For the reviewer 'Ctina' - John isn't always a douche bag LOL. He does want to try and make it work. Raz's mother is a bit of a wankstain though LMAO! ;)

~SherbetStick..x

Chapter 6

Raz was so caught up in her thoughts of the past that she didn't hear John call her name or even come back out onto the patio until he stood in front of her.

"I called your name a few times. Where did you go?"

"Go?" She looked at him blankly.

"In your mind. You had the faraway look in your eyes."

"Did I?"

John took her hand in his. "Tell me, Z. Don't shut me out."

Raz stared down at her hand enveloped in his. She could feel the warmth radiating through her. She thought about telling him the truth, even framed the words in her mind but she couldn't say them.

She still had no idea how he knew about her pregnancy. Neither of them had brought it up again. But she desperately wanted to know how he'd found out. Yet, she couldn't ask him. The subject was too painful.

"I...I was thinking about getting to work on the rooms. Maybe tomorrow I'll go out and see what I can find around here."

John knew she was lying. He watched her eyes flicker away from his and annoyance crept along his veins. Why wouldn't she just trust him enough to let him in?

He let it slide this time. Something about the glimmer in her eyes said she was ready to break out in tears at any moment and he didn't want to upset her.

XxxXxxX

Razeena spent the next day out shopping for furniture. She picked up some catalogues and decided to order everything once she was sure what she wanted.

When John got home, he found her in the empty room upstairs that had yet to be decorated. When he'd first bought the house, he'd intended for it to be a guest room. Now, however, he noticed it would be just the perfect size for a nursery.

Before he could say anything, Raz turned around and jumped when she realised there was someone standing right behind her.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you." John spoke softly.

He saw her wipe away a tear that had managed to escape down her cheek. He wondered if she'd been thinking the same as him: that this room would be perfect as a nursery.

"Hi. I, uh...I was just thinking about ideas for this room. Do you have any preferences?"

She looked down at the brochures in her hands and fiddled with the pages, as if she was looking for something.

John stepped closer to her and lifted her face to meet his. This time his kiss was gentle. He took his time exploring her mouth. When he felt her respond, he took the brochures from her hand, dropped them to the floor and then led her to the bedroom.

Gently, he laid her down on the bed, before pulling off his t-shirt. John locked eyes with Raz and held them as he continued undressing. Then he moved towards the bed and began removing her clothes, all the while showering her with soft kisses.

His mouth made her entire body come to life. She felt things in places she thought she'd never be able to again as John moved inside her.

Later, as he drifted to sleep holding her in his embrace, Razeena's mind couldn't rest. She thought about the future. John wanted a child. He only wanted her as a means to make that happen. What would happen if it didn't? Would she have a place in his life once he found out the truth?

He'd made it perfectly clear to her that he wasn't interested in a long-term commitment. Raz couldn't blame him for feeling like that considering the bitter break-up they'd experienced. She was living a lie but she couldn't help herself. Being in his arms again was somehow helping her to lay the past to rest.

She only hoped he would forgive her when he found out the truth.

Razeena wondered what had happened to Lauren. Had John had a brief affair with her and then moved on or was she still waiting in the wings somewhere?

Raz turned to stare at the wall. Sleep evaded her and she tried, without success, to tear her mind away from the images that tormented her every so often.

Images of her mother, screaming at her, eyes dulled from the medication. Each word that would slip past her mother's tongue would cut through her like shards of glass, delivered with the sole purpose of inflicting as much pain as possible.

As a child, she remembered being confused and frightened by her mother's outbursts. As she'd grown up, she'd learnt to protect herself from the emotions that threatened to rip her apart. She'd retreated into herself and often imagined her life being very different, with a mother who didn't loathe the very air she breathed.

Another hour of fighting the nightmares in her mind and Raz gave up even trying to sleep. She slipped out of bed, pulled on her bathrobe and tiptoed out of the room.

John found her in the empty bedroom in the early hours of the morning, standing by the window. The soft light fell on her expressionless face. She was completely still and he wondered for a moment if she was sleep-walking.

