A/n: Yeah, this isn't much, I just got a random idea and I had to write it down. This is an AU though it references back to the original storyline. It has implied Sanzo/Goku, but you don't have to see it that way. I think it might be rushed, and I think Sanzo's a little OOC, but I did my best. It's late and I'm tired. Also, a warning of character death. Anyway, enjoy.
I'll Wait Forever
It was so quick. So quick Goku didn't even notice. He didn't even feel it. Why was that? Didn't he love Sanzo enough? So why didn't he hear the monk's strangled cry as he dropped to his knees, forever lost in a sea of blood. There were no answers that could satisfy him. All he knew was that in the final battle, when Sanzo was struck down, Goku never knew. He continued fighting, as if nothing was wrong. Because, after all, these were only a bunch of demons. Stronger then others, but still, average demons nonetheless.
Turning with a grin, Goku shouted, "Hey Sanzo! I'm hungry, can we go get food after this?" But there was no reply. Not even a yell of aggravation. Cracking his eyes open, Goku surveyed the area. Not a flash of golden hair caught his attention. Panic started to set in. His golden eyes darted around the area, finding nothing but corpses and oncoming assassins. Where was Sanzo?
Panic evolved to fear as he spotted something. A very faint glimpse of gold. It was buried under blood and dirt he hadn't even recognized it. Goku's throat closed up. Was this really happening? Goku was terrified of finally having to face Sanzo's morality. He was human. Delicate. He was going to die before the rest of them, but Goku didn't think—didn't want to believe—that it would be this soon.
He darted across the battlefield as fast as his legs would carry him. He finally arrived next to the body, numbly falling to his knees, his Niyou-bo long since forgotten. "Sanzo?" he breathed, terror settling into his stomach. He reached out, gently brushing golden hair from the already pale faced. Relief settled in when he realized Sanzo was still breathing. "Sanzo!" the boy screamed, cradling his delicate head in his lap.
Betraying his silent orders, his eyes racked over Sanzo's body, soaking up the image of all his wounds. Blood seeped from everywhere. It seemed as though the demons had a field day with killing him. But he wasn't dead yet, Goku told himself. He could still be saved.
What was he thinking? Sanzo would be saved!
"Hakkai?" He called out, surveying the battlefield. The healer was lost in the masses, and it would be impossible to reach him. Panic once again returned as he turned back to face his sun, fumbling around with his robes in an attempt to help him.
A weak hand grabbed his wrist; glazed violet eyes peered up at him. "Don't," Sanzo's order was clipped. He was far too drained from the loss of blood. He didn't even have the energy to come up with a following insult.
"But," Goku was surprised to find his voice quivering. Eyes betraying his silent orders and filling with tears. It was becoming more and more difficult to see with the tears blocking his vision. "You're hurt, Sanzo! I want to do something."
Sanzo's head rested back against his lap, and his eyes slid shut. For a moment, Goku thought he had died, before his answer came out, expected as always. "There's nothing you can do," he paused, drying to gather whatever saliva he could. "Idiot," soon followed softly. His tone didn't hold any strength however. It broke Goku to hear.
"I won't let you die, Sanzo!" Goku cried out, tears flowing down his face. He couldn't help it. He didn't even bother to wipe them away. "What… what am I supposed to do without you?"
Sanzo said nothing for a moment, his breath coming in more and more labored. Finally, he opened his mouth, mouthing a few words before his soft voice finally passed his lips. "Wait for me," was all he said, before his breathing stopped. Just like that. No dramatic speech. No coughing fit. Nothing. Just like that Sanzo's breathing stopped, and along with it his life.
A few minutes later, Goku realized his throat was beginning to burn, and the muscles in his stomach were cramping. It took him a minute to realize he was screaming. Screaming and crying for the man he had lost. Though the sun was still shining, Goku could no longer feel it's heat. He was cold. Cold as Sanzo's lifeless body. Cold as the darkness.
Just cold.
Who knows how long he sat there, sobbing. He tried to convince himself that Sanzo wouldn't want him to cry, that he had to be strong. But he couldn't bring himself to be. Sanzo was gone. How was he supposed to be strong? The pillar of strength he had relied on all those years was suddenly whisked away. Now he was alone. So very alone.
Gojyo and Hakkai had tried to drag him away. Tried to calm him down. But he would not leave Sanzo's side. It took them hours before the young man's grip on the blood-soaked robes loosened. But as they tried to get him to relinquish the hold on the monk once again, he kicked and screamed and clutched the man again. Holding him close and whispering something in his ear. He told Sanzo something that day that would be forever lost. Everyone who knew the pair always would wonder what Goku had said, for after that day, Goku never shed another tear for Sanzo. He didn't become gloomy or de4pressed. He seemed just like his old self. As if nothing had happened.
