"I care not so much what I am to others as what I am to myself." -Michel De Montaigne

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Author's Note: Well, ladies and gentlemen, here it is… The long awaited sequel to Once A Thief, which my readers helped make a wonderful success by… Well by reading it and liking it. If you haven't read Once A Thief yet, I suggest you do. I'm quite proud of it.

Now then, I listened carefully to what my readers wanted to see in this fic. Basically, you people asked for… "Eurotrip" Teen Titans style, with bonus footage of Haze being eaten by a giant monster tapeworm.

…

Yeah… That's not gonna happen.

But don't worry, I'm still giving you all what you asked for, and way more! And will anyone even notice the quotes I put at the top of each chapter this time?! I just don't pull those out of thin air; they're relevant to the chapter! It makes me want to cry myself to sleep at night or talk to Red X's pet rock.

Well… With that all said, I proudly present to you all…

Twice A Thief

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Steel City.

You wouldn't think there'd be much worth stealing in the cold and over crowded metropolis of Steel City. But there was plenty if you knew where to look. Companies might pay fortunes under the table for information on their competitor's plans. And there were always plenty of raw materials and goods worth of a petty thief's interest in the industrial city.

The city seemed to exist for the soul purpose of making money. There were little in the ways of museums or amusement parks or anything of such. Only a few malls and movie theaters, as well as multiple scattered taverns and pubs, provided amusement for the working city. It was no small wonder that the H.I.V.E. had made such a strong foothold in the money-driven city.

Business and factories consumed nearly all-available land, which was the central reason why the Titans East built their tower on the underside of a cliff. There had simply been no land available, so they made land of their own at the foot of the cliff. The Titans East didn't have the luxury of negotiating away a city-owned island in the middle of the bay to build their anti-crime fortress, as the original Teen Titans had been able to do in Jump City.

Which all suited Red X just fine.

Red X, the thieving prodigy from Jump City, continued to repel down the side of the cliff, just above Titans East Tower. A disposable cable had been threaded through the motor and reel of a spare grapnel gun and anchored to a fire hydrant at the top of the cliff. He used said cable and spare gun to leisurely repel down the cliff and towards East Tower.

Jump City had finally become to hot for even him to work in on a regular basis; the Teen Titans and the police were getting smart and there wasn't much worth stealing these days. And Red X was constantly tantalized at the thoughts of other treasures outside of Jump City that were just waiting for him to wrap his sticky fingers around. Unfortunately, it was a constant hassle to travel too far out of Jump City and still bring his zynothium-powered suit with him, preventing the thief from expanding his territory beyond Jump City.

That's why he went through all the trouble of going all the way to Steel City.

The Titans East had a solution to his problem. And he intended to help himself to it.

"Well, that's one small step for man…", he said as he gingerly touched his toes to the rooftop of East Tower. He waited for any reaction from the Tower's security system, but none came and he smirked smugly under his mask. "And one giant leap for me." He pushed off and bounded away from the rocky wall, and landed completely and silently on the Tower's roof.

He severed the cable and tucked away his spare grapnel gun, and then he withdrew his own version of the Titan's communicator.

It was similar to the Titan's version, except his was grey and had a red "X" slashed on the cover instead of a prominent "T". It had been built from one of Robin's own communicators, which X had managed to snatch a while back. The communicator allowed the super-thief limited access to the original Titans Tower, and he gambled it would allow him access to the East Tower as well.

The fact that retractable and automated turrets hadn't blasted him into a hot and steaming pile of molecular paste proved his gamble correct.

After checking his time and other statistics with the multi-function X-communicator, he stored it away in his belt and made his way to the rooftop entrance to the Tower.

-X-

30 minuets later.

Mas y Menos inhaled the scents of dinner deeply through their noses and sighed in pleasure. "Ah… ¡Será delicioso!", they announced in unison.

The supersonic twins had made dinner that night and set it down on the large table that had a "T" painted on it. The rest of the Titans East leaned in close to examine the strange Guatemalan dish.

"Uh… Aqualad! I know you just can't wait to sink your teeth into it first!", Bumblebee said, setting up a trap for Aqualad to hopefully test the alien dish.

"What?!", Aqualad said with a slight grimace and a brake of sweat.

"¡Maravilloso!", Mas exclaimed as he gathered up a giant spoon-full of the dish and slopped it onto Aqualad's plate. "Inténtelo. ¡Antes de las habas endurezca!", Menos said.

Speedy smiled with a devilish smirk. "Go on… Give it a shot.", he taunted.

Aqualad, the aquatic boy scout, gulped and slowly picked up a spoon and poked at the food on his plate. "Well… Here goes…" He scooped up some in his spoon and slowly raised it to his mouth like a man who was about to eat tiny shards of aluminum.

"Él estará contento cuando él prueba la sorpresa especial.", Menos quickly muttered to his brother.

"¿Utilizamos escarabajos frescos?", Mas replied.

