Lesson 1: The grandeur entrance

Disclaimer
As much as I'd like to deny this fact, I actually don't own the series Ouran High School Host Club or any of the characters. Isn't it obvious? I mean, if I did own this great project, then they'd have put down the name 'Natsu' as the creator instead of ' Hatori Bisco '. Another reason for it is that if I did own Ouran, then you wouldn't be greeted by the seven hosts that we all love oh-so-much, because I would have hidden them in my bishie closet instead of sharing them with the world. Yes, I'm just that selfish.
I also do not own Fruits Basket. Seeing as how this is sort of/somewhat/somehow a crossover, I might as well make a pointless statement and say that that I don't own this series either. Nope nope. Although I do wish that Momiji and Akito were mine.
Oh, I could rant on and on about why I don't own either of the series alright, but seeing as how you might lose interest in reading the fic over it, I'll stop and let you continue on with the Author's Note.

Author's Note
Ah, so I get to speak again now don't I? Well, it's about time we get to this part! Who was the baka that took so long babbling at the Disclaimer section anyways?! She ought to be ashamed of herself I tell ya!
So anyways, this is how I got my inspiration of this piece of work: I all of a sudden remembered Takouji Shirou yesterday. That little boy who's made his first appearance in episode 6? The one that asks Tamaki to teach him how to become a great host then gets categorized under the 'Mischievous Type' by Rengé? Well, I got inspired by that kid's attitude of wanting to take up hosting lessons with the club. Yup, that's right. Although his intention in the first place was a bit wrong, but I liked that idea of his. I mean, who wouldn't want to become a host if they were given the chance to, right? So why not let the host club members of Ouran Private Academy teach all of us commoners here how to wrench squeals and giggles out of those beautiful girls, eh? Mm, I believe that Suou Tamaki, the Host King, would be winking at this point if he were the one making the statement, but I won't do so myself, since I have no particular talent (Nor interest.) in this area, and so, on with the story!

--

It was another bright and lovely morning on the campus of Ouran High School, and strangely enough, it looked as if everybody was busy hovering over whatever it was that was keeping them all occupied.

Why on Earth would spoiled rich bastards such as this bunch get busy over things you ask? Well, it was simply because there has been a rumour for months now, that there was going to be a special event tonight that was to be held at the most popular club in Ouran High: the host club. And that event, as many have interpreted, would be a lecture that was to be presented...Well, lecture-styled, which would be taught by the seven beautiful hosts themselves.

Many Ouranians had thought that it was a wonderful idea that would help to lighten up their boring lives, seeing as rich bastards like themselves had nothing to do other than sitting around drinking tea and such; even if they had flunked a course, it would not have been a big deal to them because after all, they were the successors of their parents' companies.

So with that thought in mind, that was how our story would begin. But before we get down to business, you must all have a thorough understanding of the kind of lectures that they were going to hold here at the host club. First of all, the lecturers themselves have absolute rights in inviting anyone they thought would be the best kind of guests that their customers would like to see. And second, no one, not one single person, was to poke fun, nor talk behind the backs of the special guests that the hosts have invited; anyone who crosses the line will be automatically kicked off of the host club customers list, with or without warning. Thirdly, any form of hugging, seducing, or sweet talking to the guests who had the opposite sex as yourself were to be strictly prohibited. Ignore what they have told you about how it would bring shame to the school if the precious guests got bad impressions on Ouran High. There was a real reason behind the no-seducing rule of course, one that, I believe, all of you readers out there have already guessed.

If you still have no clue as to what on Earth this authoress here is babbling about, then, for your information, the guests of honor that have been invited by the Host King himself just so happened to be those of the Sohma family. You know, the Sohma family? The one family that contained members who have not only emotional issues but physical issues as well?

So anyways, as I was saying, every female student on campus was currently busily occupying themselves with stuff such as squealing over the host club members, who were giving out a short onstage commercial-like propaganda, which was used to lure the females in joining on their afternoon lecture mind you, at the moment with mountains of different coloured roses displayed in front of them in order to bring out their sexiness.

Everything was going well in peace and harmony (The kind of peace and harmony that you would expect from Ouran High, by the way.) till a random shriek was all of a sudden heard as a yellow fluff bounced through the hallway, followed by a huge group consisted of bishounens and bishoujos who were obviously all chasing after the cuddly bunny itself.

