Last Song
The distinct scent of a wintery holiday was so enticing, compared to the metallic taste of blood in between her chapped lips. From the ashes of Midgar, dead from the Jenova War, rose a small town bustling with life. Stores. Lovers walking side by side, and even a park. A park where flowers grew. As she walked towards it silently, she realized something.
It was different here.
It was nothing tangible, nothing she could really point out. But something was amiss, something was different. She had been promised another chance at life after saving the Planet by the Lifestream, another chance to reach supreme happiness. And she had been wrong, Tifa had been wrong, Nanaki had been wrong - her moment of supreme happiness was not the moment when she died, but the moment when she would be reunited with Cloud Strife.
But it was cold here.
She knew where she would find him, she had known that for the past few days. Four or five, since she was brought back from the source of the Planet. But how could she muster up the courage to go into Tifa's bar? She hid in a nearby shack, a few yard away from Seventh Heaven - Reborn. But she couldn't go home. No way.
And it was cruel of her.
But she couldn't go home.
She didn't need to hurt anyone else once more, for she knew that her new life came with a condition - she had to see Cloud again before she gave herself up. And there was no point in staying, really, honestly. Looking around, the new Midgar seemed to different. There was a part of her - and it was the weakest part of her - that wanted to go back and visit her church, the place where she first laid eyes on his face. But she had seen enough. It hurt her too much to remember everything that happened, to remember how to fear, to remember how to remember. She only wanted to bring her ability to love passionately back with her.
She couldn't stay any longer. She needed to see him.
And how strange it was, in this town with no snow or biting winds. Each side of the streets filled with stores or apartments, with restraunt or inns. And she was there, in the midst of everything, blending in but not fitting in. Nothing would really make anyone stare at her, for no one really knew her. No one. Not anymore.
The bar was within sight. If she wanted to, she could just... Walk in and... Pretend not to remember while their faces overflow with surprise... And how she longed for Cloud's arms, just once more...
But she couldn't. She wouldn't.
She would stand outside, peering in curiously from the window, silently, visually stalking everything with her curious eyes. Forgetting everything, she sped towards the entrance, tearing through the crowd.
"I'm coming, Cloud, I'm here, I'm... I..."
She halted abrupt at the window. Oh, God, the bar seemed so different. There was a row of small tables and high chairs, before a magnificent glass case filled with wine. If Tifa hadn't been there, she wouldn't have recognized the place.
Tifa.
She had forgotten how gloriously beautiful Tifa was. Her smooth, milky skin glowed against the contrasting black hair that flowed to her perfect waist. And her heart-shaped face was so devastatingly enchanting, she had to look away before the tears filled up. But she couldn't look away, because he was there.
Cloud.
He looked so different from her memories. He wore an outfit of black leather that wrapped around his perfected body tightly. And slowly, reluctantly, she lifted her eyes to his pale face and bright eyes. A gasp of pleasure she drew, and her fingers found their way to her lips. He was so, so... Perfect. Surely he would easily pass for the most gorgeous person in this town.
Had Tifa always been so beautiful?
And had Cloud always been so... magnificent?
Her thin lips turned upwards. Her first true smile. It was glorious, knowing that in a matter of seconds, she would be embracing him... So close, the only barrier was a thin sheet of glass. And then she saw Tifa lean towards Cloud, and she could tell that he was leaning towards her. In a few seconds, Tifa's pale, slender hand snaked around his neck.
In a wave of sickening nausea, the girl realized that they were kissing.
It was impossible! No way. Cloud couldn't... He wouldn't.
She fought back an urge to charge right in and take Tifa's place. But she could only stand there and watch.
Watch her life shatter into pieces of hopelessness.
Behind the dusty window she hid, and she felt so plain, so... ugly in her pink dress. How could she ever compare to the lovely maiden, the living form of perfection, of beauty? Her hands lifted themselves to press against the glass, and her heart dropped as she saw Tifa's plump lips form her name as she broke the connection.
"Aeris!"
The hostess stumbled back a few steps. Her back pressed against the shelf of wine. With one trembling finger, she pointed to the window. And Cloud turned around, his shock clearly defined on his gorgeous face. "Aeris!" He screamed, loud enough that she could hear over the noise of the town. And in one swift movement, he bursted out of the entrance. Tifa didn't follow.
"Aeris... you're alive..." He muttered as he posed himself in front of her.
"I'm glad you're happy, Cloud," She whispered, disguising her pain.
"Oh, I... Tifa and I..." He stuttered. Was he going to lie to her?
"Merry Christmas." Was the last words she uttered to him before she sent herself back to the Planet. And the last thing she saw was Cloud's hand reaching for hers, and the last thing she heard was his voice screaming her name, telling her to stay.
And he was wrong. She was dead. She had been dead ever since she was born. We are brought to this Planet to die, and our lives are just a countdown before we return to fuel the Planet's lust for life. It didn't matter anyway, she wanted him to be happy. Happy with anyone. All along, she had just been an option.
What she realized as she began to dissolve into a million particles, becoming the Lifestream, was that there was no supreme happiness. If there was any in the world, it was not for her. What she came searching for, she will never find. As the last particle of her soul dissolved, one thought travelled through her mind. The one and only truth to her.
Even now, Cloud, I still love you...
There will be no trace of her left. Only the impact that she had on a man named Cloud Strife, and the people that she was close to.
But that small thing meant nothing, and it will never mean anything.