"No. Utilicé la chinche hedionda en lugar de otro. ¿Usted lo piensa notará?", Menos answered.

Aqualad slowly placed the spoon near his mouth and prepared to take a bite…

Suddenly the lights went out, leaving the Titans in pitch-black darkness. Then a warning alarm sounded once, and only once, and emergency lights bathed the room in red light.

"Oh thank you it's an emergency!", Aqualad muttered as he set the spoon back down on his plate.

"Smells good. What's for dinner?", Red X said.

Each of the Titans East turned to the large display screen on the wall. Red X's masked face was plastered on the screen in a larger-then-life way.

"Who are you?", Bumblebee demanded as she and the rest of the Titans East rose from their seats.

"Haven't heard of me? I'm crushed.", Red X said over the display's screen and surround sound, and mimicked sorrow in his voice. "The name's Red X, professional thief for hire. I figured I'd introduce myself to the newest set of the Tweeb Titans now and save us all the embarrassing hassle of name cards."

"You're a thief?", Speedy asked.

"The best around. Just ask Robin, I'm sure he'll get a kick out of it.", Red X answered.

"¡Ningún ladrón nos derrotará!, Mas exclaimed with a wave of his stubby fist. "¡Le encontraremos y le pondremos en la cárcel, hombre enmascarado!", Menos affirmed.

Red X raised his eyebrow considerably on the large screen. "Who are the wonder twins over there?" Red X knew well who they were, but feinted ignorance for amusement's sake.

"That's Mas and Menos.", Bumblebee exclaimed with a smirk. "Fastest set of twins on any hemisphere.", she said with pride, hoping it might intimidate the strange new thief.

"Mas and Menos?", Red X repeated. "Man, you guys got more aliens then the original Titans!"

Mas y Menos seemed to fume at this comment.

Speedy, on the other hand, suddenly burst out laughing and held his side. After his short laughter subsided, he pointed with his thumb at Red X on the screen and said, "This bad guy, I like."

"I aim to please.", Red X said sarcastically.

"Well whoever or whatever you are…", Aqualad began. "You made a serious mistake by coming here."

"Yeah, you're right.", X said. "I didn't bring any tartar sauce."

Then the screen went blank and any trace of Red X disappeared.

"Titans! He's gotta be in the Tower to have hacked into that screen. Split up and find him!", Bumblebee called out.

Aqualad was the first to take off, and the strait-laced submersible Titan darted off to the railing of the raised platform the table was at. He bounded off the railing and dived off and towards one of his twin pools of water at the bottom.

The East Tower included several water-accessible entrances and exists to accommodate Aqualad, and he expected to swim through the pipelines and into the lower levels of the Tower.

But instead he dived head first into a giant pool of… Jell-O.

Aqualad was suspended in the green gelatin momentarily. He summoned all the strength needed to swim through water at 80 knots and used his toned muscles to propel himself through the sweet gelatin quickly. His head popped out, splashing pieces and chunks of Jell-O away.

"HEY! A little help here!", he said as he tried in vein to maneuver.

Bumblebee quickly flew from the top of the room and towards Aqualad. "What happened?!", she asked as she grabbed his hand and tried to pull him out of the quick-sand-like desert.

Speedy busted though a door that led to the poolside level of the main room and rushed to the poolside. "What the…?", he said slowly. "What is all this crud?", he skidded to a stop by the pool and poked the gelatinous substance with his foot.

"It tastes like…" Aqualad, kneeling next to the pool after Bumblebee had set him down, licked and smacked his lips together to taste any residue on his lips. "…Jell-O."

Speedy skipped a beat, and then began to laugh hysterically. He doubled over in laughter and slapped his knee repeatedly.

Aqualad was less then amused. "Not funny…"

"Yes, it is!", Speedy said as he stood erect again. "We finally get a villain with a good sense of humor! Ha ha!"

"Alright, quit goofing around.", Bumblebee ordered. "That funny bad guy is still in the Tower!", she said while helping Aqualad to his feet.

Aqualad got up and followed Bumblebee as they walked past Speedy, who was still chuckling hardily.

"Jell-O… He disabled your powers by turning all the water in the Tower to Jell-O… Ha ha ha…!" He turned around to walk with them, but then stepped and slid on a large chuck of gelatin. He then slid backwards and fell strait into the pool.

Aqualad and Bumblebee turned around to see what had happened, and spotted the scarlet archer face up at the bottom of a Speedy-shaped hole in the Jell-O.

This time Aqualad laughed.

Speedy was so unamused and flustered to the point he thought a vein might pop out of his forehead. "Not funny…"

"¡X Rojo! ¡Lo encontramos!", Mas said as he and his twin sped into the room while holding hands. "¡En el 'hanger"!", Menos said.

"What'd they say?", Speedy asked as Aqualad and Bumblebee each pulled one of his arms and helped him out of the gelatinous death trap.

