For nearly a minute after Goren had walked out, both Detective Alex Eames and Captain Danny Ross stood in bewildered silence. When one of them finally found their voice, it was Ross, and he sounded as incredulous as he looked.
"Did I miss something? Does he want me to fire him?"
Alex suspected it was a rhetorical question, and treated it accordingly. Shaking her head, she spoke angrily, and more to herself than to her captain.
"Son of a bitch… You're doing it again, Bobby…"
That drew Ross's attention, and he looked at her questioningly.
"Doing what again? What are you talking about, Detective?"
Alex shook her head.
"It's nothing," she muttered, and was about to head back to her desk when Ross intercepted her, and ushered her into his office instead.
"Don't, Detective Eames," he warned her. "Don't take the path your partner's taken. Talk to me. What is he doing again?"
Alex faltered, realising that in trying to brush Ross off, she had done exactly what Bobby had been doing since the case began. Sighing, she walked over, and sank into one of the chairs, and tried to work out where to begin.
"Bobby has major abandonment issues. He expects everyone to leave him, and he tends to push them away himself… It's his warped way of trying to keep from being hurt. He did it when he was first partnered with me. It took me a long time to get it through his head that I wasn't easily pushed away. Now, he's doing it again… Pushing me away, and I just don't think I have the energy to fight him over it this time."
Ross watched her thoughtfully. He could see in her features the stress that he himself was feeling – the stress that had only been compounded by Bobby Goren's petulant behaviour. And yet, he wondered…
"Carmel Ridge?" he asked, and Alex threw him a puzzled look.
"Sorry?"
"I assume that's where he'll be headed?" Ross said. "To Carmel Ridge? To see his mother?"
Alex sighed, then, and nodded.
"Yes. Captain… You aren't going to… are you?"
At that, a wry smile touched Ross's lips.
"And give him the satisfaction? Not a chance. Seriously, Eames, if I can't cope with occasional conflicts with my people, then what sort of a captain am I going to be?"
Despite her own aggravation towards Bobby, Alex couldn't hold back the relieved smile that broke out over her features.
"Thankyou," she murmured sincerely. "He really isn't normally like that… and I promise I'll haul him back into line, if I have to kick him in the ass to do it."
"No, Detective, don't worry about it," Ross reassured her. "Just… go on home. Get some rest, and take tomorrow off."
Alex's eyebrows shot up.
"Seriously?"
"Seriously. Forget about the paperwork for now. It can wait a day or two. Consider it a makeup for Thanksgiving. Go, spend it with your family."
The genuine gratitude on her face at his words just about made his day. He stood in the doorway of his office, watching as she collected her bag and her coat, and headed out of the office. He waited until he was certain she'd gone before grabbing his own jacket, and heading out as well.
The drive to Carmel Ridge gave Ross the opportunity for some serious reflection and thought. The more he considered Goren's behaviour, the more he thought he understood him. It didn't excuse his insubordinate attitude, but it gave Ross some hope that he might have a chance at reaching some sort of resolution that wouldn't end with the dissolution of Goren and Eames' partnership, or Goren losing his job. To his way of thinking, both of those possibilities were unacceptable.
Goren was a damned good cop. He knew this. He'd seen the man work, and was slowly coming to appreciate his unique skills and techniques. Above all, Ross did not want to lose Bobby Goren from his squad, and it was for that main reason that he was making this trip now.
Eames had said he had abandonment issues. That was something he could understand, and he could also understand the concept of pushing people away. You let someone get close to you, and you ran the risk of getting hurt. He'd been there, he knew what that was like. Apparently Goren did, as well. Ross wasn't exactly looking to bond with the man, but he thought he might be able to use the knowledge to the benefit of all of them, and maybe when they were all back at work, there might just be a better chance to heal the wounds that the last couple of days had opened up.
He pulled into the Carmel Ridge car park, and headed inside.
He heard the commotion long before he saw anything. It was hard to miss, with a high-pitched, panic-riddled voice screaming hysterical vitriol.
"You're a bastard! Nothing but a scheming, ungrateful little bastard! You planned this, didn't you? You planned this to get rid of me! They got you after all!"
"Mom, for God's sake…"
Ross recognised Bobby's voice, strained and tense, rising above his mother's hysterical rants.
"No! You're not my son! You're just one of them. You have been all along, haven't you? They've had you all along! No, stay away from me…"
Ross paused not too far from the doorway where the noise seemed to be coming from, and a moment later there was a loud crash, followed by an audible cry of pain.
"Get out! Get out!"
And then Bobby emerged, stumbling from the room with one hand clasped to his cheek. Blood streamed down his face, and down his neck to stain his shirt collar. A nurse followed him out and urged him to sit down in a chair in the hallway before hurrying back into the room.
