The Dying of the Light
Part 1: Remus
A/N: Everything belongs to J.K. Rowling, who has given us an amazing place to play in, for which she has my eternal thanks.
An explanation, to cut down on the number of reviews that consist of question marks. Yes, Remus Lupin is dead. I guess you could say his life is flashing before his eyes. The voice he talks to is not god or an angel, it is simply a voice.
This is the last time I am going to revise this story, I promise!
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the pain was gone, it felt good
but if the pain is gone that means
yes, you are dead
who said that? there was nobody there
he was in a colorless room with no walls, no ceiling, no floor
i'm over here
he looked, there was nothing there
i'm here
where? he shouted
everywhere, silly
i don't understand
you're dead
is this heaven?
not yet, it's a kind of waystation
waystation? why do i need a waystation?
to look over your life
why do i need to do that?
you'll see
he shook his head, a very strange dream, he muttered to himself
no dream, the voice whispered, look, remus lupin
he looked, there was no avoiding it
A young boy ran across a field, racing a yellow winged butterfly. The sun was disappearing behind the trees, he could faintly hear his mother calling him to come in for dinner, but he was too intent on a snake slithering through the grass to answer. He was following the little creature deeper into the forest, only faintly aware of the moonlight guiding his way. When he walked into a tree, thumping his head painfully on a branch, he finally returned to his surroundings, and realized with a quiver in his stomach that he did not recognize the overgrown path he had followed. The forest that had always welcomed the strange child, now seemed strange and a little forbidding.
please, remus lupin whispered, i don't want to see this
you have to see it, the voice whispered, implacable and
not a little sad
The little boy stood frozen to the path, rubbing absently at his head while he stared around at the unfamiliar clearing. He didn't know where he was, it was dark and he wanted his mother. The moonlight was fitful presence, revealing and then concealing the clearing and path. The little boy was just girding his courage to start back down the dark path, when he heard a sudden noise. It was soft, muffled footsteps. Something large was hurtling towards him out of the darkness. He turned to stare into the trees, curious and a little scared, but any company was welcome at this moment. The moonlight revealed a pair of glittering eyes, staring at him hungrily. The boy opened his mouth to scream....
remus wrenched his eyes away, squeezing them shut, covering his aching head with his hands, the long scar on his chest burned with cold fire
even with his eyes screwed shut, he could not block out the memories
the long days spent in bed, crowing with delirium, the worried looks, the terrified stares, the dark gazes
the long nights spent locked in the basement, the pain brought about by his transformations, the bewildered pain of a little boy being punished for getting lost in the forest
you will watch remus lupin, the voice commanded
he opened his eyes again, staring at the images as they flickered around him
he brightened when he realized where the images were going
The same boy, now older, sat at the breakfast table. He was alone, as he often was, picking at his burned toast and runny eggs. He wasn't a very good cook. An owl tapped the kitchen window, drawing his attention, if not his hopes; he rarely got mail, and though this was his 11th birthday, he was not expecting anything. His father shouted at him from the living room to let the owl in and be quick about it. The tawny owl settled on shoulder, pecking affectionately at his rumpled hair. Animals liked him; humans did not, it was a simple fact, that. The boy carried the bird to the stand in the corner, made sure there was fresh water and food and walked into the living room, absently flicking through the mail in his hands. He was about to give it to his father when he spotted his name on a thick envelope.
remus lupin grinned as he remembered reading the ivory vellum that had welcomed him to hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry, the relief as he read the note from albus dumbledore saying that arrangements would be made to accommodate his curse, the mingled dread and hope as he thought about school and the people he would meet
The boy stood staring at the solid wall between platforms 9 and 10. His mother had told him how to get through it. His father suddenly gripped his arm, squeezing it painfully in his large hands. "You remember," the older man hissed," you don't let anyone find out what you are." The boy nodded distantly, then walked through the wall without looking back.
He found an empty compartment near the end of the scarlet train, pushed and shoved his trunk aboard, then sat and watched as other students bid last farewells to their families. The door slid open and a young girl, his age, with red hair and green eyes came in. She smiled shyly at him and gestured nervously at the empty seat across from him.
lily, remus lupin murmured, oh, lily, it's been a long time, my friend
you will see her soon, the voice promised gently, you will
see them all soon
The girl grinned at him as the train started moving; the boy felt his lips curve into an answering smile, excitement building deep inside.
"I'm Lily," the girl said, "Lily Evans."
