HOW THE ANIMORPHS SAVED CHRISTMAS

Disclamer: You know the drill. All the Animorphs and Company belong to K. A. Applegate.

A/N: Okay, Okay. I know Rachel wouldn't do this. But it's funny!

December 16

"Hey, Rachel." Tobias called. He, Marco, and Ax emerged from the food court to see Rachel, clutching five shopping bags in her hands. "That's more bags than even you normally have. What's up?"

Rachel shot him a puzzled look. She pointed at the big Santa display. "Duh."

"Oh, yeah." Tobias said, blushing. "I, you know, forgot. For a second."

"How can you forget Christmas?" Ax said. "It is the most wonderful season! A time for giving! That is why you should buy your loved one some Kay jewelry, half price off at participating stores. Every kiss begins with Kay."

"Please!" Marco moaned. "You've been telling us the Christmas commercial for every store we've passed."

"That is because I am trying to remember the commercial for the store that is selling cinnamon buns at a discount. Diiiisssk. Count. Disk." Ax said, then added. "Count."

"Come on, I've got to meet my mom and Jordan in a few minutes." Rachel said, checking her watch. The four started walking towards the entrance.

"Attention shoppers, Toys R' Us has received a shipment of five Xboxes." The loudspeaker boomed. "Attention. Five Xboxes only. But we ask you to proceed in an orderly manner-"

His noise was lost in the noise of a thousand customers stampeding.

"Isn't that what you were going to get Prince Jake?" Ax said, ignoring Marco and Tobias shaking their heads frantically.

"Uh - Yeah!" Rachel said. She thrust her bags at Marco and rolled up her sleeves.

"Rachel..." Marco sighed. "How long have you been planning to get him an Xbox?"

"Since-" Rachel checked her watch. "3 minutes."

Rachel rushed into the crowd. Tobias, Marco and Ax looked at each other, and ran after her.

"It's war time!" Rachel yelled, punching through the crowd. She disappeared into the Toys R' Us entrance.

"Would you people move!" Tobias yelled, struggling to get to Rachel. The crowd was surging towards Toys R' Us, but didn't appear to be getting anywhere at all.

Marco moaned and clutched his stomach. Tobias and Ax looked at him.

"Are you feeling abdominal discomfort, Marco?" Ax said. "Would you like some Pepto-Bismol? It is half price off at the K-mart Pharmacy."

"I-" Marco's cheeks bulged out. "I think I'm going to barf!"

"Ahh!" A lady screamed. "He's going to throw up!"

The crowd thinned out in front of Marco immediately. Ax and Tobias grabbed Marco by his arms and ran forward. Marco covered his mouth to hide his grin.

(Good job.) Ax said in private thought-speak, and started looking for Rachel.

"Oh!" Tobias gasped in shock, and pointed. Rachel had two plastic shovels in her hands, and was standing on top of a pile of boxes. Around her was a pile of people nursing their black eyes and scraped arms.

"This is inappropriate behavior!" Ax exclaimed. "Why do humans do these things?!?!"

"Sometimes I wonder the same thing, Ax-man." Marco said, shaking his head. He grabbed a plastic Tonka construction helmet, a Dark Knight shield, and a Power Ranger DinoThunder sword. "But if you can't beat em..."

Tobias grabbed a banjo, a slingshot and a box of Super balls. "Join em." He finished.

Tobias and Marco stood back to back, swinging banjo and sword. They started fighting towards Rachel.

"Barbaric." Ax said. He leaned against a shelf. "Absolutely primitive."

He watched Marco battling an employee who was swinging a broom. Tobias loaded a super ball into his slingshot and hit him on the head.

"That looked almost enjoyable." Ax said. He eyed a water gun and a bottle of bubble-mix.

Ax grabbed the bubble-mix and poured it into the gun. "Perhaps Marco and Tobias require assistance."

Ax ran into the crowd, whooping and firing the water gun.

"Marco!" Tobias bellowed. He pointed to five security guards racing into the room.

"Crap!" Marco kicked a man into a shelf. "Get Rachel. Hide and demorph to hawk."

RACHEL! Tobias yelled. He ran beneath the checkout counter. Stop it!

"Hah!" Marco sent the employee's broom flying. Marco hit him in the head with the hilt of his sword, and the employee tumbled away.

"I am here to assist." Ax said. He came next to Marco and started firing. "Even though I am not enjoying any part of this violent escapade."

"Thanks, but we can't get through this crowd!" Marco said. "Tobias is going hawk and flying over to Rachel."

"I believe that those stacked levels will support our weight." Ax said, pointing to the shelves.

"Let's try." Marco said. He pushed past a lady and jumped onto the shelf. "Seems sturdy enough."

Ax jumped for the shelf, but somebody grabbed him.

"Hah!" The security guard yelled. "Get off the shelf, kid!"

"Oh, Crap, The Fuzz!" Ax yelled. He squirted the security guard in the face. "Scatter! Every man for himself!"

"AX!" Marco sighed. "What have you been watching?"

Ax ignored him and dove through the shelf.

He landed in the next aisle and rolled to his feet perfectly. Two more guards ran around the corner. Looking around franticly, he spied a Tonka ride-along truck.

"Yes!" He leapt in. "A getaway car!"