Ross stood still and quiet for nearly a minute, torn over what to do. Finally, he made up his mind and approached his detective.
Bobby sat in silence, holding his bloodied cheek and struggling not to just give in to the grief and cry. He should have known better than to head back to Carmel Ridge when he stormed out of the bullpen, earlier, but his conscience and sense of responsibility towards his mother would allow him to do nothing else. Sure enough, when he got there, she had been well on the way to a fresh psychotic break. He'd recognised the signs, and had been helpless to stop it.
Her ranting echoed painfully in his ears. The doctors were either incompetent, or frauds, and they were all trying to kill her. It hadn't taken her long to reach the conclusion that because he had been the one to organise her treatment, then he had to be in collusion with the doctors. Therefore, in her sick mind, he was trying to kill her, too. From there, it had just degenerated until finally, when he attempted to physically restrain her so the doctor could sedate her, she'd picked up a tall glass from the nearby dresser and smashed it on his face.
He shuddered again, and couldn't quite find the strength to stop the tears that filled his eyes. He was still sitting there, unmoving, when a large, cream-coloured handkerchief descended into his line of sight. He looked up slowly, and couldn't conceal his shock to find his captain standing there, holding out the handkerchief as though it was some sort of libation.
"Take it," Ross prompted him. "It'll work better than your hand."
Bobby took it and, in the moment it took him to remove his hand from the wound and replace it with the handkerchief, Ross caught a glimpse of an ugly, jagged cut that ran from the bottom of Bobby's left ear, across his cheek and down to his jaw.
"That's going to need stitches," Ross remarked unnecessarily. Bobby stared up at him, undecided as to whether he should feel resentful or not that Ross had followed him to the centre.
"What are you doing here?"
Ross chose to ignore the tone of the question.
"I came after you because we have some things to sort out, Goren, and I was not willing to sit back and let you stew for the next forty-eight hours."
Bobby started to look away, prompting Ross to speak again.
"Look at me, Detective."
There was just enough authority there to draw Bobby's gaze back to him. Once he was sure he had Bobby's attention, Ross went on quietly.
"There was no excuse for your attitude today, or yesterday."
Bobby opened his mouth to speak, but Ross cut him off.
"No, let me finish. I said there was no excuse, but I can accept there was a reason. And, for the record, I have no intention of firing you." As he spoke those words, he couldn't miss the relief in Bobby's eyes, and it took some effort for him not to smile. "I'm not even going to reprimand you, although God knows I ought to. But I think you're going to have enough on your plate trying to make things up to your partner." The relief vanished, replaced by a genuine look of worry and fear. Ross interpreted it correctly, and decided to take pity on him. "The damage isn't irreparable, but I'll give you one strong piece of advice, and you'd better listen to it. Don't sit back and wait for your partner to extend the olive branch, Detective. You'd better be the one to make the first move, or you might just lose her after all. And I know you don't want that anymore than I do."
"I thought you'd be glad to see me walk," Bobby muttered. Ross answered that with a moment of silence.
"When I first took over as captain? I admit, I might have been. But now? No, Detective. I don't want that. I don't want to lose you from my squad, and I don't want to see my most productive team broken up. But you have to make the effort now. No one else."
Bobby did look away, then.
"I… I just don't know if I have the energy to do this anymore."
Ross fell silent as he contemplated that. He was still considering a suitable reply when one of the nurses emerged from the room, and made a beeline for Bobby.
"She's sedated now," she told him gently. Ross guessed from her tone and manner towards Bobby that this was a routine that had been played out many times before. "Come with me, Bobby. We'll do something about that cut."
Bobby glanced back at Ross, as though looking for an official dismissal. Old habits really were hard to break, he mused.
"Go on," Ross told him. "I'll wait for you here."
Bobby went in silence, still holding the now blood-soaked handkerchief to his face.
When Bobby returned, he found Ross standing in the door of his mother's room, observing her in sympathetic silence. He paused, unsure what to make of the scene before him, and was still trying to decide what to do when Ross looked around at him.
"Walk with me, Goren."
It wasn't a request, and Bobby fell in step beside the captain, if only because there was nothing else for him to do.
Not a word was spoken until they got outside, into the gentle sunlight and brisk air. Then, when Ross finally spoke, it was in a quiet, understanding tone.
"In my experience, there are few things worse that trying to juggle family responsibilities with your career, when you're a cop. I tried, and it ended up costing my marriage."
"I… I'm not going to apologise," Bobby vowed softly. Ross raised an eyebrow at him.
"Did I say I expected you to? Just hear me out, Goren."