"I think they said he's in the hanger.", Bumblebee replied.

"What are waiting for?", Aqualad said, more of a statement then a question.

"¡Venido! ¡Síganos!", the twins said and zipped off in the direction. They stopped at the large blast doors to the hanger bay where the TE-Ship was being constructed, and waited for their friends.

The remaining three Titans soon arrived, two of them sticky and smelling like sugary desert.

"En aquí.", Menos said, pointing to the door.

"Hey, I think he's inside.", Bumblebee said, ignoring Menos unintentionally.

Menos fumed momentarily.

"Open it.", Speedy said.

"I can't." Bumblebee continually typed away at the keypad next to the door. "I think he's locked it from the inside.", she said with a few more experimental pokes to the buttons.

"Do you hear something…?", Aqualad said as he stared off into space.

Speedy perked up momentarily. "Sounds like… Whistling. 'I've been working on the railroad'…?"

Suddenly stopped and was replaced by a low but powerful hum. The hum grew louder and the windows that made up one of the corridor's walls began to gently rattle.

"What… Is… THAT!?!?!", Bumblebee demanded.

But the sound continued.

Then Bumblebee's communicator started to ring. She quickly took it out, opened it, and spat out, "What?"

Red X's face was displayed on the communicator's screen. "Hey, Buzzy. Enjoying the concert?", he said, referring to the hum.

"Red X?!", Bumblebee said, blinking in disbelief.

Speedy grabbed the communicator and stepped behind Bumblebee as to be seen from Red X's end of the conversation. "What's going in there?", he asked firmly.

"I guess you could call it your initiation." He spoke in such a way that the thick smirk could definitely be heard in his voice despite the hum. "Every team of Titans has to have something stolen from them by me sooner or later."

"What are you doing in there?!", Bumblebee repeated, fighting off a certain amount of panic.

"Hazing you!", Red X shouted with enthusiasm. Then he cut the line and the transmission went dead.

"Well that can't be good.", Speedy said unamused.

CRASH!!!

Suddenly, something crashed through the windows on the other side of the hanger's blast doors, sending shards of tempered glass flying all around.

It was the back end of the Titans East's version of the T-Ship, painted blue and piloted by Red X.

Bumblebee's eyes went wide, one twitching wildly, and her mouth went tight and crooked. Speedy grimaced and raised one eyebrow higher then his widened eyes. Aqualad's jaw had dropped to 20,000 leagues under the sea. Mas y Menos just stood dumbfounded while holding hands.

Shards of glass fell in slow motion around the aircraft as the Titans East stared in disbelief.

Red X made the craft to hover in midair for a moment. Then he reached to the control panel and then Bumblebee's communicator rang again.

She flicked it open without taking her twitching eyes away from Red X.

"Better Luck Next Time… And thanks for the sweet ride.", Red X said over the communicator from inside the ship. Then he cut that transmission.

He slammed his hand onto the craft's throttle, and with a blast from the ship's mighty twin miniature engines, Red X and the craft were off in a flash.

Inside the craft's cockpit, Red X felt the effects of the ships raw power and acceleration. "Oh, baby… Why didn't I get me one of these things sooner?!" He accelerated as he rose above the clouds and far out of sight. "Yeah!"

Back at East Tower…

"Did…", Aqualad began.

Him and the rest of the Titans east were all dumbfounded beyond comparison and still had the comically shocked looks on their faces.

"Did he just-"

He was suddenly cut off when Bumblebee covered his mouth with her hand without taking her hilariously twitching face away from the sky. "No. No, that didn't just happen."

"Then… What just happened to part of our ship…?", Speedy asked slowly.

"Mas and Menos broke it.", she said.

The three still looked hilariously dumbfounded with big eyes.

"QUE?!", the twins said.

-X-

Hours later.

Red X was quite content in the seat of his newest toy. He knew the T-Ship would be high performance, but he was still pleasantly surprised at how quickly the craft reach sub-orbital heights and how quickly he traveled far above the Earth below. He checked his instruments and his navigational equipment, finding he was just above Central City…

Below, in Central City…

CRASH!

The police car crashed into the asphalt with a loud bang and the screech of crunching metal, as its frame was damaged and grinded against the ground.

Across the street, a shinning mongrel stood nearly six and a half feet tall. His entire body was made of some sort of shinning metal, and it sparkled bright and reflective silver in the bright day. Plates and smaller miscellaneous bits of metal comprised his living armor, even his long unkempt hair and beard had become like metal wire.

The utterly huge metallic creature had tried to rob a bank the blunt way, by running strait through the wall and ripping off the vault door with nothing but sheer brute force. And as soon as he stepped outside the hole he had made as a door, he had found company.

And now, the giant walking shop-class reject snarled at the perimeter of police that had gathered.

"Sir! Please calm down!", the police negotiator said over his mega-phone.

