Chapter One: Complicated

She stared at the computer screen, the simple words were spelled across the screen: "Why the World Needs Superman." She rested her fingers gently over the keys of her laptop and paused…

What was she supposed to write? How could she express what she needed to say? She had spent so much of the last five years thinking of all of the reasons why she didn't need him in her life anymore… but now, knowing that he might actually be gone…

The words before her became blurry as the tears formed in her eyes. She blinked and felt hot tears spilling down her face. She tried to call his image back into her mind, tried to remember the last time she had seen him…

He looked at her with those piercing blue eyes. Eyes that spoke from his heart. They were filled with gratitude and hope… and sadness. Even as she helped him up, she could feel his body trembling – still weak from the Kryptonite running through his veins. She watched him, a wave of worry overtaking her. But he clenched his jaw, silently and looked out the window down at the vast sea below. Without a word, he opened the door hatch.

"What are you doing?" She asked, though his answer was already clear.

"I have to go back."

And he looked at her with those eyes, pleading with her silently to understand. Asking her to forgive him, for what he was about to do.

She wanted to grab him, latch her arms around him and pull him down with all of her might just to make him stay. But she did nothing. She could do nothing.

He took a slight breath and the words were already resting on his lips. She didn't want to hear them, but the deep love in his eyes kept her still.

"Goodbye, Lois." He said the words tenderly, so quietly that only she could hear. A lump had swelled in her throat and somehow she had forgotten to breathe. The tears had come to her eyes again, hot and wet, making vision difficult.

And then he was gone. Lost into the sky, shooting upwards into the clouds like a beacon of light…

Lois blinked and removed her hands from the keyboard, plucking her glasses from her nose in order to wipe her tears. Her fingers were shaking now, and she could feel a swell of emotion rising in her chest. She got up from her chair, wrapping her robe around herself to try to keep herself from shaking. She couldn't do this right now. She couldn't deal with this.

Grabbing the pack of cigarettes from her desk, she let herself out onto the terrace. Fumbling with her lighter, she brought it close to the smoke in her mouth… and paused.

It was ridiculous why she stopped. He didn't like that she smoked. It was so stupid. Richard had been asking her to stop for years, and she knew she was setting a bad example for Jason. But the addiction was too strong and the comfort offered by the nicotine was always an excuse for a much-needed break. But she knew that he didn't like it when she smoked. And so she stopped, letting the flame extinguish itself and plucking the cigarette from her mouth.

"Good night!" The sweet sound of her son's voice broke the heavy silence of the night.

Lois whirled around to find Jason standing at his window. What's he doing still up?Who's he saying goodnight to?

She turned again to see who Jason was talking to…

… and stopped.

Before her floated the form of Superman. Her hero. Her savior. Her love. The joy that leapt into her heart made her almost want to shout out. He was alive! All of the regret that had built in her was finally being realized and all that she wanted to tell him was how much she loved him. How much she needed him. How much she wanted him.

He didn't say anything. The expression on his face said it all. There was a deep, tender loving in his eyes. And almost a look of wonder and happiness. She was suddenly aware that she had never seen him so… happy. And a part of her melted away in his gaze – knowing that now he felt complete, because now he had a family. Her family. Their family.

"Will we see you?...around?" The words sounded tentative as they came out of her mouth. She wanted to say so much more, but that was all that could come out.

A touch of amusement danced over his face, and his expression became reassuring. "I'm always around…"

Always so cryptic. She couldn't help but smile a little.

With that, he turned. "Good night, Lois." He started to float up even higher into the atmosphere, his eyes still locked with hers. He held her gaze even as he was beginning to fly away, just long enough for her to see and feel his love. Then, without another word, he was gone – streaking across the sky like a star.

She watched him leave, waiting until he had disappeared into a speck. A part of her wanted to call him back. She wanted to touch him, to feel his arms around her, reassuring her that he was real, that he was alive, that he was there. But instead, she simply watched him go.

Slowly she turned around and started to walk back into the house. She walked past her desk, where her laptop was still open and her article unwritten. She looked at the screen one last time and then peered at her clock. 1:15AM. It was getting late. But she couldn't sleep, the thoughts were still racing through her mind and she need to clear it. The last thing she wanted to do was to go upstairs and get in bed with Richard. No… she needed somewhere where she could think.

