seemed appeased, though for the first time I could see the regret in them as she looked over my face. I didn't know why I was still standing there, knowing that she wouldn't stop me if I tried to walk away this time. But I did, waiting with my hands re-tucked into my pockets as she seemed to take account of my current appearance to store into her memory.
She exhaled when she appeared to be finished, looking up at me with a sad smile. She bit the side of her cheek before she spoke, one last sign of apprehention before tossing it aside. "I miss you Sasuke. We all miss you, but I'm not going to ask you to come home. And I won't tell anyone that I saw you either. You can pretend that you didn't see me, and I'll pretend that I haven't seen you, okay? So that the next time we meet, we'll be on equal ground. And when Naruto and I defeat you, you'll realize the strength you keep looking for is over there" she pointed to Kohona, her eyes lingering on the faraway gates. "and not out here, away from us."
She seemed to be waiting for me to reply, but I wasn't sure of what I was supposed to say. I wondered if she would keep to her word and not mention that she had seen me, tell everyone that they should all set out and hunt me down while I was still near. But I decided that it didn't matter, and that I should just indulge her silly whims without argument.
She smiled happily when I nodded, brushing that strand of hair to rest behind her ear. Immediately after she scrunched her face for a moment, another thought abruptly rushing into her head and keeping my feet rooted to the ground. I knew I shouldn't still be here, that I should of left long ago so she could hold her resolve the next time we met. To draw out our parting for so long would only make it more difficult for her to actually fight me as an equal, which she seemed determined to do.
She squeezed her eyes shut, and lunging like she was about to jump off of a cliff, she latched her arms around my neck and shoulders in a tight hug. My foot stepped backwards to support the unexpected weight but I kept my hands firmly away from her sides, my eyes growing wide for a moment as I felt some of the air in my lungs rush out from the impact.
She smelled like the river and the earth, that damn pink hair of hers flooding my senses with it. I felt the need to push her away but didn't, my entire body going stiff as I waited for her to let go. I couldn't understand why I was allowing her so many indulgences today, but for some reason I felt as if I owed it to her. Like a fool all she had ever wanted was to help me, no matter the cost to herself, so what did it matter if I let her have that damn hug? It was insubstantial to me in the end, and her persistant emotional attachment would give me the advantage during our next battle. So what was the harm?
I had thought he would push me away as soon as I wrapped my arms around him but he didn't, and my heart soared as I dug my fingers into the back of that ridiculous sand village shirt of his. I was aware that he wasn't even attempting to hug me back but I didn't care, holding him as close as I possibly could with the knowledge that I might never be able to again. The strong part of me, the part which seethed everytime I did anything weak or accepted help when I didn't need it, was outraged. I never actually changed did I? I'm still that same little girl who cried when he left, who just wanted him to love me even though I knew he never could. Was I still in love with him even after all this time? How could I fight against him when the time came, if I was still in love with him?
I was holding on too long and was screaming at myself to let go, and with great effort I manged to. I looked down at the ground blushing like a maniac, stiffening my arms to my sides and feeling incredibly foolish. But I couldn't forget that he hadn't pushed away, and that his body was warm despite how cold he acted. He was made of flesh, just like me, and the thought made me smile and want to cry at the same time.
"Okay, I'm off!" I said cheerfuly, looking up and beaming like I was before. This time he didn't seem to buy it, his eyes slightly narrowed at me. With a respectful bow I muttered one last thank you, turning on my heel and ambling away. I wouldn't look back until I felt his familiar chakra dissapear from my senses, which didn't happen until I was nearly to the city's gates.
I wondered why he chose to linger nearby so long, why I couldn't stop shaking, why I swore to him that I wouldn't tell anyone I saw him when all I wanted was for Naruto to come with me and drag him back. I was acting so stupid and that was probably all he saw, all he felt when I had hugged him. 'Little Sakura, still so weak.' I heard his voice taunt, my body quaking with each insult. 'She doesn't understand the way of the world, what has to be done. All she sees is her own feelings, her own regrets.' My mind flashed to when I had cried and held Sasuke's body during the bridge builder mission, when I didn't care that the needles imbedded into his body were jabbing into my flesh as well. Back then, I didn't care if anyone saw me cry, but it was different now. 'I knew, even then, that emotions were unacceptable for a shinobi. They had to be made of steel, to do what was needed even if it hurt.' I realized I was crying and wiped my face with the heel of my hand, putting on that same fake smile and making sure it didn't waver. 'I am Shinobi. I won't be weak anymore.'
My feet still wouldn't move as I watched her dissapear into the trees, my fist still clenched from when she had healed my arm. It felt better than it had in several days, the persistant ache a constant reminder of my failure, my weakness. 'Is that why I will not walk away?' I thought, my fingers digging into my palm until it stung. 'Because I am still so weak?' My only answer was the silence, Sakura's footsteps long gone into the forest. And yet I stood there like a fool, my body terse as if I were about to strike something and yet having nothing to strike.
I turned, ignoring whatever the hell it was keeping me there, and leaped into the trees with renewed vigor. I found comfort in the blur of the trees as they zipped past, the only clear objects in my vision my two feet and the path in front of me. That was what mattered. Not Kohona, not Naruto or Sakura, just my own path in the opposite direction. 'I am Uchiha' I reminded myself, holding the name within my chest and accepting the familiar weight. 'I will not be weak anymore.'