I silently wait beside you in bed for the first rays of sun to shine in and wake you from your peaceful slumber. I've been up all night pondering ways to let you know I've had enough. Enough of you and your little game that slowly tears me apart deep inside.

I don't know and can't even begin to imagine why I love you. Time after time I allow myself to be used by you even though I know I'm not the only one in you life.

The bitter truth that resides in the back of my love-struck mind has told me from the beginning you're no good.

It started in fifth year, mid September. We were partnered in Transfiguration. I remember the day we shared our first words; you had me from hello.

I adored how you warms hazel eyes, flecked with bits of gold followed me with a lustful gaze. Your full, beautifully colored lips sweetly whispered my name in class.

The voice you carried so unique; not as high as a tenor, nor as low as a baritone. Just hearing you say my name made my insides squirm in pleasure. The syllables rolled off your tongue and lingered in your mouth. "Angelina".

I dreamed from that day on about you, and how I would walk a thousand miles to hear you scream my name.

Your face, so slender and flawless, yet full and warm. I fantasized that one day you would be mine, and hoped to Merlin that our breaths could mingle and carry to my ears. I would welcome you voice, so sweet and pure that it would tickle my ears.

I loved you luxurious red locks, they truly amazed me and put me in awe. Hair so red that it turned an orange gold in the sun, honey in the dripping rain, and glowed beautifully in the moonlight.

I could star at you for ages and never tire. I would never be bored with you in my presence. What can I say? I fell hopelessly in love with you.

Even though my desire was apparently love at first sight, I let go of life's reins and let you take the lead. God I remember how I lusted after you every waking minute of my life, hell, you even starred in my dreams. I woke countless times with you on my mind and heart, out of breathe, whispering you name so my fellow Gryffindors wouldn't catch on to my desire.

My every thought was consumed by you. It was truly amazing how much I, Angelina, was in love with you Fred.

The winter of our fifth year was deathly cold, and the freezing outside temperatures seemed to bring us closer together.

The Christmas holidays emptied Hogwart's corridors, and common rooms. We were basically the only Gryffindors left. My friends had gone home, and your whole family left for the burrow with a case of dragon pox running through their bloodstream.

I planned on a Christmas alone in my stuffy room, snuggled under the cozy blankets. I desperately wanted to forget you and how abandoned I felt inside my isolated little world.

Trying to escape you was a waste, and only made my longing and desire even stronger. Like a smoker addicted to nicotine.

I could only manage to stay away from you for a measly day. How pathetic was I? Well, not pathetic; I was infatuated.

So we talked for hours on end on that scarlet love-couch for two in front of the blazing fire and glistening Christmas tree. My craving for you was suddenly too much for me to handle, and I panicked, afraid of what my romantic and lust-filled half on me would do if I allowed it to possess me.

That night my dreams of you became more intimate and I didn't care, I craved more and more.

The next morning was the coldest yet, and I decided on a walk to clear my mind and set my priorities straight.

I bundled up in my scarlet and gold Gryffindor attire and proceeded to head outside. The cold was inviting and wonderful, so soothing on my flushed face that I continued, not daring to think of it getting progressively colder.

I took my seat by my favourite beech tree by the lake inhabited by cold-weather adapted species. The gusting wind whipped my shiny brown locks wildly around my face.

The beech tree was hardly alive with its bare branches and deadly brown bark, yet something drew me to it. I thought of you Fred, and took out my wand and carved "Fred and Angelina" into its dead protective covering.

I finished my handy-work and studied the frozen-over lake. It was an icy-blue covered in snow, a beautiful sight. I scarcely paid any attention to the new snow falling in minuscule flakes, piling all around me.

The snow completely covered my skinny legs now, but I was in a peaceful state of mind, much too peaceful to worry about the biting cold.

Minutes, maybe hours passed by when I finally shivered and realized how frosty I was.

I started to begin my march inside when my ears heard a soft, snow-crunching sound behind me. I begun to turn my head, but before I could catch a glimpse of what was behind me, warm slender hands covered my numb face.

"Guess who?" rumbled that sweet, unique voice, making my insides melt with pleasure.

"Fred" I whispered in a breathy voice. It wasn't a guess, I just knew. No other boy could make me that weak in the knees with two simple words.

The warm hand vanished and that angel of a boy sat beside me.

"Aren't you cold?" Fred asked, his sugary sweet breath tickling my ears.

"Not anymore." I sighed dreamily, still studying the glossy lake.

I lay down in the sow, and almost instantly Fred joined me. He threw a blanket over us, and I snuggle closer, savoring this intimate moment, knowing it wouldn't last long enough for me.

