Chapter 41- Epilogue

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Author's notes: There it is, the final chapter of this long-running story. You will notice it is longer than usual chapters, but I thought I was necessary to tie everything up.

I want to thank all my readers and reviewers but especially two people: my friend Jo, who planted this Suby idea in my head and my beautiful girlfriend who inspires me to write the fluffy and smutty stuff, ah ah!

So, please read on and don't forget to tell me what you thought of the series finale ;)

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Time does fly by.

Yesterday you were changing their diapers, holding them as they took their first wobbling steps, cheering as they said their first words and now, here are you clapping proudly at your son by the sidelines.

You beam at the sight of Mark's team mates jumping onto him, embracing him and you whistle your appreciation as if this was a World Cup game and not a Sunday League soccer game…

At the end of the game, he flashes that smile he's inherited from his mother "Did you see my goal, mama?!".

You hug your boy tightly "I'm so proud of you, baby! You played so well!"

He throws his bag over one shoulder and talks with his friends as you approach your car. You smile at your son's dishevelled figure: the knee-length socks are rolled over his skinny calves, the t-shirt is all strained and that damp and messy hair.

Boys will be boys…

Your cell phone rings, you flip it open before opening the car door.

"Hey, where are you?", Susan chirps in your ear.

"Still at soccer academy. Our son was the star of the game…", you smile as you make sure Mark buckles his seatbelt.

"Really? Deserves a little treat, then! What do you say we all stop at Bruno's for a sundae, in… 15 minutes?".

"Sure, we'll be right there!".

After you park your car, you tuck his shirt into his shorts, run your hand through your boy's hair "You need a haircut, lil' man…", you smile and try to stroke his blond locks into place. He shakes his head and starts running when he spots Susan and Audrey a few feet away from you.

"Mark! Slow down…", you call hopelessly.

Susan opens her arm and lifts him up, perching him on her hip. They're getting too heavy for you two.

"I'm so proud of you, champ!", Susan coos as she kisses his cheek and lets him down.

He smiles and grabs her arm excitedly "Can I have a mega-sundae, please mummy?".

"Me too, me too!", Audrey cries, clutching at her other arm.

She makes as if she's thinking and then nods and they both rush into the small diner.

"Hey missy, you're not gonna kiss mama hello?", you call out.

Audrey stops on her tracks and comes back to throw her arms around your neck. You kiss your little girl lips and she rushes back after her brother.

Susan places a hand on your lower back, pushing you gently into the door "If I could just have half their energy…", she sighs.

"Coffee?", you ask, as Susan sits on one of the tables.

"Please!", she smiles and you motion for the counter. The twins are babbling on with one of the bartenders, picking flavors and toppings. Audrey's being all indecisive but ends up choosing whatever Mark did. You tell them to sit down "No running…", you say in a firmer voice.

They nod and you smile as you watch them going, hand in hand, until they reach your table. You get your coffees and place everything on a tray and chuckle at their excitement and greed.

Soon there's ice-cream all over your table as well as over Mark's soccer shirt and Susan's trying to wipe off chocolate from Audrey's linen skirt…

"So how was it at the hygienist?", you ask.

Susan rolls her eyes "Such a drama queen! I thought we'd have to restrain her…".

You chuckle and lay your face on your hands, gazing at these two over-energized creatures that changed your life completely. It's a cliché saying your life changes after motherhood, but it's so true.

Surprisingly, everything seems easier now. Your decisions are based on what's best for them and the rest is the rest.

---

"Your CT is clean, so we have to look for other possibilities…", you say while ordering new exams.

The girl sighs heavily "I'm fine…".

"Well, you've been having headaches for the past weeks, it's not normal for someone of your age, we have to check everything… How are things at school?", you ask.

"Ok. Look doctor, I'm fine! My mom's just being paranoid, that's all…", she sighs again.

You smile. "That's what mothers do. Problems with your boyfriend?".

She laughs and shakes her head "That would make things so much easier…", she mumbles.

"You know that everything you say stays between you and me, right?", you smile in encouragement.

She shakes her head and opens her mouth as if to speak, then decides against it. You look at her waiting for her to open up.

"I'm just… I'm tired, you know?"

You cock a brow "Tired of what?"

