Part I: Controversial Presidential Pardons
The sun doused CJ Cregg's office, the June day was clear and she gazed out the window wishing she could be lying on a beach somewhere. Instead, she was dealing with media frenzy around a police beating in New York, the President and his wife in Panama, and Carol out because her sister went into labor last night.
"Hey, Danny," CJ greeted the White House reporter as he entered her office. "Something I can do for you?" CJ swung her feet off her desk and put down the file she was supposed to be reading.
"Yeah, there's a lot of things you could do for me." He suggested and CJ rolled her eyes. "I want to talk."
"Okay." CJ agreed.
"About us."
"Oh."
"I think there are some unresolved issues-" He started but she cut him off.
"No, there aren't. I said no more grabbin' and kissin' and I meant it. It is wrong for us to even appear unprofessional."
"See, I don't think it would be unprofessional for us to date." Danny said as he stepped closer to CJ and deliberately stared at her lips.
"I don't agree, so…" CJ shrugged.
"This is what I think we should talk about."
"Are you insane? We just did."
"I didn't really have my best debate cap on," Danny said. "I could win if I had my cap on. Tonight, Harpoon's at 8 PM, back wall, furthest booth from the jukebox." He moved to the door.
"I haven't said if I'd go." CJ pointed out.
"You'll go."
"Danny, I swear to God, if you show up with some goofy hat on…" But she didn't complete the warning.
At 4:00 PM, CJ left the White House to visit Josh in the hospital. It had been almost four weeks since the shooting and the rehabilitation was slow. Josh was growing annoyed with his inability to even walk without being winded or in pain. Today, Sam informed her that Josh walked around part of the Hospital wing.
"Hey," CJ said upon entering Josh's room.
Josh turned at the sound of her voice. "Hey, yourself," he responded.
CJ sat in a chair next to his bed and handed Josh a plastic bag. He peered inside.
"ESPN the magazine and Gumi bears. CJ, you spoil me." He closed the bad and put it on the table next to his bed, "Thanks."
"I hear all the cool jocks have ESPN the magazine now-a-days." CJ taunted. Then her eyes softened. "It's a present for walking around the hall today."
"Yep, aren't you proud?" Josh flashed her a smile. "What's up? How's things in the West Wing? How in the world are you surviving without me?"
"Barely," She teased back. He played with a string pulling from the edge of his blanket as CJ rambled on. "Nothing important is happening right now, you're not missing much. The President's out of the country so I've actually been getting home before late night TV is over. That and Danny's been annoying me, as usual."
"Annoying you how?"
"You know, he wants to talk. It's nothing." CJ tried to change the subject. "The senior senator from New York is demanding a Federal investigation of New York City officials to determine if they're all racist."
"Maybe you should talk with him."
"The senior senator from New York?"
"No. Danny," Josh answered. "I always thought he would be good for you." CJ reacted with a look. Josh didn't let up. "Really, CJ, I think it's worth a chance. Imagine if he were dead tomorrow-"
"Josh, don't start," CJ warned. She was worried. Lately Josh had been thinking this way and asking people 'what if' questions that usually involved sudden death.
"Listen, I have been thinking about this because of what happened but that doesn't..." Josh stopped and changed the direction of his comment. "Here's my advice, go for it."
CJ deadpanned, "Suddenly you're a Nike ad."
"You don't really know if it's right or wrong, good or bad, unless you give him a chance. Then when you decide if you want to be with him or not, at least it's an informed decision. No regrets, CJ, it's my new philosophy. Try everything at least once."
CJ tried to hold it back but she couldn't help it, she laughed. "Thanks, Joshua. I'll be sure to explain to Danny that he gets one night with me because you think I should try everything once. Then I'll move through all of the Press Corps, followed by the entire White House staff. It sounds like you've been watching too much daytime TV."
"Fine, OK, do things your way. But just think about whether you know for sure what you are deciding."
For all the enthusiasm in Josh's voice, his eyes were becoming heavy with exhaustion. Simple things like a long discussion wore him out, and CJ took it as an indication that she should let him sleep.
"Thanks for the advice, get some sleep and I'll visit soon." CJ stood and kissed his forehead as Josh closed his eyes.
"Kay," he said softly.
CJ returned to the White House and immediately went to her briefing. The room was pretty thin because where the President goes, half her pressroom goes. The other half where left this trip covering trivial things happening in the President's absence.
CJ wondered why Danny was in DC, instead of Panama. Being a senior corespondent he usually got to travel to the cool places to cover the President for his paper, and the junior corespondent stayed home. 'Hmm, interesting,' CJ thought mildly, but quickly dismissed it as she stepped to the podium.
By 7:00 PM, she put the lid on and sat in her office going over notes on Iraqi Army movements near the Saudi boarder. Carol had called to say she would be coming in tomorrow, and that her sister had a girl. CJ didn't want to admit how much the day actually went pretty smoothly without her.
At 7:45 PM, CJ finished her work for the day and looked at the clock. 'Should I, shouldn't I?' She considered. It sounded too much like the infamous saying 'Damned if I do, damned if I don't.'
"Yep," CJ said out loud to her empty office, "that pretty much covers it."
Josh's words of advice entered her mind. How did she know she was making the right decision if she really had little to base that decision on? Her only reason not to see Danny socially seemed to be because of their jobs. CJ had better reasons to want to go out with him, his wit, his smile, his intelligence, his understanding and kindness. What she needed was more…personal reasons why it wouldn't work between them.
She could give Danny his "chance" like Josh said. She could talk with him and get to know Danny better and then it would simply support the decision not to date.
CJ figured, 'Danny can't possibly be that charming and sweet all the time. And perhaps he'll come to realize that I'm wrong for him too.' Convinced she was meeting Danny for purely innocent, proper reasons, CJ grabbed her keys and left her office.
She drove the short 10 minutes to a pub called Harpoon's. It was old, dim, and had a bad version of '10,000 Leagues Under the Sea' theme inside. She found a booth in the right place with curly, red hair visible just above the high wood back. As she approached, CJ saw a beer and a blue Mets hat on the table in front of Danny.
"That's you're debate cap?" She shook her head and sat down across from him. "You really can't do any better than that?"
"Not on short notice. I had briefings to attend all day, they drown on and on." Danny was smiling so she knew he was teasing.
CJ warned him anyway, "Hey, watch it. You know, I've been meaning to ask you-"
The waiter's arrival to take her drink order cut her off. She ordered a Grasshopper, Danny suggested an appetizer but she said no. She didn't want this to turn into a date.
"You've been meaning to ask me something?" He asked once the waiter left their table.
"Why aren't you in Panama?"
"Thanks for the disappointment that I'm not out of the country right now." Danny said in a dry tone. Then he shrugged and watched his beer as it swirled in the glass. "I don't know, Mitch wanted to go and I wanted to stay, so it worked out that way."
"Did you stay for some important reason, working on a story?" CJ tried.
"Yep," He paused long enough to take sip. "Story's called 'There's a woman I know playing hard to get.'" There was no getting around an issue with Danny, he was a dogged reporter even when he wasn't working.
The waiter brought her drink as CJ said flatly, "I am NOT playing hard to get. I don't want you to have the wrong idea about tonight. I haven't changed my mind. I still think it's a bad idea for us to date no matter how nice it might be. But I feel there is no reason I can't get to know you better, so that's all this is."
"You think it would be 'nice'?"
"Danny," CJ warned while cursing herself for letting that slip out. She sampled her drink.
"OK," Danny replied.
"So… Tell me about why you choose to be a journalist?" CJ took another sip as he began to talk. He told her about college. He started as a Biology major intending to be a vet but he failed Chemistry and loved the Creative Writing course he took. Plus, a cute girl sat next to him. She raised her eyebrow at that, but continued to listen.
Danny explained how in Dallas he met his idol, a former White House correspondent whom afterwards became editor of the paper there. He taught Danny all about following stories and writing for the common reader.
"Those times in Dallas where important to me… Anyway, tell me about deciding to be a press secretary?"
CJ finished her drink. Danny signaled the waiter and ordered another round. She told him about being a PR major in college so she had time to go to her boyfriend's rock band every night. The boyfriend convinced her to dye her hair pink. Danny's eyes went wide at that.
"Oh, that shocks you? That's nothing," CJ admitted, smiling wide. The second round of drinks arrived and they exchanged most outrageous and most embarrassing moments. He had CJ laughing at the time he forgot his pants in the laundry and ran from his hotel room to meet the Ambassador of Mexico for an interview. She told him about the time she backed her boyfriend's car into a lake and then asked him to take her to the prom.
"Did he take you?" Danny asked.
"No, are you kidding? It was a Porsche, he broke up with me."
"Oh, that's horrible," Danny admitted. "Wait, I got a better one…" Soon he had her laughing more and they were both having a third drink.
CJ found out he also liked blues music. Danny discovered she also loved to read spy novels and they both thought 'When Harry Met Sally' was a great movie.
She had a cat named Cleo, he had a mother who loved cats and therefore, he had four growing up.
"All four liked to sleep in my bed. By the age of 10, I was big enough that there was no room in the bed for me."
The waiter brought a fourth drink for each of them. Danny told her about his older brother dying in a car accident at the age of 17. CJ told Danny about her sister becoming pregnant in college. She drove her sister to the clinic where she had an abortion and took care of her afterwards. Danny told her about getting his heart broken so badly that he was never again able to completely trust the women he dated.
"You intimidate me," he confessed.
"Why?"
"Because you are everything I would ever hope for. But I told myself that you were too special to pas on without a fight. Boy, did I pick the one woman who could put up a fight!" He chucked and took the last sip of his beer.
By now, the alcohol was working in CJ's veins and was making her think and talk in ways she would usually restrain herself from. It was the only circumstance in which she could admit, "Well, I want to tell you something. You are the sweetest, most charming man I know. Any woman would be lucky to have you."
"Thanks."
The waiter came over to their table and took the empty glasses in front of them.
"Bring the check and call us a cab?" Danny asked the waiter.
"You know, it's not just the work thing," in a quiet voice CJ admitted. "I'm used to always being in control. With you I…God, even being in the room with you throws me off balance. And your so, your so in control that it gets me… you really irritate me sometimes, Danny."
The waiter came back with the check. As they got up to leave, CJ couldn't walk with coordination. She giggled when Danny held her steady all the way out to the waiting cab. When they reached her place, Danny took her up to her apartment and helped her inside.
"Danny?" CJ turned the lights on.
"Hmm?" He answered, trying to get her keys out of the lock. He was still distracted by what she told him tonight. CJ on the other hand, having admitted everything in her heart to Danny, now felt light and giddy. Also, a little drunk.
"Com're." She grabbed his shirt and yanked Danny toward her. She kissed him hard on the lips and put her arms around his waist.
"CJ," he tried to say with her mouth still on his.
She had her hands on his butt and was causing some of his lower body to come alive. He was a man, and she was a beautiful woman that he did have a thing for. Danny was about to give in, but reality pricked at his consciousness. As much as he wanted CJ, even more, he knew this wasn't the way it should happen.
"CJ, I'm flattered, but you're drunk. I should have been paying attention to that but I was caught up in our conversation and I was only drinking beer while you were drinking liquor. I didn't even think that it was hitting you harder-"
She used her fingers to make teasing circles over the fly of his pants, and that stopped Danny's rambling.