"I got a name…", the snarling metal beast said. "But you'll call me Girder anyway. Got it?" He spoke with a deep voice with a small hint of a screech, almost as if metal had covered his vocal cords as well. But despite that, he still retained the basic voice of any uneducated day laborer.

"Girder? Okay, Girder, there's no need for any more violence.", said the negotiator. "I know you must be panicked and upset, but we just want to talk things out- AGH!" The negotiator ducked to avoid a heavy leather chair that Girder had thrown from inside the bank.

Girder chuckled to himself. "Talk? I don't wanna talk! I want some of this dough inside, and if you piggies wanna take it outside…" Girder grabbed a large mangled piece of concrete and rebar that had once been part of the banks wall. "Fine by me!" Girder hurled the huge slab of concrete and rebar at the nearest police officer.

Detective Jared Morillo was unlucky enough to be said police officer. He wore a cheap but good-looking suit, and sweat covered his dark and almost chocolate colored skin. He was crotched behind a police car and stared wide-eyed and helpless, like a dear caught in an SUV's headlights, as the slab tumbled end over end strait toward him.

Suddenly a blur past over him and he disappeared into it just as the slab crashed into the spot he once inhabited. The crumbling slab smashed the into a car and lifted its back tires off the ground when it slammed into the hood.

Twenty feet away, Kid Flash stood next too twin skid marks from his feet. Detective Jarrod Morillo was oddly held under one of the supersonic teen's arms.

"Kid Flash!", Jarrod said as Kid Flash released him.

"Sorry, I'm late!", Kid Flash said. "I was helping little Timmy take his first steps. He's such a cute kid and his mom's been working so hard down at the corner market, I couldn't help but give them a hand and I wasn't watching the TV so I didn't see the newsflash-"

"Shut up, and stop him already!", Jarrod barked off as he pointed at Girder with tight hands and hunched shoulders.

"Oh, right!" Kid Flash zipped off between the lines of police officers and stood just in front of Girder.

Girder towered over him and snarled.

"Gah!", Kid Flash was taken back by the giant pile of living metal, he hadn't gotten a chance to get a good look at the criminal when he rushed to the scene. "Wow. Did someone prescribe the wrong anti-itch cream for your or something?"

"RAWR!" Girder swung his fist down and punched the cement where Kid Flash once stood about half a second ago.

"Okay, so I guess you're not willing to just sit down and talk?", Kid Flash asked from behind Girder.

Girder quickly swung his heavy head around, wiry metal hair whipping. "Talk's cheap!" Girder swung his massive arm but Kid Flash back stepped away in about 8 milliseconds.

"Oh, I get it. You're a tough guy, aren't you?", Kid Flash asked tauntingly.

"Ha! Look at me, boy! I'm made of metal!" Girder banged his fist against the huge pectoral plates on his chest. The result was a thunderous clang that resonated in Kid Flash's ears.

Kid Flash winced slightly at the loud clang. "Oh yeah, tough guy?" He took another long step back and used the tip of his boot to draw a line in the dust and debris that was scattered by Girder's destruction. "I bet you're not tough enough to cross that line!"

"You little punk!" Girder angrily stepped over in a single bound and stomped his heavy feet, covered by the largest work boots commercially available, into the pavement. "Ha!"

"Uh huh…" Kid Flash zipped far away, past the police line, and down the street. He quickly stabbed his toe into the mulch and dirt around the roots a tree that had been planted in a square pit of dirt in the sidewalk. He kicked his toe and spread a thin line of dirt and mulch on the road. "I bet you're not manly enough to cross this line over here!", he yelled out while cupping his hands over his mouth.

Girder jumped high into the air and soared over all the police cars. He created two small creators in the asphalt as his feet landed. Then he jumped again and landed with a ground-rattling shake on the other side of the line and right behind Kid Flash.

He smiled venomously with delight as he stared below at Kid Flash who seemed so tiny compared to him.

"Ah! Well, you sure ate your Wheaties today. But I bet you're still not manly enough to cross…" Kid Flash darted off down the street and quickly drew a line in a grassy medium between road lanes. "THIS LINE!", he yelled.

Girder ran and jumped and landed on the other side of the line just as Kid Flash darted off and drew another line with his foot. Girder ran and crossed that one too.

And Kid Flash ran and drew another line.

And Girder crossed it.

Kid Flash ran and drew another line.

Girder crossed it.

Another line.

Another line.

Another line.

It went on like that for nearly twenty miles as Kid Flash taunted and led away the less loveable, and less intelligent, version of the Iron Giant.

They had gone a long distance to travel on foot for most. But to a man with the superhuman strength to leap the length of a Disney Cruise Ship… And to a boy who ran warm-up laps around the city and marathons around the New England States… It was like a simple stroll from to the bathroom from one's living room couch.

"How about this line?", Kid Flash said as he drew a line in the soft soil and ran off again just as Girder stomped down over the line.