"I'm tired of… having to be normal…"

"You look pretty normal to me. What's going on?", you smirk a little.

"I have this friend, Emily… She's just so beautiful and cool, we were best friends and… I couldn't help it… I tried but…", she starts crying, you clutch at her arm, she continues "I fell for her and we even kissed and all… now she's dating this creep from the football team and she won't even talk to me…".

She sniffles, you hand her a Kleenex.

God. Every once in a while you get a case like this. You know what it's like to feel guilty for what you're feeling but you can't even imagine how it's like growing up feeling so restrained, scared, ashamed…

She takes a deep breath in, looks at you "I just wanted to be normal…"

"You are normal, there's nothing to be ashamed of…".

She cuts you off "That's easy for you to say!"

"Did you talk to your mother about this?", you ask cautiously.

She lets out an ironic laugh, shakes her head.

"She worries about you, Christie…"

"And she's also a die-hard Christian and a republican, too. I've always knew… since I was 10. I told her once that I liked girls and she threatened to send me to one of those ex-gay camps. I'm just waiting to be 18 and just leave home…", she replies while wiping her nose.

It breaks your heart when you hear stories like this. You don't know if it's unethical or something but…

"I know this is hard…", you start.

"You couldn't possibly know", she snaps back.

"What happened to you, it happened to me too… falling in love with your best friend. The difference is that I was much older than you are and, you know what, it was still very difficult for me. I fought against my own prejudice for a long time…", you confide.

She now looks interested "So what happened? Don't tell me she ditched you for a guy too?"

"We're together. We have a family together", you nod, smiling.

She smiles back "Thank you for sharing that… gives me hope, I guess…".

You scribble down on a piece of paper "Physically, there's nothing wrong with you so I can't do much but here's my number and I want you to call me if you feel you need to talk, or something, ok?", you say, giving her your number.

She nods at you, smiling "Thank you, Dr. Lockhart".

---

"Are we there yet?", Audrey asks eagerly.

"Almost there, sweetie…", Susan answers without looking up from her palm pilot.

"Can we have a puppy?", Mark asks from the backseat.

You look at him through the rear-view mirror "We'll see about that, okay sweetpie? It's a great responsibility. Who's gonna take care of it when we're not home?".

"Gillian has TWO!", says Audrey waving her hands in the air.

"Daddy has one!", Mark pouts.

"Daddy has a very big garden, honey. And a large staff to look after it…", Susan declares.

"What is staff?", your daughter asks, always curious about everything…

Susan turns back to look at them "It's the people that work there at daddy's".

"Harry, Alger, Barbara, Mary…", Mark says, sticking out his little fingers as he enumerates everyone…

"That's right", she smiles and turns to you "I just hope he doesn't overdo it…", she sighs.

"I mean, it was nice of him to offer the mansion for the party but…".

You interrupt her "We're talking about Carter here, of course he's going to overdo it. He just can't help it!", you smile, shrugging your shoulders.

"Just got a text from Suzie, they're on their way. What about your mother and Eric?".

"Oh, I forgot to tell you. She called earlier. Carter's sending a car to pick them up at the airport…", you chuckle, shaking your head..

"Hope it's not the stretch limo…", she laughs.

"Maggie would love it…Audrey, sweetie, don't crumple up your dress…", you smile through the mirror.

Everyone showed up at the twins birthday party. So many familiar faces makes you wonder who's actually working at County… Not that you care. There's nothing like seeing them so happy and excited, playing with the farm animals, clowns, jugglers and magicians Carter hired…

"Mama! Mama! He has a real rabbit inside his hat!!", Audrey comes running to you, shrieking in excitement. You kneel and kiss her cheek, she pulls at your hand "Come and see!".

"I'll be right there, princess…". She comes back running, sits right next to her brother.

These two are inseparable. It's like they have their own language, their own little world. They refuse to sleep in different rooms, play together all the time, even at school. Their teacher even suggested that they should take different activities so they would "blend and socialize more" with the other kids. You thought it was a load of bullshit, but Susan kept insisting that she had a point, you acquiesced and now Mark plays soccer and Audrey takes gymnastics classes.

"You ok?", you turn around and see Carter cradling his son, Nicholas, in his arms.

"Yeah... Thanks for all this, Carter", you smile.