"Zee?" He touched her shoulder gently and felt her flinch. He sighed and dropped his hand. "Can't you sleep?"

Razeena turned to look at him, her eyes blank as if she wasn't really seeing him. He could see the sheen of tears forming and his stomach gave a painful jolt. Silently, he held out his arms to her and she stepped into them.

He didn't move or say anything. He just held her as she cried and cried. She buried herself in his embrace and held him as if she never wanted to let go. John looked out of the window and watched as the sun rose slowly and the darkness faded away.

XxxXxxX

The next week went by far too quickly for Razeena. She spent most of her time ordering furniture and arranging deliveries. She had yet to order anything for the small bedroom upstairs. It seemed silly to furnish it for a child she was never going to have, yet, the thought of furnishing it for someone else's child was worse.

Friday morning came and she still hadn't made up her mind about visiting John's parents this weekend. His whole family would be there and wanting to know what had happened and how they'd gotten back together again. She watched as John got dressed.

"I've arranged for the business manager to meet us for lunch today. Why don't you meet me at the arena at twelve and we'll go from there?"

"Sure." Raz shrugged as she got out of bed and slipped on her bathrobe.

"What about this weekend?" John asked her as pulled on his sneakers. "Are you planning to come with me?"

She thought, again, about all the questions she would have to face. She'd have to put on a brave face the entire weekend. She didn't know if she could handle it.

John must have sensed her indecision and said, encouragingly, "I'll be there with you the whole time. I'll field any tricky questions. Leave it to me."

Raz felt torn in the middle. She didn't want to be overwhelmed by the Cena family again, yet, neither did she want to spend the weekend away from John.

She was getting used to having him around. Too used to it.

"I'll come."

John smiled and dropped a kiss on her head. "Great. I'll see you later."

XxxXxxX

When John drove them to the cafe, later that day, to meet with the business manager, the last person Raz expected to see was Lauren Bates.

She couldn't believe the nerve of the woman. Of John. How could he ambush her like this?

As they reached the table, Lauren stood up and lifted her cheek for a kiss from John. Then she turned towards Razeena and the smile didn't quite meet her eyes as she held out her hand.

"Hello, Razeena. It's been a long time."

"Yes," was all Raz could manage.

"Where's the other partner?" Lauren asked about Chynna.

"She couldn't make it."

They sat down and immediately, Lauren turned to John and began discussing ideas about Razeena's business with him. Raz could see John kept trying to involve her but she resisted all of his efforts.

After lunch, they walked to their respective cars, Lauren telling John she'd see him this weekend.

John got into the car after Raz and sighed.

"I see how it's going to be this weekend." He threw her a cold look. "Tantrums and the cold shoulder routine."

"I'm not coming."

"Yes, you are, damn it!" John thrust the car into gear and pulled out of the parking bay. "For once in your life, would you just do as I ask? I don't want my parents' celebration to be spoilt by your petty jealousy."

"I'm not jealous!"

"You've always had it in for Lauren. She's practically family, for God's sake!"

"No doubt she'd like to be," Raz muttered under her breath.

"What?"

"Nothing."

John sighed and took the turn-off towards the house.

"Promise me, Raz, that you'll behave this weekend. I don't want you ruining this for my parents. It means a lot to them."

She didn't answer as John pulled up to the house. He stopped her as she made to get out of the car. "Promise me, Raz."

"Fine."

XxxXxxX

They almost missed their flight that evening. By the time, they reached the airport through peak-hour traffic, they just about had time to check in and board the plane before the air hostess closed the door.

When they landed, John's brother, Andrew, was there to meet them. The atmosphere was uneasy at first as if Andrew wasn't quite sure how to greet her. Raz made the decision for him by reaching up to kiss him on the cheek and then, giving him a smile.

"Hello, Andy."

"Raz. You, uh...you look marvellous, doesn't she, bro?"

The awkward moment had passed and the journey to their parents' house was a pleasant one. Andrew talked about his twin girls, Kaitlin and Kristin. John told him about the house and told him he should bring his family down to visit.

