Cry of the Soul

By: Moments of Insanity

Date : Sometime in 2002

Summery: A little pointless Ami fic.

Author's note:

1) This story has nothing to do with Falling In, and if you haven't read that, please do (yeah, I know that is advertisement, so? shrug)

2) Don't let the title scare you, it's nothing that serious. Heck, at least it is better than untitled. :P

3) BEWARE! A really pointless story line infront, and also really bad writing. (I got excuses. I wrote this in 4 hours and was under the evil influence of a Big Mac value meal.)

4) And oh yeah, thanks again to Ice and Cerulean. sniff sniff they're soo nice and go read their stuff (General destiny, path of thorns, legend of ten) now! Er..no, not now, after my fanfic. And if you like this fic, say thanks to Cerulean, because if she hadn't been babbling about plushies, it wouldn't lead to a fanart (which will be posted somewhere, I hope) and definitely wouldn't lead to this silly fic.

Disclaimer: Nope, Sailor Moon wasn't, wouldn't, and will not be mine.

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'Sigh. And now I have an extra essay to write,' moaned Makoto, as she shuffled behind me dejectedly, sometimes stopped to kick the fallen leaves on the ground. 'It's not fair.'

I smiled, lifted my face to feel the warmth of the winter sun and the crisp freshness of the air before I teasingly asked, 'I thought that's Usagi-chan's line?' I waited for a few seconds for her retort, and silence greeted me. Curious, I turned back and saw her looking through a window of a newly-opened stored. I walked back and looked at what had caught her eye.

It was definitely a store for housewives. Cook books, DIY books, and guides to knitting and sewing displayed on the shelves. Buttons and lace in the baskets, and many other trinkets and curios decorated the store. The bell chimed as Makoto pushed open the door, stars shining in her eyes.

I sighed. Pulling Makoto out of this store might have proved to be a difficult task, and at the moment, I could imagine Rei's incensed face at our tardiness.

I followed her, and immediately the sweet smell of dry flowers overwhelmed my senses, calming my nerves. The music from the music box soothed my worries, lifting an unknown burden off my shoulder. I spied Makoto chatting with the lady at the cashier, 'probably the shopkeeper' I deduced.

With nothing to do while I waited for Makoto, I let my eyes wander. And as always, they searched for objects that bear resemblance to books. I looked up at the books that lined up on the shelves. 'Knitting for beginners', 'Home crafts', 'Step-by step to Gift wrapping', 'Knitting patterns', '50 Obento suggestions'. I skimmed the titles, only to stop briefly at the '50 Obento suggestions' wondering if I should buy this for an alternative to my sandwich lunch. Uninterested, I shifted my view to a lower shelf that was filled with curios: candle holder, incense holders, rings, ocarinas, glass figures, timers, and jewelry. A particular broach caught my eyes. It might be due to the light reflected off its surface or the designed. But the piece of ocean blue crystal that was embedded in the center drew my eyes like a moth to the flame.

Immediately a vision overwhelmed me. A person with wheat-colored hair, expressive olive green eyes staring intently out of the messy bang.

A mocking smile

A smirk.

A genuine smile.

A soft blush.

Love and Sorrow.

Anger and Hate.

Sorrow and Regret

As fleeting as a falling star, the vision left me dazed with unexplainable warmth. And, surprisingly, love, which was soon replaced by emptiness and longing.

'Ami-chan?' Hands grabbed my shoulders and shook me.

'Nan-nani?' I stuttered. My brain was slowly working its way out of the fog. My eyes focused on the hands on my shoulder that led to the familiar face of Makoto. 'Are you alright?' She asked with a worry frown.

'Daijoubu.' I quickly answered, while staring with morbid fascination at the broach that had found its way into my hand.

She nodded and stepped back. She cocked her head to the side and said, 'I never saw you in a daze before. If you have any problems just call on me. After all, that's what friends are for.'

'Thank you,' Reluctantly and with a small degree of relieve, I put the broach back onto the shelf.

'No problem,' She smiled at me, ' Ya know, if we don't run now, we'll be at the wrong end of Rei's fire mandala.' I quickly looked at my watch, amazed to find how time flies without me noticing.

'And guess what, I'll be glad to put all the blame on you, Ami-chan.' She teased as I continued to gape like an idiot at my watch. ' It's not every day that we get to tease you.' I groaned as I grabbed Makoto's hand and ran at a speed that could challenge Usagi's morning sprint.

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After the meeting I went to the library.

As a daily routine, I returned the books I borrowed a week ago, and allowed my feet to carry me to the science section of the library. I took the books I needed off the shelves and allowed my feet to carry me to the librarian. However this time, it decided to make an extra stop; I found myself in a section with cook books and home crafts.

And more importantly I found a book called 'DIY: toys', with a very big, cuddly teddy bear on the cover, in my hand. I shrugged, flipping through the pages with vague interest, snapped it shut and went to the librarian with that book resting on top of my science books.

I couldn't have known that I would develop a passion for stuff toys. It happened after the vision and after I had read the DIY book. The urge to make something was overwhelming. And this urge found its way into my tight timetable.