"Remus Lupin."
"I didn't know I was a witch until I received the letter. Isn't this amazing?"
It was pure joy shining out of her emerald eyes. "Yes," Remus found himself saying, "absolutely amazing."
it was, remus lupin said softly, staring at the image in front of him, two children embarking on an adventure to unknown places, sure they will not fall, trusting the other to catch them if they stumble
The door to the car slid open and two boys walked in, talking and laughing. They grinned broadly when they spotted Remus and Lily. They were all the same age; Remus and Lily found themselves responding to the warm high spirits of the boys.
"You two have the right idea," quipped the taller boy, he had black hair and silvery gray eyes. "Hiding back here, out of the way of pranks."
"Yeah," his friend agreed, "some fifth years just set off these bombs in the middle of the train. They dye your hair weird colors,"
"Polka dots,"
"Ringlets,"
"Braids,"
"It was so cool. James Potter," he said, his brown eyes sparkling as he laughed. His hair looked like a bird nest.
"Sirius Black," the silvery eyed one said.
"Lily Evans. Remus Lupin."
"Are both of you first years?"
They nodded.
"Do you know what house you want to be in?"
Lily looked confused. "Houses? I don't understand."
"Oh, are you Muggle-born?" James Potter asked curiously. Lily glanced at Remus, who nodded.
we were so young, remus lupin mused, watching as the foursome was Sorted into Gryffindor together
they did everything together, classes, studying, pranks
when james tried out for the quidditch team, they all went to cheer him on, then celebrated all night when he got picked
the only time they weren't together was once a month, when remus slunk away like a whipped cur to transform in the shrieking shack
he had wanted to tell them, wanted to share the agony of his curse, but not willing to risk the only friends he had ever had
but they found out anyway, the voice whispered
yes, remus agreed with a grin, they found out anyway
and what did they do? the voice queried
did they run from you in fear and loathing?
no, remus shook his head, they stood by me, they were my friends
"Remus, we need to talk."
Remus Lupin glanced over his shoulder, guiltily. Lily stood behind him, her arms folded across her chest. James and Sirius stood behind her, looking annoyed and determined.
"Sure," he answered glibly, "what's up?"
"You're lying to us, Remus. You're concealing something from us," Lily accused, narrow-eyed.
Remus swallowed, then glanced warily around the empty common room. The full moon wasn't until the next night, but the familiar restlessness was upon him. He had come down here so he wouldn't disturb his dorm-mates.
" 'Fess up, Remus," Sirius growled. "Tell us what's really going on."
"We know your mother isn't sick, Remus," James added.
"Why do you disappear once a month and then come back looking like something the cat dragged in?" Lily demanded.
Remus was desperate, searching in vain for an excuse that they would believe, that would save his friendship. He couldn't tell them the truth.
"I don't know what you're talking about," he finally said, trying to bluff.
"Don't even try it, Remus, you're not a very good liar," Sirius looked dangerous in the flickering light of the fire.
he was right, the voice whispered, amused, you're not a
very good liar, you're just too honest
remus could feel a familiar heat working its way up his pale skin, but he just grunted in response, staring intently at the scene playing out before him
"You must be mistaken," Remus said again. "I don't disappear. I go home to see my mother, she's very ill."
James stepped closer, opened his mouth to say something, then stared at the pool of moonlight he was standing in. He slowly raised his head to stare open-mouthed at Remus. Remus could see the truth dawning in James' eyes and ran instead of staying to see the horror and disgust that would soon fill his friends sparkling dark eyes.
But he didn't run fast enough. Lily jumped in front of the portrait hole, blocking his way, Sirius grabbed his arm and pushed him into one of the armchairs. James still stood in the moonlight, amazement widening his eyes. Remus stared fixedly at the floor, waiting for the angry words that would surely come.
"You're a werewolf," James said softly, coming to stand in front of him.
remus stared at their faces, seeing the expressions he hadn't seen that day while staring so hard at the floor
lily looked shocked, but not disgusted, sympathy gilding her glowing eyes
sirius looked incredulous, but not angry, in fact after a moment he grinned
james was still staring at him, amazed
none of them attempted to back away from him, none of them tried to curse the dark creature in their midst, in fact from the gleam in sirius' eyes, he was already planning some of the pranks that would make them notorious
"Hey, Remus! C'mere!"