She giggled and said, "Come on. I want to show you my room." Danny took three deep breaths and forced himself to think of ice cubes and snow and cold, cold, cold.
"CJ, I've really got to go." He went out the door, back down to the waiting cab and told the driver to speed to his apartment before he took another breath.
That night, Danny lay in his bed with his head stuffed into a pillow. It was the hardest decision of his life, he had wanted to stay with CJ but knew he shouldn't. There were many things he now understood about her after tonight. But a few confessions still had his mind turning in circles.
The next morning, CJ was late to work, nursing a stomach that was on a Tilt-a-Whirl ride. She remembered every detail very clearly and wasn't the least embarrassed about her behavior. But, she was mad at Danny's behavior. Mad at a man who had been clearly interested in her for months, kissed her several times, asked her out at least 73 times, and when she finally gave in last night, he left her cold. She felt stupid and most likely the brunt of some joke or payoff for a bet in the pressroom right now.
Carol was showing her pictures of the new baby and CJ tried sounding interested. "She is the cutest baby ever," CJ told Carol and then left her for morning staff.
The day went forward dully. She called Josh at lunch and he spouted all sorts of weird statistics from the magazine she'd brought him, like Notre Dame's record in the state of New Jersey.
"11-0, you would have never guessed that, would you?" He sounded so interested that CJ vowed to herself to bring Madame Bovary to Josh the next visit.
But CJ dutifully sounded interested and impressed, "No, never would have guessed."
"What gives? Oh, it didn't go so well with Danny?" Josh teased her, never realizing he'd guessed correctly.
"OK, Joshua, I gotta go now. I'll talk to you later." She got off the phone before having to hear that man's name again.
At 3:30 PM, the dreaded name showed up in person at her office door.
"Go away," CJ said, never looking away from her computer screen.
"Look, CJ, I think we need to talk." Danny tried to enter the room but the tone of her voice stopped him.
"That's exactly what got the whole mess started yesterday." She kept typing her notes as she talked, "I do not want to repeat that performance."
"I understand that you are embarrassed, that's why I wanted to-"
She cut him off, "WHAT?"
CJ stood and crossed the small room in three strides. She pulled him inside, slammed the door and turned to Danny with her finger pointed.
"I am not embarrassed. I had fun last night. But YOU, you did this for some reason. To make fun of me? To get me to tell you all my dark secrets for some column? So you could get a laugh with your buddies?"
"CJ, what in the world are you talking about?" She gave him credit for being a good actor, Danny truly looked the part of a confused innocent. But it blew her fuse, or what was remaining of it.
"OUT, OUT, OUT. Don't EVER come back here again. I have nothing to say to you except in the pressroom. OUT!" CJ opened the door, pushed Danny through it, and slammed it in his face.
"Want to see the pictures of my new niece?" Carol asked Danny.
CJ was on autopilot for the next three days. Working, meetings, briefings, going home very late and right to bed. Danny never came to her office, never even asked a question during a briefing, and she began to pretend that life was normal. But her anger turned into pity, than pain, than a desire to talk to him about the whole mess with her voice closer to a normal volume level.
On Friday night, she left work and drove through the dark streets. His house was a brown brick building divided into two floors. Danny had the top floor and she climbed the side steps and knocked. He opened the door and didn't hide his surprise at seeing her. His red hair was even messier than at work and he was wearing ragged, casual clothes.
"Hey," he said in that warm, inviting tone that always made her stomach drop a few inches.
"I just, I wanted to…Um, can I come in?"
"Sure," Danny stepped aside and CJ began to pass, but tripped on the corner of the entry rug. He caught her by putting his arm around her. CJ straightened herself and looked up to Danny's twinkling eyes.
She smiled, "When I'm nervous-"
"You get clumsy, I know," he finished for her. "Can I get you something to drink?"
"NO." CJ said a little louder than she had intended.
He smiled in understanding and said, "Kay."
She sat on the couch and Danny turned the volume off the baseball game he was watching then sat in the armchair. They both waited for the other to say something. CJ was thinking how sexy he looked.
"Do you want me?" She blurted out.
"Yes," Danny admitted and CJ's eyes shot to his.
He didn't laugh at her. He didn't take her as a bumbling fool who could never handle men she was interested in with anything above a fourth grade level of intellect.
"Yes," Danny said again, a little louder. "I wanted you all last year, I wanted you at the State Dinner, the week after the shooting, I wanted you the other night when I left, I want you now." He paused for nearly 15 seconds, "But I don't want you when it's just a drunken one-night stand that you'll regret."
Things in CJ's head clicked into place. She had built up a huge conspiracy theory and then got angry and yelled at him when all he was trying to do was be considerate. The more she learned about him this week the more she wanted to be with him. It was exactly the opposite of what she thought would be the result of getting to know him better. Shouldn't that be her decision? Maybe Josh knew more than she gave him credit for, boy that was a terrifying thought.
"When you left that night, I was angry. I thought…I don't know what I thought. I was hurt." She admitted.
"CJ, the last thing I want to do is hurt you." He moved to the couch to sit next to her. "I'm not trying to ruin your career or force you to lose control of your life. I just want to be a part of it."
'Here it goes, I'm taking the plunge Ladies and Gentleman,' CJ thought and took a deep breath.
Then she said to Danny, "There are things between us that I can't deny anymore. With everything that's happened, the shooting, Josh, I can't help thinking I shouldn't keep putting my life off until…until." She broke off and Danny took her in his arms. After a minute, she whispered, "I want a chance for us."
"OK," he soothed her with his hands on her back. "OK." When they both seemed to be recovered, CJ leaned back on the couch to look at him.
She took a few deep breaths and said, "You understand it's going to be slow."
"I know. CJ, I care about you, just keep reminding yourself that."
"Explain this game to me, because I think it makes no sense at all." She nodded toward the TV and he grabbed the remote to turn the volume up. It was a tape from earlier that day; Danny had looked forward to watching tonight. But it was more fun making her laugh than paying close attention to the game.
Two hours later, CJ was dozing off with her head resting on Danny's shoulder and his arm draped around her. The announcers were recapping the game statistics as the Mets got the final out at first.
"CJ," he whispered into her ear and squeezed her slightly but got no response. He clicked off the TV, got her a blanket and a pillow, and helped her get comfortable on the couch, all without waking her. Then, he got into his own bed and forced himself to not think of her so nearby.
CJ woke early on Saturday morning and slipped into Danny's bedroom. He looked so cute asleep she couldn't wake him. She wrote a quick note, put it on the bathroom sink and left his place.
After stopping at home for a shower and to change into something more appropriate for the office than the tee shirt and tan shorts she'd worn to Danny's last night, she arrived in the West Wing by 9 AM.
Danny woke up in an empty apartment. 'It was either a dream or she freaked out this morning when she woke up,' he contemplated. He went into the bathroom to wash his face and found a note on the sink in large swooping handwriting.
Danny-
I had to get home and change before work.
Visit my office, we'll schedule another "meeting" soon.
-CJ
Danny smiled and whistled while he showered and dressed for the day.
The President's chopper from the airport landed on the White House Lawn only 15 minutes behind schedule at 9:35 AM. CJ and Sam greeted Leo, Toby, the President and his wife in front of photographers and the group entered the Oval office talking at the same time. Abby Bartlet kissed her husband and excused herself. The President turned to his staff and began the meeting.
The President cut through the chatter, "CJ, anything major going on with anyone from the press?" CJ turned six shades of red.
"CJ?" The President raised his eyebrows at her. She knew he was only finding out if there were upcoming stories he should know about, but CJ found the situation more difficult than she had anticipated.
"No, Sir," she managed to stumble out.
Sam gave her a funny look, than added, "Josh is up walking the halls now, Sir." They all smiled at the good news and the President's relief was evident.
"Okay, what's next?" Toby began rambling about some Senate committee and Leo asked Sam to meet with an environmental group on Monday. The meeting finished with the President returning to the residence to see Zoey.
CJ walked back to her office through a rather empty bullpen. On Saturdays, the senior staff was always in the West Wing but only a few of the rest of the staff came in.
CJ was reading a report Toby handed her during the staff meeting as she entered her office. Therefore, she didn't see Danny sitting in her chair, tapping at the side of Gail's bowl.
"Hi, gorgeous," Danny greeted her.
CJ's head flew up and she swung the door shut behind her, hard. Not many staff where here but it would only take one of them listening in. The embarrassment in the meeting a short time ago was also still on her mind. It wasn't that she wanted to take back what happened last night, it was just that maybe they needed some rules, some boundaries.
"You know, I've been thinking…" She started to say.
Danny cut her off, "Don't do that." CJ frowned at him.
"You don't want me to think?" She was beginning to wonder if he wanted a blonde-bimbo-Sam-style girl when Danny finished his thought.
"Don't think too much about us. It's too early in this to do that."
"But Danny, I really think that we need to be careful, I was just in a meeting and I-"
Danny cut her off again, "CJ, I mean it. You over-analyze everything." His eyes settled on her lips. She sighed, it was difficult to concentrate when he looked at her like that.
CJ took his hand and led him to the small couch in her office where they sat down. She said, "I meant what I said last night. But, I'm concerned, that's all. I'm concerned about work and our reputations and it's just not easy to…"
CJ couldn't find the words because she wasn't sure herself what she was feeling. She wanted to be with Danny, but it didn't seem like it was that simple. In the daylight there were a thousand other considerations she had forgotten about last night.
"That is exactly what I'm saying." Danny said softly, "Don't think about it, don't over-analyze, you'll drive yourself crazy and ruin us before we even have a chance to get started. We said last night we're going to go slow, OK?" She looked up into his eyes.
Danny expected CJ to have concerns, to get nervous about their having a relationship. He had concerns too, but CJ was less able to take a chance, less willing to put her job and reputation on the line, less able to jump into something without fully analyzing all possible consequences. He just hoped he knew how to handle it right. If he didn't this whole thing was going to crumble fast.
Danny watched her think through what he'd just said.
"Yeah, you're right," she finally said, and Danny took a deep breath.
"Good."
"What did you come in here for?"
"Because I didn't get to do this when I woke up," he leaned in and kissed her.
The return of the President also meant the return of CJ's crazy schedule and long hours. The following week was complicated by a heated scuffle at the UN, the stock market steadily dropped each day, and a DC-10 crashed on its way to Houston from Miami killing all 426 on board. Her briefings were depressing.
On Friday night, close to midnight, CJ sat at her desk. With her coat off, sleeves rolled up, shoes discarded to the corner of her office, her hair pulled back in a clip and her glasses on, she was reading boring reports.
Danny appeared at the door. He really hadn't seen CJ this week, except at her briefings. He pulled a grease-covered bag out from behind his back.
"Tony's cheesesteaks," he waved the bag back and forth. CJ hadn't eaten since noon, when she stuffed a muffin in her mouth at a meeting with Mrs. Bartlet and her staff about Christmas decorations in the White House.
They sat on the floor and she spilled her bad day to him. It wasn't just planning Christmas decorations in the middle of July that bothered her. Sometimes she felt like a cruise director. And when the rest of the senior staff where meeting with Middle East experts, her meeting picked a theme for this year's White House tree.