Even though I didn't have a design or a picture to follow, there was a hazy picture that was stuck on to my mind which refused to be pinned down and examined closely and unconsciously I follow the picture.

I worked on it for days. After my studying, my hand would naturally find its way to the basket that contained the threads and the pieces of clothes. I would work late at night from one o'clock to three o'clock. I would bend over the piece of cloth with nothing but the table lamp and the moon hanging high in the night sky as my companion. Snipping the cloth, pinning it, sewing them together. These repetitive action brought peace to my mind, a peace that I never knew exist. I would lose track of time, as I immersed myself into the work, and when the clock chimed softly I would regretfully place the pieces of cloths into the basket and wait for the next evening.

Such working habits would, of course, lead to consequences.

Dark circles under my eyes were very clear, as it set against my pale skin. My concentration in class also decreased, though it did not really matter much as I was ahead of the class, although that gave my teacher a scare. Bandages were the must-be decorations on my fingers. And a loss of appetite.

These little changes did not go unobserved by my friends.

It came to a day that Usagi, Makoto and Minako forced me to eat my own lunch plus an obento prepared by Makoto.

'Ya're not eating' She said in a flat tone.

'Ne?'

'That's an insult to food and to my cooking,' Makoto continued.

'Plus you've been dozing off in class,' piped in Minako.

'Plus you've been injuring yourself,' added Usagi, dramatically pointed at my

bandaged hand.

'What is happening?' they asked, more yelled, in unison.

'Ne?' I repeated myself. I was utterly confused.

'You've been asking about how to make a plushie,' Makoto continued.

'You've been buying materials,' Minako declared.

Silence.

Makoto and Minako swung their heads to Usagi's direction. 'Well?' Makoto prompted.

'eto I forgot the next line' Usagi whimpered. I could feel a sweat drop forming.

Minako and Makoto collectively sighed. ' Anyway the point is, have you been seeing a guy' Minako continued.

Now where did that come from? I quickly shook my head. A lesson I had learned was 'never say the word Guy before these two.

'Really?' Both purred as they edged toward me, and the predator look on their face caused a shiver running down my spine.

'It's true! It's true.' I held my hand up, in a surrendering position. 'What gave you this thought?' I asked.

'Cause you're spending more time on something other than studying,' they both said in unison.

I gave them a hurt look, 'I don't study that much.'

They continued, oblivious to my answer, ' and of course, the only thing that can distract our Ami-chan from her books, is love.'

'How romantic,' gushed Usagi with a dreamily look on her face. I sighed as I resisted the urge to groan and to sink my head into my hands.

'Don't think about it, Usagi,' Minako said. 'Mamoru deserves a plushie that at least has a definable shape.'

'You're soo mean,' Usagi whined. ' And how did you know that I want to make a plushie for Mamo-chan?'

Minako rolled her eyes, 'Not a hard guess.'

'Well?' Makoto asked, who was ignoring the bickering two.

'Fine.' I gave up, this immediately got the attentions of my bickering friends. 'I've been making, or trying to make a something, for my own need.'

The skeptical looks were my answer, before Usagi asked 'Can we see it after you finish? What are you making?'

Silence.

In truth, I didn't know what I'm making. Every night, it was my hand that was subconsciously doing all the sewing and the cutting. Every time I try to concentrate, I'm stuck into a dead end, therefore I soon learned to leave that to my subconscious, as I knew that is the way to finish the doll. I never knew what it would look like. And for the first time, I felt lost.

'I don't know.' I murmured.

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It was finally finished. I held the doll up, against the round moon outside my room, observing it, savoring the feeling of accomplishment. I sighed, a happy sigh, and laid back onto my bed. I pulled it to me, holding close to me, pressing, molding it against the contours of my body, and amazingly, it lessened the longings and the emptiness in my heart since that vision in the store.

Suddenly I felt something wet slipping down my chin. And my vision quickly became a watery world. I gasped in surprise of the overwhelming emotion that suddenly seized me. Tears were falling without a reason, or rather falling for an unknown reason. I choked. The burning feeling of the throat and painful pressure on my chest, a manifestation of a reason I did not understand. I breathed hoarsely, in and out, in shuddering breaths. I quickly rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand, and felt the wetness transferring from my face to the back of my hand. I looked in amazement at the glistering smear on my hand. I never knew a sadness like what I was feeling. I rolled to my side and curled into a fetus position, still holding the doll closely next to me, and willed a dam to block those overwhelming emotions. Finally I fell into a dreamless sleep.

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I took the doll to school the next day, as I promised to Usagi. The class flocked around, to look at the reason that caused the sudden deterioration in academic performance. People praised me. Some were amazed at the quality of the doll, they said they don't believe that it's my first trial. Some joked about opening a business. But the most distinctive comment I had heard is Minako's.

' Doesn't it look like Zoisite?'

Owari.

I know it doesn't really make any sense, blame the Coke and the big Mac. Oh, and by

the way, the blue crystal is Zoisite (thanks to Aurora Eos Rose for the

information ..read her stuffs now!) if you haven't notice. ; And finally, what

do you think? Please review. mail me