Chapter Twenty-Five-and-a-Half

Introduction

Series: Teen Titans(Animated Series)

Author: El Queso de Melicioso

Genres: Humor/Romance

Rated: M

Summary: This is the official recording of the events which took place between chapters 25 and 26 of "Teen Titans – Video Games Are Fun!"

Disclaimer: Any relation to existing proper nouns, fictional or otherwise, are entirely coincidental… unless they aren't. In which case, I don't own them.

Titan's Ages

Beast Boy – 18

Raven – 19

A/N: Even I must admit that this was rather malicious of me. What could be considered the funniest events in "Video Games" have been saved until the submission of the final chapter. Even I must admit that this is cruel. It's made even worse being as how I kept some quazi-important information out of the main fic and only posted it here. You'll see what I'm speaking of when you start reading. This entire chapter is from Raven's POV, seeing as how BB's gonna be high to one degree or another through the entire thing. Ooh, this should be fun…

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Raven's POV

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I peered around me with disgust. At first, the party was manageable. I'd even begun to enjoy myself slightly.

Those damned Gerudos just had to ruin it. Apparently, they can't go three full hours without having an orgy.

"Idiots" I muttered bitterly, searching for any guard who wasn't… busy. When I finally found one, she was just finishing throwing her uniform back on. I waited for her to be prepared before I cleared my throat to announce my presence.

She turned to address me. "Yes?" she asked, apparently recognizing me as the guest that I was.

"You wouldn't happen to know where I'll be staying tonight?" I asked, making it obvious that she'd better have an answer.

She took a nervous step back before calming herself and responding. "Of course."

When I'd gotten the directions to my room, I turned to leave, not giving the woman a moment to stop me. I was pleased beyond all logical reason when I reached the room and had the door shut behind me.

I looked around the room, finding it to be very sparcely decorated. There was a single large bed in the center and a door on the opposite end, hopefully opening into a bathroom of some sort.

It was only upon settling on the bed that I realized something. I hadn't meditated since hooking up with Gar in the Water Temple.

"That's odd" I muttered to myself. "I've never put it off for this long…"

Sighing and shrugging, I decided that there was no time like the present. I hovered into the air and began to chant.

"Azarath… Metrion… Zynthos…"

In Raven's Head

(Raven lands to find that her mind looked oddly similar to the main chamber of the Gerudo's Fortress at the moment. The appearance was mainly due to the massive quantity of decorations and party-related stuff.)

Raven: What's going on here?

Happy: Oh, hi Rae! Wanna join in?

Raven: Join in with… what, exactly?

(Wisdom stepped forward.)

Wisdom: If it isn't obvious enough, we're having a party.

Raven: Why?

(Love makes herself known at this point.)

Love: Isn't it obvious?

Trigger-happy: 'Cause we totally kicked Denial's ass not too long ago…

Love: …you've finally hooked up with Gar…

Psychotic: … I like pickles…

Happy: …and, it's fun!

Raven: Riiiiiiight…

Logic: Do you really wanna know why?

Raven: Well, duh. Would I be asking otherwise?

Sarcastic: Actually, yes. Yes you would.

(Logic seems to actually be smiling.)

Logic: It's rather simple really. We're celebrating because-

Back in the Room

"Dinner lady arms!" was the next thing I heard as I was launched, quite rudely, from my meditation, affectively killing my concentration.

I stared at my attacker with obvious rage radiating from my being. "Gar! What do you think you're doing?"

"I've found the golden ticket!" he shouted, flipping away from me and beginning to perform some type of contortion which could only be compared to drunken break dancing.

"Ummm… Gar" I began slowly. "Are you alright?"

He seemed almost to bounce into the air and began to ricochet all over the room until, once again, he collided with my chest. I was finally able to get a good look at his face and cringed at what I saw. "Oh hell…" His pupils were dilated to the most psychotic proportions.

"How dare you push me into a wall of squirrels?" he screamed into my ear before once again launching himself in some random direction.

"Dammit Gar!" I shouted, becoming angry again. "How many times have I told you not to get high… without sharing?"

He didn't seem to notice me as he just continued to launch himself about the room in a way which basically flipped the metaphorical bird at the laws of physics.