One of them bishounens, the one with the orange mop of hair, bellowed at the bunny who, for some strange reason, seemed to be slapping its own butt and sticking out its pink tongue, squealing something that sounded very much like the good old 'nah nah nah nah nah' song. Maybe it was just my eyes; animals can't do these things after all. Not ordinary animals, anyways.

The boy that was standing the farthest away from the rest of the hosts pushed up the spectacles that were sliding down his nose. The glasses reflected off some light sources nearby, giving him more of a cold and mysterious look than ever.

"I believe that our guests have just arrived." the sophomore stated calmly, without even looking up from his scribbling to inspect the noises around him.

Oh, you could say that it was really too bad how the hosts have not been warned beforehand about the little...conditions, that the Sohmas all have. They probably would have thought twice before sending out the invitations if they had known about the situation. However, they were not notified. And judging from the mass of crowd, it looked like that the whole entire Juunishi group has arrived.

The only ones that were not participating in the chasing game were the older members of the Sohma family. An example would be Sohma Shigure.

Now, Shigure wasn't a pervert or anything, he was just...Oh what the heck, he was a pervert. Just look at him, ogling at the fangirls, who were now admiring over the fact that he was a romance novelist, not realizing that he was really too old for them.

The half woman half man...creature, with the white shiny hair that stood beside the inu pulled out a hanky as it stared at the perverted dog having an affair with women. The creature itself clung its snake fangs into the silk of the poor hanky in a dramatic way. "How could you do this to me, Gure?" said the hebi as his golden eyes flooded with tears.

That act of Ayame's gave six of the hosts there the creeps, and they were suddenly reminded of the creator of their absolutely pointless club, who was now marveling over the hebi's monologue while scribbling at top speed in his borrowed black notebook.

Since the authoress has sort of forgotten about the bunny-chasing bunch, she shall now lead you back to the scene.

--

The singing bunny had to stop bouncing around once he has reached the stage platform that was over-flooded with a crowd of giggling girls. So he simply stood in front of the stage until the boy with the silver hair, of whom every single fangirl was now swooning over in the manner that reminded him very much of his own fan club, picked up the yellow fur ball.

Without so much as a word, the centre of attention excused himself with the bunny in his hands, walking down the path that they have taken before.

"Baka nezumi..." the lead bunny-chaser looked at the shadow of the leaving boy and spat out the words with disgust. No reason to explain why he has said that, really. Since when has Kyou said something that made sense to everybody anyways, know what I mean?

"Kyou-kun!" the girl that has been glued to the orange-head said in a singsong manner and snuggled up against him, "Is this school not wonderful? Kyou-kun? Their uniforms are just soooooo cute! And the girls here are so friendly; I've already exchanged phone numbers with one of them too!"

All of a sudden, again, a high power machine under the school ground was heard, along with a hail of 'ho ho ho's. Want to guess who it might be?...No?...I thought so.

A chestnut-haired girl with pink ribbons tied at the back of her head twirled up standing on the moveable stage and before the machine could fully place itself, she has already jumped off of her original standing, running toward our favorite boar in slow-motion, sparkle-sparkle-sparkled as she was doing so.

"Kaguraaaaaaa-chaaan!" the onna-otaku sighed out the name with great pleasure as she dramatically ran up to the other girl.

The boar extended her own two arms, welcoming the girl that has just exchanged phone numbers with her.

It was quite clear that the onna-otaku had wanted to hug the neko instead of the same kind of fangirl as herself, but after much thinking, she decided that she would best follow the Ouran hosting lecture rule number three: Never hug the special guests that were of the opposite gender as yourself. Who knows what the authoress has up her sleeves to punish those who do not listen to her babbling.

Anyways, during this moment of the shared hugging between the two girls, all Kyou could do was to ponder, yes he pondered, over when on Earth Kagura has turned into a lesbian?! After he has rejected her, perhaps? Although Akito obviously could not care less about the boar, but this would just be as great an excuse as it is for her to play the game of torture with her most hateful 'monster'. Oh, what great fun!

Alright, enough nonsense. Let us now look at how the group on the other side of the stage was doing.

--

"Hey Ootori," a bossy kid voice called out from beside the stage platform, "Ootori Kyouya, right?"

The Shadow King looked down beside him, and saw a child with nut-coloured hair staring into his eyes. The kid, to Kyouya at least, was somehow the perfect combination between Shirou and the Hitachiin twins; the overbearing little devil type.

