Clothing Issues

(a.k.a Because Yami Bakura Had To Have Gotten The Trench Coat Somewhere)

By ahpai

Ryou stared.

And stared harder.

He blinked, shook his head, and resumed staring.

Anyone watching the white-haired boy at his current moment of bafflement would not fail to wonder just what the hell a boy could possibly be doing, staring dumbfounded into his very own wardrobe.

A dismal predicament over realizing that none of his clothing is suitable for a special date, perhaps? Or being ordered to clean up his wardrobe which he had avoided from attempting for the past, oh, decade, say, and for good reason? Maybe even finding that a rat had somehow gotten into it the night before and died there?

To be exact, Ryou Bakura was not staring at his wardrobe interiors in general, but rather his wide, brown eyes (for they were very wide indeed then) were focusing on a rather... special piece of clothing. One that he never remembered ever buying, and, living all by himself, he did, as a matter of fact, buy his own clothes. One that he would not even set his eyes on for longer than two seconds if he ever saw it in a department store, and for varying reasons.

For one, it contrasted too much with his hair.

Ryou bent to pick up the object of his scrutiny for the past ten minutes from where it was careless dumped in a heap in the back corner of his otherwise neatly kept wardrobe. The material was heavy in his arms. He shook it out to its full length where it swept down and pooled a little on the floor, quite dismayed that it was, in fact, what he suspected it would be.

A black, full-length trench coat.

Ryou sighed. He stared at the piece of clothing and wondered if by any chance at all, he could somehow return it to its rightful owner. It was a redundant question, though, and he knew it. He already had a very strong suspicion of how it ended up there anyway. He checked the designer tag at the back of the trench coat collar, and nearly dropped the trench coat. One thing was sure, the person (or, rather, entity) responsible for this had terrific taste in designer-line clothing.

/But of course, I do. One does one's best, don't they say?/

Ryou promptly dropped the trench coat this time, quite understandably startled. His Yami did not speak to him on normal occasions (or any occasion at all, for that matter), and the last time he did out of pure amusement, the outcome had been rather... disturbing. Even now he still took quick showers instead of long baths, just to be safe.

/You are quite the darling, aren't you, now. Do bear in mind that I haven't forgotten about the bathroom issue. Now pick it up; I'd like to have another good look at my, ah, new property./

/It's not yours to begin with/ Ryou thought accusingly, but bent to pick the trench coat up anyway.

/Grown a backbone already, haven't we. Last I checked you were moderately terrified of me./

/... Well, stealing clothes off of someone's back is just wrong.../

/There's no need to get prissy about it, yadonushi./

/Prissy?!/

/After all you've gone through with me, clothing, of all things, should be a little lower down your list of things you detest about me, and I know you have one./

/You bloody stole it! Probably robbed it right off the man in a, a street alley!/

/Oh, such brilliant observation skills. As it is, I highly doubt if the man who so kindly part with it for my sake would be in any need of this anymore.../

Ryou did not ask what had happened to the man or even the conditions of the exchange, quite certain that he wouldn't want to know.

/Put it on./

/What? No!/

/I said put it on./

/I think it would be better if I just-/

/It's a damn trench coat, yadonushi. What else do you do with a trench coat?!/

/I don't know- eat it?/

/Do we need to get unpleasant now, yadonushi? Do you have a sudden desire to be in your Soul Room again? I have been too soft on you lately.../

Ryou bit his lower lip uncertainly. As much as he disapproved, it was a fact that he could do nothing to amend things, and just throwing it away would be such a waste... Not to mention the fact that he most certainly did not miss his Soul Room. He gripped the material in his hands a little tighter, and then quickly pulled the trench coat on over his t-shirt and jeans. He reasoned that if it was unsuitable, he would pack it off for charity.

/How noble. Of course, one would wonder how a little minor like you with no significant wealth or connection could possibly come in possession of such a material. Bound to raise questions, no?/

Ryou ignored the sarcasm, working on wearing the trench coat. He pushed his mass of white hair out over the black material and straightened it properly.

To his utmost dismay, with the exception of a slightly wider shoulder cut, it fitted him more or less perfectly. It dropped to his ankles at just the right length, and the sleeves were precise. The buckle, too, would wrap around his waist just nice.

/It would be such a scar on my pride if I do not get even my own size right./

My size./

/Same difference./

Ryou stared at his own image at the full-length mirror installed in the inside of his wardrobe door.

He felt ridiculous.

There was the other reason why he would never consider a trench coat in his winter-clothing list. He did not have the style to pull it off. He did not know just how to walk wearing this thing. He did not have the ability to somehow have it flare out confidently and dramatically behind him.

In short, he was not Seto Kaiba.

/I find such comparison to be rather offensive, yadonushi. To my credit, I wear it just fine./

/You do realize this is going to a waste anyhow? You could've stolen a jacket or something- what am I talking about.../

/Not my fault that you haven't an ounce of style in your veins. And jackets are hardly stylish enough./

/I am who you are in this lifetimee, remember? And there's nothing wrong with jackets./

/No, as a matter of fact, you are not. You are my match, my perfect vessel, nothing more. Compatibility of body does not result in traits that run true. Would you like me to continue our dispute over jackets?/

Ryou remained mute.

/I rather thought so./

Ryou sighed again.

Then, decidedly, he shrugged the trench coat off, folded it as compactly as he could manage, kneeled, pulled open a rather specially reserved drawer in his wardrobe, and stuffed the black material into it alongside all the other pieces of expensive and black clothing, gold valuables, Duel Monster cards, and a whole Duel Disc that the Spirit of the Ring had somehow swiped while being in possession of his body and blocking his mind out in those times so that he did not remember a single, bloody thing that happened (pun not entirely unintended) and is left to deal with matters when he regained consciousness.

He shut the drawer and turned the key to lock it resolutely, all the while having his Yami's slightly maniacal laughter ringing in his mind.

After all, it would take a lot of explaining if Yuugi and the rest somehow stumble upon the items someday.

He straightened up and headed towards his kitchen, now wondering to cook or throw away the bloody slabs of meat he found in his refrigerator's meat-freezer compartment just this morning.

-END-

Thank you Emiko87 and CatF for your reviews!

If anybody has ideas for more day-to-day issues, feel free to let me know! I might just use them