James and Sirius were thundering down the hallway towards him. He glanced at Madame Pomfrey; she smiled and moved to wait for him by the door. James and Sirius slid to a halt in front of him, grinning like madmen and breathing hard from their sprint down the halls. James was carrying a dusty book in his arms.
"We found it!" Sirius exclaimed. James hissed at him to be quiet, then gestured for them to follow him to a little table set against the wall. He set the book on the table and began flipping through the pages, ignoring Remus' repeated queries. He finally stopped on a page and stabbed his finger down on the title. Remus leaned in to read the faded, ancient script:
i couldn't believe it when they first showed me that book, remus lupin said, talking to himself, but also to the unseen voice
the idea that anyone would do something like that for me
why wouldn't they do that for you? the voice asked,
a little querulously, they're your friends
i know, remus lupin groaned, but the animagus transformation is so dangerous
he gave up trying to explain the amazement he still felt at the idea that someone was so willing to do something so dangerous for him
i think you underestimate your friends, remus lupin, and
do them, and yourself, a disservice by thinking so
lowly of yourself
remus lupin ignored the voice, it was getting a little too close to the truth
Remus Lupin dragged into the deserted Common Room as the first rays of dawn crept through the window. He was glad it was Saturday, that meant he could sleep off the worst of the fatigue left from his transformation without having to resort to the Hospital Wing. He walked quietly up the stairs to the dorm where the Fifth year boys slept, padded across the floor to his four poster, stripped his torn, bloody clothes from his body and collapsed into the clean sheets.
He was shaken awake too soon by James Potter. He batted away the hands on his shoulders, then buried his head under his pillow, which was snatched from his grip and used to pummel his bare back. He sat up with a growl, only to catch the pillow full in the face. The abused seams burst, scattering feathers across the room. Sirius leapt into the fight, joined by the other boys in their dorms.
remus lupin laughed as he watched, he had forgotten about those pillow fights
we broke so many pillows, he told the waiting voice, that the house-elves refused to give us anymore until we promised not to destroy any more pillows
what did you do, the voice asked, amused
remus lupin shrugged innocently, we promised, then got lily to put unbreakable charms on the pillows!
The boys cleaned up their mess, then walked down to the Great Hall for lunch. After eating, James and Sirius pulled Remus outside onto the grounds.
"We did it," James said when they were out of earshot of some girls sitting on the front steps.
"It's all ready," Sirius crowed, almost dancing with his excitement.
"We're going to try it out tonight."
Remus stared at them for a moment, fully aware he looked like a fool with his mouth hanging open.
That night the three boys crept out of Gryffindor Tower under James' Invisibility Cloak. James and Sirius had chosen to hide the potion in a concealed classroom they had found last year while trying to escape the caretaker after setting off dungbombs in the Slytherin Common Room.
The cauldron stood on the desk, bubbling happily. A knock at the door caused Remus to almost jump out of his skin, but it was only Peter Pettigrew. James and Sirius had told him earlier how they had decided to include the shy boy. Remus didn't know Peter very well, since he usually squeaked and scurried off whenever Remus even glanced in his direction. Sirius seemed to have a cordial contempt for Pettigrew, but James said he was harmless. Besides, James had added, he has an amazing sense of direction and a positive genius for getting out of trouble. The second was an especially good thing to have, since Sirius and James were so very good at getting them into trouble.
remus lupin growled low in his throat as he stared at the quivering peter pettigrew
James produced three goblets from his backpack, setting them onto the desk with a flourish.
"Ready?" he asked, glancing around. Sirius was excited, but Peter looked ill.
"Peter," James asked quietly, "are you all right? You don't have to do this if you don't want to."
The smaller boy jerked like he had been prodded with a stick. "No," he squeaked, "I want to do this."
"Then let's do it," Sirius said, picking up the goblets one by one and filling them with the clear liquid from the cauldron. He plucked one of his long, black hairs and dropped it into the goblet. It hissed and gurgled then calmed to reveal it had turned a pearly white with hints of gray. James dropped with of his curly hairs into a goblet, watching it turn black with swirls of green. Peter dropped one of his limp hairs in the goblet, flinching as it fizzed loudly. His turned a pale yellow.
James grinned at them, but Remus could see a little anxiety in his eyes. "Since I'm the cook," James joked, "I get to drink first." He raised the goblet to his lips, hesitated, then gulped the potion down in one swallow. He lowered the goblet to the table with a shaking hand, sweat beading his forehead.