"I got a master's degree just to suggest evergreen colored candles for the Blue room and white ones in the dinning room." CJ said while chewing. It felt good to have him listen to her vent.
Danny could read her need to lighten things up. He told her how fast Santa's reindeer must travel in order to visit all the countries in one night.
"You know, you're beginning to sound as nerdy as the President," She warned him.
"Yeah, but I'm a lot cuter." Danny winked at her.
"Yes you are." She smiled. "By the way, want to come over next Saturday? I'll cook." She offered. Danny finished chewing and was about to answer when there was a knock at the door.
It swung open, Toby saw them, and looked down at his shoes. "Ah, CJ, there's a thing. We've got to…" Toby scratched at his forehead than waved a finger vaguely in a direction down the hall.
"OK," CJ said and stood up.
"Hey, Danny." Toby acknowledged while he walked off with CJ following him.
"Good to see you too, Toby." Danny shook his head and returned to the press area to prepare for CJ's eventual statement on whatever the "thing" was Toby interrupted them for.
"What was that?" Toby asked her, after Leo briefed them on what was happening in the Sit. Room and they were walking back to his office.
"What was what?" CJ asked distracted.
"You, Danny, your office…" Toby shrugged and didn't finish.
"Yeah, Toby, it was a good thing you came in when you did." CJ looked at him. "Cuz you know, we were about to rip each other's clothes off and have passionate sex right there on my office floor. Good thing you stepped in just in time." CJ was getting angry, but the humor of what she'd just said not being completely out of the realm of possibilities didn't escape her.
"I'm just saying, you shouldn't be…" Toby was rubbing at his forehead, his nervous habit, showing CJ he was incredibly uncomfortable with their conversation.
"I shouldn't be what? I dare you to finish that statement. It was cheesesteaks, Toby, I hadn't eaten for like a Millennium and I was hungry. So, I shouldn't what?" Sam had drifted in from somewhere to witness the argument.
"Nothing. Forget it." Toby turned a back to her and picked up some files. "Here they are, Sam."
CJ huffed and stormed from his office to hers, slammed her door, and threw herself onto her couch. She'd just defended her and Danny for the first time. She'd better get good at it, because it was about to happen all the time.
The following Saturday morning, in the middle of the busy Washington Post newsroom, Danny thumped his pen on the edge of his desk. His mind was on CJ. It had been all week. She'd worn a long green skirt yesterday and matching blouse. Green was a great color on her and the skirt kind of clung to her in all the right places. He had a hard time focusing on the things she was saying in her briefings.
Boy, would CJ kill him if she knew what was on his mind at the Thursday morning briefing when she explained the Republican's proposed heath care bill called "The Bedside Plan."
Danny had been indulging in looking at CJ and thinking of her in ways he never would have allowed himself before the night she came over. Since then he'd worn a permanent smile.
They had been getting to know each other and besides some stolen kisses, it was all very innocent. But tonight Danny was coming over to her place for dinner. Tonight was a big step but he just wasn't sure how big.
Was CJ expecting him to stay the night? His desire for her was apparent by all the daydreaming he was doing. But at the same time, he was willing to wait a little longer. CJ was nervous about their relationship and they had decided to go slow. But she invited him over for dinner. The mixed signals were killing him.
Danny wished, not for the first time in his life, that dating women came with a handbook. He would name it 'Know women as if you were one but really want to still be a guy so you can date them and….' Wait, that was too long. Anyway, you could look up something like 'Dinner at her place' and it would tell you what the woman expected from you. Without this handbook, he had no idea what tonight was going to turn out like. Except that he was spending it with CJ and that meant it would be wonderful.
Kyle, a fellow reporter who covered the Hill, sat at his desk across the small aisle and looked up from his laptop to observe his friend. It wasn't just the annoying, nervous pen tapping. Danny's head was turned away from the wall of TV's tuned to news and weather stations. His eyes weren't on the assignment board or on his computer screen, or on any of the papers in haphazard stacks littering the surface in front of him. He was actually staring off into space. In five years, he'd never known Danny to daydream.
Kyle smirked, "Danny, got a hot date tonight?" Danny's eyes shot to Kyle, he dropped his pen and in going to grab for it, knocked about 2 tons of papers off his desk.
Kyle was surprised at being able to rattle the normally unshakable Senior Correspondent Daniel Concannon. That meant his guess must have been dead-on. "Who is she?"
Danny was really thrown and Kyle was chuckling at him now.
"Kyle, I just," Danny shook his head, "I've got a lot on my mind." His tone was a little harsher than he should be to his friend. He packed up his laptop and stuffed some of the fallen papers into his case. "I got a briefing to get to."
An hour later at the White House, CJ walked into the pressroom and up to the podium. Her comments where short and than she began fielding questions. Danny's hand shot up.
"Danny."
"Will the President bring any personal agenda to the up-coming G8 summit?"
"At the meeting the President will discuss many of the issues he's been supporting for years."
"CJ," Danny's voice warned her not to take his question as silly.
"Danny, he's attending, there's a prearranged agenda. He will be discussing those issues like everyone else there."
"And only those issues?" Danny demanded before she could call on someone else.
CJ paused for the smallest part of a second before she lied, "Yes. Anyone else? Charlene."
CJ left the room, Toby was waiting for her. "Any reason they're a little hostile today?" Toby asked while nodding his head toward the pressroom.
"They've just heard that I wasn't picked for the cover of the next SI swimsuit edition and they're disappointed."
"Judge Caufield's dead."
"Thank God."
"CJ."
"What?"
"The man's dead."
"Yeah but he hated women, Toby. I am a woman, since you've never noticed. He supported, among other things, making it illegal for woman to go to college or have a job after having children. Are you getting this? He wanted me in jail because I went to college. I'm saying he was like 324 years old and everyone thought his ideas were out-dated and I'm sorry for his family but I'm glad he's gone."
"Do you feel better now?" Toby handed her some files.
"Yes."
"You shouldn't speak ill of the dead because then he'll come back to haunt you. According to my Grandmother."
"Thank you for introducing that into my normal rotation of nightmares." She said as they arrived at her office.
"Also, I did notice you are a woman. For the record, it was about 6 months ago."
Leo knocked on the doorframe, interrupting them. "You happy about Caufield?" He asked CJ, smiling because he already knew her answer.
"Ya think," CJ responded dryly.
"Please try to sound sorry about it in front of the press."
"Yeah."
"Also, I forgot to tell you before, you can let the G8 thing out. The President wants this idea introduced well before hand so no one is shocked when he and the Prime Minister introduce it. Just leak it to a few of them this afternoon."
"OK."
The afternoon flew by for CJ. She'd spoken with Kenny from the Times and Jack from CNN about the large international aid package going Africa to fight the AIDS epidemic that would be announced at the G8. She'd somehow gotten calls from the EPA that were supposed to be for Sam. And someone had overheard an apparently private conversation in which the President suggested what he'd like to do to the Fed chairmen, which had taken some unique twisting. Finally, there was only one thing left, one more person to call in about the G8 thing.
"Carol, I'm ready for Danny now," CJ yelled out her door, trying not to think about the unprofessional interpretations of that statement.
CJ had purposely left Danny for last. Mostly out of nerves. She'd asked him spontaneously to come over for dinner tonight and then only later realized the implications of it.
CJ wanted him, but now? Tonight? How did he feel? Ready? Rushed? She had promised Danny not to over-analyze and yet she couldn't help it. Maybe they could talk about it.
"You wanted to see me." Danny entered her office. She got up and closed the door behind him. He took the opportunity to lean into her and with her back against the door, he kissed her on the mouth. Maybe it was the green skirt yesterday or the fact that they both were nervous about tonight, but the kiss escalated. Their tongues where dueling, her hands moved down his back, his hands in her hair. After a minute they pulled back from each other to catch their breath.
"That actually wasn't why I called you in here," She said in a ragged voice.
"Can you even remember?"
"I'm having a hard time remembering my name right now."
"Claudia Jean," he whispered while touching his lips to her neck and then her chin.
"Ummmm. Danny."
"No, that's my name." Danny teased while planting more kisses on her cheek. "Try again."
There was a knock near CJ's shoulder blade and they both jumped apart. Carol's voice came through the closed door.
"CJ, you have staff in 5 minutes."
CJ closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "OK, thanks Carol."
"I'll see you tonight then?" Danny asked. She could detect a little tentativeness in his voice.
"7:00 PM," she said, her heart still racing. CJ walked down the hall feeling off-balance and muttering to herself, "Damn him when he does that to me."
At 6:55 PM, CJ was dashing around her apartment. She had gotten home from the store an hour ago and started dinner. Then showered and changed from work clothes into a casual cotton sundress that came almost to her knees. She knew it would surprise him, he'd never seen this much of her skin before. CJ lit candles and turning the stereo on.
Somewhere in between the produce section and the cat food isle CJ decided not to be nervous about tonight, she was going to have fun and let happen whatever happens. After all, that interlude in her office today wasn't all bad. More of that same thing would be even better.
Cleo dashed from her bedroom and sat down near the front door. That meant the cat could hear someone coming. CJ took a deep breath and smoothed her hair. There was a knock.
"Hi," she smiled warmly as she swung open the door for Danny.
He entered and looked around the apartment thinking, 'How could she act so innocent about it?'
CJ noticed he wasn't smiling or responding, "Something wrong?"
"Maybe I should ask my question again Ms. Press Secretary. Will the President bring any personal agenda to the up-coming G8 Summit?" Gears inside CJ's head clicked, wheels turned, and her heart stopped as she realized what happened.
"Oh, no. Danny, I didn't-"
"You tossed my question aside as silly in the pressroom, then leaked the answer to my colleagues, CJ, how could you do that?"
"It wasn't like that-"
"You weren't just unprofessional, it's more than that. You know, you've always worried about my using our relationship to get a story. You turn around and use me, how ironic."
"I called you into my office to tell you. Then you started to kiss me and I couldn't even remember why I asked you to come-"
"So this is somehow my fault?" Danny was astounded.
"Yes, you do that, Danny. You make me lose focus. I tried to tell you two weeks ago we needed boundaries at work. I tried to tell you that this very thing was the reason I was nervous about our having a relationship but you wouldn't listen." Her voice was becoming intense and edgy. "You told me not to think. Do you want some bimbo without a brain? Because you wouldn't be the first to walk away from me for that very reason."
"Wow, that was awfully easy for you, 'Just go away Danny. It's all your fault Danny.'" He imitated her voice then shook his head and continued, "My worst fear come true. You wanted to have some fun with me and then when it gets too difficult or you are just tired of me, you dismiss me." His face was turning red with anger. "CJ, if you're gonna use me and toss me aside, just do it now 'cuz I knew I would be the only one who got hurt."
His voice fell from anger to sadness. "You have never let anyone in before, have you? Just toss them aside before they have that chance."
"Stop it." She yelled out, "JUST STOP IT."
"No, I won't. It's true. You don't want to lose control because you don't want to get hurt. But how is it OK to hurt me, CJ? How do you justify that to yourself?"