He shakes his head, shrugging his shoulders.

"You spoil them! What about this puppy talk, now?", you chuckle.

"I don't know what you're talking about!", he says with a pseudo-angelic smile.

You stroke Nicholas chubby cheek, your fingers tracing his beautiful olive skin, then look up at his proud father "I really want to thank you, John. For everything you've done for us… Thank you".

The sad look he used to have in his eyes is now replaced by a shiny and glowing gaze, he smiles "Oh, come on Abby. We're family now. Now… Let me take this little one inside…", he whispers and you follow him with your eyes.

That laugh you could recognize miles away makes you look around until you spot your mother giggling hysterically, her hand on Susan's father chest "Oh, Harry!", she says in a flirty voice…

You approach them and grab her discreetly by the elbow "Mom, what are you doing?", you say between clenched teeth.

"What do you mean, sweetie? I'm just talking to Harry!", she smiles at him over your shoulder.

"Could you stop flirting with him? He's Susan's father in case you forgot!".

"Abby, I love you very much but you're narrow-minded just like your father! We're both single and at the zenith of our existence…".

You roll your eyes and give up, Henry doesn't seem to mind, anyway.

You look at all your friends and family enjoying themselves. Ray's playing his guitar next to the pool, Eric and Neela belt out an old Sonny & Cher song and Suzie's holding Audrey on her lap who claps along…

County's new Chief of Pediatrics ER, Doug Ross, is improvising teams for an impromptu ball game. Mark is there, always excited to be involved in some sports activity, as well as the Ross girls, Kate and Tess, Ella Greene, Henry Weaver, Malik and Jerry. Luka insists to play even though he still has no idea about the rules…

You approach the girls' corner, everyone's laughing as Chloe tells some story about Susan having a perm done in her youth.

"Why'd you do that?", Kerry asks, shaking her head in disbelief, sipping at her vodka.

"She wanted to be Coco, you know, from Fame!", Chloe chirps.

"It was the eighties, everyone had permed hair!", Susan chuckles, shrugging her shoulders.

You curl an arm around her waist "I bet you looked good with the 'fro. No pictures, Chloe?", you joke.

"I burned them all", Susan deadpans and everyone laughs.

"You always want what you can't have, I always wanted straight hair!", Carol smiles and shakes her head, Elizabeth nods in agreement.

Kem puts in "Know that you mention it, I found some old pictures of John with a very bad perm, may I say…".

Everyone succumbs with laughter, even more when he approaches with that clueless face and asks "What's so funny?..."

You pull Susan to a quieter corner "Quite a party, huh?".

She smiles, runs a hand through her hair "I hadn't had this much fun in a long time… I'm a little tipsy, too…", she smirks.

"Well, don't get too drunk or I might take advantage of you later…", you purr and lean to kiss her lips, gently.

She smiles and you both stay a moment like that, touching foreheads and kissing until Morris comes crumpling up, stops when he sees you two "Oh man, this is hotter than 'Horny Lesbos 3'…".

"Morris, don't be a pig", you sigh.

He shakes his head slowly, then throws an arm around each of you, kisses your cheek "I love you, Abs!", then turns to Susan "And I love you, chief!".

You both observe him zigzagging his way to the core of the party, throwing his arm around Pratt and Jing-Mei and repeating his love statements much to everyone's amusement...

---

One summer morning, you oversleep for the first time in years. The house is so calm, Susan must've taken the kids somewhere…

In the bathroom, you wash your face and brush your teeth. You look closely at the fine lines that start to appear around your eyes. Despite of that, you don't look bad, you decide.

You go to the kitchen, reheat the coffee and read the paper while waiting for your toast. Only when you finish breakfast, you notice Susan's outside, stretched on one of the sunloungers you bought for the yard.

You spend a moment just looking at her, something you've not done in a long time. She's wearing an old summery dress she only wears around the house. You love it, it clings on the right places and when's she laying like that, reveals far more than it's supposed…

The phone rings, you motion to get it, but it stops ringing before you get it. You don't recognize the number on the screen, so you guess it was just someone calling the wrong number.

Arms slide around your waist, taking you by surprise "Hey…", she coos softly.

Her skin his hot from the sun, you're enjoying the feeling of her skin on yours "Where are the kids? It's so quiet…", you say, turning to face her.