---

Clark let himself back into the Daily Planet without a sound. It was 1:30AM and everyone had already gone home. This was his favorite time to be at the Planet, surrounded by rows of empty desks and computers – just waiting for their reporters to come back to work. They hummed with anticipating, as if waiting for the morning to come. It was as if they knew that, even though the office was closed, the news wasn't going to stop and they were going to ready.

Picking his way through the lines of office chairs, he found his way to his desk and sat down. He still had not found a place to stay – with all of the hectic events of the past few weeks, he hadn't had a chance yet to find an apartment.

It didn't really matter to him. He didn't really need that much sleep, and he spent most of his nights busy on duty anyways. The Planet served as a home enough for him. At night, he could relax – let down the façade of the shy, geeky farmboy and be himself. Clark Kent. Just another guy, trying to live his life in the big city. He lowered himself wearily into his chair, letting his tired muscles relax.

He had only woken from his Krytonite-induced coma earlier in the evening and he could still feel its effects. His body ached deep down – the impact on his landing had struck him hard to the core and he could feel it in every part of his body. He closed his eyes…

The pain was almost too much to bear. Every part of his body was screaming and tearing apart. But he didn't let go. He couldn't. The weight of the ugly, cancerous island bore heavily down on his weakening form. He could feel himself slipping, his arms were burning with fatigue and pain and waves of shock were making their way down his back and into his legs.

He couldn't give up. Everyone was depending on him. She was depending on him. He couldn't let them down. With every last fiber in his being and all the willpower he could muster, he thrust the monstrous Kryptonite-laced mass into space.

Black spots had started to invade his vision, and he could feel his body tugging at his consciousness and drowning it in darkness. Having given up all of his strength, he could do nothing but surrender to that darkness.

His eyelids drooped heavily and he could feel himself falling. I'm dying. The thought ran through his head, and he wasn't scared. Anything would be better than this torment. He succumbed to the welcome comfort of unconsciousness and let himself plummet to the ground.

He didn't know how long he was unconscious for. He lost himself to the deepest of slumbers, devoid of everything – devoid of thought, devoid of emotion, devoid of life. He didn't know what had pulled him back from the edge. Even as he felt himself giving in to death he was ripped, almost painfully, back into the world of the living. And then there was just beeping… until he heard her voice.

"I don't know if you can hear me…" She sounded so small, almost lost. "they say sometimes when people are…" she paused and he could hear the timidness in her voice, nothing like the confident reporter, Lois Lane that he had come to know so well. "that sometimes they can hear you?"

He had wanted to wake up, wanted to see her with his eyes. But he had no strength left in his body and all he could do was listen.

There was a long pause and then he heard her voice again. "I wanted to tell you…" she paused and then leaned in. Even in his depth of unconsciousness, he could feel her lean in closer to her. He could smell her familiar, warm scent. "Jason…Jason's your son." She was whispering now, and there was a tone of almost desperation in her voice, "That's why you have to wake up, Superman. Because… he needs you. I…I need you."

Her lips were soft and moist as they slowly caressed his, and in her lips he could feel her love. It was a deep, sorrowful love, but love nonetheless… and then, she was gone again.

He opened his eyes again and breathed in deeply, for once enjoying the feeling of oxygen in his lungs. It was her voice, her need, that had pulled him back into consciousness. Knowing that she needed him, and that he had a son… He blinked back unbeckoned tears. He had a son…

For so long he had lived his life so entirely alone. Having no one in his life but his foster parents. He had never really known what it was like to have a family, and to feel the love or joy of being a father. But now, knowing that Jason was his son – it felt like somehow he was more whole, more complete, more real.

The ding of the elevator brought him out of his self-induced trance. He glanced at the clock, 2:00AM. Who was coming to work so late?

He sat up a little straighter in his chair, ignoring his screaming muscles as he felt them tense against any movement. Using his perfect vision, he peered into the lobby to see the form of Lois Lane step out of the elevator.

She walked very slow, seemingly deep in thought. She was already dressed for work, wearing a knee-length brown skirt and a cream collared shirt. The double glass doors squeaked as she stepped into the bullpen.

He waited for a second, reveling in her form under the gentle, yellow glow of the nightshift lights. Her soft, hazelnut hair fell in gentle cascades over her shoulders. Her mismatched blue and brown eyes were cast thoughtfully to the ground and her lips were parted in a slight pout. He would do anything to let her stay in that moment, but he knew that it was not to last.