As Kid Flash stopped and drew another line, he took a few milliseconds to look around and discover he was in a junkyard that was mostly inhabited by rusted cars. A large dirty lake was on the other side of the junkyard and an electromagnetic crane towered next to a pile of dirt and rust covered cars.

He ran off again just as Girder landed on the other side of the newest line.

"Quit playing around!", Girder yelled. "When I get my hands on you, you'll wish you were never born! You'll hurt so bad you're grandma will feel it!"

"Uh huh…" Kid Flash drew a line in the soft earth of the junkyard as he skidded to a stop. "That's assuming you can catch me first, big guy. And unfortunately for you…" He pointed to the newest line. "I'm always just a one messily line away. Bet ya can't even get over here in one jump."

"You miserable little punk! I'll make you eat those words!" Girder squatted down and then launched himself into the air, falling strait towards Kid Flash while imitating a move he saw in a wrestling match.

Kid Flash didn't wait for him to almost come close. As soon as Girder was in the air, his fate was sealed. Kid Flash immediately darted off inside the cabin of the electromagnetic crane, took two blinks of an average eye to read over the control console, and pulled a lever. The diesel engines, left to idle during the union lunch break, obeyed Kid Flash's command as fast as it could.

Girder landed in the empty spot next to the line where Kid Flash once was. And he lifted his head up and was about to make a lewd remark when he felt a strange sensation. A strange tingle as everything in his body began to be drawn upwards. He looked up just as the giant magnet that the crane held fell right on him.

"Umph!" The surprised Girder fell under the weight of the magnet. His body, even his wiry metal hair, clung to the magnet's dirty surface and wasn't moving. He tried his mightiest to move and struggle, but the magnet seemed to zap the strength right out of his galvanized muscles.

The magnet suddenly began to rise again and it took Girder with it. Higher and higher it rose as the crane pulled the magnet into the air by it's thick chain.

"AGH! YOU! YOU LITTLE MAGET! I SWEAR I'LL CRUSH YOU AND WRING YOUR LITTLE NECK WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!", Girder yelled as he rose higher and higher.

Kid Flash pulled another lever and the magnet stopped its slow rise high above the junkyard dirt. Then he zipped out of the cabin and stood directly under the magnet. "Like I said, big guy… You'll have to get your hands on me first. And from up there… You better have pretty long arms."

Girder gritted his metal teeth and growled in animalistic frustration.

"Hey, don't worry, cuddles. I'm sure the nice policemen you threw cars at will get ya some nice shiny bracelets. Hey! They'll match you and bring out the color in your eyes." He grinned smugly as he rubbed verbal dirt in Girder's shiny face. "Later!"

And then Kid Flash was gone in a flash, leaving behind only a red and yellow blur that soon too disappeared.

"Agh! You little- Get back here so I can rip your face off!", Girder yelled. "I swear, this ain't over, kid! I'm gonna come back for you and when I do you're regret your parents ever meeting! You hear me! THIS AIN'T OVER!", Girder yelled to nobody in particular as police sirens drew closer.

-X-

Haze turned another page.

He wasn't wearing his purple costume, but rather felt comfortable in petty civilian attire for now. Of course, he still put on the suit randomly to simply go about his business in his room, or to look into his mirror and have an ego-trip.

He perched at the foot of his bed like a vulture as he read Sun-Tzu's The Art Of War for the second time. Near by on the floor was a pile of other books that he had read, all revolved around war, crime, or justice. His favorite of the books was the English translation of Mein Kampf.

If Haze was truly a vulture, then the discarded pile of books was surely the discarded carcasses of his supper after he had picked their spines clean of any useable nutrition or knowledge.

He was learning.

After he was defeated and humiliated by Red X, he had found that with concentration he was able to project nightmarish fantasies and sick dreams directly into the mind of his apparent sister, Lilith Clay. Ever since then, he had cultivated and trained this new ability by giving poor Lilith nightmares on an almost nightly basis. He had pushed the benevolent girl to go to therapy in an attempt to dissect and stop the barrage of nightmares, and that's when Haze decided that maybe he should stop using her as a constant test subject, lest the situation grew beyond his control. But by then, he had become good enough to project the horrible delusions into the minds of complete strangers, albeit with much more effort.

Whatever his new power, he couldn't depend entirely on it to bring about his revenge on the Teen Titans, perhaps Arrowette, and especially Red X. So he had begun researching the best and worst of crime and all the plans that accompanied megalomania. He even occasionally read books on crime and punishment to understand how his potential enemies might thing.

He heard a noise far away through his bedroom window, and turned his attention away from Sun-Tzu's teachings to spy out the window.

Outside, a humble mailman had inserted postals and parcels into the Jupiter Home's mailbox. Then he turned around and began to walk back to his pathetic little mail truck.

Haze narrowed his bright blue eyes and stared viciously at the man. He allowed himself to fantasize about shoving the man feet-first into a giant juicer. As the morbid thoughts danced inside his head like sugarplums, he closed his eyes and concentrated on sending the thought to the mailman.

