An ANBU-style Hogwarts Christmas

Annamarie Couch

"Sa-su-ke," Naruto whined, shivering under his cloak, "It's cold!"

Sasuke, who was also shivering, glared, "And what do you expect me to do about it, Usuratonkachi?"

"I don't know," Naruto grumbled and pouted childishly.

"It's not that cold out," Harry protested, pulling on a sweater before covering it with his school robes.

"It's cold!" Naruto sneezed for emphasis, despite the fact that thanks to the Kyuubi he cannot get sick.

"It hasn't even snowed yet," said Dean.

"There's no ice outside," agreed Seamus.

"I don't even think it's below zero," added Ron.

Oh, the boys were having fun teasing their ANBU guard. They knew from Naruto's stories – since Sasuke wouldn't talk long enough to tell anything interesting – that the country they came from was called the Fire Country for good reason. Due to the intense thermal heat from a ring of surrounding volcanoes they were kept in a perpetual summer heat. It never snowed in Konoha, Naruto had admitted readily. The first time either ANBU had even seen the crystallized precipitation had been on a winter mission to Water Country and then again in the Snow Country.

Naruto had decided then that he hated snow. It was cold and wet. The fox in him protested the very idea! Snow. It's unnatural! Unfortunately both he and Sasuke were now stuck in the depths of a British winter that they had to suffer through.

"Hey, tomorrow's the start of Christmas break,"

Naruto looked up, "Christmas break? You get a break?"

"Obviously, Dobe," Sasuke grouched irritably, "Why else would they be talking about it?"

"I'm not a dobe, you jerk," Naruto growled, trying to shake his fist at Sasuke from underneath his cloak. Sasuke smirked, smugly. He loved getting a rise out of his friend. It was just so easy to do!

"Why wouldn't we get a break?" Dean asked. Naruto blinked at him.

"Well, don't you have classes? Do the teachers get a break too?" he asked, leaning forwards on his bedroll, dislodging a fox that had curled up on his shoulder. The ball of fur gave him a wounded look before relocating herself on his lap.

"Of course," all the boys nodded.

"Why? Don't you get Christmas breaks back where you come from?" asked Ron.

The ANBU shrugged. "More often than not we're working then," Sasuke smirked and quipped, "Wonderful time to knock off greedy politicians while their sauced to the gills,"

"Sasuke!" Naruto punched him in the arm, frowning, "You don't have to scar the poor kids, you know,"

"You do assassinations?" Seamus asked, awed.

"We're ANBU. That's what it means," Naruto sighed, shooting Sasuke a dark look.

"ANBU means assassin?" Dean tilted his head to a side and stared at them.

"No. ANBU is an acronym for Ansatsu Senjutsu Tokushu Butai. We're not assassins, per se. It's only one facet of what we do,"

"So you are assassins,"

"Only when we get a contract," Sasuke corrected and stretched lazily.

"Cool!" all the boys said together. Sasuke and Naruto both hitched up an eyebrow.

"You think so? Do any of you know what it is like to take a human life? To feel their very soul depart from this world and fade into the afterlife? To have the blood of your victim spray you in the face, getting into your eyes and mouth, staining your hands and clothing?" Naruto asked levelly with uncharacteristic seriousness.

The boys had paled nicely enough to match the castle's ghosts.

"We thought not," Sasuke snorted.

"It's not 'cool,' it's an unfortunate facet of this world and if I could go the rest of my life doing my job without having to kill another person on contract or self defense I would be very happy,"

An uncomfortable silence descended. Well, the British boys felt uncomfortable. Sasuke and Naruto ignored the ominous cloud over the room, Naruto trimming his fingernails with a kunai and Sasuke shining up his cat mask, idly noting where the white glaze finish was wearing off. Dean shifted uncomfortably, looking like he was going to say something but thought better of it. Seamus glanced over at Harry and Ron, who were still staring at the ANBU pair as if they had started oozing rancid green slime from their very pores.

"What?" Naruto asked the room in general, innocently blinking ever so slowly, "I take it that none of you know what that feels like?"

They shook their heads.

"Lucky you," Sasuke murmured.

"But hey!" Naruto clapped his hands, "You guys have a holiday to look forward to! Cheer up!"


