Love Potion #99.1

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the original characters or places. I've only kidnapped…I mean borrowed them for a few hours.

I just realized that I never posted this on this site. This is a response to a challenge on another site to come up with the strangest pairing that you could think of. Well, here it is….

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Carlos stood by watching Holly Levine as she stirred something in a small boiler on the station's range. Sniffing the air, he frowned and walked closer to get a glance at the murky liquid. It was a pale green and smelled like….well he couldn't really place that smell. "Uh….Levine, what is that?"

Holly didn't hear him over the low humming noise she was making. It reminded Carlos vaguely of someone chanting. Clearing his throat, he tried again. "LEVINE."

At that, Levine jumped, knocking an empty soda can from the cabinet with a 'clang.' "Carlos, what are you doing?" she said, startled.

"What are you doing?" Carlos sounded back. "And what is that?" He pointed at the mixture.

"Oh, ummm….that's just a little something I'm working on." Levine said with a slight giggle. "Hand me that soy jerky, will you?" she asked, pointing behind Carlos.

Carlos did as asked. "You're not putting that in…there…are you?"

"Of course not, silly. You don't put jerky in a love potion." Holly clapped her hand over her mouth, her eyes large, when she realized what she'd said.

"A LOVE potion." Carlos laughed. "You've gotta be kidding me." Seeing a frown on Holly's face, "You are kidding, right?"

Holly crammed a piece of the jerky into her mouth and tried to ignore Carlos.

"Holly?" Carlos quizzed.

Letting out a sigh, she decided that it might just be best to let Carlos in on her little plan and swear him to secrecy. "Look, Carlos. I'll tell you what I'm doing, but you have to promise that you won't repeat a word of this to anyone."

Carlos gave her a questioning look.

"Promise, Carlos." Holly repeated.

"Ok, ok. I promise."

"Now turn around in a circle three times." Holly instructed.

"What?"

"You heard me." Holly insisted, grabbing Carlos by the shoulders to start him turning.

"Ok. Alright. Just don't touch me." Carlos grumbled as he completed the turns. "Now what?"

"That seals it. If you tell, you'll be hexed." Holly replied.

Carlos rolled his eyes. "So what is this big secret?"

"Ok…This is a love potion guaranteed by Madam Malinda to work every time." Holly said dramatically.

Carlos peered into the pot doubtfully, then looked back at Levine. "Uh huh. So who is the poor unsuspecting fool you plan to use this on?"

"That's why you have to keep quiet. No matter what. You can't tell."

"Yeah, yeah, or I'll be hexed." Carlos said impatiently.

Holly grinned from ear to ear. "It's Ty."

Upon hearing his roommate would be the object of Levine's potion, Carlos erupted in laughter. "Tyyyyyy…..hahahaha….that's a good one Levine. Real funny. Ty's been dating Monroe for 4 months now."

Holly placed her hands on her hips and huffed. "That doesn't matter. Madam Malinda's recipe is fool proof."

"Fool proof! Really." Carlos chuckled and looked back into the pot. "So what? You have to get Ty to drink that or something? What's in it anyway? There's no way Ty's gonna drink that."

"He doesn't have to drink it, silly. It would probably kill him with the nail polish and croton oil." Holly was astonished at Carlos' ignorance when it came to potions. "I just have to get a few drops on him and on myself and it should work."

Carlos shook his head. Ty was right. She's insane.

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Holly waited impatiently for Ty and his partner of the day to exit the station house. Finally unwilling to wait any longer, she approached the steps, carefully balancing the small bowl of her magic brew in her hands. Watching her steps in an effort to protect the precious mixture, she was unprepared when the doors of the station house flew open and several police men rushed out. Unable to move in time she collided with someone, spilling her potion. She looked up in horror at a very angry Maurice Boscorelli.

"What the…" Bosco stopped in mid sentence, looking at the slimy green substance on his shirt and hands. Smelling the horrid smell, he nearly gagged. "LEVINE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT IS THIS CRAP?"

Levine swallowed dryly, looking back down at the now empty bowl in her hands, noticing a small amount of the contents on her own hands. "Ummm….nothing….it's nothing. Sorry. Gotta go." With that she turned and ran back towards the station house to wash her hands, hoping against hope that Madam Malinda's potion would fail.

"Moron." Bosco grumbled. Turning back to the precinct, he met Ty at the doors.

Ty looked at him curiously, then let out a laugh. "What happened, Bosco? You fall in a mud hole or something? Or is some kid throwing rotten eggs?" Ty asked with a frown when he smelled the terrible smell.

"That idiot, Levine! I collided with her on the steps and she spilled this….this….whatever this is all over me. I'm gonna have to change my uniform. This will probably never come clean."

Ty began to chuckle, knowing how Bosco and Levine despised each other.

"You think this is funny, Ty? Huh? Maybe you want some on your uniform." Bosco grumbled, reaching out towards Ty with his nasty green hands.

"Oh no… uh uh….I'll stop, Bos. Come on man. I'm sorry. I won't laugh anymore."

"Good." Bosco huffed and turned toward the locker room.