The mailman was about to step into his truck.

Haze concentrated.

And then, suddenly the mailman's eyes opened wide as the horrible thoughts reached his conscious mind. He froze for a moment, shocked at how his thoughts had suddenly drifted from the last episode of his favorite reality show to visions of himself being pushed and processed in a giant juicer. He looked around in a slightly panicked way, then hopped into his truck and sped off.

Haze smiled to himself.

He picked up a ballpoint pen that had been lying around and began clicking it again and again, then twirled it among his fingers ever ten clicks. It was a compulsion he was developing without realizing it.

Leaving one hand to go about its obsessive compulsion, Haze held The Art Of War with the other hand and continued reading the book.

"Be extremely subtle, even to the point of formlessness. Be extremely mysterious, even to the point of soundlessness. Thereby you can be the director of the opponent's fate.", Sun-Tzu had written in his book.

"Hmm…" Haze had read that lesson before, but this time it carried a certain resonance he hadn't noticed before. He set the book down and stared off into space at nothing in particular.

He mused.

Then, he smiled.

Then, he plotted.

-X-

Red X was hurtling closer to the East Coast, having made the cross-country trip in the Titan's East ship in record time. He was quiet pleased. He could steal things all over the world, and then fence them on the other side.

Designed for interplanetary long distance space travel if needed, thanks to Starfire's teachings and Cyborg's circuits, the ship was very fuel independent. Of course, that didn't mean X couldn't shove in a Zynothium afterburning or something just for that little extra kick.

Red X's communicator rang.

It surprised him at first. Who would call him now? Who could call him?

He opened the communicator and was only half surprised.

"I heard you got a new ride.", Arrowette said over the device. Her voice was smooth and smug, as if she was trying to match egos with Red X and not seem like such an incompetent hero. But it was still the sweet, young, and familiar voice that Red X had come to hear from one a week if he was lucky.

"News travels that quickly these days?", Red X said.

"No, I just know Speedy pretty well. Said you busted in and took part of their ship, the only part that was built so far." Then she lost her smug tone and replaced with a curious one. "He also couldn't stop chuckling over something about Jell-O…"

Red X laughed to himself as he switched the craft over to autopilot. "For once, a superhero with a sense of humor. He's like Robin, but without the Bird-A-Rang crammed up his-"

"X!", Arrowette said before the thief could purposely let his tongue slip. She signed over the communicator, obviously loosing the battle of the egos. "Don't suppose there's any way I could convince you to turn around and give it back?"

"You kidding?" That's when he noticed the craft's on board computer had a web browser. "Next to the suit itself, this could be one of the best things I've ever stolen." With one hand he went to work on the computer.

"X…", Arrowette whined. "You're not making my job easy, you know."

"And you're not making mine a walk in the park either.", Red X replied with a hint of sharpness. Then something deep inside him remembered whom he was talking to. "Speaking of parks… You ever catch that Quicksand Mugger?"

"The dude who got the big idea to mug people in the city park then use some kind of instant adhesive on the ground to make his escape? Yeah, I got him.", Arrowette said mockingly about the stupid criminal. "Froze the quicksand with a Freeze-Arrow and then pummeled him with Boxing Glove-Arrows. Took me forever to stake out the park and catch him though." She was proud to boost of some accomplishment to the thief.

"Good for you, girl.", Red X said, not sure if he should encourage a hero. "Who was the loser behind the putty?"

"Some guy who stole the adhesive recipe from a company. I think he was a janitor or something."

"Should'a just sold off the recipe to the highest bidder.", Red X said.

"Yeah, well criminals can be dumb like that.", Arrowette sarcastically teased.

Red X crooked an eyebrow up high. Just as he did, the computer screen read "THANK YOU. YOUR ORDER WILL BE DELIEVERED IN LESS THEN 10 MINUETS."

"You're calling criminals dumb? Girl, I've seen your first costume.", Red X replied.

Arrowette audibly whined over the communicator. "Where did you find pictures of that…? I thought I everyone forgot about that!"

Red X chuckled. "I wouldn't blame them if they tried to. It's pretty bad."

"Hey! That costume was my mom's idea, not mine!"

Red X laughed.

"Ow… My fragile ego.", she said.

"Don't sweat it.", he said. "I've scene worse." He paused. "Speaking of which, I got to make another call. Later, blondy."

"Yeah yeah…", she said sarcastically. "Later, bone head.", she referred to the skull on Red X's mask. It was a nickname it took her months to finally figure out and she enjoyed using it.

Red X cut off the communication signal with her just as Jump City became visible beyond the horizon.

He pressed the touch screen of his communicator a few times.

Then after a moment, Spike's image appeared. The blue mechanic, who once called Atlas a champion, had an extra smear of grease on his cheek and a content smile. "Red X!", he said.