"It's not like that Danny. It's not." They stood facing each other. Danny still wore his coat and his face was hot with anger and pain. CJ's eyes were red-rimmed and she was shaking.
Finally she spoke, now in a more normal tone. "I did not do it on purpose. Leo told me after the briefing that I was allowed to leak it. You were one of three, but before I could I got…a little sidetracked." She looked down at her hands shaking. "Then when Carol almost caught us, talk about worst fears, if people at work found out after I've been specifically told not to-" She caught herself.
"You've been told not to date member of the press?"
"Not to date you," CJ corrected. His eyes grew wide in disbelief.
"Why?"
"Please," she sighed, "I am sorry, Danny, I never wanted to hurt you. It's not a fling, just to toss you aside when I'm done, it's more than that to me. If you don't trust me then maybe you should leave."
CJ started shaking even more. "If you do," her voice had dropped to just above a whisper now, "it will hurt me. And you will be the one hurting me, will that make you feel better?"
'Wait till he leaves, than I can cry,' she told herself, unwilling to lose it in front of him.
"No," His voice was ragged. "I don't want to hurt you."
"Can we just sit? For a little?"
They walked to the couch and sat down. The music from her stereo played low in the background and they both took long cleansing breaths for several minutes. Finally, he squeezed her hand and she looked up at him.
"I am sorry too. Maybe you are right that we need to have boundaries at work. I just like coming in and stealing kisses so much that I didn't want to stop." Danny gave her a half-smile and she nodded.
"Some of what you said is true, maybe I've learned to keep men at a distance. But I don't want to do that with you." She said, "I like that you make me melt, just not when I'm supposed to be focused."
"You sure you want me to stick around, if you needed time…" Danny was giving her a way out, now that the argument had passed.
"No, actually, I really would like you to stay a while."
"Good," Danny said, "and I've been anxious to ask you, exactly how devastated are you over Caulfield's death?"
"Oh, traumatized," CJ teased back.
Danny took off his coat and looked around her apartment. They talked about her paintings on the walls, the pictures of her family framed and displayed on the bookshelf. They spent the evening eating and joking. By midnight, CJ was looking pretty haggard but in better spirits.
"CJ, I said things I didn't mean."
"Yeah, I know. Me too and I am sorry."
Danny gave her a light kiss goodnight and left. CJ collapsed into bed. Part of her still felt like crying because tonight had been a huge disappointment. She hurt him without meaning too. He hurt her with the things he'd said, and then he'd almost left her. They were angry with each other but they also didn't let it get too far. It was a good sign that in the middle of the whole mess they both cared enough not to let an argument pull them completely apart.
The following week they both tried to make it up to each other. CJ left a copy of "When Harry met Sally" on his desk on Monday. On Tuesday, she found and a tape of him attempting to sing "I've Got You Babe" in her car. A postcard arrived in the mail on Wednesday for him with only on a heart drawn on the back. A delicate gold bracelet was hidden in her top desk drawer on Thursday morning. On Friday, he stopped by after work and brought food and wine and they watched the movie together. CJ put the bracelet on and never took it of.
Over the next several weeks, CJ and Danny visited Josh in the hospital, went to movies or to dinner straight from work, and spent time hanging out at home together. The time alone was precious and sweet. They were always careful and so far, no one had seemed to notice or care they were together.
One Friday evening in September, CJ left work early. In her bedroom at home, a black tank top, a low cut green dress, two pairs of shoes, a flowered skirt, a white blouse, a teal cotton shirt and a pair of tan shorts were all scattered across her bed.
In the mirror, CJ was examining the outfit she was currently wearing, a spaghetti strap cranberry silk shirt, a gray cotton skirt and black strappy sandals. She wasn't sure how dressed up or down she was supposed to be, Danny had been very mysterious about tonight. This was the first time he was coming over to formally pick up CJ and take her somewhere, so it felt more like a first date. The last time she felt this way or engaged in clothes fretting was sometime in high school.
CJ tried convincing herself it was because she didn't know where they were going tonight, because of the unseasonable 80 degree weather that had everyone happy this week, because things at work had gone so well lately. But she knew it wasn't any of these things. She was falling in love.
It was so easy. Danny was fun and playful and they had the same sense of humor. His touch was gentle and at the same time set her on fire. In fact, it was becoming more and more difficult to leave him and sleep alone after they'd gone out. At one time, CJ was nervous and unsure about taking things to the next step with Danny. Now, there was no doubt.
These last months, Danny lived to see CJ smile or hear her laugh or tease her and get the same in return. Touching her was driving him crazy. Never before had he experienced such passion-filled dreams at night. It was taking all his strength to pay attention to her voice not her body during briefings. He wanted to take things further. Her kisses where so full of fire and promise that he thought she might also be ready.
Danny had talked to his Mom yesterday on the phone and called CJ 'his girlfriend' for the first time. It felt good. It felt right, but then, everything about CJ felt right.
Danny stopped at a corner florist on his way to CJ's. He'd never bought her flowers before and felt it was long overdue. He whistled as he entered the shop. Roses, carnations, nothing he saw seemed right. Then he noticed a bunch of white daises with baby's breath. It was perfect. Just like her, it caught his eye among all the other flowers to choose from.
CJ piled all her curled hair on the top of her head and put hairpins in it. She was applying make-up when Danny knocked at the door.
"Hello, Beautiful." Danny greeted her and kissed her cheek, then presented the flowers.
"Thank you." She gave him a smile and disappeared into the kitchen to find a vase.
"Are you almost ready?" He asked while giving the purring Cleo some attention.
They left her apartment and Danny drove quite a distance. When they arrived at their destination, he got out and held the door for CJ. A valet took his keys and Danny held her hand as they walked inside the restaurant.
The building was made of worn, gray boards and was situated right on the water. They were led to the back and out the back door. Outside, a small deck had been built over the water and the waves broke on pillions beneath their feet. It was a warm night, the sun was setting and the sky was pink and orange and mixed with the blue of the ocean. After the waiter presented their menus and left them alone, CJ commented on them being alone on the deck.
"It's such a great night, I wonder why no one else wanted to sit out here."
Danny tried hiding his smile, he asked, "Do you like it?"
"Yes. It's wonderful." She glowed with happiness. They ordered crab and shrimp, salads and a bottle of wine and took their time eating the meal. It was delicious. They talked about Josh's slow improvements and the sunset. He teased her about showing too much leg.
"Hey, that's not fair. It's all I'm made of." CJ threw back at him.
"Yeah, believe me, I've noticed. I just don't want anyone else to." She raised an eyebrow at him. "Those legs are MINE babe." Danny gave her two thumbs up and she laughed out loud.
"It is strange that no one else is out here, it's so beautiful." She looked out across the water when it suddenly made sense.
"You set this up." CJ said as she turned and pinned him with her eyes. "Did you pay them for the whole deck?" She knew she'd caught him.
Danny only smiled as a response and took the last sip of his wine. CJ watched his twinkling eyes, his hair and beard were trimmed and his clothes weren't wrinkled tonight. He had gone out of his way to make this special for her.
She was thinking it, and somehow, it just popped out of her mouth before she knew it. "I love you."
It was so clearly the truth, so plain in her eyes that there was no doubt she meant it. He took her hand and brought it to his lips.
"I was going to tell you tonight." Danny kissed her hand, "Thanks for scooping me, CJ."
The waiter hovered nearby and Danny motioned for him. "Could we take our dessert home please?"
They went back to his place. Once inside, he put his arms around her.
"CJ, I love you, too. I think I have for a long time now." He spoke softly and kissed her cheek. She moved her hands up his arms, into his hair, and pulled him closer to kiss his lips.
"Danny, I want you tonight."
"Ummhumm." He replied while keeping his lips on her. She tugged him toward the bedroom.
They rolled around on his bed, undressing and giggling and kissing. It was frantic at first after all the tension that had built between them. Then they slowed and enjoyed discovering each other in new ways. As new lovers they spent most of the night exploring and coming together, never feeling tired.
Well into the night, CJ dozed off in his arms. Danny felt alive and happy and in love, he squeezed the naked body intertwined with his and closed his eyes to dream.
In the weeks following 'the big date' CJ found that her early concerns about the relationship were now non-existent. Spending nights together a few times a week was enough for her to be able to concentrate when she was at work.
Danny also found that by living his fantasies at night, he could focus during the day on other things more easily. Plus, CJ was getting good at being able to tell when his mind was wondering the wrong way during briefings. Once, she called on him when he didn't have a hand up, interrupting his improper thoughts, and making him scramble to come up with a question.
After four months together, Danny and CJ were having dinner at Harpoon's, it was becoming a favorite because it was close to work, secluded, and served good food. He was telling her about when he was age seven, chasing squirrels with his brother in the field near his house. He tripped on a tree root, broke his ankle and spent two weeks home from school that September. "The one bad part was-" Danny was interrupted in the middle of the story.
"Hey!" Mallory, Leo's daughter, spotted them and came up to the table. "How's it going, CJ?"
"Fine, Mallory, you remember Danny Concannon, one of the White House reporters?" CJ introduced them trying to act natural and unaffected.
"Oh, yes. I remember now, I knew you looked familiar." She smiled and shook his hand.
"Join us?" Danny offered. CJ's eyes flared, she knew he was only being polite but it went too far.
"Mallory's probably here with someone else. We wouldn't want to bore her with complaints about her father's tyranny." CJ said and smiled at Mallory, trying to appear as normal as possible. She really wanted to kick Danny.
"I'm on a date. But thanks for the offer. As for the complaints, I'd probably share them with you, CJ." She finished with a laugh and waved as she left them alone.
CJ put her forehead on the wood table and knocked her head against it a few times for punishment.
After the meal, Danny returned with CJ to her apartment. When they entered, he pulled her into his arms and began to kiss her neck. He loved her long, graceful neck and he had learned it was a particularly sensitive area of her body.
CJ sighed, unbuttoned his jacket and took it off. She took hers off as well and put them both over the chair in her entry. She locked the door and flipped the light switch. It turned on two lamps in the living room and track lighting over the counter dividing the room from the kitchen. She pushed the start button on her answering machine.
Danny stood in the same spot, watching CJ go through the motions. He rolled his eyes to heaven. Here he was seducing her and she was so distracted with something on her mind, she forgot he was even in the room. 'The things I put up with to be with this woman…'
"CJ," he said as a message from her sister played in the background. She turned to him as if surprised. "Remember me?" He asked.
"I guess I'm just. I'm… Seeing Mallory threw me tonight, that's all." She admitted while studying her shoes.
"…and I can't wait to meet this 'adorable' man you're seeing when I visit next month. I'll bet he's not that sexy and funny, CJ, you've never been able to pick them very well. We'll just see. Later." CJ's sister finished in the background and the machine beeped and stopped. Danny raised his eyebrow at her. She smiled.
"Adorable? Sexy? The funny part I believe." Danny said with some humor in his voice. She'd never called him sexy or adorable to his face.
"I've got to stop telling my sister things, she has a very big mouth." CJ walked over to him. "You are sexy. You are very adorable. Not always that funny, but you try." She teased as she put her arms around Danny's neck.
"You OK?" He asked carefully.
"Yeah, I'm just going to have to deal with some things at the staff meeting on Monday morning."