No one would ever know. For two years, and five months later, Goku died.
At least, that's what everyone thought.
Sanzo never was a good student. All the teachers hated him; at least that's what he thought. They all said he had a bad attitude. He never talked much, handing in homework with a sneer. If anyone tried to help him, he would always roll his eyes and walk away, uncaring and cold. He didn't have much for friends either. The guidance consoler at Sanzo's high school had brought him in his office; afraid Sanzo's antisocial behavior was going to lead to worse mental consequences. Of course Sanzo had the same reply he always did, "I don't have friends because I hate people."
No one could get close to him. But because he had such an unusually high level of charisma, people always wanted to be near him. It annoyed him to no end. He just wanted people to leave him alone. But no matter how cold he was, people still talked to him, asking him things and wanting him to just be a part of their lives. It was annoying and sickening at the same time. Couldn't people just see he wanted to be left alone?
He was starting to think of life nothing more then a chore. High school was a joke. People were a joke. The only pleasures he found anymore were smoking and reading. His small sources of escape from everyday life. He read a lot. TV just didn't hold any sort of entertainment anymore. Especially any sort of sitcoms on now a days. They were just plain ridiculous and stupid. Couldn't people see that?
So he read. He read to escape his fucked-up household. His stupid father and even worse stepmother. They were simply horrible people. They didn't beat him, or steal from him, or make him do humiliating things, they were just stupid. Stupid and uncaring, often sending him to do things he would rather shoot himself then do. For example, go to a psychiatrist. They thought he was nuts.
Sighing, Sanzo found himself walking the usual route to get home. It was by no means the fastest, and he liked it that way. What did he have to go home to, anyway? A father that yelled endlessly, a mother that gambled away all their finances, and a house that smelt of liquor and sex. So he walked around his neighborhood, having no real destination in mind. That was a mistake. Before he knew where he was going, he found himself standing in front of a large wooded area. His neighborhood sat on the edge of the city, and to the south lay nothing but woodlands and wildlife. It had been a great escape as a child. He could disappear into the trees and wait until the sun had gone down, and with it the yelling and crying disappear for another day.
He gazed into the thick wooded area, simply staring, and deciding whether or not to head inside. He finally decided against it, and was about to turn when a soft voice caught his ears.
"Hey."
Turning, he glanced around for the owner of the voice, but found nothing. Finally, he glanced up, finding a young boy seated in a tree. He couldn't be more then thirteen with his small size. His brown hair was long, hanging down to his small waist. He wore a large, oversized sweatshirt and shorts, revealing tanned legs. He wore a bronzed headband, and held the most beautiful, and unnerving golden eyes Sanzo had ever set eyes on. He couldn't help but stare for a moment. He didn't know there were any more kids in his neighborhood. He had thought that he had been one of the youngest, as most new parents thought that part of the city was filled with drug-dealers and murderers. They weren't wrong. So he was slightly surprised to find the boy seated on the thick tree branches, swinging his legs back and forth with childlike delight.
"What do you want, brat?" Sanzo spat back with sudden dislike. He didn't know what it was about the boy, but he was somehow familiar.
And that pissed him off to no extent.
"Nuthin'," the boy replied, continuing to swing his legs. "I was just sitting here, waiting." A smile caught the boy's childish lips. A smile that the teenager found creepy. "But now that you're here, I guess everything's okay now." The boy hopped down from his perch, and stood in front of the blonde. He barely reached up to his collarbone.
Sanzo stared for a long time, before letting out a baffled, "What?"
"I was waiting for you," the boy said, smiling and swaying back and forth. "I was waiting for a long, long time. And now I finally found you." The grin seemed to stretch off the boundaries of his face.
Sanzo just stared.
There were so many things wrong with this kid. A sudden urge to hit him overcame him, but he forced it back. He didn't want the kid's parents attacking him because he hit their kid for no reason.
Well, he had a reason, the kid was creepy, and annoying, but his parents probably wouldn't like that.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Sanzo snapped. "I don't know you. Now leave me the hell alone." He turned; shoving his hands in his pockets and heading quickly back towards his house. His shoulder hunched over and a frown crossing his lips.
The boy behind him stood, not crestfallen but stubborn, and more then a little bit angry. "Are you going to make me wait again, Sanzo?"
Sanzo flipped around; suddenly shocked by the fact the kid suddenly knew his name. But as he gazed at the spot where the brat once stood, he found him gone. Sanzo muttered curses under his breath, turning and heading back towards his house.
But for the rest of the day he couldn't shake those bright golden eyes from the back of his mind.
The next few days dragged on. Finals were coming up soon, and everyone was studying hard. But Sanzo couldn't bring himself to. Every time he tried to focus, he found himself distracted by one thing or another. Finally, he gave up and decided that he would either bomb, or try again later. Sanzo understood the criteria, so he doubted he would fail. Not that it would matter much anyway.
