TITLE: I Made a Wish
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing.
SPOILERS: YES YES YES. for chapter 124.
Comments/concrit appreciated.

I Made a Wish

Fai woke up in a druggy daze.

Why was he awake? He should be dead.

Fai did not feel dead.

He felt achy, the all-over kind of achy. The all-over kind of achy that makes you ache in places you did not know existed.

Bruised. Lightheaded; blood loss.

And like there was a train wreck inside his head.

He could smell medicine, alcohol. He could feel medicine in his veins; antibiotics for infection and narcotics for pain.

The last thing he remembered was giving Kurogane one final smile and saying he was sorry. And closing his eyes for what he had expected to be the last time.

Why was he not dead?

Fai sat up, slowly, bracing himself as a wave of dizziness crashed over him.

"What the hell did you do?" he mumbled, over his shoulder.

"You're not dead. You figure it out."

Fai got to his feet, wobbling unsteadily. He glared at Kurogane with his one eye. "What the hell did you do!" he shouted.

It cost him what little strength he had; his knees gave and his ass hit the mattress again.

Fai closed his lips tightly and pressed his fist against his mouth, struggling not to be sick. When it had passed, he took a long, shaky breath.

"What did you do?" he asked, quietly.

"I made a wish."

"You had no right." Fai said sharply, voice trembling. "How dare you ..."

Kurogane roared, "How dare you give up!"

"It is my life. I decide." He yelled, "You had no right!"

"Stop whining and be grateful you're alive."

"I don't want to be alive!"

"Liar."

"You—You've said it all along. I'm the type of person you hate, because I've already given up on my life. Why did you not just let me die!"

"Because you don't want to die!" Kurogane returned, with equal vehemence.

"Yes, I—!"

"If you had really wanted to die, you would have done it already. That girl said that the shock of—" He broke off, took a second before he continued, "of it alone could have killed you. But you hung on because you don't want to die."

"Why ..." Fai moaned, falling back on the bed, and curled into himself miserably. "Why did you not just let me die ..."

The bed shifted under Kurogane's weight. Kurogane braced himself over Fai, his weight set carefully on his hands and his knees and not on the wizard. One hand pushed at Fai's shoulder, turning him over roughly so that he had to look up at Kurogane.

"Maybe I did it just to make you mad."

"You." A spark flashed in the blue of Fai's eye. "I could ..." His teeth were clenched with anger. His hands raised up and closed around Kurogane's throat. "I could kill you."

Fingers flexed, but did not squeeze.

Red eyes gleamed; Kurogane grinned down at the man below him. "There you are."

"What?"

"The real you. The one that wants to fight. I can see you now."

"You don't—" He shoved Kurogane back, off him, and held the ninja down underneath him. Through the heat of anger he had to realize that he did not have this strength; Kurogane let him. "You can't—"

Kurogane confessed quietly, "I would have done it anyway. Even if you did not want to live."

Fai whispered helplessly, "... why ...?"

Kurogane's hand circled lightly around Fai's wrist. He did not smile. "Even you can't be that stupid."

"Oh."

Fai had no strength left. The anger had passed and the strength it had lent him went with it. He fell heavily onto the bed beside Kurogane.

Fai stared up at the ceiling. He felt strangely empty and strangely full and strangely defeated and strangely warm.

His hand nudged against Kurogane's. Kurogane's hand laid gently on top of his.

"What did you have to exchange?"

"Why? So you can hate yourself for it?"

Fai sighed. "I would like to know."

"I can never go back to Nihon."

"What—?!"

Kurogane knocked an arm into Fai's chest and made him fall down onto the bed again. "You need to rest."

"Oh, so you wish to save my life and you think you can order me around now?" Fai murmured, a bit petulantly.

"What makes you think my wish was to save your life?"

"But—?"

"It wasn't. I wished for your eye to be returned."

Fai touched the bandage still covering his left eye. "You ..."

"Witch can't trick me." Kurogane smiled to himself, more than a little proudly. "If you got your eye back, you wouldn't be dying anymore. If you got your eye back, you got your magic back."

"My magic ..."

Through the drugs and the pain and the anger and the shouting and everything else, Fai had not noticed. Not very much of what he had lost was returned yet, but when he concentrated he could feel it. His magic, coming back to him.

"Will return too." Kurogane finished. "Your eye is not completely healed yet. The Witch said you would be sensitive to light and infection for a few days. So you're going to need to keep the bandage on for a little while. But once it's healed, you'll be good as new. And as annoying as ever."

Fai turned over onto his stomach and propped himself up on his elbows, looking down at Kurogane sadly. "I can't believe you gave that up for me." He reached out a hesitant hand and touched the ninja's cheek. "I'm really not worth it, you know."

"You shut up. It was my choice. You don't get to make a martyr out of yourself over it." He huffed a breath. "You may be an invalid, but I will kick your ass."

"Hm." Fai smiled a small smile, recognizing Kurogane's handiwork across the room. "I would hate to end up like that wall over there. All crater-y."

"You really piss me off sometimes, you know that?" Kurogane muttered. The arm nearest Fai bent, his hand curling around Fai's shoulder.

"I'm sorry."

Kurogane's voice was hard and serious, "Don't you dare be sorry."

Fai laid down carefully, his head against Kurogane's shoulder. "You can never go back to Nihon."

"And you can never go back to your world." Kurogane sighed.

They were quiet for a moment, just breathing together.

Fai murmured, "I suppose ... when this is all over ... we could ..."

"You're coming with me wherever I go. Or I'm going with you wherever you go. No arguments."

Fai closed his eyes, about to give in to sleep. "I have not thanked you, huh?"

"Shut up." Kurogane said quietly. "Get some rest."