His shoulder was so soft, and the moment was perfect. I gazed at him longingly with the snow flakes residing in his fiery locks. The look was returned, and he leaned forward.

We finally kissed, and what a kiss it was. So sizzling and full of desire and pure hunger. His tongue touched mine and I melted, inwardly moaning. My first kiss, better than I had ever imagined because it was with you Fred.

That blissful day we wrestled by the warm fire blazing against us. We held on to each other, as if we were afraid to loose each other.

Your kisses dissolved my insides and made my body ache with need. I know you felt it too.

Apparently you felt the same way, and that liquefied my heart.

Our slow and passion-pouring kisses got more intense had us craving more and more. Your kisses so smothering and bleeding fervor. I wanted more. I needed more. My body ached wildly. I never knew that one could feel this good.

Our clothes were and unnecessary barrier between us that needed to be shed.

Your pale slender hands slowly pulled my shirt off, revealing my bra and breasts. You gently unhooked my bra, leaving me feeling exposed and needy.

I pulled off your shirt and discovered defined stomach muscles. Your milky, smooth skin so beautiful. You laid on me, your chest radiating heat on my breasts. We kissed, and your slender hands cupped my chest.

You planted searing kisses down my neck and chest and covered my nipple with you warm mouth.

I moaned in pleasure, gently arching my bare back into your stomach when I felt your tongue teasing me. I felt your mouth moan into my tiny neck and bony shoulder, soft hands, running through my long, sleek, brown hair.

Your jeans were shed, as were mine, then off with the remaining clothes on our bodies.

Searing kisses branded my soft, curving body, leaving me gasping for more. Your lips caressed my inner-thigh, making my body react. I was aching for more, groaning your name.

My hips and center bucked softly into you, and I could feel you grow hard against me, I could hear your voice rumbling my name. "Angelina, Angelina, ah ah!"

My insides squirmed with pleasure. My center growing wet, I needed you, God I needed you.

So I told you how badly I wanted it. "Take me now Fred! I can't wait much longer."

And you didn't object Fred, and Merlin I wanted you so badly. Like an alcoholic needs whiskey, I needed you.

Your penis grinded against my vagina and the effect was instantaneous. I groaned and moaned. "Fred!" I could feel your ache, and I could hear you moaning. "Angelina".

"I need you Fred!" I really did, but you took your sweet time. Merlin knows how you love to torture me in pleasure.

"Please Fred, now!" I begged. And this time you listened, and you took me.

You nudged at my entry, and slowly broke through. I cried out in pain as you moved fully into me, my fingers dug into your shoulders, trying to escape some of the pain. After the pain resided, you moved in and out of me, and I felt a pleasure beyond anything I had felt before.

I climaxed screaming your name in ecstasy, as did you.

You slowly and gently pulled out of me, and we collapsed one the couch. We dressed and lay on the couch, slowly drifting to sleep, content in each other's arms.

The holidays ended quickly and school begun again with us as an "item". I was in love and blissful, and we spent many nights together happily.

This all lasted until March. I heard rumors of you sleeping around with a girl from Ravenclaw, but I was blinded by love, and didn't catch reality until it was too late.

I saw you snogging her in an abandoned classroom with the same passion and intimacy I believed we had.

I was relived you didn't see me, and I ran to my room in tears.

Although you were unfaithful I continued to see you, and we continued to make love night after night. You slowly tore me apart inside, ripping my heart, happiness, and hope to shreds.

So here I am now, breathless and hurting, yet deeply in love at 4 AM, waiting for sunlight to fill your room. I desperately want to hold you, and want to believe your faithful, but I know I can't.

Merlin I love you, and a part of my heart will always belong to you, my first love.

It's now 7 AM, and sun is beginning to fill the room. Merlin I'm sick of your game. I wish you would let me go, release me, just let my heart rest, even if it is in pieces.

You wake up and we look at each other. There's no longer love entwined in your hazel orbs, the flecks of gold I used to love now gone. Your locks aren't as beautiful now, but I sill love and yearn for you… and I'll never know why.

You glance around and mumble a weak excuse about your lost shirt, but we both know you're stalling for time, our last together.

I steal a glance at your torso and meet you eyes. We both reach a silent understanding. I feel my heart's over-night stitches coming undone as you embrace me. Merlin, I'll never know why I love you so much.

You kiss me with the passion we had long ago, your kiss searing my lips, branding me for life. We savor our last time together as passion and lust increase.

I don't know if I can bear to leave you, but I know deep down I have to. Just kiss me, and then take me one more time, one last time. Go on and crush me babe. Just like you have and always will.