"At Neela's. I decided to accept that babysitting offer…", she smiles idly.

"We're both off today…", you reply, a little nonplussed.

She nods then captures your lips with her mouth "Well, I woke up… saw you looking so cute right next to me… and decided that today I wanted you all to myself…".

"Oh… ok", you grin against her lips, Susan lowers her hands and cups your buttocks, backing you against the kitchen worktop, pressing her body against yours.

"What… here?", you chuckle, cocking a brow at her.

She lifts you and perches you on the counter, "Why not?" she smiles. While her mouth teases all the sensitive spots on your neck, your hands wander under her golden locks… Susan pushes your shirt up, until your breasts are at her disposal, she looks at you, cockily, before taking one of them between her lips.

A soft mew escapes from your throat, as she kneads and sucks at your breast lovingly, her other hand descending, stroking your stomach, stopping at the waist of your cotton bottoms.

After a few seconds struggling with the drawstring, you remove her hand and undo them yourself. Slowly.

Her eyes are heavy with passion, you smirk at her "Easy does it, babe…".

She remains silent, her eyes fixed on your lower body. You pull your panties down, lift your bum a little and let them puddle to the floor. Susan kicks them to the side and places herself between your legs, you close the distance between you two by throwing your legs around her waist.

Her fingers trail up your back, she cups the back of your neck and kisses you anxiously, her tongue stroking yours daringly.

When she pulls back, flushed and turned-on, she lets her fingers land on your lower abdomen, you arch your spine when she slips two of them into your wet folds "So ready for me…", she whispers, breathing a little faster than usual.

As quickly as you feel them slipping in, you feel them withdrawing. You groan at the sudden emptiness "Susan…".

She just smiles and lays her moist fingertips on your lips. Eyes locked with hers, you take her fingers on your mouth, sucking gently at first, tasting yourself on her… Then you suck harder until she moans and looks even more turned-on.

She replaces her fingers with her lips, her tongue ravishing you and her wet fingers entering you again, this time more vigorously, stroking you so passionately... Her other arm curls around you, pulling you to her fingers, you think you're going to melt in her arms, it feels so good…

A muffled cry of release escapes form your lips and you cling tightly to her, trying to catch your breath again, your cheek resting on the crook of her neck. After a few minutes of peaceful bliss, you take a deep breath in, drawing in her unique essence and press your lips on her neck. "Was a good idea…", you mumble against her skin.

She pulls back, looks at you quizzically "Huh?".

Your lips curl into an easy smile, your hands stroke her hair more or less into place "Letting Neela baby-sit".

"Oh…", she chuckles, nodding.

Upstairs, in your room, you draw letters on her back with your tongue. You love playing this game with her. She's can't keep focused much long and ends up losing most times. And then she has to do whatever you want and…

"That was definitely a C…", she chuckles and groans when you stop a moment to sink your teeth on her side.

You continue spelling it, she asks sceptically "Colostomy?...".

You let a chuckle out "Ew, why on earth would I spell that on your back with my tongue? Focus!". You restart, this time on the small of her back, your tongue stroking the cute hollows she has there…

She muffles her moans on her pillow, then cries out in frustration "Ok, I give up!".

You slide up her body, making sure your nipples tickle her back, nibbling at the back of her neck "You suck at this…".

She chuckles low in her chest, then decides to share "Is that my cue?...". You can't help laughing out loud, this woman just cracks you up. "Sounds good too me…", you whisper in her ear.

Susan rolls on top of you, her hair falling into her face and tickling you as she sucks and nibbles at your neck, trailing all the way up, kissing your chin, your jaw line, twisting her tongue in your ear. Blindly, you reach for her breasts and relish on the feeling of their softness and weight on your palms, then you rub and pinch her nipples just a little, making her gasp in your ear…

She tells you to sit up against the headboard. Then decides the position isn't perfect and grabs a cushion, you sit on it. Susan parts your legs and dives into you. Her nose tickles your clit and you feel her tongue parting your labia, entering you softly. You have to grab the sturdy headboard not to lose it right away…

You look down and the sight of her tongue entering, tasting, teasing, loving you is just too much… Her hands try to immobilize your jerking hips, you opt for cupping the back of her neck, pulling her to you. She knows you're hot and close and wants to torture you just a little more… Your toes curl violently and, God, you have to scream or you're going to die…

The familiar wave of colorful heat pumps through your body and you're afraid you might collapse. When you recover, she's still there, nibbling carefully at your over-sensitized clitoris, kissing you, sucking gently then more aggressively and it comes back again and again, excruciatingly, almost painfully stronger…

You open your eyes and regain full consciousness, she's right next to you, smiles "Multiples, huh?".