"That tastes nasty," he had time to rasp before twisting into a ball as the potion went to work. Remus was alarmed at the obvious pain his friend was in, but Sirius grabbed his arm.
"We read up on this," he said, watching James. "It said the first time was rather uncomfortable. He'll be all right, don't worry, Moony."
On the floor James was lying still, only his ribs moving with his rapid breaths. Suddenly a light seemed to infuse him, coming from somewhere inside. The light was so bright the other three boys had to look away. When they looked back James was gone and in his place was a stag, tossing its arrogant head, pride in its luminous eyes. Sirius whooped and even Peter cheered though he looked slightly unnerved. Remus grinned at his friend.
"Prongs," he said, staring into James' dark eyes, "we'll call you Prongs."
Sirius handed Peter his pale yellow potion, then took up his own, swallowing with a shudder. They both writhed on the floor, then lay still as Remus and Prongs watched worriedly.
Soon enough, Peter had transformed into a rat that ran squeaking between their legs, and Sirius was a huge black dog with pale eyes. Remus snatched Pettigrew from the floor, setting him on the desk so he wouldn't get trampled by Sirius as he gamboled around the room. "Wormtail," Remus said, catching the rodent when it stumbled and almost fell off the desk, "and Padfoot," he yelped, jumping onto the desk to avoid the huge dog as it rushed past.
moony, wormtail, padfoot and prongs, the voice said
whimsically, the marauders
you four have quite a reputation
don't believe everything you hear, remus lupin said gruffly, watching as the marauders explored the castle and grounds, racing through the forest, laughing in the shrieking shack
lily had declined their offer to become an animagi, claiming to have no interest in becoming an animal
with my luck, she had laughed, i will be something like a butterfly, beautiful but useless
"
Remus shot out of bed, barking his shin on the low table as he raced through the kitchen, wearing only pants, clutching his wand. Sirius met him in the yard, grease smeared over his cold face, wand out. James swooped down over them, falling from his broom with a whoop of excitement. He wrapped his arms around his friends, leading them in a little dance in the yard. When it became apparent that James was too excited to speak coherently, and before they became dizzy, Remus tripped James to the ground and Sirius sat on him.
"Prongs, it's good of you to drop by," Remus drawled to the chortling man on the ground.
"Get off me, Padfoot, you weigh a ton," James finally gasped. Sirius slid to the ground by James, leaning against the house.
"So, Prongs, what is so important that you had to come roaring in here, scaring us both out of our wits?" Sirius asked, acid dripping from his words.
"Lily said yes."
remus lupin beamed at the image, remembering clearly the joy that event had engendered, happiness badly needed at that time, a time marred by voldemorts depredations
"You may kiss the bride."
"Now taking bets on date, sex and weight!" Sirius called out, causing the packed little church to roll with laughter.
i won that bet, remus lupin said smugly, harry was born 9 and a half months later, he weight 8 pounds exactly, i even guessed right on his eye and hair color
"Mr. Potter?"
James leapt to his feet, looking anxiously at the smiling nurse. Remus and Sirius stood behind him, just as anxious about their friend.
"Congratulations, Mr. Potter, you have a healthy little boy. Would you like to see him?"
James looked like he had been hit in the head with a board. The nurse seemed to expect it, gently taking him by the arm and leading him from the room.
james was wreck, remus lupin murmured, a total wreck, pacing around the waiting room, worrying himself sick
you and sirius weren't much better, the voice pointed out
tartly, but remus lupin studiously ignored it
"Look, there! The one they're bringing in right now."
Sirius pointed at a tall, wispy nurse, cradling a swaddled baby in her arms. She set the bundle in a crib and Remus grinned as he read HARRY POTTER embroidered neatly on the little blanket.
"Yep, that's him. Isn't he beautiful?"
James had come up behind them; he was staring through the glass at the baby, totally besotted.
"He's a little scrawny, don't you think, Prongs?" Sirius drawled. James ignored him magnificently, turning to talk to Remus.
"Lily wants to see you two jokers."
"How is she?"
"She's doing fine, a little tired but that's to be expected," James explained as he led them down the hallway.
"You suddenly seem to know an awful lot about childbirth, there, Prongs."
"Yeah, weren't you the one pacing just a little while ago in the waiting room?"
James ignored them, pushing open the door to reveal a tired Lily Evans Potter. She beamed when she saw them. "Have you seen him?" she asked immediately. "Isn't he beautiful?"
Sirius grinned at her and answered truthfully, "He's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, Morning Glory."
