AN: This was written for the himitsu santa LJ community for prpl pen.
The space that was cleared out in the center of the dorm room was small, but there was still enough room for Akira to run through some simpler kata. She liked to go through them before she ate, giving herself time to wind down and clear her mind - and she liked to keep her muscles toned and her mind sharp. The confined space forced her to be more controlled and alert.
It had been over half a year since all the HiMEs had lost their powers, and although she wouldn't ever admit it to anyone Akira still felt naked and defenseless without her element (though she was far from either of those things). She constantly berated herself for relying way too heavily on being able to summon her element at a whim, and now found it bothersome to conceal weapons on her person. She had put herself on a strict training schedule until she felt comfortable enough with her skills that she would no longer miss her former power.
She and Takumi returned to Fuuka Academy after Takumi's recovery and took up residence in their old dormitory. None of the other HiMEs had brought up the subject of her gender (Mai had even winked suggestively and told Akira to take good care of her little brother, causing Akira to flush and stammer), and so she had resumed attendance as a male, just as before.
It wasn't just that she hated skirts (though she did indeed despise them with a passion: they inhibited her mobility, especially taking modesty into account), and it definitely wasn't that she preferred being a boy. On the contrary, she was actually jealous of other girls who could be so carefree and flirt with boys and admit their feelings. She wasn't eloquent or pretty - well, she was pretty as a boy, but as a girl she was lacking. She was blunt, and strong - a solitary creature. She was a ninja, and was raised as such. Finding out that she could even HAVE romantic feelings for another was a shock to her, and she wished she could have a normal relationship with Takumi like any other girl would. She wasn't positive that if she had tried to return to school as a female that she'd be outgoing enough to pursue such a relationship.
No, the fact was, she just didn't want to be known as "that cross-dressing girl" and have to find excuses for her past behavior constantly, especially when most of it needed to be kept a secret. There were enough whisperings already about she and Takumi and people still thought they were both boys. What would happen when they found out the truth? She wouldn't be able to be close to Takumi anymore (the revelation that she DID in fact want to be close to him caused her to flush again) and people would get the wrong idea about their relationship. Would they even want to talk to a weird pervert girl like her? Would they understand her deep desire to stand by and protect the man she loved, regardless of the consequences? No, she didn't think they would. Before she met Takumi, she was bound by duty and honor. Using her skills to protect a single person and making that decision on her own - that was new to her. Why should anyone but a HiME understand?
Still, that day was fast approaching. She was already having to adjust her movements now that her body was maturing. Soon, she would not be able to hide her figure by binding her chest. She would have to admit her gender before anyone else found out by accident, like Takumi had. That sort of misunderstanding was something she definitely wanted to avoid. The thought of accidental discovery plagued her daily, causing her to turn to her kata as a means of stress relief.
"Akira-kun!" Takumi called from the kitchen as Akira slid into the final position of her kata. That was one of the things she liked about him - he still called her Akira-kun, even after he found out about her gender. He had never once slipped - he was completely comfortable with who she was. Before she had been defeated - before she lost him, that time, she had all but confessed her love for him, and still he treated her normally, just as before, never pushing for more from her. She didn't know if he loved her, but he hadn't made her leave nor had he made any mention of being displeased with her company or her personality. It didn't matter if he loved her as long as he let her stay, she had decided a while back. As long as she was allowed to continue to protect him, she would be happy.
Takumi had poked his head out from around the corner and was looking at her expectantly. Apparently, he had just asked her a question and she had been standing there frozen in her last kata, completely spaced out. She hastily dropped her arms and tried to look natural. "Hai?"
He grinned fondly at her, used to seeing her lost in thought by now. He was actually glad that it happened, because he felt it was important for people to be in touch with their emotions. Of course, he didn't really want her to CHANGE, he just wanted her to be comfortable and happy. That wasn't too much to ask, right?
"I asked if you could set the table back up?" he repeated, knowing she hadn't heard him the first time. "Dinner's almost ready."
"Oh...uh...yeah," she stammered, hurrying to perform the task as Takumi ducked back into the kitchen. He smoothed the front of his apron down before going back to mashing the potatoes. He had finally given in and gotten a blue one due to Akira's insistence that pink wasn't a "manly" color, and she had complained much less about his cooking after he had done so. He'd wanted one that matched his oven-mitts anyway - the color clash bothered him, but it'd been on sale when Mai was shopping and he'd been grateful to have one at all.