There was a warmth about the exchange that secretly impressed Raz. Growing up with a dysfunctional mother had left her severely under-loved. She'd never realised the depth of affection that could exist between individual family members.

Raz wasn't sure what kind of welcome to expect from John's mother, but when the door opened, she was next in line for an enveloping hug after John.

"Hello, Mrs. Cena."

"Oh, Razeena, my dear girl, what's all this nonsense about Mrs. Cena? You call me Jan, dear. Oh, here's Anthony, now." She turned towards John's father. "Anthony, look who's come with John after all."

Raz was crushed into another hug that threatened to squeeze the air out of her, but made her smile nonetheless.

"Mr. Ce-...Anthony," she greeted John's father shyly.

Andrew's wife, Janine, introduced herself, along with her five-year-old twins, who were consequently swept up in a hug by their adoring uncle. Raz felt the breath catch in her throat. Listening to their delighted giggles, she felt a sensation much like pain in the pit of her stomach.

After dinner, the doorbell rang, announcing the arrival of the rest of the Cena family. Since the celebrations weren't due to start until tomorrow, Raz wondered if they'd come simply to inspect her.

Andrew's twin, Chris, wasn't quite as welcoming as his brother but he certainly made an effort to be polite, introducing Raz to his wife, Leanne. Their three young children were at home with the sitter but Raz would get a chance to meet them tomorrow, she was told.

Lisa arrived and squealed with delight when she saw Raz sitting there. She threw her arms around Raz's neck as best she could, considering she was almost eight-and-a-half months pregnant. "You came! I'm so glad!"

Raz was then introduced to James, Lisa's husband, a quiet, shy man who seemed a bit overwhelmed by all the noise. She wondered if she had at last found an ally.

Razeena made an effort to talk to him over coffee. The rest of the Cena's were arguing rather loudly about some current affair or the other.

James caught her rolling her eyes. "Takes some getting used to, doesn't it?"

Raz smiled. "Yes, I suppose. Do you come from a big family?"

He shook his head. "Only child. You?"

"The same."

"You know, Lisa speaks very highly of you."

"She does? I'm flattered. Tell me about your son. John tells me he's two. Is that the difficult age everyone makes out?"

It was obvious that Raz had chosen the right topic to bring James out of his shell. She listened as he told her anecdotes about his young son. At one point, she caught the attention of almost everyone in the room, especially her ex-husband, with her laughter.

Her genuine amusement faded as she realised. John came over and casually perched himself on her chair, draping his arm around her shoulders.

"So, how are things, James? Busy in court?" John addressed his brother-in-law.

"You're a lawyer?" Raz asked and James nodded. "What field do you practice in?"

"Family law. Divorce, mostly."

Raz became uncomfortable and responded, with a small smile, "Interesting work."

The rest of the evening passed in the same way most Cena family evenings passed: noisily. Eventually, things began to quieten down as everyone who wasn't staying at the house made a move to leave. Raz stood awkwardly to one side as goodbyes were said at the door, since she didn't know what the sleeping arrangements were.

Soon, it was just John and Razeena left alone in the lounge. Raz began clearing up glasses and taking them through to the kitchen. John followed. He stopped her as she made to load the dishwasher.

"Leave them. We'll do it in the morning."

He stepped closer to her and moved his head down to meet her lips. He kissed her softly and then pulled back.

"My mother has separated us. You're in the rose room and I'm in the study. I didn't enlighten her about our...arrangement."

"I'm sure she'd be very shocked to hear of it."

John sighed and stepped away from her. "No doubt."

Raz was unsure whether their conversation was over, nevertheless, she made a move to go upstairs anyway.

"Well, goodnight then."

"Goodnight, Zee."

I know that isn't the most intriguing ending to a chapter but I promise it is going to get better. I just don't want the chapters to be too long and it's getting kinda late so I figured I should just end it there before it drags on and on and on...

Review please! I wanna know people are still interested in this story. =)

~SherbetStick...xx