ICEMARK INBOXES!
This is basically emails and chat room conversations during the first Icemark book. I'm planning on doing another one for Blade of Fire. Yes, they are all completely random. The site wouldn't let me type the "at" symbol or so they are now ":" and "-". Alrighty then, disclaimer time.
Disclaimer: I do not own Cry of the Icemark. That's owned by Stuart Hill, who is not me.
THIRRIN'S INBOX
To:wildcat: lightning: witches-net
Subject: Coffee
Hi Thirrin,
Just wondering whether you think a beaver attack charm would be appropriate for Bellorum's "birthday present". Concealed in a giant Thermos of coffee of course. Which would actually be muddy water with a little coffee so it smells like it. By the way, if we're trying to get him to drink coffee spiked with something, why can't we spike it with poison? I mean really.
-Oskan
To: wildcat: icemark-net
From: coffeeisbeastly: empire-net
Subj: I AM NOT A RAISIN!!
Are you going to surrender yet? Because this whole siege thing is getting old and I'm running out of coffee. And I'm winning. And I do NOT look like a raisin! I'm just aging!
To: wildcat: icemark-net
From: snowleopardthar: northpole-net
Subj: Just checking
Dear Thirrin
So this voice-typing thingy you gave me actually works! It's so amazing! Now I can talk to people and eat steak at the same time! Not that I think steaks are more important than people of course. Btw you emailed Bellorum and told him he looks like a raisin with big ears and that he's an incompetent fool! Hahaha! Actually now that you mention it he does look like a giant raisin.
-Tharaman
To: wildcat: icemark-net
From: villagehardware: empire-net
Subj: Always serving the customer!
In response to your order we do not sell atomic bombs, missiles, H-bombs, cannons, rifles, machine guns, snipers, pistols, land mines, explosives, missile launchers, or grenades. For technology capable of sending certain military officials into deep space, you will have to ask the military. We do, however, sell spray paint.
To: wildcat: icemark-net
From: thesmartone: icemark-net
Subj: Your study habits
Dear Thirrin,
I know we are in the middle of a war, but if you have enough time to email Oskan about this "Operation Birthday Surprises" and call Imperial hardware stores requesting explosives to explode Bellorum into a thousand million bite-sized pieces, then you have enough time to do your homework!
-Maggiore
To: wildcat: icemark-net
From: bearofthenorth: valhalla-net
Subj: Checking in
My dear daughter
We have been watching you from Valhalla (we as in me, Lady Theowin, Elemnestra, and our new friend the Flying Dutchman) and think you're doing a wonderful job of defending the country! And I think that Oskan boy likes you. Well, I'm off to go haunt Bellorum's dreams. I swear, he does not have a conscience at all. AND he is seemingly immune to consumption by guilt. But I'm trying anyway. It's fun and it gives me something to do – it's REALLY boring up here, to tell you the truth.
Your father,
Redrought