Disclaimer: don't own

A/N: thankies to any reviewers

Wounded Within

Chapter 8: Cold of Space

The shock still hadn't quite faded by the time one of the handmaidens fetched me a rough set of clothes similar to those the Jedi wore under their robes.

I sat at a table in the commissary pushing some sort of mush around the plate in front of me.

Qui-gon sat opposite me, staring intently.

A clatter of fork against plate signaled when the silent scrutiny became too much.

"What?" I demanded.

"Can you tell me the last thing you remember before waking up?" Qui-gon said steadily.

"I was stabbed in the side, you brought me onto the ship, and then I passed out. No matter how many times you ask me, the answer is still going to be the same."

Qui-gon's level stare remained the same. I could feel the Force pulsing around him, measuring the truth of my words. True, the Force whispered.

"And when you woke up?"

"The cold metal table, no clothes, white walls, hallway, meeting, having your Padawan's lightsaber held to my throat, etcetera, etcetera." My answer was merely a simpler version of my previous four answers to the same question.

True, the Force whispered.

"And in between loosing consciousness and waking?" Qui-gon's tone and stare were unchanged, but I paused at this question. He had been asking the same two questions for the past ten or fifteen minutes. This question was new.

"And in between?" He prompted.

How did I answer that? Could I tell him of the dark and green, the void and threads? Something in me whispered to keep that to myself. It was of no one's concern but my own.

"Nothing. I don't remember anything." I lied.

Qui-gon was silent. I could tell he didn't believe me.

True, the Force whispered.

Qui-gon's shoulders loosened slightly as he pushed any doubts aside.

My time between death and life would remain unspoken and unknown by anyone but me and I was glad the Force agreed and wanted to keep it that way. Selfishly, I hoped it would always stay that way, that such an experience would remain only mine.

"May I see your wound?" The Jedi asked.

Silently, I lifted my shirt just enough for him to see the rough scar. There was a surge of the Force that ran straight through me as his fingertips reached out and lightly brushed my side.

"It appears to be the same injury, except the healing has accelerated greatly. It is almost as if the fatal injury has healed a years worth in only hours." He withdrew his hand and I shivered as the electricity in my blood faded with it. "Does it hurt?"

"It aches a little, but nothing too painful." I answered, pulling the fabric back down.

"So," I started, "Where are we headed?"

"Coruscant."

"Alright. Where is that?"

"It is the capitol of the Republic. The Senate building and Jedi Temple are there."

"What is going to happen to me?"

"That I do not know." Qui-gon said apologetically. "I will need to speak with the Council on both the matters of you and Anakin."

I nodded. That was understandable and it was better than an empty promise. And it wasn't like I had anywhere left to go either.

Silence fell and my hand began idly pushing the food around on my plate once again. It wasn't long before Qui-gon's Padawan came in.

"Queen Amidala wishes to speak with you, Master." He said to Qui-gon. The elder Jedi nodded, rising to his feet in one fluid motion.

"I will have more questions later," he told me before leaving.

The Padawan took his place opposite me.

"Sorry," I said, " I didn't catch your name before."

"Obi-wan."

"Ah, and do you normally hold lightsabers to people you just meet?"

"Do you normally rise from the dead?"

"Good point." I laughed.

We were silent for a few moments.

"What's it like being a Jedi?" I blurted.

"A lot of hard work, but it's worth it."

"How long have you been one?" Judging by the brightness and thickness of the green threads around him it had been a while.

"As long as I can remember. Force-sensitives are brought to the Temple when they are very young. It isn't until they're about eleven or thirteen that a master takes them as a Padawan learner."

"Oh." I could not imagine living such a life, where study, not survival, was the main objective. I studied Obi-wan.

With his spiky ginger hair, long braid, and youthful face he did not look like a nearly-immortal warrior of the ancient legends.

Still, the way he had ignited his lightsaber and leapt across the room with lightning speed gave a glimpse of that warrior.

"How long are you going to be a Padawan?" I asked, hoping these questions were not broaching some sort of boundary.

"Until Qui-gon deems me ready to take the Trials."

I did not ask what the Trials were and Obi-wan did not explain them. No doubt they were exactly what they sounded like.

Silence descended once again. Finally feeling ready to try the food in front of me, I scooped up a small mouthful. The gray mush was surprisingly good. It wasn't excellent, but edible. Much more edible than it had appeared to be.

"What is this?"

"I'm not sure. Probably some form of synthetic protein and fiber substitute. We were in a hurry when we took off in this ship and did not have the time to fully supply it. We are down to the emergency rations at this point."

"Oh," I said, swallowing another spoonful. Now that I had begun eating, the hunger I should have been feeling long before was finally settling in. "Will we have enough to make it to Coruscant?"

"Yes, but not by much. Luckily, we only have one more day of travel." These words were said with a smile and Obi-wan took a sip of water from the glass that had previously been Qui-gon's.