Danny pulled CJ close and held tight. Seeing Mallory meant her biggest concern was about to happen, dealing with their relationship at work and possibly in front of the nation. He knew he had to be reassuring.
"Whatever they say to you, remember how adorable I am."
But she wasn't in the mood to laugh. "Could you just hold me tonight?" She asked in a small voice.
Danny squeezed her once more and kissed her forehead. "Sure, come on."
Late Sunday night, while she and Danny were both working on their respective laptops in her living room, she got a phone call from Donna. She told CJ that Josh was going to be released from the hospital in the morning, the staff where meeting there. CJ hung up and Danny looked at her with interest.
"A matter of national security?" He asked. "Cuz I could start writing right now."
"I'm not telling" She stuck her tongue out to complete the effect.
"Ohh, is that an invitation?"
She ignored his innuendo. "Josh is being released in the morning, I'll be in the pressroom by 10 to tell you all about it," she explained.
Monday morning turned out to be more joyous than CJ could have imagined. Josh was beaming, Toby wheeled him outside and along with Sam, helped Josh into the car. Donna was running around like a worried mother. The President and Leo had slipped out the back door of the White House in an unmarked car and now stood off to the side. CJ carried Josh's bag and put it into the trunk. Sam and Donna were going to get him settled in his apartment and come into the office later.
"So, CJ. I had breakfast with my daughter this morning. She was telling me about her date Friday night. Did you have a date Friday night too?" Leo asked causally, a smile flirting on his lips. "You don't have to answer, it's really not any of my business."
"Are you dating someone we know?" Toby asked her pointedly. CJ could feel her heart rate increase and her stomach turn into itself. This was like facing a firing squad.
The President saved her, "Guys, it's time we got back now I think." He turned to the Secret Service waiting and signaled to open the car door. The President, Leo and Toby climbed in and the engine started. CJ stood staring at them as if aliens had jut landed in her front lawn. She pulled keys out of her coat pocket and walked to her car.
Four days passed without any follow-up to what happened. CJ began to think Leo was going to let it drop. He wanted CJ to know he knew, but apparently was going to keep it to himself. At least for now.
On Friday morning, the FBI director was giving the final briefing on the investigation into the shooting. The President gathered his staff into the Oval Office and even had Josh on the speakerphone, hoping that hearing the report would finally give them all some closure. As the director finished up his report, the President dismissed everyone but asked CJ to stay behind.
"Don't think I don't realize," the President told CJ, "what all of you give up to work for me. Your homes, money, personal time and almost your lives, it scares me."
"I know, Sir."
"Please don't give up every good thing in your life on account of me." After a lengthy pause, the President sighed. "I don't suppose I need to say it, but just in case, I believe Danny is a good man. He may not be who I would choose for you, but… I stood up for Leo's choices and for Sam's choices and if necessary, I will for you too. He's a good man."
CJ's heart was pounding. "Thank you."
"And so help me God, if he ever hurts you, Claudia Jean…" The President raised an eyebrow at CJ's smile. "I am the Commander-in-Chief of the most powerful army in the world. I could have the Navy fly over his house, you know, as a warning."
"Thanks for the offer, Sir, but I don't think that's necessary."
"Okay."
"Thank you, Mr. President."
CJ left the Oval Office and traveled the halls of the West Wing with her smile still plastered across her face. She was heading to the press area when Danny intercepted her.
"Hey there, Smiles." Danny greeted her.
"I have an exclusive."
"Oh, yea?"
"Yep, CJ Cregg just received a full Presidential Pardon."
"For-?" He asked. CJ met his eyes. "Oh," Danny said as he got it.
"We should celebrate," CJ suggested.
"Yeah." They came to where the hall splits her office to the left and the pressroom to the right. Danny whispered under his breath as they parted ways, "Tonight, my place."
"Tonight," CJ said to herself as she entered her office.
Part II: Lessons of the FamilyThe doorbell rang. CJ opened it and used it to block herself from Danny's view as he entered. He stepped inside and noticed all the lights were off and a candle on the entry table was lit. She swung the door shut, revealing she was wearing a gold glittering negligee that dipped very low in front and had a slit up the side to her hip.
"Well, hello, Sex Kitten," Danny said and gave her a dazzling smile.
"I'm seducing you." She informed in a voice similar to the one used when explaining the President's stand on trade with China.
"Thanks for the warning." He chuckled and stepped closer to her.
CJ rolled her eyes at his silliness. "I'm just telling you 'cuz I've never done this before."
"That," he pointed to the negligee, "is a good start." Danny moved his arms around her waist. "Why, exactly? Did I win some contest?"
CJ could tell by his teasing tone and the twinkle in his eye that he knew why. He just wanted to hear her say it.
Danny was still rambling on, "Or maybe I'm dreaming, I should pinch myself." He pinched her butt instead.
"Hey, that's me you're pinching."
"Oh, but it's such a cute ass." He moved his hands up her bare back.
She thought, here I try to have a nice, romantic evening and as usual, he keeps joking and teasing and somehow in the middle of it lures me into the bedroom. It was not going to happen that way tonight, 'CJ on a mission' is taking charge.
"Six months ago today, you asked me out," CJ explained.
"I asked you out half a million times, we're not celebrating the anniversary of all of them. We're celebrating that six months ago you finally said yes."
"If you knew than why did you ask?"
"Habit, I do it all day at work. But I get to hear a gorgeous woman give me the answer so I ask anyway."
CJ gave in and laughed at Danny's joke. It was what he'd been trying to do since he came in anyway. He kissed her lips, then on the cheek. But she put her hand on his chest to stop.
CJ reminded him, "I'm supposed to do this."
"What?"
"Danny, I have a plan."
"Oh Lord, help us, she's got a plan." His eyes looked toward the sky as he spoke and she giggled.
"Stop it."
"Okay, okay." Danny gave in. "What's the plan?"
"Get out of your clothes."
"I have to say, I like the plan so far." He followed her to her bedroom, removing his shirt as he went. She turned and unbuttoned his pants and he stepped out of them.
"In here, Fishboy." CJ walked into the master bathroom and he followed.
"You know, I don't think I like you calling me 'Fishboy' when we're about to fool around together."
It was then Danny noticed the room. Candles everywhere, the sink, the floor, and the ledge by the tub. And her bathtub, an old, claw-foot iron tub, was filled with fragrant bubbly water. He looked between it and her a few times. A smirk appeared, "I get to watch you take a bath?"
"Other way around. 'Fishboy' makes some sense now, huh?"
"CJ?" He looked a little nervous.
"Get in," she demanded.
It was not like her to give orders, at least when it came to the intimate side of their relationship. So, Danny figured it was best to obey. He slid under the water. For a while, it remained pretty innocent. She knelt behind the tub and massaged his shoulders then began to wash his hair.
"You do not get to cut it." He informed CJ as she applied conditioner and massaged his scalp. "Your plan better not include relaxing me so much that I allow you to get scissors anywhere near my head. Make that anywhere near me at all."
"Yeah, yeah," said CJ, "scissors wouldn't work anyway, I'd need a mower for this hair." She kissed his shoulder. "I actually like it when it's a little longer, it gets even curlier."
After his hair was rinsed, the important part of CJ's plan was next. She took a deep breath trying to gain her composure, forcing herself not to think about Danny being wet and naked in front of her. She put some liquid soap on her puff and began to wash him, shoulders, back, arms, legs…
It only took about a minute for Danny to last the torturous movements of her hands over his body before he pulled CJ into the water with him. Straddling him on top, they made love slowly.
Even after months together, Danny couldn't quite believe they were together like this, and that his touch could make her shiver with desire. CJ was still surprised each time at how natural and beautiful it felt to be with him. After, she cuddled on his chest with his arms and legs wrapped around her. Eventually, the water grew cold and they moved into the bedroom.
Danny insisted that Elizabeth Dole called Bob Dole 'fishboy' so much that it eventually led to his current problem.
She laughed, "Not true."
"It is true," he kissed her forehead, "I love your laugh."
"I love you too, Fishboy."
"Oh," he made a mock face of shock and fear, "you like old men on viagra or something?"
"I am dating you…" CJ smiled and Danny glared. "OK, OK, OK, I'll think of a new name for you."
"How about Honey? Or Sweetheart?" He tried.
"Your name has to be unique." CJ explained as they got settled under the warm blankets of her bed.
"Goodnight, HONEY."
"Goodnight…" CJ paused, thinking.
"Oh, just go to sleep," he said flatly. Then in a softer voice added, "Thank you for tonight. You've got this seduction thing down."
"Yeah, right." She put her arm around Danny and laid her head on his chest, already halfway to her dreams.
The next morning being Sunday, they usually got to sleep and get into work a few hours later than the rest of the week. In separate cars of course. But today, CJ's sister was arriving at the airport and therefore, CJ was up early making coffee and tidying the apartment.
Sarah Cregg Parker planned be in town for two weeks to attend a medical conference and would be staying with CJ. She was CJ's younger sister by three years and the golden child of the Cregg family.
Their older sister, Megan lived in San Francisco and ranked a close second in their parent's eyes. Middle CJ was always the 'Problem.' CJ had gone through a punk stage in high school. CJ went to Berkley instead of the "only University the Cregg's should attend" according to their father, Stanford. And of course, CJ wasn't married.
Sarah was shorter than her older sisters at 5'7" and was the only blonde in the family. Instead of a punk stage, she was a varsity tennis player in high school and won the State Championship her senior year. Instead of rebelling and going to Berkeley, she did as expected and got straight A's at Stanford. Sarah became a successful Oncologist, married her college sweetheart, Chad Parker and they lived in a house in Malibu.
But it was hard for CJ to hate her little sister. She had the Cregg family infectious laugh, loved to shop, eat chocolate, and watch football. Sarah was the only one in the family who never judged CJ. Instead she encouraged CJ to follow her heart.
CJ was the one person who knew Sarah wasn't perfect, knew her secrets and flaws, and loved her just the same. CJ was, however, a little concerned because Sarah had been insistent about visiting. So much so, that it made alarm bells go off in CJ's brain, like there might be something wrong.
It was while lost in these thoughts that CJ was wiping down the kitchen counters. Therefore, she didn't hear Danny wake up until he yelled from the bedroom.
"Hey, where'd my Princess go?" The Prince demanded. CJ entered the room and watched Danny prop himself up on one elbow.
"She left. You're stuck with me."
"Well, OK. Com're then," Danny patted the bed.
"I don't have time this morning. My sister's flight comes in at 9 and I have to pick her up," CJ explained.
"Wouldn't she want you to be glowing when you met her?" Danny wagged his eyebrows and patted the bed again.
"I made coffee."
Danny got out of bed and followed her into the kitchen. He opened the fridge and took out eggs and bacon then found a pan. CJ was in the living room dusting and using a roll-thing to pick up Cleo's cat hair off the couch and chairs. He smiled at her neurotic behavior.
"CJ, this place is always immaculate. Plus she's your sister, I doubt she's gonna care."
"If it were Megan visiting, she'd go home with a full report to my father about the state of this place. I want it to be nice for Sarah because she won't care."
"You have no logic whatsoever." Danny pointed out as he fried the bacon.
CJ changed the subject. "I was thinking the three of us could go to dinner on Friday."