"L-Lois!" He squeaked, "What are you doing here?"

She seemed startled for a second and her eyes darted around the room to rest on his form. She let out a slight sigh of relief and smirked, "Clark… I didn't expect to see you here."

He grinned sheepishly and ducked his head. "Yeah… uh." He looked down at his hands, "I haven't gotten a chance yet to find a place to stay." He spread his fingers, "things have been kind of hectic, y'know?"

Her mouth dropped slightly, "You mean you've been staying at the Planet all this while? Geez Clark, I knew you were kind of a workaholic, but isn't this taking it a little too far?"

He scratched his head, "Heh… yeah. Well, I guess I'll be looking for a place this week, if things don't get too busy around here."

She laughed.

He paused and then looked timidly at her, "So… what're you doing here?"

She paused, the smile disappearing from her face for a second. "I was having a hard time writing my article… thought maybe I could use a change of scenery. You know, to help with the writer's block."

"Oh," he perked up a little, "anything I could help you with?"

"No." She shook her head, "It's a new editorial piece that I was going to do. Although, at this point, I'm tempted to just scrap the whole thing and start over on something else."

"What's it about?" He asked, pulling up the chair next to him for her to sit in.

She looked at the chair for a second, as if contemplating if she really wanted to have a conversation. Then, with a sigh, she plopped down on it and sat face to face across from him. "Why the World Needs Superman," She looked at him and rolled her eyes, "Yeah, I know, it's kinda lame."

He blinked. "No… uh… no. It's not. Seems, rather appropriate, I guess." He hastily adjusted his glasses, pushing them higher on his nose with his index finger.

"Yeah…" she stared off towards the other side of the room. "Kind of ironic though." She shrugged.

"So… why aren't you writing it anymore?" He asked quietly.

She brought her gaze back to him, meeting his eyes with her own. "I… can't." She said softly. She took a breath as if to say more and then stopped. Clark raised an eyebrow, afraid to say anything, lest it scare her from speaking. "It's complicated," She laughed to herself, "to say the least."

She got up from her seat and walked towards the window across the way. "Do you know what it's like to love someone, Clark?"

He cautiously got up and walked to stand next to her at the window. He looked at her and then out at the midnight sky. He opened his mouth to answer, but she cut him off as she continued to speak – seemingly oblivious to his side of the conversation.

"I mean, to really love someone." She pursed her lips in thought, "In a way that resonates all the way to your core… so that they become a part of you, and you become a part of them. And no matter what happens, no matter how much time has passed, or how much distance is between you… in the face of everything, you can never stop loving them?"

He blinked, shifting his eyes from the window to the small form next to him. Lois stood in a trance-like state, her gaze staring blankly out the window. For that second, she looked so small. So fragile. The emotions that swelled up in his chest threatened to release themselves and he wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms and feel her warmth.

He licked his lips to moisten them and then replied quietly, "Do you love him?"

She looked up sharply at him, breaking out of her trance. It was as if she had suddenly remembered that he was there, and he could see her protective wall of confidence come back up again. "Who?"

"uh…" He shifted uncomfortably, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "Superman…?"

"No." She replied quickly.

"No?"

"I mean… Yes." She seemed flustered.

"Yes."

"No!" She shook her head, stumbling over her words. "I mean…" She let out a frustrated sigh, "It's… not that simple, Clark."

She peered up at him. "I guess it's hard for you to understand –the whole relationship thing." Then, as if suddenly realizing that she had insulted him, she added. "I mean, you never talk about it."

He smiled meekly, "Yeah… guess I'm still waiting for that perfect girl to come along."

She laughed lightheartedly, reaching up to pat him on the top of the head with an almost child-like affection. "Good old Clark… an old-fashioned gentleman, huh?" She winked, "Well, I wish you luck."

He played along, giving her an awkward shrug and a lopsided grin, glad to have the tension broken.

"Well, I better get working. I'm sure Perry expects something on his desk by 9am, so if I'm not going to do this editorial, I'm going to have to whip up something else fast." She was already walking away even as she spoke to him.

"OK." He answered making his way back to his desk, "Well, let me know if you need any help."

"Sure thing, Clark."