Chapter One: Christmas Music

Or…

Santa's a Stalker!

A frustrated groan echoed across the Ops Room.

Of course, this groan was extremely dramatic, and obviously Beast Boy's own very distinctive groan. It sounded something like a monkey's howl mixed with… an attempt at a pathetic moan. Needless to say, the sound was highly annoying and highly unique. It was also something commonly heard, on an average of at least five times a day at Titan's Tower, and usually went ignored.

The exception to this was when the alien princess was in hearing range. Naturally being the caring and kind person Starfire was she would instantly ask what ailed Beast Boy. And of course, in this decisive moment of what is deemed in Teen Titan's history as "The-Groan-of-which-started-Christmas-at-Titan's-Tower", Starfire happened to be in hearing range.

Upon hearing the groan, Starfire immediately spoke, "Friend may I request-" she began sweetly, before being cut off, rather loudly, from Beast Boy.

Beast Boy screamed at the top of his lungs, completely ignoring the Tamarian teen's words of kindness, "No more country music! I can't take any more of this!" Beast Boy completed the comment with several exaggerated hand motions. Many, of which lose their translation in writing.

"Man," Cyborg shook his head in disdain, "First off, we've been listening to your 'hip-hop' music for hours! And I've had to watch you dance! That is worse that anything. I'm going to have to… erase it from my memory or something! And I turn the radio to one country song! One jammin' country song, and you pitch a fit!" Cyborg too matched Beast Boy's own hand motion's; throwing his arms over his head and shaking his fists repeatedly.

"Cyborg, country music can't be jammin'. If it was it wouldn't even be country music anymore… it would be… not country music," Beast Boy shot back, scoffing at his friend's taste in music, with what he clearly believed to be one of his best comebacks. Hence the large smirk on his face, not to mention the cackles at his own 'hilarious comeback' that escaped his otherwise perfect sneer.

Cyborg narrowed his eyes and called out towards the heavens, "Don't be hatin' on the country music! You don't even have any decent taste in music! So I wouldn't be talkin'."

"Well… don't be lovin' on the country music! I can't stand anymore! My eardrums are going to burst from the bad-ness of it!" Beast Boy bellowed at the cybernetic teen.

Cyborg grit his teeth together, "BB… we haven't even finished listening to one song. And you were pitching a fit before I could even hear a single note in the song!" Cyborg punctuated every word with an index finger jabbed in Beast Boy's chest.

"Well-" Beast Boy began, sure to come up with another clever comeback, when Starfire (finally finished with debating the meaning of the word "jammin'") interrupted.

Calmly, Starfire asked, "Cyborg… Beast Boy… may I simply not change the stations of radios to another music playing station? One that we all might enjoy?" Starfire completed the request with a large smile that even Raven had not quite mastered how to resist.

"As long as it isn't country."

"Just make sure it ain't hip hop."

Starfire blinked for a few seconds, first surprised her argumentative friends had agreed so quickly, and second, "What is the hop of hip? Perhaps… does it have to do with the hip that male human's seem to be so often attracted to?"

Cyborg sighed, "Nevermind Star, just… pick a radio station. If I have to listen to any more of Beast Boy's complaints…" Cyborg trailed off, not able to think of a good ultimatum.

Starfire shook her head, deciding to ask Robin later to the meaning of the 'hop of hip'. With this verdict in mind she walked (or more accurately floated) over towards the radio sitting harmlessly on the kitchen counter. After a few minutes of prodding, after all this was an item she was unfamiliar with, she turned the station dial until she came across a cheery tune.

Bouncing on the balls of her feet to the beat, Starfire asked happily, "What is this joyful song? I rather enjoy it. It makes one feel… blissful, does it not?" She began swaying from side to side, fully enjoying the music.

Raven, who up into this time, had been silently reading at the kitchen table, scoffed, "I cannot believe they are playing Christmas music this early. I mean… November just ended. I did not believe that the business tycoons were quite that… what's the word I'm looking for? Greedy."

"What is the music of the Christmas?" Starfire asked curiously, as she twirled suddenly, dancing to the song in delight.

Robin carefully put down his newspaper. Normally this was too early for him to interfere in the mild bickering of his two friends- especially before his cup of coffee. But when Starfire came into the mix…

Robin meticulously folded the newspaper, as an attempt to gather his thoughts before responding, "Well…. Star Christmas is-" Robin ended there, pausing to try to think of a way to sum up all of what he knew to be Christmas in a way that Starfire would be sure to understand. It was extremely challenging.

"It's this holiday in December," Beast Boy added helpfully, or, attempting to be helpful, "On December 24 and December 25. And in my, wise opinion, the best darn holiday there is! "

Raven jeered, "Beast Boy, since when have you ever had anything to do with the word wise? Much less formulate a wise opinion. In fact, I highly doubt the word 'wise' is even in your vocabulary'." And after making her comment, Raven went back to reading. Though, she still paid attention to the conversation going on with the rest of Titans. After all… this was a very interesting conversation indeed.

"Right," Robin nodded, ignoring Raven's sarcastic comment- as those were not a rarity in Titan's Tower, or agreeing with it, "Christmas is a holiday that takes place in-between December 24, called Christmas Eve, and December 25, Christmas Day. See… there was this man, a long, long, long time ago. His name was Jesus…"

"Jesus?" Starfire questioned, testing the word on her tongue, and searching for approval once she had said it. She did not wish to besmirch this Jesus' name.