As he continued to fly randomly about the room, constantly missing random objects by mere inches, I began to worry for his physical well being.

"Garfield Mark Logan! You stop that right now!" I shouted as forcefully as I could, almost bursting into tears when he collided into me once more.

"My balls look like fuzzy grapes!"

Things went on like this for quite awhile before I was finally able to get him pinned to the bed. I was literally holding him in place with my own body.

I was holding his hands over his head, and had my legs slung on either side of his middle. And, of course, a guard selected this exact moment to check on us.

"What's going on in here?" she asked, snapping her whip.

My head shot up at her entrance, and I was confused. "Since when do you people use whips?"

She stared at me with an expression of obvious confusion. "What are you ta-oh!" With a blush of her own, she attempted to hide the whip behind her back. "We don't and you saw nothing!"

"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight…" I deadpanned.

"So…" the guard began casually. "What's up in here? You two sounded pretty… active… just now."

My eyes shot open even wider than they'd been up to that point. "What? No! Gar's just high!"

And, as if to emphasize my claims, he burst out from beneath the bed, latching onto the guard's face and screaming "Taste me! I'm delicious!" before rotating their positions and literally catapulting her out the window.

"When'd that window get there?" I wondered out loud before realizing that Gar was once again on the loose. "Oh shit!"

I leapt at him at full force and we were both sent tumbling to the floor. We were rolling around like such for a short while, randomly alternating between who was on top and who was being pinned.

Every time Gar found his way on top of me, he would let loose some mindless goober of idiocy. "Have you ever bought a one way ticket to hell… and back?" "Can you tell me why the blind man cries?" "Can you hear the children doing singing?" "Did you think you could love me and leave me to die?" "Well, it's not for me!" "I've never seen a wheelbarrow move so fast!" "Did it seem like a good idea at the time?"

Finally, he had me fully pinned to the floor and I couldn't move my arms in the slightest. He took this opportunity to press his face right up next to mine before screaming one last thing "AND I LOVE WHAT YOU'VE DONE WITH YOUR HAIR!"

I stared at him, terrified beyond all reason. In the position he had me in, and in his current mindset, there was no telling what he could've done. Then, I found out exactly what he could do in said mindset.

"Oh Azar" I moaned as I finally recognized his actions for what they were. He was humping my leg.

This realization was appropriately startling, and elicited an appropriate response from me. I encased him in a green aura and threw him against the far wall. I then stood and wiped the wrinkles from my cloak.

I slowly walked up to his prone body and rolled him onto his back. I began to check him for any serious injuries when I saw his eyes. They were open, but all that could be seen were the whites.

This note made me gasp under my breath in slight surprise. Almost as if awakened by that gasp, he tackled me to the ground once more and began to jam his pelvic region against my leg once more. With a roll of my eyes, I decided that I'd be better off just letting him work off the energy.

He just went on like this for a good ten minutes or so when he suddenly tensed. I assumed that he'd "finished" and was finally gonna calm down. I was only half right. He launched himself, once again, at the wall, but latched onto it with his claws, still facing in my direction.

I stood slowly, but stopped as he seemed almost to scuttle slightly towards the door. I was relieved when he stopped. The last thing I needed was for him to get out. He was staring frantically about the room, as if it were filled to the brim with things that were out to get him.

He took my moment of relief and crushed it as he began to scuttle once more. This time, he seemed to be making a randomly shifting and rotating route around the room until he was finally directly above the bed.

He took another minute to stare about frantically a bit more before dropping behind the bed. I began to copy his previous frantic staring, as I really couldn't stand him taking me off guard again. He didn't seem to be anywhere, but he'd defied logic enough times so far that I wasn't gonna risk anything.

After having scanned the entire room at least a half dozen times, I could hear him rush past from behind me. I turned and looked about nervously.

Then, defying physics once more, he popped out from one of my pockets, grabbed and squeezed my cheeks and began another one of his random screaming fits.

"I've always wanted to be dipped in a big, bubbling vat of warm, rising…" he began, his eyes only showing the whites up to this point, but suddenly becoming completely dominated by the pupils once again as he finished "… breeeeeaaad dooooouuugh!"

