Goodbye
Takes place on the night the Half-Blood Prince took flight.
Hollow tears slid down her flushed cheek. She felt as though she had been crying for years when in reality she had simply been crying for one night. It was well beyond midnight and the stars were the only source of light in the sky for several clouds were covering the full moon. Everything around her, the tears, the sky, and all else; it all seemed hollow.
Nobody had known. She didn't even realize how deeply she felt about him until that night. They had been around one another, in secret of course, for the past year. She had seen a different side of him, a side that he kept hidden from all in fear of making himself too vulnerable. He hid behind a darkness, a nefarious mask, so nobody would get to know the real him.
She had seen the real him.
Her body was sore. It was understandable considering the night of hell she had been through. So many death eaters had surrounded her and all she thought about at that moment was whether his beautiful face, his absolutely intoxicating eyes, were hidden behind one of those dark cloaks, all of which she was attempting to end. She hated herself for loving him, for loving a man that was so dark his heart could block out the sun. All she knew was that whatever bit of his heart was not smothered in a bleak cold did belong to her.
When the night of terror had finally ended, before she even figured out what had happened to her friends, she ran away, up to the north astronomy tower. Upon flinging herself outside she sucked in a large gulp of air. Unaware of it at the time, she had been holding her breath practically the whole night. It was there that she saw him leave, fleeing; such a cowardly act for someone so brave.
Yes, he was brave. She knew this for no man, no man in his position at least, could have kept up the affair the way that he did. Unlike her, his life was at stake if they were caught. If anyone, student or member of his clan, found out that he was engaged in a romantic rendevous with her, the muggle-born Gryffindor and Harry Potter's best friend, then it would have been death on his head. She risked her reputation.
He risked his life.
Where had it gotten them? It had gotten them here, her heartbroken and him gone. What was she going to do now? She was a practical witch so thoughts of actually carrying on the romance beyond their seventh and final year seemed unlikely, but she wanted it to happen. She wanted him, out of nowhere, to sweep her up in his arms and tell the world of their love.
Love? She had never even said it to him. She had known that she was in love with him for some time, but never admitted it to herself. It would mean that she had fallen in love with the enemy, fallen in love with a death eater...
Fallen in love with Draco Malfoy.
Tap!
She practically fell over when she heard the noise, but calmed herself upon realizing that it was just an owl holding a dingy piece of paper between its claws. It was odd to see the bird like that with feathers ruffled and no holster to carry the letter. She did not recognize the owl, nor did she care, but she pet it with a gentleness all the same. It was in her nature to be gentle.
The note was in her hand, scrunched up and torn, as the owl soured back into the night sky. She held her breath as she hoped, Merlin did she hope, that the letter might just be from–
Hermione,
I can never ask you to forgive me for what I have done. I have committed an act so atrocious that I doubt even you can forgive me. I know that you have always known about my involvement, but I don't believe you ever truly thought of me as you must see me now. I can only hope that you remember me the way I was before this night.
The night is all that I have left. By tomorrow I will be gone and there is, unfortunately, no way for me to prevent this. I only have one night and all of my thoughts are revolving around you.
If you can spend the night, this one final night with me, then it would be my only wish come true. I can't expect this to happen, nor do I expect your forgiveness, but I can hope. I know that a future with you can never be, but one night can occur. If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, if only for one night, then I would be forever in debt to the lucky star I was born under. Please Hermione, I beg of you and you damn well know that I am not one to beg, come to me tonight. I am in the heart of the forbidden forest where we shared our first kiss and I will stay in this spot until dawn. After that, I fear I cannot stay longer.
I will wait for you. Whether you come or not, know that you'll always be a part of me Hermione.
Forever yours,
Draco
Tears were flooding her face, many of them running the ink on the paper, as she folded the note neatly. Her brown eyes lifted up to look at the night sky glowing in an ambiance that she would have loved on any other night. It was the sort of night that she would spend with him. There had been many occasions where she snuck out of the Gryffindor tower to meet him on the edge of the forest cloaked in all black. He would take her on his broom to ride throughout the night, in complete silence. Being near her was all that he seemed to need. She wanted so much to go back to those nights.
Her brain and her heart were battling in a duel that could have matched the one she and Draco engaged themselves in on the first night of their rendevous. She thought back to that night and the following year that had led her to that moment...