"Wow! Sasuke look!" Naruto pressed his face against the frosted glass of a window that looked over the school grounds, "It's snowing!"

"I can see that," Sasuke sniffed, not moving from his position on the other side of the corridor.

"Have you ever seen snow before, Naruto?" Hermione asked.

Naruto nodded, "Twice. Three times now. Although I have to admit it's a lot prettier when you don't have to camp in it,"

"Pretty," Sasuke sighed, despairing, "I am constantly in awe of your sheer willful optimism, Dobe,"

"If it's pretty then why waste energy pretending it's not?" Naruto laughed.

"Waste energy ogling it then,"

"It's more fun my way," he turned his nose up at Sasuke. Sasuke smirked. Naruto was such a child when he felt like ignoring someone.

"We should have a snowball fight!" Ron suggested.

"A snowball fight?" Naruto tilted his head to one side, his blond hair slipping over his shoulder, "What's that?"

"Uh..." the British students exchanged a glance.

Sasuke rolled his eyes, "A mock battle with balls of snow, obviously, Usuratonkachi,"

Naruto tilted his head to the other side, folding his arms and frowning, "Are the snowballs like bombs or kunai?"

"No..." Harry said slowly, "They're just balls of snow,"

Naruto's frown increased, "What's the fun in that?"

"It's a game," Hermione explained, "It's not supposed to be dangerous,"

"They're not?"

"Dobe," Sasuke sighed, "They're not shinobi."

Naruto shrugged and let the subject go.

"So? Do you want to have a snowball fight?" Ron pressed, grinning.

"We don't have classes," Hermione said practically.

"Sounds like fun," Harry agreed.

"Ha!" Naruto struck a dramatic pose, "A battle it is then!"

"And the Dobe will be a team all unto himself," Sasuke grinned evilly.

Naruto faltered, "What? You're not going to help me out here?"

Sasuke shook his head slowly, loving how Naruto was taking it. The jinchuuriki of Konohagakure, Captain of the elite ANBU division looked as lost as a puppy. Or rather, in Naruto's case, a fox kit.

"But Sa-su-ke!" Naruto whined.

"Scared?" Sasuke challenged. Naruto's back when ramrod straight.

"Not a chance!" he denied vehemently.

"Then what's your problem?"

Naruto frowned and turned away, "Sasuke's just so mean," he said, huffing indignantly.

"Whatever Dobe," Sasuke affected boredom and sauntered down the hall, leading the way to the closest exit that their charges would be able to use without killing themselves. First floor exits, so boring. So... pre-academy. Sasuke shook his head, laughing inwardly. Ah, civilians and their boring lives.


"So," Naruto huddled down into a comfortable niche by a window, "What is this Christmas thing anyways?"

Sasuke looked over at his friend, frowning, "You mean you really don't know?"

"It's not like I had anyone tell me these things growing up," the jinchuuriki growled, "Would I be asking if I already knew?"

"Alright, alright," Sasuke held up a placating hand, "You want me to explain? Well, let's see... as far as I know it's supposed to be a Christian celebration of the birth of their God's son. People give other people gifts and generally try to have a good time. It's not really something that caught on big back home,"

"Oh," Naruto rested his chin on his knees and thought, "That's why they're so excited about it."

"That and they don't have classes," Sasuke nodded.

"Lots of the kids have left the school. Do you think they've gone back to be with their families?"

"Probably,"

"Oh." Naruto scanned the occupants of the common room thoughtfully. "Lucky them," he murmured.

Sasuke agreed inwardly but with a pang of pity for his friend. Naruto had never known the love of a family. At least Sasuke had memories to keep him warm through the night. All Naruto had were fleeting moments salted sparsely in a sea of distrust and icy hate. Perhaps this Christmas experience would be a good one for Naruto.


A fox's bark woke most of the boys in the dormitory. Someone threw a wadded up sock at the poor animal. It missed, of course, but that was not the point. The fox dodged, jumping onto Naruto's chest. The jinchuuriki cracked open a azure eye, regarded the fox, closed his eye and sighed.