I took a sip of my own water, ignoring the slightly stale taste that comes from water being still to long. Upon reflection, though, I had drunk much worse tasting and looking water to survive. I had to stifle a laugh at myself.

Soon the food on my plate was gone along with my remaining water. I looked around in hopes of some clue of what to do with the dishes. A pity no one had come in to eat while I had been there for me to see what he or she would do.

"Need some help?"

Obi-wan's voice startled me. Was my predicament that plain?
"Yes, thank you. Where do I put the dishes?"

"Here," Obi-wan stood and walked over to a device in the wall. He placed his dishes and mine into the compartment, closed the transparisteel door and pressed a button on the side.

"This will clean and sanitize them. Then we can put the dishes back."

Within moments of Obi-wan's explanation, a small light near the bottom of the door flickered to life. He removed the dishes and set them back on their respective racks.

"Thank you, I never would have known what to do." I said. Back home soap and water were the only way I could wash my dishes.

"Do you know where you are going to be sleeping yet?" The young Jedi asked me as we walked out into the hallway.

"No," I answered. "Though I was not really planning to sleep very much." At all, actually.

"I'm sure we can find you some quarters," Obi-wan said, motioning me to follow, "Come on."

I followed as the Jedi led me through the corridors, not hesitating when he turned down unmarked junctions. I was lost by the time we stopped outside a door that looked identical to the ones we had passed along the way. Put me in a forest and I would never lose my way, but in this place where everything looked the same with no reference points and I was utterly turned around.

"How big is this ship?" I asked.

"Not huge, but the interior is designed to allow for maximum space inside the hull. At times that means the corridor is a bit of a maze." Obi-wan answered.

I palmed the control panel to open the door and encountered a room that was more the size of a storage closet.

"The spare rooms also tend to be quite small as a result as well." Obi-wan continued when he saw my reaction to the limited space.

A single cot took up most of the space; a small shelving unit took up much of the rest. At the far side of the room there was another door that I assumed lead to a bathroom.

"The fresher is on the other side of that door," Obi-wan confirmed my guess, though the terminology was strange to me. "I wouldn't suggest you wander about in case you get lost, but if you do need to go for a walk and can't find your way back, the panels to the sides of the doors can also be used to access the COM. We should be arriving at Coruscant soon, so get some rest." With that, the young Jedi gave a slight bow and exited. The door swished closed behind him.

I was alone at last. With a sigh, I plopped down on the rickety bed. I was not tired, well, not very. I had no intention of sleeping, however. What felt like minutes passed. Had those three questions really been all Qui-gon wanted to ask me. There had to be more. Wouldn't he have asked if I had had this happen before? If there had been other instances where I had found myself alive when I should have been dead?

Had there? I thought back as far as I could. That place with the green threads and the void had felt familiar. Was that the force? My mind clicked the puzzle pieces together. Before the sandstorm. That Tazzarn. He had killed me for real. The Force hadn't just pulled me back in time and save my life in the process. It had pulled me back in time then because I was dead. Dead to my own time, there was nothing else I could possibly do there. The Force had pulled me back to a time not my own in order to accomplish something, and since I did not belong there, the Force could bring me back from the dead however many times it wished.

I shivered, suddenly very cold. Restlessness filled my limbs, and I was filled with the desire to move. I didn't care where, I just had to get out of this confining room.

The door slid open with a swish of displaced air, and I looked out into the empty hallway. For such a large ship, there certainly were never any people about. It felt strange, but what did I know about space travel? I had never left my forest if I could help it, let alone my planet.

At the end of the corridor was a small circular chamber. Perhaps it was a 'lift'? I had heard of them before, and some of the high-end shops in the cities on T'tooine supposedly had them, but I had never actually been in one. Curious, I stepped on and pressed the palm pad that I guessed would activate it.

"Well, that's strange," I gasped as the floor started lowering far faster than I wanted. The lift came to a stop, and I stood still for a second, not quite ready to move. The door swished open, and I stumbled out, ready to be rid of the odd contraption. They had to have stairs somewhere.

"Do you need help with something?" A voice I recognized asked.

"Umm, hello Padme." I said, looking around. I was in what appeared to be a maintenance bay for droids. Anakin was curled up on a chair wrapped in a blanket next to a table, "Anakin."

"Hello," the boy answered.

I looked at where Jar Jar lay sprawled opposite Anakin, asleep.

"Are you lost?" Padme spoke again.

From her tone I gathered that my wandering about the ship was not welcome. Quickly, I thought up an excuse.

"Actually, I was looking for you. Could you please teach me how to use the fresher? I'm not exactly familiar with this model." That was an understatement. Back home it had always been stream water for me as any sort of power signature where there was supposed to be none was a beacon for any human-hunters.

"Sure, no problem," was the response. She gave Anakin a smile before walking purposefully towards the lift.

"Aren't there any stairs we could take?"

A confused glance was all the answer I received.

Of course not, why would there be stairs? I grimaced, but kept the comment to myself as I followed.