"OK," Danny took a sip from his coffee as the bacon bubbled. "You know, CJ, I don't want to intrude. You spend time with your sister when she's here, don't worry about me I'll find something to keep me busy for two weeks."
"Yeah? You could talk to Sam about finding you that 'something'."
"You know what I mean. You don't have a lot of free time; while she's here you should spend it with her. I'll still be here when your sister goes home."
Danny took the bacon out of the pan and cracked two eggs into it. CJ entered the kitchen, put her hands on his cheeks and gave him a deep, tongue-filled kiss.
When he could breathe again, he asked, "What was that for?"
"Being a Prince. I still want you to come out with us Friday. I want you two to get to know each other."
"OK," Danny shrugged.
They ate breakfast and after Danny went into work, CJ showered, changed and left for the airport.
She stood at the gate watching people stream out of the tunnel from the plane. Sarah appeared wearing a linen pants suit and carrying a bag. Her long hair was pulled back and her gray eyes searched the waiting crowd for CJ.
"Sarah," CJ called and her sister hurried over, dropped the bag, and they threw their arms around each other.
"Oh Claudia, it's so good to see you," Sarah said as they walked through the airport to baggage claim.
"It's good to have you here. I know you've got to check-in today at the conference, but you'll have some time tomorrow to see my office, right?"
"Yes," Sarah smiled at her.
"What?"
"You say 'office' like it isn't the most famous one in the whole country."
Sarah and CJ talked about which monuments to see, and shopping they could do and before they could finish that lengthy conversation, the car was in front of the conference center.
CJ said, "I'll pick you up at 8 tonight, right here."
Sarah reached across and hugged her. "I can't wait, we're going to have so much fun."
On Monday, Sarah got up early with CJ and rode to the White House with her. They went through security and got a visitors pass. It was early and only about half the staff had arrived, but the West Wing was already loud and busy. CJ showed her the bullpen, the Roosevelt room, her own office, and the pressroom.
"It looks bigger on TV." Sarah walked up to the podium and said to the empty chairs, "Yes, I do have a Sears Tower for a sister. Next question please?"
"Very funny. Come on, I want you to met Leo and Toby."
"I was talking about Megan." Sarah teased as they traveled the halls. They returned to CJ's office to find Josh and Sam waiting.
"We heard you sister was visiting," Sam explained.
"She's happily married, you piranhas," CJ answered.
"Hello, I'm Sarah," grinning and shaking hands, Sarah introduced herself.
CJ nodded at each in turn, "Josh and Sam."
There was a knock, a bewildered Danny stood at the doorway of CJ's crowded office.
He said, "I can come back."
"No, wait," CJ stopped his exit. "Danny, I want you to meet my sister."
Sarah, who was hidden behind Sam, suddenly shot up at hearing the name just used.
"Danny?" Sarah asked while maneuvering over to the doorway. While looking Danny over carefully, Sarah said, "It is very nice to meet you indeed."
Josh and Sam tried to hold in their laughter at Sarah's enthusiasm and CJ's embarrassment.
Danny was thrown by everything. "Nice to meet you too. I'll catch up with you later, CJ," he said before making a fast exit.
"I'm sure he will," Sarah spoke suggestively. Josh and Sam lost the battle, and began laughing.
"OK, Bert and Ernie." CJ pulled the two boys out her office by their ears. "See you later." CJ closed the door and faced Sarah.
"Please, please, please be careful. It could cause problems for both of us."
"OK," Sarah shrugged. "He is pretty cute." CJ tried not to smile.
On Friday, CJ left work early and took Sarah to a pub in Georgetown. They nibbled on appetizers and Sarah had a beer, chatting about home, while waiting for Danny to join them once his column was written.
Danny entered the pub, and took a minute to study them from a distance. No doubt Sarah was beautiful in the traditional sense, blond hair and all. But there was something about the taller, older sister that gave her an edge, in Danny's opinion. CJ had some mystery and rare grace about her beauty. Just seeing her across a room made Danny smile, made his heartbeat faster, and his whole body feel alive. He wasn't sure what he'd done to deserve it, but somehow CJ had become his life.
"OK, I want the dirt on one Claudia Jean Cregg." Danny joked as he took a seat across from the sisters.
"No way," CJ warned.
Sarah told him, "We'll talk later," and winked.
They placed a dinner order and their conversation drifted from Sarah's medical practice, to stories from their childhood. Sarah excused herself from the table when she spotted some colleagues from the conference sitting at the bar.
"I've been trying to track down Dr. Caper since I got here, excuse me a minute," She explained.
"She's great," Danny told CJ once they were alone.
"She's also stolen a few guys away from me before. Don't get any ideas." CJ's tone was joking but Danny could tell by her eyes that some pain was buried as well. Once in a while her doubts still came out.
He leaned into her, "My heart is already taken and I think it's permanent." His voice dropped, "I've missed you."
It worked; CJ smiled and was back to herself instantly.
"OK, Romeo." CJ shook her head and changed the subject, "How'd the column go? You took a while on it."
"Sorry. It actually wasn't the column that kept me. My mom called to tell me she's having some tests done but wouldn't say what… you know what, never mind, I don't want to talk about this now."
"OK," CJ took a bite of a potato skin.
"And for the record, I got a lot of the column written during the 3 PM briefing."
"Danny!" She gasped, "It wasn't that long."
"Honey, I love you, but sometimes you hold long pointless press briefings." Danny stole the second half of the potato skin from her hand and shoved it in his mouth. She rolled her eyes at him.
Sarah chatted with her colleagues but mostly kept her eyes on CJ and Danny. This was just an excuse to observe them anyway.
Sarah watched Danny lean into CJ and speak softly. Her sister came alive and glowed with joy and love. Here they were in a bar, with a few dozen rich doctors and CJ only had eyes for one man. Sarah observed Danny obviously trying to get CJ to smile. When she did, Danny looked like a man who had just discovered a lake in the middle of a desert where he had been roaming and lost for weeks.
His joy came from making her happy and she doesn't even notice anyone else is in the room, Sarah concluded. Not for the first time in her life, Sarah felt jealous of her sister.
CJ wasn't handed things in life, she worked hard to achieve them. It seemed, once again, another one of life's goals could be crossed off CJ's list. She found love. Sarah wondered if CJ even realized how rare and special a love like this was to find…and more importantly keep.
Sarah considered telling CJ the whole twisted tale, just to make a point. But she dismissed it while making her way back to their table. It wasn't time for sadness, it was time to enjoy.
The next day, CJ took the afternoon off so she and Sarah could go shopping together. After 3 hours they'd made it through 4 stores.
"Cappuccino?" CJ suggested as they passed a stand. They sat at one of the tables sipping coffee and reviewing their purchases so far.
"I can't believe what you convinced me to buy." CJ shook her head at the loss of her usual good sense.
"It's fun to splurge sometimes. Plus, I know Danny will appreciate it. Red is your color."
"We're not talking about a suit or a dress here, were talking about underwear." CJ spoke too loud and caused an old woman to glance over.
CJ lowered her voice, "Who cares what color it is? Besides, I already tried the sexy lingerie thing with him."
"Ohhh, do tell," Sarah prompted her.
"Let's just say we ended up in a discussion of Bob Dole and viagra." CJ sipped her coffee while Sarah giggled.
"CJ, I think you should marry him."
CJ's coffee nearly went up her nose, "What?" She recovered and gave Sarah her best stern-big-sister look. "You are beginning to sound dangerously close to someone we call Father."
"You're angry." Sarah observed.
"You've never done that to me. You've always told me to wait until it was right, until I'd met the man I was supposed to be with."
"Exactly."
CJ was stunned to silence. They sat drinking their coffee and watching shoppers go by, without saying a word for several minutes. Finally CJ spoke, "We've never talked about it."
"Why not?"
CJ sighed and tried to explain, "It's safer to let things stay the way they are now. We're together and happy and we don't have to deal with everyone knowing about us."
"That doesn't sound like you, to play things safe instead of going after what you want."
"But now the stakes are higher, Sarah. What if I tell him and he doesn't want to get married? What if he doesn't want a wife and kids and that whole normal domestic scene? Lots of people don't."
"He probably hasn't asked you because he's afraid you don't want the 'whole domestic scene.' Just tell him you'll say yes when he asks."
"I am not doing that. Plus, imagine what the President would say if I walked into the Oval Office and announced I was marrying a reporter."
Sarah raised an eyebrow, "You know, it is just so common these days for couples to have that exact problem."
"Stop it."
"OK," Sarah said, "I just want you to marry the right person. I don't want you to pass it up like I did." She sighed and decided to finally admit all her horrible mistakes and maybe teach CJ a lesson. "Remember in college when you took me to the clinic to-"
"Yes," CJ interrupted, not wanting the old woman nearby to hear the word 'abortion' in the same conversation as the red underwear.
"I never told you how…Well, Chad was gone that semester and I met a wonderful, kind man whom I was falling in love with. When I found out I was pregnant I had a choice to make. I could do what you would've had the courage to do, not care what people said or thought, and marry the man you loved.
"But I didn't, I chickened out, like I always have. I broke up with the man I loved without ever telling him I was pregnant. You drove me to the clinic and took care of me afterwards. And I never told anyone, including Chad. When he returned from his semester abroad we were married like both our parents wanted.
"I have always been jealous of you CJ, your courage and strength. I wish I had even a little bit of that courage. Maybe things wouldn't have ended up this way." Sarah sighed and stared out the windows of the café for a moment. When she spoke again her voice was on the edge of breaking.
"Chad wants a divorce."
CJ was so astonished, she was surprised at her ability to speak, "Oh, Sarah, no."
"It's OK. We've drifted apart over the years but now he's found someone else."
"What can I do?" CJ wanted to fix it and make it better like she could when they were little. It was easy to do when the problems were only as big as Sarah falling off her bike or fighting with neighborhood kids. But her little sister wasn't 6 years old anymore.
"Don't do what I did," Sarah reapplied. "Hold on strong to Danny and don't let go, no matter what happens or how hard it gets." Sarah struggled to hold back tears and CJ reached over to hug her.
"I'm so sorry," CJ whispered in her ear.
"It's OK," Sarah pulled back and took a deep breath. "It'll be OK. Please, let's talk about something else. How about shoe shopping next?"
A week later, Sarah boarded a plane promising to call CJ when she got home. Danny and CJ headed back through the airport to the car.
"Did you two have a nice visit?" He asked.
"I was good to see her and talk like we did as kids. But I missed seeing you these last two weeks."
"You saw me at work," Danny pointed out.
"Not what I meant." CJ smiled at him, "My place?"
"Do I get a bubble bath again?" Danny teased her.
"No, but Sarah made me buy some lacey red underwear." Danny's eyes widened and she said, "I could model them for you."
"Did I tell you how much I love your sister?"
Five weeks later, CJ sat in her office rubbing her temples. She was having a bad day. Members of the press were pushing for details on a secret military operation underway near the coast of Cuba. Leo was pissed at her for missing the meeting with cheese producers or some stupid Wisconsin lobby group. And then there was the other predicament. The little problem she noticed a few days ago and as the days were passing she realized was becoming more like a gigantic problem. She was late.