For some reason, he was having haunting dreams. He kept seeing people he'd never met, places he'd never been. Every time he woke up, he found himself covering in sweat, shaking from whatever experience he'd found himself in. Battles with demons. Fighting and death. And a pair of golden eyes accompanied by a childish voice always screaming his name…
As he stepped out of school that Thursday afternoon, Sanzo found himself growing more and more aggravated. Seated on a bike rack outside the building was the same kid he'd met earlier. The same brown-haired brat that had both annoyed and scared him. He tried to walk past, hoping the boy wouldn't see him, but that was not to be. "Sanzo! Sanzo!" the boy raced after him, soft footsteps scrambling to keep up with him. He continued walking, hoping the boy would get he message and stop following. After several minutes, as this was not the case, he flipped around, practically grinding his teeth together in anger. Those golden eyes looked up at him, blinking innocently as ever. "Hi." The boy chirped. "How was school?"
"Leave me alone, you damned brat!" Sanzo practically yelled. "I'm not your friend. I don't know you. Leave me the hell alone."
He turned to head away again. He thought his yelling had worked, before the footsteps quickened to catch up with him once again. "Hey! Can we get something to eat, I'm starving!"
Sanzo flipped around once again, a growl forming in the back of his throat. "Look," he said. "I don't have any problems about hitting a kid. Now leave me alone."
The boy shook his head, grinning proudly. "Nope. You're stuck with me."
This boy just didn't get it! What was wrong with him?! Before he could stop himself, he sent his fist crashing down on the boy's head. The boy yelped, jumping back and cradling his sore spot. "Now stop following me!" Sanzo yelled, before turning to walk away.
He was relieved when the sounds of footsteps did not hurry to catch up with him.
Somehow though, his message had not gotten though. Everywhere he went he somehow found the boy following him. On weekends, he'd be waiting on his doorstep, grinning and waiting to play. After school he'd walk him home, chattering endlessly about whatever had caught his attention. Sanzo hated it. He yelled, he hit, but the boy would not leave his side. After a while he began to become accustomed to the boy's presence, and no longer tried t beat him off. The boy was too damned persistent. He wouldn't even bother.
A soft grumble came from behind him; Sanzo didn't even bother to glance over his shoulder. "I'm hungry," came the soft cry that followed.
"I don't care," came Sanzo's usually reply. However, he jingled the change in his pocket, finding he didn't want to go home just yet.
"Let's get something to eat!" he chimed again, hurrying to match Sanzo's long strides.
"Fuck off," somehow though, the two ended up going to a nearby fast food restaurant. The two had taken a seat in a nearby booth with their burgers and fries, though Sanzo was not really that hungry. Instead, he watched the boy practically devour a cheeseburger almost as big as his head. He watched, morbidly fascinated, as the small mouth managed to wrap around the large amount of meat and cheese.
"What's your name, anyway?" Sanzo asked curiously. The boy had only been following him for a week, but he hadn't even bothered to find out his name. Finally realizing he wasn't going anyway, Sanzo found it at least appropriate.
"Goku," the boy replied through mouthfuls.
"Hm," Sanzo replied, slowly eating a few fries with a very low appetite.
Goku finally placed down his burger, drinking from his pop. After a moment, he chose to speak. "I've been waiting for you for a long time, Sanzo."
"Mm," came Sanzo's unenthusiastic reply. Here with this again. Sanzo wanted to hit him again for bringing up such a stupid topic, but found he didn't want to have to lean over the table to do it.
"I have," Goku argued back childishly, his features creasing in stubbornness again. "And I'm not going to stop until you're my friend again. Got it?"
"Yeah, I got it," Sanzo replied, once again with no enthusiasm. Why didn't the brat just give up already? "But it's not going to happen."
"Why not?" Goku argued back childishly.
"Because I don't need friends."
"Everybody needs friends."
"Not me," Sanzo snapped.
Goku took a moment to collect his thoughts. "Allies then." He replied. "People who can watch your back. Who you can confide in. Everybody needs those."
"Hm."
"So can I be an ally?" Goku asked, cocking his head to the side in an adorable manner. Sanzo just found it annoying. "I promise to always protect you."
At this, Sanzo snorted. "I don't need people to protect me." He snapped, standing. "Just leave me alone, you stupid monkey." He would wonder where the insult had come from later, but for now h simply turned, stalking from the table in a fit of rage. Like he needed some kid to protect him. Ridiculous! He glanced over his shoulder once he reached the door, finding the boy grinning happily as he reached over for Sanzo's untouched burger.
Idiot.
Sanzo had never really been bullied. Never really had trouble with it. He had been beaten up a few times when he was a kid because of the odd color of his eyes, but besides that he never really had trouble with it.