"You want to kill me…", you chuckle, spent but at the same time refreshed.

"Me? Nah. Not my fault you taste so damn good…", she teases and plants a kiss on your lips, before returning to her previous position. Her fingers stroke your ribcage softly.

When you're recovered, you pat her hair "What about you? What do you need?".

She edges herself on her left elbow, smiles "Oh, I'm fine… Listening to you screaming my name at the top of your lungs got me goin'…".

Your cheeks blush, you roll your eyes "I did not scream…".

She comes closer, whispers huskily "You sure did. And it's been a while since I last heard you screaming like that… Pretty hot…".

"Gotta enjoy the empty house…", you smile lazily. Then, when she's not looking, you roll you both and straddle her, purse your lips while you think about what you're going to do with her…

"Abby…", she calls you out of fantasy land.

"Yeah?", you question your sexy hostage…

"Fuck me, will you?".

I love this woman.

You smirk at her and make her part her legs, placing one leg between them. They clamp around your thigh and you feel how badly she wants you. Her eyes roll in pleasure as she rubs herself against you and she pleads you "I need your fingers… now…".

A knot forms in your throat when you see the desire in her eyes, her voice… When you touch her she's so damp it's almost unbelievable, your fingers slide in without any resistance and you eyes marvel at her body arching, breasts rising dramatically to your viewing pleasure…

You try not to go too fast, despite her protests, you want this to last… She feels so soft and warm, you find a little ripple inside her and stroke it. "Ooh…", she convulses in front of you and opens her eyes "More…", she says before her breathing goes absurdly heavy.

"You sure?", you ask, even though you know the answer.

She looks at you manically and curls her leg around your waist, pushing your fingers deeper into her. So you try to bunch your fingers together and they slide in surprisingly easily.

She looks flushed and her skin's glistering with sweat. Her hands grip angrily at the bed sheets and she lifts her hips, impaling herself even more on your wrist and you've never seen anything so fucking beautiful in your life...

Suddenly, a hoarse cry escapes from her throat and she succumbs on the bed, worn out and glowing.

You spend the rest of the afternoon, spooning lazily, sharing slow, caressing kisses until she reminds you that Neela will drop the kids at six.

You're fresh from the shower when Neela brings them home. Susan's in the kitchen preparing dinner and asks you to answer the door.

They throw themselves at your neck at the same time and you almost fall down all three of you, you ask them how their day was and they babble on happily.

"I touched the baby chimp, mama!", Audrey says excitedly.

You kiss you daughter's smooth hair and look up at Neela chuckling at their excitement and happiness. Mark runs to the kitchen to show Susan a picture they took at the Zoo and Audrey follows him.

You kneel up and eye Neela "So, survived a day with the Dynamic Duo?", you smile, gesturing her to sit on the couch.

She chuckles, waving a hand in the hair "Piece of cake. They're amazing kids! We had a ball!".

You release your hair from the collar of your shirt "Well, thanks, it was nice to have a whole day to…".

Neela narrows her eyes at you "Oh, my God! Are those lovebites?", she says pointing at your neck.

"Huh, what?".

She leans and pulls down your collar, then chuckles "Blimey! I'm not gonna ask what you did all day!", she laughs with gusto.

"You have hematomas all over your neck! Aren't you on tomorrow?", she manages to ask between her laughs.

"From 7 to 7, yeah…", you reply somewhat embarrassed.

"Turtleneck day, then!", she declares still looking at your neck, intrigued.

"In the middle of summer? Don't think so…", you answer.

"Abby… It's obscene! Looks like you had a date with Count Dracula or something!", she giggles.

You roll your eyes at her "I'm sure people know she have sex like everyone else…".

She shakes her head "You have to do something about that… Besides it's rude to flaunt it like that…".

You both chuckle and you lean back on the couch "Oh, someone needs to get laid…".