"Remus," she asked sleepily, beaming at Sirius, "what do you think?"
Remus knelt by her bedside, taking her hand.
"He's amazing, Lily."
She blinked up at him, auburn lashes framing emerald eyes. "What do you see for my baby, Remus?"
He immediately rearranged his face in imitation of a vapid twit they had known in school who claimed to be a Seer.
"My inner eye tells me that you will be blessed with a little boy who will be exactly like his father. Brave, an excellent Quidditch player, with absolutely no regard for danger or rules. His hair will be just as impervious to a comb, looking like the bearer is the special enemy of a tornado."
James protested but the others were laughing to hard to respond.
"The baby will have his mother's eyes, as well as her gentleness, intelligence and kind heart. This will lead him to great lengths to protect his friends, for he is ever loyal to those he loves. He will always do what is right, no matter what. He will make you proud, Lily."
She gripped his hand harder, then reached with her free hand for James. Sirius brushed her hair back from her brow and kissed her gently. She looked at them with her beautiful eyes, then slipped into a gentle sleep. The men tiptoed from the room, careful not to wake her.
i was more right then i knew, remus lupin mused
harry has saved us more times than i care to remember, against odds even sirius wouldn't have taken
he didn't do it alone, the voice said, he couldn't have
done it alone
we helped, remus lupin agreed, but in the end he did it himself
he did it for us because we needed him and he was the only one who could do it
lily and james are very proud of him
we are all proud of him, and grateful, he gave us more than we had any right to expect
remus lupin stared blankly at the next several pictures, aware of where they were leading and dreading it
Remus Lupin walked into work the afternoon after the full moon, shrugging off his exhaustion with long practice. It took him several minutes to realize that everyone was silently staring at him, fear, grief and joy in their eyes. The grief and fear he could understand, but not in combination and directed at him. They knew, and accepted, the fact that he was a werewolf. The joy confused him, what was there joyous in this time of darkness? He caught Hillary's eyes; tears were slowly tracking down her pale cheeks. Roger stood with his arm around her shoulders, tears falling unashamed. The same all around the room; whenever he caught their eyes, they began crying, silent tears trailing down their still faces. No one wanted to be the one to break the news to him.
"Remus."
"Albus!" he cried, turning to the old wizard. "What's going on?" His voice fell silent as he met Dumbledore's eyes. Those light blue orbs that twinkled at some unheard joke were sad and still.
"Professor Dumbledore...?"
"Perhaps we should go into the office, Remus. I have some very bad news."
Lupin allowed himself to be pulled into the office, his mind worrying at the problem of bad news. The only people whose immediate well being he was concerned with were all safe. James, Lily and Harry were protected under the Fidelius Charm; Sirius and Peter were both in hiding behind magical wards and guards.
"Remus, Lord Voldemort is gone."
"What? That's wonderful! How? When? But you said bad news."
"He was defeated this morning, Remus. He went to the house where the Potters were hiding--"
"What? That's impossible! The only way he could know about the house would be if ....Sirius?"
Dumbledore continued as if Lupin had not spoken. His light blue eyes never left Lupin's stunned face.
"He killed James and Lily, but somehow when he tried to kill Harry, his power rebounded back on him and destroyed him."
Remus sank into one of the hard chairs, trying to wrap his flummoxed brain around the sudden, violent changes to his world. Voldemort was gone, James and Lily were dead, Harry had somehow survived.
"Where is Sirius?" His voice was low and cold, even Dumbledore seemed taken aback by the anger in his tone.
"On his way to Azkaban. Peter Pettigrew confronted him and was killed for his effort. Several muggles were also killed."
"And Harry?"
"Gone to live with his mother's relatives."
Remus stood slowly, pulling himself erect, standing only through sheer willpower. "Thank you for telling me, Headmaster."
remus lupin watched himself walk away, not seeing the attempts to touch him, comfort him
he watched himself go to the house in godric's hollow, the rubble that was all that was left of the house, it seemed a fitting image for what his life had abruptly became
more than just james and lily died that day, he told the waiting voice
what do you mean?
moony died that day too, he was as dead as the rest until some 12 years later
i guess in a way you have died twice
no, three times I have died
i don't understand
the first time was when the werewolf bit me, the boy I was and the boy I could have been died then
then when james and lily died and i believed sirius to be the betrayer
and now this time, but this time I truly have died
is being dead so bad?