Until now.
He had stayed after school for longer then normal, catching up on forgotten homework. He didn't mind doing extra work, as long as it meant he didn't have to go home. So as he packed all his books up, and headed for the door, he wasn't surprised to find most of the teachers had already gone home. When he headed out the front door, he was relieved to find Goku not at his usual post by the bike rack.
So he headed towards home.
He didn't get far before a hand grabbed him from behind. He was flipped around, coming face-to-face with a man probably a few years older then him. Behind him were several more men, all holding weapons of some sort. "Hey, punk, give us all your money and we might let you go unharmed."
Sanzo gazed with a bored expression to the men behind him, then back to the man with the hand on his shoulder. "Let me go," Sanzo said coldly.
"Don't talk to me like that!" the man yelled, readying his knife. "I could run you through right now!"
Sanzo knew it probably wasn't the smartest idea, but he punched the man straight to the face. He had too much pride to be pushed around. Her realized the stupidity of the act when a gun was revealed and the trigger pulled. White-hot blinding pain exploded from his left arm, and he clutched it, managing to give out a strangled cry of pain. The next second he felt a powerful punch to his middle, and he was thrown against a brick wall. Sanzo's head cracked against the hard wall, and he felt his vision fail him. He crumpled to the ground, dimly aware of the surrounding men.
"Sanzo!!"
That voice, he thought, it was so familiar. So shockingly familiar to those strange dreams that always left him confused and disoriented. A second later he pried his eyes open, blinking dots away from his vision, just in time to see Goku's small form smack a kick across a face. Then another. He was a blinding blur of fury and kicks. Was this really happening? He heard a gunshot, and his heart jumped into his throat. He had to get up! Was Goku hurt? He hated how suddenly worried he was for the brat. But he couldn't—wouldn't—allow anyone to be killed for his sake.
He felt small hands on his shoulders and he forced his eyes open, meeting shocking familiar Golden orbs. They were creased with worry. "Are you okay Sanzo? Did they hurt you too bad?"
Sanzo let out a growl—relieved that the boy was okay but annoyed that he had to be rescued. "You stupid monkey," he hissed, eyes only holding half their usual roughness.
A small boyish laugh then followed. "Yeah, I am," Goku then rested his forehead against Sanzo's, much to the blonde's annoyance. He let out a shaky, relieved sigh. "I was scared though. I thought I was going to lose you again," he took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. "I promise, Sanzo, I won't leave you alone again. I promise to stay by your side, even if you hate me for it."
And then, as if some god hated them both, it began to rain.
Goku could only laugh at the irony, his eyes fixated on Sanzo as the man fought to stand up. "C'mon Sanzo, we should go call an ambulance. We don't want them to have to cut off your whole arm."
Sanzo stared at the boy, leaning heavily on the wall next to him. His eyes soaked in the image of Goku's small form, brown bangs pasted to his face, his large sweatshirt slipping off his right shoulder. He looked like a child. An idiotic child caught out in the rain. And that was exactly what he was. "Why?" Sanzo breathed. "Why do you want me as your friend? Why do you keep following me everywhere?"
"Because," Goku replied. "I made a promise." And then, Goku took Sanzo's right hand in his, and led him to the closets store.
As the pair walked inside the warmth of a nearby clothes store, Sanzo instinctively knew that Goku was far from through with him. And as much as he hated to admit it, he was slightly glad.
Blood. Blood was everywhere. On his hands, his pants, his shirt, everywhere. It was Sanzo's blood. He was covered in Sanzo's blood. He didn't cause those injuries, but he might as well have. He cradled Sanzo's head in his lap, rocking back and forth. "What… what am I supposed to do without you?" he whispered hoarsely.
"Wait for me," and then Sanzo was dead. Wait for him? What did he mean? Wait until he was reincarnated? How long would that take? Hundreds of years? For Sanzo thought, Goku knew that he was worth it. He would wait until the end of time if there was a chance to see his sun again.
It hurt. As he cradled Sanzo's lifeless form, eh could feel the everlasting hole that burned into his soul. It hurt so much he could've rolled over and died. He tried to steady his breath though, throwing Gojyo and Hakkai away as he continued to clutch to his lifeless savior. The savior he had failed to save.
"I promise," Goku whispered delicately. "I promise to wait. I'll wait forever, Sanzo. So please, come back soon."
A/N: I started this at about 11:30 at night and finished at 2:30. So I understand if it's crap and Sanzo's OOC. But I have to work tomorrow and I only get limited amount of writing time. So I did what I could. I could see this turning into about a three-four chapter story, maybe longer. I might, depending on what reviewers say. It would of course be Yaoi, and probably pretty sad. Anyway, if no one wants it, then I'll just leave it a one-shot. Please review and tell me your thoughts.