"Ya got anything to eat here?" the Sohma child continued on, glaring at Kyouya as if he has been offended, "God this school is weird. Why is it so huge anyways?! Well, not that I'm asking you because stupid people like you will never understand such things. But anyways, just so you losers know, it wasn't my fault, nor was it Kisa's, that we have taken so long in meeting up with you idiots. We got lost once we have entered this frigging retarded school because a certain someone needed to go to the washroom. Oh don't fret, Ritsu, I'm not blaming everything on you." the sweet little angel finished with an innocent smile.

A long haired 21-year-old 'female' spun around at the mentioning of 'her' name. To everybody's (other than the Sohma clan) surprise, 'her' hazel eyes swelled up with tears, as 'she' knelt down before the Host King, who was obviously stunned by 'her' reaction seeing as how his jaw has just dropped onto the floor. The 'woman' named Ritsu then inhaled hastily and...In...

Three...

Two...

One...

"GOOO-MEEEE-N NAAAAA-SA-IIIIIIIIII!!! I'm so sorry Hiro-kun and everybody else! I should have known better than to use the restroom in a place that I'm not familiar with! I should have realized that we should never have kept the wonderful hosts waiting! Oh I must now beat myself with...This stuffed bunny!"

Ritsu grabbed the pink plushie from Honey and started hitting 'her' own head with it, much to the tiny host's dismay.

"I-it's okay, Ritsu." the little girl that was standing beside Hiro held out a hand to comfort the ballistic 'woman'.

"Yes, please do not worry, Ritsu," said the rice ball, soothing the monkey along with the first girl. "Everything will be fine. And...Please return the bunny to its owner..." she added in a mutter.

The 'woman' inched closer toward the two girls and screamed into their faces, "Ohhhhh I'm so sorry for letting you waste oxygen in talking to me! I should have stopped you before you told me something that I don't even deserve to hear! Will you ever forgive me?!" just as the girls were about to nod happily and answer 'yes', the 'woman' changed her mind. "On second thought, no! Somebody like me should never be forgiven and should never be allowed to continue on living because I always make people worry about me without consideration!...GOOOO-MEEEE-N N-AAAAAAAAA-SAAA-IIIIIIIIIII-I!!!!" Ritsu continued on with the self-torture using Honey's poor Usa-chan.

'She' then realized that she should never have stolen Usa-chan to beat 'herself' with and turned to the strawberry blonde, attacking him with another hail of 'gomen nasai's, which caused the tiny host to immediately get into his loli-shota mode. With tears in his eyes, he grabbed onto his silent cousin's black trousers. Pointing at the monkey before him, he shuddered, "Takashi, kowai yo... " which got Ritsu into an absolutely violent continuation on how sorry 'she' was to have frightened Honey.

By now, the fangirls that were involved in this event were all covering their ears, some screaming in pain along with the monkey while some started to leave.

"Wait princesses!" the Host King hopped off the stage with all his elegancy and grabbed an arm of a nearby girl, "You must join us during this afternoon's show! Please promise me this."

However, the super sonic Ritsu bomb was way too much for the host club customers to take, so they all turned around with tears in their eyes as a dramatic parting music started to sound in the background, along with Ritsu's storm of 'gomen nasai's.

Five seconds later, not one single fangirl was left. Even the woman that addresses herself as the manageress of the host club was nowhere to be found.

Tamaki fell onto his knees in front of the still howling Ritsu and turned into the most majestic stone statue of the century.

"Not to worry," it seemed like the Shadow King was the only person at the scene who was calm enough to have said such a thing. "The charm of both the host club and its almighty special guests is too luring for our customers, so they will most definitely pay for the entrance fees of the afternoon show." he said with a snicker. Pushing up his spectacles, Kyouya left his friends and guests of honor behind, and began walking back to the third music room.

It was at this moment, that the rest of the host club has finally realized what a huge mistake they have made; they should never have trusted the Shadow King and his plan of presiding the Ouran High School Host Class.

--

Author's Note
I seriously had no idea what I was ranting about when I was typing this...Ugh ugh...
GOOOO-MEE-N NAAAAA-SAAAAAA-IIII!!!
Ahem, anyways. All I can do now is to ask for you all to please review. I really look forward in reading whatever it is that you want to tell me about this fanfic; you like it or you hate it? It's that simple. Romantic spice between who and who? Forcing a certain character to play what game? Ah, the fun never ends...
Oh, and...Just give me an idea as to whether I should continue on with this piece of nonsense, because if there aren't at least 7 reviews from 7 different people, then I'll probably give up on the fic, or update it after a lonnnnnnng while.
Ne, domo arigato desu. XD