"Morning, is it?" he asked. The fox barked again. "Where are the others?" he got a purr as an answer. "Ah. And Sasuke says it's my turn?" the fox tugged on Naruto's blankets, exposing him to the chilly air. Naruto's eyes flew open, "Fine! I'm up! Get outta here you!" he shooed the furry creature off, sitting up and groping around for his daywear. "I hate the cold," he complained. He, of course, had no clothing suited to such temperatures as the entire school was being subjected to. And according to the natives it was only going to get worse. At least being host to a kitsune like Kyuubi meant that he couldn't catch a chill no matter how cold he got.

He got dressed and armed – not that he hadn't been when he was sleeping he just equipped himself with more weapons now. Sasuke appeared at the door and Naruto waved him into bed. Once Sasuke had rolled himself into Naruto's still warm bedroll Naruto created a handful of clones and sent them out around the castle and grounds.

Now to procure himself some food!

The kitchens really weren't that difficult to find, what with his nose and training combined. The house elves had given him a turn when he first came across one, but they were harmless so he ignored them, never mind the Notice-Me-Not spell on them.

When Naruto reached the kitchens he was accosted by a swarm of the compulsively helpful creatures. They pressed food on him until he almost couldn't carry any more. He thanked them and left them to do their jobs. Now laden with enough food to last both Sasuke and himself for a good two or three days if they did not gorge themselves, he made his way back to the Gryffindor tower.

Sasuke was still asleep – no surprise there, since he had been up the better part of the night. What did surprise Naruto was that most of the boys who had stayed at Hogwarts for the break were awake as well.

"What're you guys doing up so early?" Naruto asked. It wasn't even dawn yet.

Harry pointed at the fox that had been dogging Naruto's heels. "He woke up us up getting you up,"

Naruto looked down, "Did you get them up too?" he asked, making most of the boys look at him oddly. The fox barked sharply, sounding suspiciously like a laugh. Naruto sighed. "Sorry about that guys, my bad, I guess,"

"What time is it, anyways?" Ron complained.

"Uh... a couple hours before dawn, I think," Naruto hazarded a guess. "Early for you guys, right?"

"Too early," Harry sighed, "I'm going back to bed,"

"Me too," Ron yawned.

"See you in a couple hours!" Naruto waved as they trooped back upstairs. He settled himself down next to the fire, as close as he could get without burning his clothing, and started in on the food he had gotten. His mind wandered through all the things that had happened the past few days. He pulled out his report and checked it over once more. The old lady was picky when it came to his reports. Ha! Like his writing was any worse than the next persons.

Well, alright, maybe there was the off chance that it was...

He spotted a spelling mistake. Not much, thank goodness, just a kanji that was missing a line. He pulled out his brush and ink and corrected the error. Better he find it now than have to rewrite it all when she sent it back with Itachi.

Speaking of the Eldest Uchiha...

"Good morning Naruto-san,"

"Hello Itachi," Naruto rolled up the scroll and turned to smile at his partner's brother. "How're the kids doing?"

"Well enough," he shrugged.

"How's the Village?"

"The usual,"

"How're you doing?"

"The same as always,"

"You know," Naruto huffed, "Sasuke's more interesting to talk to than you are,"

"Not my fault," Itachi smirked.

"You could at least try to make conversation," Naruto sighed, "I got the report. Was just reading it over again when you showed up. Sasuke's upstairs asleep. Have something to eat, I just picked it up. And I have a favor to ask of you,"

Itachi raised an eyebrow, "Ah?"

"Yeah," Naruto scribbled something down on a slip of paper, "I need you to do some shopping for me,"

"Shopping?"

"Yeah, and if you could get it back in a day or two, no later please, that would be great," he handed the note to Itachi. The other shinobi read it over quickly, his eyebrow raising even more.

"Dare I ask?"


The morning of the day of Christmas dawned far too early for any sane person's tastes. Unfortunately children of any age are rarely sane. And so it was that Naruto was awakened to his first Christmas celebration.

"Merry Christmas, Dobe," Sasuke greeted when Naruto appeared, disheveled and confused, in the common room, "Taking a day off are we?"

"Bite me, Jerk!" Naruto glowed, blinking rapidly.