He took my shock as an opportunity to back flip away, pushing off of my chest and landing in a crouched position in front of a bright red curtain.

"I don't remember that curtain…" I muttered quietly to myself.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" Gar called out in an announcer's tone. "Introducing the legendary musical group, Queen, with lead singer, Freedy Mercury!"

At that announcement, the curtain fell away to reveal just what Gar had said. 'I thought they were dead or something…' I thought, staring in astonishment. Finally, I shook my head. 'Oh, screw it…'

All the members of the band looked around at their surroundings for a moment before exchanging confused looks and shrugging. They then began to play Don't Stop Me Now.

Before they reached the words, Gar stepped up to me and held his hand out to me. "May I have this dance, Madame Purple Pom-Pom?"

I stared at him for only a moment before gripping his hand tightly and being pulled in close as the song rose to the melody.

Um boom ba bay

Um boom ba bay

Um um boom ba bay bay

Strangely enough, though we were dancing, and as out of character for me as this might be… I was enjoying myself thoroughly… even with Gar's random comments of idiocy.

"I heard that bananas are helpful when going through PMS…" he mumbled into my ear. "As is Prozac…"

Pressure pushing down on me,

Pressing down on you no man ask for,

Under pressure,

That burns a building down,

Splits a family in two,

Puts people on streets.

I just rolled my eyes, not allowing his strange form of temporary retardation get in the way of my fun.

"Lollipops didn't always have those little rims, y'know…"

Um ba ba bay

Um ba ba bay

Dee day duh

Ee day duh

"I like chunky vegetable soup…"

It's the terror of knowing

What this world is about,

Watching some good friends

Screaming (Let me out!)

Tomorrow takes me higher,

Pressure on people,

People on streets.

"I sometimes wonder how different my life would've been had I been born one day earlier…"

Day day day

Da da dup bup bup

Okay

"Then, I realize I'd just be asking this question yesterday…"

Chippin' around,

Kick my brains 'round the floor,

These are the days,

It never rains but it pours.

"What the hell we fightin' for?"

Ee do bay bup

Ee do bay ba bup

Ee do bup

Bay bup

"It's not like we're gonna get lollipops or anything…"

People on streets

Dee da dee da day

People on streets

Dee da dee da dee da dee da

"One time, my teacher asked the class; if we could be any animal, which would we wanna be…"

It's the terror of knowing

What this world is about,

Watching some good friends

Screaming (Let me out!)

Tomorrow takes me high high higher

(But you're all people, people on streets)

"I said I'd wanna be a bird…"

Turned away from it all

Like the blind man,

Sat on a fence

But it don't work,

"She asked if it would be so I could fly…"

Keep coming up with love,

But it's so slashed and torn,

Why why why

"I said it was because my shit would be white…"

(Love love love love)

"Plus, I could piss, shit and cum all from the same place…"

Insanity laughs under pressure we're cracking,

Can't we give ourselves one more chance,

Why can't we give love that one more dance,

Why can't we give love give love give love,

Give love give love give love,

Give love give love give love?

"I got sexually harassed by a kangaroo once…"

'Cause love's such an old fashioned word,

And love dares you to care

For the people on the edge of the dark,

(People on the streets)

And love dares you to change our way

Of caring about ourselves,

(People on the streets)

This is our last dance,

"Can you sue a kangaroo for sexual harassment?"

This is our last dance,

This is ourselves

Under pressure,

Under pressure,

As the last lines of the song came and went, we were moving slowly to the bed, though I didn't know until the backs of my knees struck the edge and we fell down upon it. This was due to the fact that my eyes were closed and my attention entirely taken up by the song.

We just lay there for a moment, basking in the warmth of each other's presence. Then, Gar spoke one last time that night.

"This'll be our song from now on…"

Pressure…

I just assumed that he was saying yet another random piece of crap, still in his own little world. But, I opened my eyes for but a moment; but just long enough to see him smiling over at me, pupils at completely regular proportions…

A/N: Okay, that ended up a lil' cheesier than I'd planned. But, I think it was basically good. You gotta admit, funny to the very end! Anyways, I'll try and get the epilogue up ASAP. It's gonna be really long, and as such is taking a little while to write.

Signed,

The Cheese!