Sometimes he wondered if he embarrassed her. He knew he was sort of pretty and mild-mannered, and he enjoyed things like cooking and mending clothing and tending to plants. Men weren't supposed to like doing what amounted to chores. Men were supposed to like what Akira liked. At least, he thought so. The only guy he'd ever really hung around with was Akira, and Akira had turned out to not be a man after all.
After the initial shock of seeing Akira's bound chest, he had been relieved to find out that she was a girl. He wasn't sure when the easy companionship he'd found with his stubborn roommate had turned into something more for him, but he heard what the girls whispered about when they thought he wasn't listening. He'd wondered for a bit if he really was gay, but he wasn't really attracted to other men - admittedly, though, he also wasn't attracted to girls.
Then came the revelation, and though he now knew Akira was female, it hadn't changed his feelings at all. He liked Akira for Akira - her gender didn't matter to him. If she had actually been a boy, it would have been a lot more difficult to have an easy relationship with her, but he would have cared for Akira nonetheless. He supposed that would have indeed made him gay, despite his lack of attraction to anyone else in general.
Now that he thought about it, he supposed that the fact that she was female had made him even more fond of her - she was brave and daring and strong. She could go undercover and play her role perfectly, and protect the school along with the task of keeping her identity a secret. Takumi had always been weak, and he admired Akira for her strengths.
With the potatoes done, he turned to stir the vegetables still cooking on the stove. He liked to try different kinds of meals every once in a while, and Akira took it in stride, bluntly telling him what was good and what needed some work. That was another thing he liked about her. She was brutally honest with him, and always was, even before her gender was revealed.
When he had found out that Mai was hiding her true feelings from him as she helped him - that she was hiding her problems, he was crushed. He couldn't understand why Mai would allow herself to be burdened with his issues and not share her own. He couldn't bear to see Mai that way, and he was on the cusp of giving up when Akira scolded him. He had accidentally found another girl who wanted to take care of him, but this one showed him her true self, even though she was supposed to kill him. He saw her pain and her joy, and she freely shared it with him.
He supposed he couldn't blame Mai for who she was. After all, he did the same thing - hiding how his lack of self-worth from his sister had come naturally to him. He wanted to be more like Akira and just say what he wanted to say, but he couldn't, not that easily. He smiled and pulled the roast out of the oven. He just couldn't be like other guys in that way, but Akira didn't care. She always knew what he was trying to get at anyway.
"Oi! Takumi!" called Akira from the other room as he pulled the roast from the oven. "Do you need any help?"
Takumi had already begun placing the meal on a large, circular tray so he could transport it all at once. "Ah, no, it's okay! Just sit there and I'll bring it out to you!" It wasn't as difficult for him to lift things anymore, now that Akira was helping him. He emerged from the kitchen with a smug smile on his face and set the tray on the table, grinning wider at her flinch. It had been a long time since he had tripped and spilled food all over Akira, but the incident was still firm in her mind.
"What are you so happy about?" she asked, reaching for the mashed potatoes.
"Mmm...nothing, Akira-kun." It was a lie, though, and she probably knew it, but did not press him. He was happy she was here with him - that they had this easy companionship. It wouldn't be long before she had to move to the female dormitory, and he wanted to make the most of his time with her. After all, once the school knew her true gender, everything would change between them. That was the feeling he got, anyway, and it scared him, but it was also sort of exciting.
"Ah!" Akira exclaimed, looking at a bit of roast beef that she had just taken a bite from.
"Is it bad?"
"It's DELICIOUS!" she replied, throwing him a dazzling smile that made his heart flutter. "I'm really going to miss your cooking, Takumi." She said it lightly, but he knew that the subject saddened her as it did him.
"Don't worry, Akira-kun," he said, staring at her seriously. "I'll always cook for you."
She looked up from her meal and met his eyes, a tinge of red staining her cheeks. He knew his own face was red as well. "Really?"
He smiled softly at her. "I promise."
"You...you had better! Or else!" Akira said, trying to sound indignant as she quickly looked away and started stuffing food in her mouth again. He didn't miss her deepening blush, though. Still smiling, he finally took a bite of his own meal. Yes, things would be different between them when she moved out, but it would be a GOOD different. He was sure of it.