it could be worse
thanks a lot, the voice said, obviously insulted by his
lack of appreciation
remus lupin just smirked, half watching the next years as they slipped by
he leaned forward again as he recognized the events leading up to what was one of the most turbulent times in his life
Remus Lupin slammed into the little cabin, unaware he was growling under his breath in anger. Those stupid clods, he raged, how dare they think. He broke off when he spotted the owl perched on the table. He rarely got mail, besides the Daily Prophet, and this was obviously no ordinary post owl. The creature spread its wings when it saw him, revealing the letter tied to his leg. Lupin untied the letter, enjoying the feel of quality vellum under his fingers. His grin faded as he recognized the script marching across the page, his smile disappeared entirely when he realized what Dumbledore was asking.
Remus,
I would like you to reconsider you refusal. You are needed badly, not only for your admirable abilities against the Dark Arts, but also for your justifiable concern for Harry's safety. If Black is not captured soon, Harry could be in considerable danger, more so than usual. The boy and his friends have no sense of restraint. They are notable for their sheer disregard of danger, as well as for their uncanny ability to find trouble and survive.
You are needed badly, Remus. I am sure you will not disappoint me. The Hogwarts Express will leave Platform 9 3/4 on August 31.
Dumbledore
dumbledore is a canny old bird, isn't he? the voice
murmured irreverently, drawing a startled laugh from remus
lupin
i've never heard him described quite like that, remus lupin admitted, watching himself pack his battered case and board the hogwarts express
Remus Lupin curled up in his seat, closing his eyes, exhaustion pulling at him. The full moon had only been the day before. He was on the verge of sleep when the door opened and three teens tumbled in. His heart stuttered when he spotted Harry, barely able to keep his seat as the train pulled out of the station and the teens settled in for the long ride, talking excitedly.
i wasn't really asleep, he told the voice, i just wasn't brave enough to face harry yet, the first sight of him nearly made my heart stop, he looks so much like james it's almost scary, but he has lily's eyes
he watched as the year progressed, teaching the class, coming to know his best friends' son, seeing Lily reflected from his eyes, seeing James grinning at him after so long, desperately following the news about black, almost torn apart by conflicting thoughts and urges, then the shrieking shack and sirius' story
i felt so guilty, he muttered to the patient voice, after hearing what sirius had to say, after seeing pettigrew, it all made so much sense, all the nagging questions answered and cleared away
Remus Lupin climbed into the school carriage, resisting the urge to glance back at the school. Despite his rather ignominious retreat from Hogwarts, he felt more relaxed and optimistic than he had in years. He was still a werewolf, there was no forgetting that, but in a curious way, the Marauders were back and his life was back on track. Sirius was out there somewhere, Remus was determined to find him and help in any way he could. Peter was also free and on his way to find his master. Simple logic revealed that Lord Voldemort was coming back; Remus was not going to let that snake eyed freak destroy his world again.
Standing on the platform, about to board the Hogwarts Express, he allowed himself to look back at the castle. He had to admire Harry and his friends. They were brave and loyal and intelligent. He knew with a pang that they would need all their resources to defeat Lord Voldemort.
"We will meet again, Harry Potter," he whispered, then boarded the train and faced forward, towards the future, whatever it held.
remus lupin watched the next years flicker by
the dark lord rose again, but this time the magical community was better prepared, less willing to meekly surrender, more willing to fight back against his horror
but, in the end, it came down to a few brave souls, fighting with the last dregs of their courage and strength to finally destroy the dark lord
remus lupin watched as they fell one by one, until finally lord voldemort was no more
remus lupin watched the final battle, watching as friends killed and died, all in the name of some amorphous idea called the light that they couldn't really see or touch, only believe in
was it worth it, remus lupin?
was what worth it? he asked absently, staring at the now blank walls
was it worth dying for
it?
the light, remus lupin, was the light worth dying for
my friends were worth dying for, he said slowly
would you do it again?
remus lupin didn't answer at first, just stared off into some invisible distance, measuring the final result against the pain, measuring what he found against what he lost
finally, he nodded his head
yes, i would do it again, in a heartbeat
then look, remus lupin
even before he turned his head, he knew what he would see
not scenes out of his life, but friends, taken away from him too soon
Lily and James Potter stood before him, grinning, with their arms around Harry. Sirius stood beside them with Ron and Hermione, laughing. Other faces peered at him, other voices called him, but those were the ones that mattered and he walked into their embrace, content with his work.