"Catch!" Sasuke chucked a long box at his Captain's head. Naruto caught it out of pure reflex and stared at it dumbly. After a full minute Sasuke gave up waiting. "You're supposed to open it, Idiot,"

"I know that!" Naruto snapped, dragging himself out of his morning haze of unusually thick stupidity. Then he paused suddenly, looking up. "Wait here," he said, dashing back into the dorm room and rifling through his bag. He found the package Itachi had brought him the day before and dashed back down. He thrust it into Sasuke's hands with a short "Here you go,"

Sasuke's eyebrow lifted and he glanced between Naruto and the package. Both men opened their respective gifts at the same time. Naruto's eyes widened as he reverently pulled out a superbly crafted, blackened kodachi. He tested the balance, pulling it from its lacquered sheath and twirling it around a bit. Some of the boys watched, amazed at the skill he had with handling the mid-sized sword.

"Woah, Sasuke, thanks!" he grinned, "It's the perfect match to my other one!"

"That's why I had Itachi pick it up, Dobe," Sasuke shrugged, flicking away the last bit of wrapping on his gift. He finished opening the box and stilled. "Naruto?" he said slowly.

"Yeah?" Naruto smiled.

Sasuke reached into the box and pulled out a piece of folded cloth. He flipped the cloth open revealing dozens of long, wire thin senbon. The fighting needles sparkled in the morning light innocently. Sasuke plucked one out and examnined it carefully, holding it up to the light and then testing the sharpness on on his thumb. Blood beaded where he had pricked the deadly needle into his callused skin.

"You like?"

"Wow," Sasuke said slowly, "How much did these cost you?" he knew good weaponry when he saw it. The make of the senbon was so fine that they would fly through the air like a breath. The pale, matte finish on the metal would mask their presence in any lighting.

"None of your business," Naruto sniffed, feeling pretty proud that he had managed to make Sasuke feel even an iota of positive amazement. "Although they told me that they will even cut through stone, if the stone's not too thick,"

"Really?" Sasuke flicked his wrist and the senbon vanished. Naruto tilted his head to the side the moment he saw Sasuke move and the needle appeared lodged into the stone an inch from where his head had been. Sasuke grinned. "I like. Thanks,"

"Not a problem," Naruto wrenched the senbon out of the stone wall and handed it back. "Merry Christmas, Jerk. Don't kill me with those, would you?"

"Like I could," Sasuke grinned wickedly.

"Feel like trying these babies out?"


"Why is it that everything they do always leads to a fight?" Ron asked Harry as they rubbed their hands up and down their arms to keep themselves warm. Sasuke and Naruto were flitting in and out of normal human vision. Bright red drops and sprays of crimson blood stained the snow where they had garnered 'points' in this friendly match.

Friendly my foot! Harry thought to himself. Those two look like they're out for blood!

Which they had already spilled...

"I have no idea," Harry admitted, "I think it might be because they have to keep themselves trained and whatnot even though there isn't much for them to fight here. They are pretty high up where they come from, after all,"

"I don't think I could live like that," Ron grimaced, "So much exercise,"

Harry laughed, "Yeah, but you have to admit that it looks awesome! To be able to do all those spell without needing a wand,"

"Jutsu, not spells," corrected Hermione compulsively.

"Whatever," Harry shrugged, "It's still really very cool,"

"I wonder how they do it," the bookworm mused thoughtfully. "The jutsus, that is,"

"I asked Naruto once," Harry said, "He gave me this really long explanation about something called chakra and some other things that I really didn't understand,"

"Chakra?" Hermione frowned, thinking, "I haven't heard of... wait! I Have heard of that before. It's a Buddhist thing I believe. They called the energies in the human body chakra. We're supposed to have seven release points, all up and down the middle of our bodies,"

"Say what?" Ron looked lost.

"Never mind Ron,"

"So chakra means energy?" Harry shrugged, "That makes sense now..."


Naruto was reluctant to see the end of this new holiday. He could not remember a time when he had had more fun, even if it was absurdly cold outside. Unfortunately all good things must come to an end, or so they say, and following that adage the students were soon trickling back from home and filling the castle once more. He and Sasuke settled back into the routine they had developed over the months before, falling into place as if they had been doing the same every day of their lives.

With a sigh the Captain of the ANBU division covered his face with his white porcelain fox mask and tugged the hood of his cape up to cover his bright yellow hair. Back to work, back to routine, back to another step in the road to rukudaimei hokage. It sounded so... pointless sometimes...

But the unfamiliar weight of a second kodachi at his side made the jinchuuriki smile softly under his mask.

There was a silver lining to every job, some were just easier to see than others.

6