Title: Not Yet Wed

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Sorry, don't own Spamalot.

Pairing: It's slash and a surprise.kinda :D

Summary: Robin is being emo during the Wedding Party.

Warning: Um... A quick reference to the Movie? Shrugs Unbetaed

Note: I put this under Musicals instead of Monty Python due to the fact that it is a musical and none of the members of Monty Python are actually in it beyond recordings. Just in case anyone complains.


One would think that after three hours, a wedding party would start to simmer down somewhat. Not the case in Camelot, it seemed to be. The wedding party of King Arthur and 'Guinevere ' as well as Lancelot and Prince Herbert was still going strong. And with every minute that passed, Sir Robin's mood lessened.

He had found his grail and no amount of persuasion would ever get him to let go of it... so why wasn't he happy?

"What ever are you doing out here, sire?"

Robin yelped and swirled around to see his minstrels had followed him out of the main ballroom, all wearing equal expressions of worry on their faces. It was his lead minstrel, Alice, that had spoken.

"Nothing, Lads," Robin smiled in the hope that they would believe it. "Just getting away from the noise for a while."

The Minstrels didn't believe it. They gathered around him, blocking his way.

"You don't have to lie to us, Sire." Alice insisted. "We know you to well to fall for it."

"Oh..." Robin looked at their expectant faces and signed. "Fine, fine. I'm... having second thoughts... well, not second thoughts - I'd never give up Theater! - but... doubts, I suppose you'd call it."

"Doubts, Sire?" The only female Minstrel, Frank, repeated. "Of what?"

"It sounds foolish and all. Especially since I've found my grail but... I want to get married." Robin didn't pout when he said this. Really, he didn't!

"Oh, that's no problem, Sire!" Alice smiled, stepping forward.

"It isn't?" Robin repeated, baffled.

"Oh, no, sire! All you need to do is get married!"

"It's not that simple, Alice." Robin sighed.

"Of course it is!" Alice insisted. "All we have to do is narrow down your field of search and find someone you like. We'll help you!"

"Would you really?" Robin smiled, ecstatic.

"Of course!" The minstrel's all nodded.

"Now, to get started." Alice smiled. "Your partner would have to be male..."

"Male? Why?"

"Well, Sire, it's good for publicity. Everyone loves gays."

"That's true..."

"And... well, to be blunt, no one really believes you're straight anyway. Not with that outfit."

Robin looked down at his white coat and tails.

"I suppose I see your point..." He admitted reluctantly.

"Very good, Sire. And he'll have to already know you're a coward. Would defeat the point if he dumps you when he finds out." Alice stated reasonably.

"Yes." Robin nodded.

"And he'll have to be able to sing. Duets are always much more fun than solos, after all." Alice continued. "Maybe someone who plays in a band or something similar..."

Robin nodded again, mumbling his agreement.

Alice stared at Robin for a few seconds before continuing.

"He'll have to look good in green, of course."

"Green?"

"Why yes! You have to match!"

"Oh, yes. Right." Robin nodded again. Alice started at Robin again, eyes narrowing slightly.

"Have to be a brunette."

"Brunette? Why?"

"Goes better with your own coloring, Sire."

Robin looked doubtful but nodded at his minstrel's stern expression.

"Have to be around your own height as well. To avoid any awkwardness."

"Sounds good." Robin nodded, oblivious to Alice's now annoyed expression.

"Plays the Tambourine..."

Robin looked up, puzzled by this last addition to the list. Alice sighed loudly.

"Standing just to your left?"

Robin looked over toward Frank, missing Alice's scowl as he did.

"Frank? But she's not male."

"Wrong left, Sire." She smiled, turning Robin around to face a rather annoyed Alice.

Robin stared at his lead minstrel for a few moments, his expression becoming more and more awed.

"...Alice?"

Said Minstrel finally smiled and leapt into a still shocked Robin's arms.

"Thought you would never get it, Sire."

Robin blinked down at Alice, still mystified.

"This... is so sudden. I really had no idea."

"You can be rather thick, Sire." Frank said from off to the side before quickly adding. "No offense, of course."

"So... you love me? Enough of marry me?" Robin asked, his senses slowly returning.

"I would hope so." Alice pouted, still in Robin's arms. "Especially after your Knight friends tried to eat us last winter. It's either love or I'm insane."

Robin stared a few moments longer before smiling.

"Very well... Alice... will you marry me?"

"I'm already in your arms, you twat." Alice teased, kicking his feet slightly to emphasis this.

Robin smiled and set Alice down, still holding him close. He placed a hand on the back of Alice's neck and pulled the other into a rough, passionate kiss. Robin wrapped an arm around Alice's waist and with a twist of his body, dipped Alice down. The other minstrels to squeal happily in a very girlish way and clapped. When the kissing duo finally straightened and broke the kiss, Alice giggled and slipped out of Robin's arms. He grabbed his now fiance's hand and pulled him back toward the still crowded ballroom.

"Everyone! Everyone!" Robin yelled over the noise. Once everyone's eyes were on him and Alice, he continued. "I have a very important announcement to make..."

"I found my male!" Alice interrupted, holding up their joined hands.

Ha! Cheesy ending:D