Bobby nodded wordlessly. Yes, he could do that.
"Okay," Ross murmured. "I won't try to tell you that I understand your situation. I don't, and I won't try and push you into talking to me about it. If you won't talk to your partner of nearly seven years, then you're certainly not going to confide in a captain you've only known for a few months."
Bobby let his breath out in a rush. Coming from just about anyone else, he would have suspected those words to be a fairly lousy attempt at reverse psychology, but Ross didn't come across as the type of person to make a cheap-ass attempt at playing shrink to his underlings.
"I've always tried to keep this separate… to the job," he stammered. "I managed to, for a while… Until Nicole…"
Ross nodded. He knew the Nicole Wallace file well. The same day he'd taken over Major Case, Jim Deakins had phoned him and strongly advised him to read up thoroughly on Nicole Wallace. He'd done so, more out of curiosity than a sense of necessity, but by the time he was done, he understood what a deadly predator the woman was. And after watching all the interrogation tapes, he understood how badly she'd knocked Bobby off balance.
"Then last year… The Garrett case…"
Again, Ross needed no further explanation. Like just about every other cop in the city, he'd heard plenty about the ex-cop that Harold Garrett had bribed to come to Carmel Ridge and harass Frances Goren. He, along with every other cop he knew, had been disgusted by the dirty tactics at the time, and that disgust had been compounded as he'd stood in the doorway of Frances' room, watching her sleep.
"And now this," Bobby finished off, shoulders slumping heavily. Ross slowed to a halt and turned to look at him intently.
"I'm going to ask you a question, and I want you to give me an honest answer. Do you want to quit?"
There was no way Bobby could hide the dismay he felt at the mere suggestion.
"No! No, sir… I don't."
"Okay. And I'm assuming you don't want a new partner?"
The ashen colour that Bobby went answered that question for him.
"I thought not," he mused. "So tell me, Detective. What do you want?"
"Wh… What do you mean?"
"You said before that you don't know that you have the energy to do this anymore. What did you mean, exactly?"
Bobby appeared flummoxed.
"I… Well… I meant that…" He hesitated, drawing in a long breath, and then speaking softly. "My mom is sick. She's got cancer… The doctors are talking in… in weeks, not months."
"I'm sorry," Ross murmured sincerely. Bobby sighed softly.
"The schizophrenia makes it worse… She's demanding… and she gets abusive when I can't give her all my time."
"Did you consider requesting leave to take care of her?" Ross wondered, but Bobby shook his head.
"I… couldn't do that. I'd go crazy, not having the job to focus on. I need my job, Captain."
"That's reassuring to hear, Detective. And I need you on the job. So does your partner. That's why we need to find a compromise right here and now, so that what happened today and yesterday doesn't happen again."
Bobby stared at him, confused and helpless to suggest a solution.
"It doesn't have to be this painful, Detective," Ross said after a long, awkward silence. "I'm only asking one thing of you. When it's starting to get to be too much for you, talk to someone. If you can't come to me, then go to your partner. She tried damned hard to help you out yesterday. Don't push her away, for your own sake."
Bobby's shoulders slumped heavily.
"I'm sorry, Captain," he whispered, his voice shaking just slightly. Ross regarded him seriously.
"Apology accepted. But you'd better damn well offer Eames more than just words."
"I will," Bobby murmured. He paused, looking quizzically at Ross. "Captain… Why did you come here? Really…"
A wry smile crossed Ross's lips as they began to walk again.
"You don't remember our last private conversation, do you, Goren?"
"Sir?"
"In Murphy's Tavern?"
The baffled look on Bobby's face answered for him.
"Well, all you need to know is that I do remember it… but this time, I thought I wouldn't wait until you were plastered again to have it out with you. I want us to be able to work together, Goren. I know it's going to take time to build up a decent level of trust, but I'm willing to work at it if you are. And, just between us… Don't take it personally if you think I'm being too hands on with your cases. I've been told I can be a little bit anal about that. It's a habit, and I have no intention of quitting now."
Bobby smiled, despite himself, and a soft chuckle escaped him before he could stop it. Ross smiled in response, coming to a halt out the front the Centre's doors, and offered his hand to Bobby. The detective took it without hesitation.
"Truce, Detective?" Ross asked lightly, and Bobby's smile widened fractionally.
"Yes, sir. Thankyou, Captain."
"Just make sure you start the day off right when you come back to work the day after tomorrow. I think you know what I mean."
Bobby nodded, too astounded to question the fact that Ross was effectively given him a day off despite his actions over the last two days.
"Yes, sir," he murmured with sincere gratitude, his mind already forming ideas of how to reconcile himself with his partner. "I do."
tbc...