"Haven't had any in ages, it's not even funny!", she laughs then stammers a little "Huh, hi, Susan!".

Susan appears from the kitchen, looks at you both "Hi Neela. Thank you so much for today, we really needed some time to just relax. They loved the Zoo trip!".

Neela looks at you mischievously then smiles "Sure, my pleasure. Was fun!".

"Hope you're staying for dinner?"

"Oh, I'd love to!", she accepts.

"Mummy, it's burning!" Audrey cries out.

"Oh, shit!", Susan rushes back into the kitchen in a hurry.

"'We really needed some time to relax'", Neela smirks and mimics her voice.

You shake your head and throw her one of the cushions.

---

Persistent rays of light taunt you until you're completely awake and can't fall back asleep. You don't move, just lay there warm and comfy, legs enlaced with Susan's, you two cocooned under the comforter.

You find yourself smiling at the peacefully sleeping woman right next to you. Just being with her like this makes your stomach twirl… You're so, so lucky. Who would have thought a random night of sex with your best friend you'd end up like this?

What if you had never slept with her? You'd probably be ruining relationship after relationship, feeling miserable and sorry for yourself. Come to think of it, Susan's the first person you've been with that isn't broken or hurt. She's like a source of light or a shiny rainbow. And she's gentle, loving, trustworthy, smart, fun. Sexy.

In a perfect world, Susan would be your Prince Charming with the horse and all. But world isn't perfect, you're not perfect. And despite everything, you and her are perfect for each other.

If someone had told you you'd end up with a woman and having kids and the whole lot, you would've laughed. You laugh now because that was the best thing that could have happened to you. She never tried to change you, but being with her changed you.

You're so much stronger now. Before, you'd be terrified to end up alone because they always left you anyway. You used to think that you'd protect yourself if you didn't show them how you felt, your insecurities.

With her you find yourself saying exactly what you're thinking, telling her how you feel and it's so wonderful to be able to love someone and do it completely unguarded, without fearing that they'll leave you… You can't, obviously, see the future but you see her in yours and you know she feels the same. You know she'll never do anything to hurt you and living with that kind of certainty is unbelievingly powerful.

It makes you laugh when you think of how scared you were of people's reactions. In all these years together, you can say most people were supportive. A few forgettable episodes but that's it.

You used to worry about Mark and Audrey growing up with two mothers but it was never a problem for them. You're 'Mama', Susan's 'Mummy' and they know Carter is 'Daddy'. It's important for them to have a strong male figure and Carter just loves them as much as they love him and their half-brothers.

They asked you a few questions after they heard some comments at school but it was never an issue. You explained them that families are different, that some kids have a mother and a father, others two mummies, or just a father. You had this whole speech prepared but they just nodded and asked you if they could have marshmallows for dinner…

They're amazing kids, having them was the best decision you ever made. They're loving and caring, stick for each other no matter what. They're growing up fast and you sometimes have to restrain yourself from being too pushy and controlling but Susan's easy nature balances everything out.

Susan.

She runs a hand through her hair, sighs still half-asleep. The ring on her left hand shines, reflecting the sunlight that peeks through the curtains and you know your eyes are shining too. This giddiness, the butterflies in your stomach, the warm pleasure of being with the person… Like when you're falling for someone. You feel them all over again.

She flutters her pale eyelids, focuses those beautiful green eyes on you and you feel your chest burning in cosy satisfaction.

"Morning…", she mumbles sleepily, stretching her limbs under the covers.

You smile and lean, answering with a languid kiss.

You two work because you accept each other's faults and annoying habits and love each other despite of them. She knows you're bull-headed and you know she says things she doesn't mean when she's angry. You're a control-freak and she's not afraid to point it out. You gave up trying organizing her drawers, she likes her chaos. She doesn't interrupt you when you're reading and you don't disrupt her when she's doing her yoga-thing...

Simple, huh?

And maybe it is supposed to be like that. Maybe falling over and over again for the same person is what real love means.

Maybe it is feeling tears of joy creeping up when she snuggles into you, her lips brushing your neck ever so lightly and you take her hand and place it over you heart.

She feels it beating faster, looks up at you and then lays a kiss right there.

And you know life can't possibly get any better.

---

The End

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