CJ was nearly two weeks late now and she'd never been more than a day late since she was about 16 or 17. For the present time, she was pushing the idea to the back of her brain and trying not to process it. That would mean having to face a million questions and worries she wasn't ready for. CJ picked up the phone and yanked the number of her doctor from the Rolodex. After making an appointment for tomorrow she put her head on her desk and tried to think about Navy planes and Wisconsin cheese.
Danny sat at his workstation in the press corps area of the West Wing punching keys on his laptop. It was a random Thursday morning like any other. CJ had finished the 9 AM briefing and he probably wouldn't see her privately all day due to the military story in the works. He hated days like this when their contact was off limits, he much preferred to surprise her in her office with a silly conversation at least once a day. They had a date tomorrow night, so he would have to pass the time looking forward to it. The phone next to him rang and it forced Danny to stop his daydreams and answer it.
"Concannon here." He listened to the voice on the other end for only a minute. Then he hung up slowly, shut off his computer, took his coat and left the White House.
A half-hour later, Carol knocked at CJ's door.
"Josh wants you to go with him to a meeting." Carol pushed open the half-closed door to CJ's office, "He said you would know…"
CJ's head was lying on her desk and she was sound asleep. Carol approached and shook her shoulder, "CJ."
As CJ woke, Carol looked at her concerned. "Are you OK, maybe you've got that flu that's going around?"
CJ got her bearings and realized she'd fallen asleep in her office, the most unprofessional thing she could manage to do. Well, second to dating a member of the press, she was on a roll. Carol was still looking at her like a Grandmother ready to feed her chicken soup.
"No, Carol, I'm fine I was just up all night going over reports from the Navy about that fallen pilot in Cuba, that's all." CJ lied and hoped that Carol didn't notice her stumbling over the story.
"Are you sure you are not feeling sick?" Carol attempted.
"No, but you know what, I have a check-up tomorrow with my doctor. I'll make sure to have her look in my ears and down my throat and give me a lollipop if I behave."
Carol smiled, "You seem perfectly fine now. You and Josh have a meeting?"
"Yep," CJ replied. She took the files from Carol's hands then headed down the hall to catch up with Josh.
The day was full of meetings, phone calls, and annoying briefings. The press still hounding CJ, even though they knew she couldn't give them any information yet. She noticed that Danny wasn't in the room at the 2 PM or 6 PM briefings. She wondered why he didn't bother letting her know he wouldn't be there. It wasn't like him. Quite the opposite, his sensitive, thoughtful nature was why she couldn't resist him.
After putting the lid on and weaving her way back to her office, thoughts that CJ had been avoiding started to break through.
'Things are so good between us, what was going to happen now that there were serious consequences to the relationship…STOP,' CJ mentally yelled at herself. She had to force herself not to start doing this, at least until she saw the doctor and was sure.
CJ went home early, around 9 PM and opened her door to a dark apartment. There were no messages on the machine. She realized she was expecting Danny to surprise her at home or at the very least, call to let her know why he was missing. She always took these gestures for granted, they were just part of his personality. But now, without Danny's thoughtfulness, she was getting annoyed with him.
Her mind stopped wandering when her stomach turned. CJ stood in her living room with a look of horror on her face. She hadn't eaten anything yet and instead of being hungry her stomach was feeling very- her hand flew to cover her mouth as she dashed through the apartment to her bathroom and found the toilet bowl just in time.
CJ sat back against the tub when she was done and let the tears fall for almost 20 minutes. It was becoming harder to pretend or make excuses, she knew what the doctor would find tomorrow.
After eating a bland dinner of rice and chicken, CJ curled up on the couch and turned the TV on, trying to distract herself with an old movie. Thoughts still found their way past her defenses. Her sister must be psychic, the conversation they had over a month ago entered CJ's mind. Sarah had told CJ not make the same choices she had.
CJ wasn't sure how Danny was going to react to the news. Would he be angry with her? She counted her pills yesterday morning; she skipped a few sometime this month. God, how stupid was she? Her crazy schedule was no excuse for not taking birth control seriously. Danny could very well blame her for this. He had trusted her.
If Danny didn't want a baby, maybe he would break up with her. It would be awful to see him each day. Early in their relationship, CJ had been afraid of getting hurt. That seemed so long ago, overtime CJ had learned to totally trust him and love him. But something like this could tear them apart even if they loved each other.
Danny, out of obligation, might offer to marry her. Would she agree to that? Six weeks ago CJ told Sarah it was the one thing she wanted in life, to marry him and have a family. But, this was not exactly what CJ had in mind during that conversation. She was afraid even then to tell Danny she wanted to marry him. Now, she was down right scared. He might question her reasons for wanting to do it.
The other fear was their jobs. It had been so easy to hide things, now it would be as obvious as her bulging abdomen. What would they think of her?
CJ wondered if they would fire her. No, maybe that's against the law? She considered asking Sam, but then that would mean having to tell him why she wanted to know if a pregnant unmarried woman could be fired from working at the White House.
She was going to have to tell Danny soon. This thought made her remember his absence today. What the hell was wrong with him, running off and not even a phone call to explain?
CJ was once so independent that she never cared if a guy she was seeing didn't call her. Now, her whole world revolved around him. She needed him, maybe now more than ever before, and he was missing. Her heart was sinking lower as these thoughts made her feel lost.
This was her last thought before drifting off to sleep on her couch with Jay Leno on in the background.
On Friday morning, CJ went to the doctor's office early and blood was taken. She was told the results would be back before the end of the day. She went into work and tried to shuffle papers at her desk but every time the phone rang she would panic.
Once again, Danny wasn't at any of her briefings and her annoyance was turning into worry. At noon, she called his house thinking he might have come down with the flu. But there was no answer.
By 3:30 PM, she considered having Carol call his paper to find out if they had assigned him on a story somewhere. But she reasoned the paper would have sent a substitute to her press conferences. There wasn't a new person in the pressroom.
The staff meeting late in the day revealed that Leo was no longer pissed at her. Apparently the Wisconsin people hated California's wine country for some involved reason he didn't go into. Since she was from Napa that meant she was an enemy. So, having Josh go in her place yesterday had turned out to be a good thing.
The President was spouting statistics on the Notre Dame/Purdue series through out football history. Apparently, that was the game being played tomorrow and was much more important than the Cuba situation to him.
Toby was distracted with Sam's inability to write a speech for the International Relations Meeting the President would be attending. The whole room was being very self-absorbed, and CJ was no different.
As Leo wrapped things up, and Sam and the President were comparing the Irish and Boilermaker's Special Teams, CJ excused herself from the room. She was feeling feverish and her stomach was lurching. She headed to the cafeteria and got a bagel and cream cheese and an ice tea and carried it back to her office to eat before she repeated last night's performance in front of the toilet.
At 9:15 PM, CJ sat in a booth near the back of a pub called Harpoon's she and Danny liked to go. It was dim and quiet and allowed them privacy due to the high backs of the booths. She had almost ordered a Grasshopper. Then she remembered the phone call about an hour ago from her doctor. It confirmed what she had suspected.
She was going over in her mind how she would tell Danny the news. Just then, he slipped into the bench across from her. He reached out to her hand on the table and clasped it. This was unusual; they didn't flaunt their relationship when they were in public.
CJ began saying, "Danny, I have something to tell you…" But when she met his eyes, she stopped talking. Tears were at the edge, ready to spill over onto Danny's cheeks.
"Please, CJ, not tonight. If you're going to end our relationship, I would appreciate it if you could wait until next week." A few of his tears began their journey. "I just don't think I could handle another painful thing right now." CJ's fear and concern shifted instantly from herself to him.
"What happened?" She asked.
"I got a call yesterday morning, my mom died." He choked out the last few words trying desperately to hold back more of the threatening tears. "I've been in Jersey making the arrangements, I meant to call you but I just didn't have time. I'm sorry."
"I'm not mad, I was worried." CJ stroked the back of his hand with her thumb trying to calm him. She made the decision that her news could wait a while, until he was through his grief so they could talk about things rationally.
"Were you going to leave me?" He asked carefully.
"Absolutely not," She answered honestly.
Danny was always so confident, never shaken. Fears and anxiety were her department, not his. It was strange for CJ to suddenly be the reassuring one of the relationship.
He asked, "Then what was it you were going to say?" while watching her thumb circle his knuckles. Her touch was soothing and it grounded him.
"Nothing, forget it. Your mother…what happened?"
He took several deep breaths and seemed to gain some strength back. "I don't want to talk about it just yet, maybe later. Right now," Danny looked into her eyes, "I just want to be with you." CJ's heart leaped, his charms always affected her.
The waiter came and Danny ordered a burger, CJ a salad. Thankfully, they didn't drink often so it was normal for her to have a soda with dinner. But she convinced him to get a beer and she would drive home. After the waiter left Danny raised his eyebrows at her.
"One car? CJ are you trying to come on to me?" He tried teasing but it was half-hearted at best. She smiled at him anyway, realizing his need to lighten the conversation.
She teased back, "It's been so long that you have to ask?"
"Well, there is this one sexy woman I know, but she's been busy lately…" He gave her a genuine smile as he trailed off.
After they ate, Danny left his car behind and CJ drove them both to her apartment. With all the events happening at work lately, she realized it had been about two, almost three weeks. That thought stopped CJ's heart for a beat, it must have been the night they-
"CJ, the light's green now. You can go anytime you're ready." Danny looked at her, she was blushing. He figured it was embarrassment for daydreaming at a light. "Already fantasizing about me, aren't you?" He teased.
CJ parked the car and they rode the elevator to the fifth floor and he opened the door to her apartment. She had been strangely quiet and the reporter in him began to pick up clues in her behavior. It was similar to when there was something going on in the Bartlet administration that she was trying to hide from him. Most people thought CJ lied to the press well. Maybe it was because Danny knew her so well, but he always could see through it.
Danny declared, "You're hiding something." She jumped at his voice and looked up at him. He could see her masking the panic, he was right.
"No," she stated.
"Give me some credit, I can tell when you're hiding something. What is it?"
"I told you before, it's nothing." CJ lied to him. He didn't fall for it.
"Now," he insisted.
But CJ shook her head. She had to get out of this, she wasn't ready to tell him and he wasn't ready to hear it yet.
"Why don't you tell me about your mother?" CJ shot back at him, without thinking. His eyes were full of horror and pain.
CJ had never been through loosing a loved one but she was experienced at being the support for someone who had. Both a college roommate and Josh, during the campaign, had depended on her in a time like this. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt Danny further.
CJ said softly, "Or maybe neither of us talk and you go home."
"Is that what you really want?"
"No," she answered.
"Good. Because, I need you."
CJ knew it was easier for both of them to say 'I love you.' For two independent people, needing someone else had never happened before they met each other.
"I need you too," she confessed.
Danny drew her into an embrace and they kissed for several minutes like teenagers on the couch. Then she sat back a little and began to undo the buttons on his dress shirt. He lifted her in his arms.
"Oh," CJ responded in surprise. He'd never carried her into the bedroom before.
Danny deposited her on the bed then hopped up and landed on his back next to her. He spread his arms and legs out and declared, "Take me, I'm yours!" She giggled at him and they began kissing again.