"Yo, Spike. You got that landing pad ready for me?"

"Yeah, it's all set for you.", Spike said like an employee honestly happy to serve a well paying customer. "But I gotta tell you, vehicles aren't my specialty."

"Let Fixit worry about the tech. You just put that artistic flare on it.", Red X said.

Red X had grown tired of using Gizmo to provide him with trustworthy tech and gear. Gizmo had always whined and was hardly ever on time with regular shipments of shuriken and other devices.

That's when Red X heard that Fixit and Spike, a cyborg looking to enjoy life and a brilliant mechanic looking for some respect, had teamed up. They made an excellent team. Fixit could create the most spectacularly performing machine and Spike was able to give it that personal, human, touch and make it look like a champion's machine. And on top of that, Fixit's little drone robots were always on time with X's regular shipments of supplies and toys.

Ah, the smell of capitalism, at work. Even in the black market.

Fixit and Spike had little qualms about selling their services to either side of the law, on the condition that they weren't building or maintaining any sort of doomsday device. Red X had similar scruples about his clients. Those scruples, combined with timely payments and how well Red X and Spike got along, quickly made Red X a favorite customer.

Spike was easy to get along with for Red X. Spike admired winners, and Red X rarely lost to either side of the war for Truth, Justice, and Pizza. Spike was eager to earn respect, so Red X simply was less sarcastic to him and treated him decently. That's how Red X won such fine treatment from a much better vendor of high-tech gear then Gizmo was.

Red X still employed Gizmo for big-ticket items that were out of Fixit's league, but the underground duo of Fixit and Spike had well become Red X's favorite suppliers and fixers.

"You got it, Champ.", Spike said over the communicator. "We'll be waiting for you.", Spike said in this obviously thick New York accent.

"Glad to hear. X out.", Red X said casually as he disconnected the conversation.

Red X put away his communicator and took the craft off autopilot. He contently piloted the ship closer to one of Jump City's junkyards, where Fixit and Spike had set up shop underground.

He even found himself humming a tone contently to himself as he flew the high-performance craft. He mused on the irony that the ship had been built to help fight crime, not to help commit heists.

Then his communicator rang out again. Half knowing who it was, Red X picked it up and opened it. "Hello?", he asked sweetly.

"X!!! YOU ORDERED TWENTY PIZZAS TO MY DOORSTEP?!", Arrowette screamed.

Red X threw his head back and laughed hysterically.

-X-

Six months later.

"Caravaggio's legendary Nativity with San Lorenzo and San Francesco.", Hamilton J. Starvro said of the painting on display in his gallery.

Hamilton J. Starvro was an obviously sophisticated man with tanned skin and he spoke with such pompous as to make more theatrical villains seem like meek nuns. He had a squared chin and a carefully trimmed mustache that testified to the pinnacle of culture and worthiness he had reached.

Of course, he wasn't Hamilton J. Starvro right now. When he did other business he donned a purple suit and tux, a hood, and a thin domino mask. The wardrobe was purple, or various shades of it. "Because everyone in costumed business has to dress like such.", he had said of it once. With mask firmly in place, he became a little known but very professional dealer in stolen artwork.

In real life, he was the owner of a fine art museum. But the excitement and intrigue of art and the theft of it had entrapped him. Rather then do the grimy job of stealing the precious art himself, he became quite content at buying the stolen art from thieves and specialized in ransoming the art back to their places of origin.

"This particularly valuable painting was one of the Italian artist's greatest works. It has not been scene in the public eye since it's daring theft in 1969. Since then it has been placed from one owner to the other on an intrepid journey of it's own. You, my good sir, are quite fortunate that it has fallen into my capable hands. Few people have gazed upon it's brilliance since it's theft, and many fear it will never be scene again…", Hamilton said. Then he spun around to face his guest. "And it can be yours for the pittance of twenty million!", he said like a car salesman.

"I don't know…", the sleazy, but rich, man said. He was overweight, and wore more gaudy jewelry then a professional rapper. But at least his jewelry was real. "What's with the kid with wings? And why's everyone look depressed?", he spoke with a New Jersey accent.

"It was painted in roughly the 16th century. Everyone painted like that back then."

"Mmm… I don't like all those Earthy tones. You got anything with more blues or greens?"

Hamilton strained to hold up his unamused facial expression. "I'll see if I have a Picasso or two… Or maybe you'd prefer some finger paints?"

"Sir?", Hamilton's butler announced his presence as he stepped into the gallery with all the discipline and grace of a gentlemen's gentlemen. "Your need in the south conference room, Sir. It's… Important."

Hamilton nodded at the butler and addressed his guest. "You'll have to excuse me for a moment. Please, look around and tell me if anything arouses your interest." With that, Hamilton happily turned around and stormed away from the man who knew next to nothing about art.

Hamilton's butler quickly fetched a small lead case and handed it to Hamilton as they walked. "Our guest's payment, Sir. I've been assured he's completed his task as always."