"We really need to turn off your TV." Marco sighed. He was running on top of the shelf, and Ax was puttering along below him.

"Hah Hah!" Ax yelled gleefully, and emptied the last of his water gun onto the floor. One security guard skidded and landed on the floor with a splash. The other one tripped over him. Ax raised his fist in triumph.

(She's two shelves over Marco.) Tobias called. He was floating high up among the metal beams. Gonna have to jump.

Marco gritted his teeth. "This is insane!" He yelled, and leapt.

"Ahh!" Marco's right sneaker slapped the shelf and slid off, and his left foot caught under the shelf.

"Argh!" Marco grabbed the shelf with his left hand, letting his shield drop. Grunting with the effort, he pulled himself up.

He sat panting for a second, and then hurled himself onto the next shelf. "Oof." He landed on top of the shelf with a loud thud. "I'm only supposed to have to do this type of stuff during missions."

(Look out!) Tobias yelled. Marco rolled to the side, and a shovel hit the shelf next to him. It bounced over the edge and hit a guard on the head.

"Rachel, it's me!" Marco yelped. He leapt up and knocked her other shovel flying with a lucky, wild swing. "Chill! You are out of control!"

Rachel growled and reached below her.

(Marco, below, on the shelf!) Tobias yelled. Marco looked down and saw toy light sabers.

(No, look up, you idiot!) Tobias screeched.

Marco forgave Tobias for calling him an idiot as he jumped out of the way of Rachel's powerful swing. The light saber left a dent in the shelf where he was.

"Put it down, Xena." He said. He raised his sword. Rachel growled, a wild look in her eyes. She raised her light saber.

"ROOOAR!" Rachel bellowed, and started hacking crazily at Marco. Marco barely parried and blocked each blow. He was slowly being forced backwards towards the edge of the shelf.

"HA!" Rachel yelled triumphantly, slamming Marco square in the chest with her light saber. Marco flailed wildly on the edge for a moment, and then tumbled off the shelf. "NOOO!"

SQUEAK!

(Squeak?) Tobias said. (SQUEAK?)

Marco landed inside of a dump truck full of rubber ducks. "I have you, Marco." Ax said calmly. He turned the truck around and drove alongside the shelf.

Marco stood up slowly, looking for his weapon. Not finding it, he reached up and grabbed a light saber as they went past. He put it between his teeth and prepared to jump.

"Go kick some ass." Ax said.

HEY! UH-UH! Tobias yelled. I AM GOING TO UNPLUG YOUR TV AS SOON AS WE GET HOME!

Marco jumped up and swung himself back onto the shelf. Rachel sneered. "You again!" She charged at Marco.

ZEEW! ZEEW! The light sabers made corny zapping noises as they clashed into each other.

"Stop it Rachel! You're not even trying to get the Xbox! You just want to beat people up!" Marco yelled. He got in a blow on the side of her arm. "War time is over!"

Over...Over...Over...Over...

ZEEW! Marco's saber went spiraling away. "What did you say?" She hissed. The lights flickered.

Uh-oh. Tobias said.

"Uh..Heh." Marco chuckled. "I didn't say anything."

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"Rachel bellowed.

"I said... TOBIAS LOOP AROUND HER!" Marco yelled. Tobias's eyes glowed.

"AHHH!" Rachel yelled.

PLOOSH! PLOOSH! PLOOSH! PLOOSH!

"Hahahaha." Marco laughed. Suddenly he stopped. "Ulp."

Rachel was fine. He saber was covered, but she untouched.

(She's too angry!) Ax yelled. (I fear that you are doomed, Marco.)

Rachel swung her saber at Marco, but he dodged.

SWISH! SWISH! SWISH!

Three impossibly fast blow. Three impossibly fast dodges.

(What the-) Tobias said, looking down in amazement.

(That is impossible!) Ax exclaimed in shock. (Human skeletal structure is too rigid to allow such fluid movement. Can all humans do this?)

(The laws of physics don't apply to Marco when it comes to dodging- Well, you know.) Tobias sighed. (The saber's covered in it.)

Rachel growled and threw down her saber. She started jumping from shelf to shelf.

"Get over here!" Marco yelled. He jumped after Rachel.

"Yeah, get over here!" Jake yelled, running below. Rachel fell from surprise, and Jake grabbed her and shook her.

Rachel cursed. The wild gleam disappeared from her eyes. "When did you get here?"

"When I heard that somebody was rampaging through a store." Jake said. "I thought, 'Hmm. Who could that be?"

"Jake, Rachel's 'buying you an Xbox.' " Marco said. "Oops. Sorry Rachel. Guess you can't get it for him anymore."

Rachel glared at Marco, and then looked around. There were still a few people left that she could fight. She looked hopefully at Jake. "Think Jordan would want an Xbox?"

"No I wouldn't." Jordan said, entering Toys R' Us. "Come on, Rachel. Mom sent me to make sure you aren't trying to get an-"

She stopped and looked around. "Xbox." She finished dryly. She stepped carefully over the people lying on the ground, who were struggling to get up. She grabbed Rachel's arm and tugged her towards the exit.

Rachel grumbled and yanked her arm away. She stomped out. "You don't think Sara wants-"

"No, Rachel!"