After, CJ lay curled next to him. With her body shuddering and her mind perfectly clear of distraction, she thought of the tiny being inside her that they created a few weeks ago. It was a beautiful thought.
"Sleep now," she whispered to both her baby and it's father. CJ smoothed back Danny's hair and hugged him.
"I love you," he mumbled before succumbing to sleep.
The next morning, CJ opened her eyes at 7 AM. She realized where she was, wrapped in Danny's arms after a night of amazing sex and thought, 'Life is good,' while smiling to herself.
She bent her head back and kissed Danny's lips. His lips curled into a smile and responded. Then, suddenly, the alarm clock went off. He groaned and CJ rolled away to shut it off.
He joked in a groggy, sleep voice, "That thing's like kids running in and interrupting just when it's getting' good," while rubbing his eyes.
CJ panicked and at the same time her stomach twisted around, threatening to reveal her secret if she didn't get something to eat quickly.
"Breakfast?" She offered.
Over cold cereal at the kitchen table, they discussed the Cuba situation. Since he'd missed work the past two days, CJ told Danny there was a news conference scheduled this morning.
He interrupted her, "I have a favor to ask, please come to the funeral with me this afternoon?"
"Of course," she answered. And when she glanced up, Danny was looking at her in the way that threw her off balance and made it hard to concentrate.
"Thank you," he got up. "Now, I've got to shower." He headed down the hall, but sang over his shoulder, "What to join me?"
When CJ arrived at 1600 Pennsylvania, she rushed to the ladies room and emptied her breakfast. She spent 10 minutes cleaning up, then headed to the informal, Saturday morning staff meeting. Fortunately, the Notre Dame game started at noon, so the President insisted on a short day. Toby confirmed she could release details on the Cuba situation to the press.
At the end of the meeting, she announced Danny's mother had died and she would be attending the service that afternoon. CJ told, not asked.
Leo nodded and said, "CJ, take all the time with him you need." Toby scowled, but no one said anything more.
The press conference with Navel officers from the pentagon went well. Being a Saturday usually helped with these things, the press were not especially fanatical.
CJ finished up some paperwork and left the building by 11:30. At home, she changed, packed a few things, and ate some lunch. Danny picked her up around 1:00 wearing a dark suit. He put her bag in the trunk and held the car door for her.
The drive was quiet other than NPR playing low on the radio. CJ attempted conversation about Cuba, but Danny only had vague responses. She tried to lightly joke with him, but he only gave her a weak smile.
Finally, Danny turned the car into a large cemetery called St. Anne's. When he came to a one-story building he parked and cut the engine of the car. He sat.
CJ took a deep breath, she was used to a teasing, fun-loving, sweet Danny. It eluted her how to handle a sad, fearful, tormented Danny. She reached across and took his hand. She squeezed it while searching for the right words.
He squeezed back and said, "Thanks. That's exactly what I need." They got out of the car and walked inside.
Only a handful of people came for the service. The White House had sent flowers, another bouquet was from Danny's paper and two more from people whose names she didn't know.
After a short prayer service, the small group of mourners made their way to the graveside. There, the casket was lowered into the ground and a final blessing said. People shook Danny's hand and tried to tell him comforting words but in reality, it didn't help. The priest shook his hand and left as well.
Danny stood by himself, in front of the casket in the ground. His mom's tombstone now stood next to his father's and his older brother's. The realization that she was gone; that his whole family was completely gone and he was alone in the world, overcame him. It hurt, almost too much.
CJ had been standing off to the side silently, allowing Danny time to grieve. But it distressed her to see him in so much pain. She couldn't stand it and she walked over, putting a hand on Danny's back as he wept.
Danny felt her touch and breathed deep. He wasn't alone, CJ was there.
"Danny, tell me about her." CJ figured if he started talking, if he got it all out, he might feel better.
Danny knelt onto the grass. "Come here," he invited her.
CJ lowered herself to the ground along side him. It was cold out but the ground wasn't wet. He faced her with a distant look.
"I wish she had meet you before she died. I wish you had known my Dad, too." Danny sighed. "I know they would've really liked you. Your humor, intelligence, beauty, kindness, they would have adored you." He was quiet for several minutes, almost playing the scenes out in his mind.
"Plus, they would have seen how much you mean to me. They would have been happy about that too." Danny looked down into the grave again.
"My brother gone in the car accident, now my folks gone. It's just hard not having a family anymore. I guess I'm finally seeing what my Mom warned me about these last few years. She was afraid I worked too hard, that I let other things be less of a priority in my life. She was afraid when she was gone that I…She's right, CJ, life is lonely when you have no family."
"Danny…" CJ wasn't sure where to begin, she wanted to comfort him but wasn't sure the right way to do it. She wanted to tell Danny that he would be having a family soon even if it wasn't the right time to tell him.
"You know you're not alone," she said carefully, "in more ways than you even realize. I love you." She put her arms around him and they held each other for what seemed like hours. A shiver by CJ seemed to wake Danny's senses.
Danny got up and offered her a hand. "We'll freeze out here. Besides I want to show you something."
They got into the car and he drove through streets as daylight faded. After an hour, CJ was asleep, her head against his shoulder. He turned off the main road onto a gravel driveway that twisted back through the trees to a cabin.
"Hey, Sleeping Beauty," Danny whispered to her, "we're here."
They went inside, Danny carrying their bags and he announced, "Welcome to the family cabin."
CJ turned to say something else, but instead had to ask, "Bathroom?"
He led her there and CJ lost what little was in her stomach. When she was done, Danny handed her a wet cloth and a cup of mouthwash.
He asked, "Do you think you're getting the flu?"
"No," CJ replied before emptying the cup into her mouth and sloshing mouthwash around.
"Maybe you should see a doctor? You should lie down and I'll get you a blanket. God, I'm an idiot for keeping you on the cold ground for so long." Danny rambled on uneasily while searching the medicine cabinet for something. CJ spit out the mouthwash.
"Danny, I'm not sick," she snapped.
Danny raised his voice. "You're too stubborn to let me take care of you when you're sick?"
"I'm not sick, you idiot, I'm pregnant," she blurted out.
Both stood frozen. He dropped the Tylenol bottle in his hands. His eyes were wide with shock and his mouth hung open mid-word. CJ's mind was twirling with anxiety.
"Really? You're really-" Stumbled out of his mouth and she nodded.
"Oh, my, you're pregnant." Danny said with wonder. "With my…it's mine."
He wasn't asking her, just trying to comprehend it. But CJ nodded anyway. Danny's face broke into the brightest smile she'd ever seen. He began to laugh and cry at the same time, he lifted her off the ground with the intensity of his hug.
He swung her around, "You're pregnant!" he yelled out.
Then Danny lowered CJ to the ground, spun her and waltzed her out of the bathroom, through the living room, around the couch and into the kitchen. He stopped and looked into her eyes with pure joy.
CJ looked shocked, and Danny's smile dropped. "You are… happy?" He asked cautiously.
"Yes of course, I'm just at little stunned at your reaction." She lowered her eyes. "It's not what I expected."
"You didn't think I'd be happy? This is one of the best things that's ever happened to me, second only to you."
CJ wasn't completely listening. She launched into, "Plus, there are things to consider, my work, your work, they're not going to be happy. Being discrete about our relationship is going to get difficult soon. It's going to become very obvious."
He laughed while looking down at her belly. "I can't wait."
Danny shook his head in amazement, "I think your missing something here, and you're looking at this the wrong way. CJ, we're going to have a baby, our baby. The rest will get worked out. We'll deal with it together. It's far less important than this."
Danny got down on his knees and put his hands on the back of her thighs. He spoke right at her abdomen.
"Hello in there. We are so happy about you, little one." She put her hands in his hair as he continued, "We promise to love you and take care of you and teach you all we can. I want you to know that I love your-"
He paused and looked up at CJ, as if something just made sense, then resumed talking to her belly, "Mom. I love her and I trust her and need her. You are the luckiest baby in the world to have her as a mother."
Warmth flooded CJ's heart as Danny spoke. His smile, his joy, it was beginning to dawn on her. Her eyes filled with tears, she didn't even want to try holding them back.
"Also," Danny's voice dropped to conspiracy level and he got a gleam in his eye, looking up at CJ again as he spoke. "Don't pay any attention to what I'm about to do to your mother tonight. When you're older, she'll explain it to you."
CJ laughed. Now that she knew everything was OK between them, and Danny was happy about the baby too, all she wanted to do was laugh and smile.
"Thank you," she whispered. "A baby, Danny. We're going to have a baby." CJ's smile made his heart melt.
He squeezed the backs of her legs and stood up to catch her mouth in a long, slow kiss. When they parted he said, "We'll work it out, please trust me."
"I do," she said.
Danny quipped, "And keep practicing those words you just said."
She was going to respond but he began kissing her again. He took off her blazer and started to unbutton her blouse when he suddenly pulled back.
"Is this…um, I mean, is it OK for us to be doing this? It's not going to hurt you or the baby?"
She leaned into him and spoke against his lips, "Danny, you did this last night and I was pregnant then too. It's fine." She kissed him on the lips, then on his jaw and neck, and then added, "Besides, I'd kill you if you stopped."
"Wait, you knew since yesterday and you didn't tell me?"
"Danny, no it's not like that, I didn't even want to tell you now."
"Why?"
"Well, I guess it didn't seem appropriate. And I hadn't yet figured out how to tell you. I've been a little afraid, I think."
"I love you," he said between kisses along her neck. "That doesn't change, no matter what you could say to me, or when or how you chose to say it."
Danny picked up CJ, set her down on the kitchen counter, and kissed her thoroughly. "I'm going to show you just how much I love you tonight."
Hours later in the bedroom, Danny's worn voice whispered in the dark, "Don't move." She was sprawled across his body. "I like you as a blanket." She kissed his chest and laid her head over his heart.
CJ asked, "You want to take a nap before dinner?"
"Um hum."
Soon, his breathing was slow and even and CJ knew he was asleep.
Moments and words from the past few days floated through her mind. "I'm pregnant. I trust you. My parents would have liked you. We are so happy about you, little one. I love you." Kisses, smiles, touches, she realized Danny was right, she hadn't been seeing things the right way. These images and words would be the things she would remember when she was old. She had not been following her sister's advice, to be strong and have the courage to love the man she wanted to be with no matter what. They had jobs, but the jobs weren't who they were.
CJ drifted to sleep with a contented smile on her face.
Later that night, Danny woke in a dark bedroom, one he'd slept in as a child. Now, he lay with his arms around the woman he loved and their tiny child inside her. The beauty of it made him shiver.
He kissed CJ's neck before slipping out of bed. He pulled on his boxers and crept downstairs and through the kitchen. In a back room, he turned on a lamp. It illuminated his father's desk and small study.
Against the far wall, Danny removed a painting and it revealed a hidden safe. He turned the wheel to open the door and pulled out papers and files until Danny's hand closed around a small box. He removed it and replaced the papers, then closed and locked the safe.
Danny climbed back up the stairs and put the box, containing his grandmother's diamond engagement ring, into his suitcase. Quietly, Danny slid back under the blankets and curled his body around CJ again. He sighed and drifted off to a peaceful sleep.
The End