Robin nodded again, and gave Starfire a reassuring smile, "Right. Jesus Christ."

"Rob? What are you telling her about? Where's Santa come in? I mean, that's what Christmas is all about. And presents. Not some dude named Jesus." Beast Boy proclaimed loudly, which only resulted in Raven whacking him over the head. Beast Boy then proceeded to whisper darkly about evil people's conspiracies against Santa.

Robin shot the green teen a glare, "I was getting to that."

"I am… confused."

"Ignore Beast Boy, Star. I'll get to that later okay? Good. This man… Jesus… well he was born from Virgin Mary… and he's supposed to be God's son… in this religion, called Christianity which celebrates Christmas." Robin stumbled through his explanation, trying to explain years of tradition in terms Starfire could understand.

Starfire processed this, "Virgin? But if she was the virgin… how might she have had a child? I believed to have a child one must-"

Robin blushed deeply at this part, and quickly cut Starfire off, "Um… I'll get into that later, too. Anyways. Christmas is supposed to celebrate the birth of this… good man. Who was supposed to have done great, miraculous things for others that were less fortunate during his time."

"Was he a super-hero?" Starfire questioned thoughtfully, "He seems as if he was a rather kind man."

Robin chuckled, "No… but some religious people believe he's something like a super-hero. You can read about it in the Bible, Star."

"Yeah, yeah, that's all of the religious bullshit…" Beast Boy trailed off at the glare Robin gave him.

Sure, the Boy Wonder was allowed to use profanities as often as he wanted… but could Beast Boy utter a profanity without getting a death glare? Nooo… especially when it was in front of Starfire. No one, not even Robin, was allowed to use profanities in front of Starfire… without invoking the wrath of Robin. And nobody liked to invoke the wrath of Robin. Well… Slade did… when he was on the TV screen. But not even Slade liked to pick a fight with Robin when they were face to face.

Raven sighed, "Starfire… the basic gist of what Christmas is now… besides being the birth of Christ… is that there's this guy…. Santa, he comes into your house and leaves presents. Isn't that a great role model?" Raven scoffed and finished the comment with a roll of her eyes.

Starfire blinked, "We have men similar to that on my planet…"

"So you understand about Christmas?"

Starfire blinked twice, as she carefully said, "I suppose… I do somewhat… but I would enjoy learning more about it."

Robin smiled, "Don't worry about it now. Maybe when I've got more of an idea myself, I'll tell you. Or… at least an idea of how to explain this to you. In the meantime… I'm sure you'll like the Christmas music. Here, turn up the radio. This song's called 'Santa's Coming to Town'. Maybe it will help you grasp the concept of Santa a little better." Robin said with a smile in Starfire's direction.

Starfire smiled brightly back and him and hurriedly went away to turn up the radio. Bouncing on the balls of her feet all the way to the radio.

As soon as she was out of earshot Cyborg whispered, "So… who's going to tell Star about Virgin Mary?"

"Who even told her what a virgin was?" Beast Boy asked in wonderment.

Cyborg and Beast Boy immediately fixed their gazes on Starfire's usual dictionary of choice… Robin.

Robin's only response was to blush a very colorful shade of red, one that could only have matched the vibrant red on Santa's suit, not to mention a glare in the males directions, "Shut-up" he muttered incoherently.

The two boys burst out in howls of laughter. In fact, Beast Boy fell on the floor and started rolling around laughing loudly (to which Raven 'accidentally' stepped on him). Cyborg too, fell to the floor, though also laughing very hard, instead of rolling on the floor, slapped his fist repeatedly on the ground. Both were laughing so hard that their vision became blurred due to tears of mirth.

Starfire soon floated back over to the Titans, the music wafting over the air. A look of puzzlement was written all over her face.

He sees you when you're sleeping.

He knows when you're awake.

"I believe I now fully understand the concept of Santa," Starfire said, looking slightly disturbed, not nearly as jubilant as she was only moments before when she was listening to the 'cheery tune' oblivious to what it meant.

"What? That's he's an over-commercialized man, who doesn't truly exist?" Raven asked, and after a short pause added, "If you get that… could you please explain it to Beast Boy?"

Starfire shook her head, "No… this Santa of Earth's… he is a stalker no? Is that why you dislike him so much Raven? Did this evil man stalk you when you were younger?" Starfire trailed off, at the wide-eyed look the Titans were giving.

"What?" Robin asked, wearing such a look of bewilderment… one could go so far to say it made him look cute.

Raven simply, looked sick to her stomach at that thought.

Beast Boy seemed very offended that someone could even attempt to tarnish Santa's name and reputation. In fact, if they kept up this behavior, Beast Boy highly doubted that they would even get one present from Santa. Possibly… they might get coal. Beast Boy himself had never gotten coal.

Cyborg… rolled on the floor laughing. Rarely, being ignored in a conversation, as he often was ignored, was this amusing.

"Robin! I am surprised you are not listening to the lyrics of this song! He is constantly watching us. He knows what we are always doing! Is this not the stalker like behavior?" Starfire asked, tilting her head to the side, "Should we perhaps go to his home and capture him? We must stop this malicious and odious man!"

A few moments of silence lapsed, as the Titans were all rather… stunned with this unique look on Santa Claus.

Finally, Robin managed to regain control off his voice box, "… Okay Star, I think we need to start over from the beginning."