We'll do it all
Everything
On our own.

I noticed it one day. A simple gesture, a simple word, sent me spinning, set my world upside down. I'm not sure why. It was so simple. I had just helped her with something, something small. Not even sure what it was, really. But as I sat down to finish my own project, she walked by, skimmed my back with those delicate, pale fingers of hers, and said in a loving tone, "You are the best, Briar."

Quite innocent, really. She'd have said it to Daja, or Tris, or anyone else for that matter, if they'd been the ones to help her. But for some reason, when she said it, when her beautiful blue eyes met mine, it drove up a wall, made me replay that moment over and over in my head. In my dreams. In my daydreams. I was hooked.

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

I think I could have lived on the looks she gave me alone. Whether from admiration, exasperation, or pure joy. Or anger. Whatever the feeling, when she looked at me, I felt like I would melt. It was strange, annoying, and pleasant, to be around her. Strange, because I'd never felt this way. Annoying, because I'm always around her. I live with her, for god's sake. Evvy knows, she can see it. And she teases me about it. She tells Sandry's student, Pasco. The two are getting a bit close, to be delicate. I'm afraid he'll tell Sandry, and she'll reject him. But so pleasant, because it gives me a butterfly feeling in my stomach, a feeling that lasts for hours. I feel happy, giddy. Like a little kid.

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

One night she had a bad dream, and no one but me was home. Lark and Rosethorn had gone to a midnight mass. Tris had gone into the city with Niko, to visit a friend of Niko's that had business with the Duke Vedris. Daja had stayed in Frostpine's forge for some project. And so, she turned to me.

It was about the unmagic. This time, I'd drowned in it. She needed assurance that I was there, that I was alive. So she pulled me close, and we just lay there in bed, with her in my arms and her head on my bare chest. I could feel her tremble in my arms, could feel the fright. Or maybe the nervousness. I didn't know. I just gradually forgot all my worries, the world in fact. I just knew one thing, and it's name was Sandry.

I don't quite know
How to say

How I feel

I tried to tell her. Daja knew, and Tris slowly came to realize. They urged me to tell her, urged me to do something romantic. They assured me she felt the same, but that she hadn't told them directly. I couldn't take that. I didn't want to ask if there was a chance of rejection. I didn't know how. The only words I could think of…

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

She already knew I loved her. So if I told her, she'd just take it as a sibling thing. I needed other words. I love you was just to…general. "I love this, I love that," was something you heard a girl say about jewelry. I needed it to be special. I was scared, so scared. I didn't want to loose her, and I might if I kept just standing around and watch her be courted by other nobles. Not all of them could be jerks. What if she fell for one that wasn't?

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I lay in bed one night thinking about it. My door was open. Sandry came in from a project she'd been working at in the Air Temple. She stopped at my doorway, leaned in, and just looked at me. I looked back at her. We stared at each other for a long time, said nothing mentally or out loud. I was surprised she didn't feel my turmoil, didn't sense me fighting to jump up and kiss her, to press her against the wall, shut the door, and kiss her until she couldn't think. But eventually, she just smiled that smile that made my heart flutter and my stomach disappear. And walked away.

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

I took to my garden with a zeal that impressed even Rosethorn. My plants made me feel better, made me forget. But eventually, even that didn't help. It really didn't help when Sandry came and offered to help me. I wanted to say no. I wanted to say yes. I eventually chose yes. And my garden grew. My garden flourished.

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads.

As we gardened, we'd talk. Most of the time. But there'd be times when we were silent. I didn't know what she was thinking. I wouldn't let her know what I was thinking. We sat there, sometimes even just completely stopped gardening. But slowly, we'd pick back up our tools, and continue, as though it never happened. It scared me, the chances that I had. That I never took.

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

I needed her to stay here, to help me. I didn't know enough about myself. She helped me find it. She talked to me when I had problems. She'd help me sort them out, help me discover something about myself I never knew. Something that I lacked that I needed. During those late night conversations, I'd realize something. Everything I lacked, she had. And whenever she cared to talk of her own problems, whatever she lacked…I had. A perfect combination. It had a certain grace to it, a certain elegance.

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

We'd lay on the roof and stare at the sky, whether it be night or day. Whether Daja and Tris were with us, or weren't. We'd forget everything, sometimes even each other. But then, I would turn my head, and see her. And that was all I would see. Sometimes, she'd look back at me, and those were my highest moments. We'd stare at each other for so long. And then one day, I saw something. Something wonderful. Something beautiful.

Something frightening.

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see.

As I stared into her beautiful blue eyes that seemed to be a reflection of the heavens themselves, I saw something. I saw myself. Literally, a reflection. And I saw memories flicker into her face. Everything we've ever done together, all the laughter, all the fun. All the love. And all that we could have. I needed reach out, to take it. And the damned thing was, I was too scared. Too afraid of rejection.

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all.

I don't know where we were going to go if I did take it. Would we end up with our hearts shattered to hell? Or would we be stronger, more close, more united. But I knew, I knew our friendship would survive whatever we went through. Knew that all those memories wouldn't be forgotten, wouldn't change. They'd always have a strong value. And in that sense, I was safe. So I reached out. Reached out for what I so desperately wanted, so desperately needed. And I took it. And I received it. And I loved it.

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

One night, she lay in my arms. She was asleep, her breathing soft. I could feel her heart beat against my chest. My bare chest. And her bare chest. She lay there, I lay there. After a love so beautiful, so great, I never grew bored. It never ceased to amaze me. It was always there, and always would be. I smiled and then turned to look at her. Her blue eyes stared back at me. And I forgot, forgot all over again, anything in the world that wasn't in the eyes of Sandrilene, my lovely Sandrilene. And the most beautiful thing I saw in those eyes were the memories.

The memories made of us.