"Thank you.", Hamilton took the case and opened the heavy double doors of his conference room.

The conference room was bathed with white marble walls and a distinct absence of the Earthy colors Hamilton's other guest distasted.

"Yo." Red X sat at the end of the conference table, leaning back in the plush leather seat with his feet on the table. In one hand he flipped and balanced an artist's painting tube, in an attempt to chase away boredom that he made no effort to conceal.

"Ah… Red X.", Hamilton entered the conference room but did not take a seat. "I trust you have the final piece in the collection I have been seeking?"

"And I trust you have your end of the bargain?"

Hamilton set the heavy case on the smooth conference table and slid it quickly down the table's length.

At the other end, Red X quickly halted the sliding case with a single finger on it's top. Red X set his feet on the ground and stood from the chair. "Mind if I have a good look first?"

"I'd be insulted if you hadn't, Mr. X."

Red X opened the case and a resonating green glow emerged from inside. He withdrew a device from his belt and waved it over the hard glowing contents of he case. After a few beeps and readings from the small device, Red X closed the case and put away the device.

"Alright, looks like the real deal." He offered out his hand with the painting tube extended. "Here's your painting."

Hamilton contently strode over to Red X and took the painting tube from him. Then he withdrew and very carefully examined the painting within. "Magnificent. Thank you, Red X. You've once again proven yourself to be a dependable, although crude and brash, business man."

"Yeah, same to you, pal.", he mentioned with a hint of sarcasm. "Oh, and thanks for referring me to Anna. That girl can really paint. Thanks to her, no one will know that thing's missing for a while.", Red X pointed to the painting Hamilton examined. "Where'd you find that sweetie anyway?"

"An old associate of mine, a Mr. Knutzhorn, introduced us.", Hamilton said as he carefully rolled up his newest masterpiece and inserted it back into the tube. "It's not my business to pry, Red X, but I must ask. Why would you want a Carcinogenic Xenomineral such as that as payment? I was told your wardrobe was powered by less conventional materials, like Zynothium."

"Just in case." Red X shut the case. "I ran into SuperBoy once. Next time I see that Boy Scout, I'd like the odds to be a bit fairer."

"Ah.", Hamilton said in genuine admiration, but not much of it. "It does my heart good to see such wise planning in a youth."

"Yeah? And it does my heart good to keep breathing without a tube.", Red X said as he began to stroll away. He liked Hamilton's money, but disliked Hamilton as a person. With his reward, the case, clutched in his hand, he was eager to leave. "Later, fancy pants."

"Wait, just a moment. There's something else.", Hamilton held out a hand to stop the thief from passing by him.

Red X stopped and crooked an eyebrow in question.

"There's someone who's asked me to refer himself to you, Red X."

"Oh yeah? Who?"

"A Mr. Ross Malverk. He's a, to put it frankly, crime lord in Central City who would fancy himself taking over The Network one day."

"I'm not a mafia goon.", Red X said sternly.

"Of course, you're not. You see, soon a very special gem is going to be on display in Central City, and Ross Malverk is practically salivating at the thought of getting his hands on it. He'd like to meet with you, to see if you might be able to steal it for him."

"Another job, huh?", Red X said eagerly. He didn't like Hamilton's pompous and over-cultured attitude, and liked even less that he somehow assumed Red X to be similar to himself. It had been like a breath of fresh air to hear about a new client in a new city. "What's the score?"

Hamilton smiled knowingly. "The Heart of Eternity Diamond."

Red X's eyes widened in surprise, but only momentarily. Soon they lowered and narrowed as a deep, satisfied smirk formed under his mask.

"Tell him, it'll cost him.", Red X said.

………………………………………………………………………………...

Author's Note: Caravaggio's Nativity with San Lorenzo and San Francesco is a real painting that really was stolen in 1969 from a museum in Italy. Its value is currently estimated to be $20 million.

If you have any information regarding the whereabouts of the Nativity with San Lorenzo and San Francesco, contact me and we'll split the reward!

The Heart Of Eternity Diamond is also a real diamond. Thieves with a bulldozer and a speedboat tried to steal it and other diamonds in its collection on November 7th, 2000, but failed.

Please review! So I can feel good about myself.

………………………………………………………………………………...

Oh, and did you enjoy my butchery of the Spanglish language? For those of you who are wondering what Mas and Menos said but can't figure it out for the life of you, here's what they were supposed to have said, translated and paraphrased in English.

The twins served the dinner, which they said would be delicious. Menos says to eat it before the beans harden.

When Aqualad was about to eat it, Menos quickly muttered, "Wait till he tastes the special surprise!"

Mas asks if they used fresh beetles.

Menos says, "No. I used fresh stinkbug. Think he'll notice?"

When Red X appeared on the screen, they vowed they would not be defeated and that they would bring the masked man to jail.

And a few other little things I think you roughly understood.