Hermione had been up late in the library. Four large and rather old books were surrounding her considering that they were only days away from their OWLs. From Muggle Studies to Transfiguration, the books were in front of her informing her of all the things she already knew. It was pointless for her to study, anyone could have told her that, but she studied in spite of them. Her marks were only high because she had always been a diligent person. Hermione had bloody earned those marks.
She only removed her eyes from the books when she heard an annoyed grunt echo from across the empty room. It shocked her to see Draco Malfoy even though she knew in the back of her mind that it shouldn't have. He was the second top student of her year and always had been. It seemed only fitting the two smartest people of the year were the only two studying in the library, a room created for the expansion of knowledge.
Draco Malfoy looked flustered and frustrated as he flipped through the pages of an advanced potions book. Hermione had always been envious of him with his ability to be so talented at potions. She used to blame it on the favoritism that Professor Snape seemed to give him, but through the years she came to realize that he was just that good at the subject. It was a talent really and one that he was born with for nobody that good could have acquired the ability to be so masterful; not even Hermione.
Hermione, who had angered herself with the envious thoughts of his potions skills, slammed her advanced Muggle Studies book open on the table with a brute force. Not only did the table shake, but the room was filled with the incredible thud. Just as she expected, Draco lifted his head looking disgruntled by the disturbance.
Hermione casually disregarded the sigh, or what could have been considered a growl, that came from the blond boy across the room and began reading the words on the page. At that point, she wasn't even really absorbing the information. When it finally occurred to her to snap out of her daze, she realized that she had read the same page five times.
Her hand slammed the book again making him look up at her reiterating his annoyance. It was then that he took a page from her own book and slammed his shut. Hermione's eyes went wide as she looked up meeting his fierce gaze.
Slam!
Slam!
Slam!
Slam!
SLAM!
"Will you stop it you infuriating mudblood?!" he barked rising to his feet. Hermione, who had always detested his use of such a fowl word, rose from her seat as well. "I do believe that I was here studying long before you so will you kindly be quiet? I can't bloody think with you being this way?!"
"Malfoy are you even aware that we're in a library. Perhaps if you would keep your heavy sighs down then I wouldn't have to slam my book in order to get your attention to stop you from such annoyances."
"Granger the only one causing a disturbance in this room is you!" he hissed through tight teeth, clenching and unclenching his fists all the while. He was so angry that his pale face and calm demeanor had left him, taken over by a red-hued dander. Hermione had never seen him so mad.
"Malfoy I suggest you be quiet. Some of us are actually trying to study and not simply getting mad at the books like others."
Draco dropped the book that had been in his left hand and strode over in her direction. Hermione's throat felt suddenly dry as she watched the boy, with the body of a man given the fact that he was, as evident through his clothing, well built and a solid six foot, stride over to her. It was one of those rare times she actually wished that Madam Pince, the callous librarian, was around considering Draco looked ferociously angry. She had never seen him lose control like that.
Upon reaching her location, he looked enraged enough to kill. She found herself backing up subconsciously. He just looked so...scary.
Suddenly she could move no further for she found herself pressed against a bookshelf and blocked all around. Draco's face was an inch from hers, his hot breath coming out in erratic spirts on her neck.
Her heart felt as though it was beating in her mouth as she stared at the icy, blue eyes of Draco Malfoy. It was as though his eyes were chilling her, chilling her very soul. His mouth was pursing in a manner which showed all of his angered emotions, but he was not speaking nor was he moving. He was just staring at her with a look of loathing.
Suddenly and swiftly, he pulled away from the blockade he had formed around her and turned back to his table. His hands quickly moved to the table and he threw his books hastily into his bag. When the area was finally cleaned as though leaving no trace of evidence that he had actually been there, he flung his bag over his shoulder and strode out of the library.
Hermione had never felt more confused...
After that, they had begun to see each other often in the library exchanging glances until the end of their fifth year. When sixth year had finally arrived, Hermione found herself flinging to the library actually wanting to see him. Their relationship was strictly based on eye contact, but it did not matter. Something about staring into his cold eyes intoxicated her; she was addicted to Draco Malfoy.
It wasn't until October that they had acknowledged one another with words. He had grown so frustrated with her that he had literally yanked her out of the library, down the various corridors, out of the front gates of the castle, and into the dark forbidden forest. She, naturally, had fought him the entire way, but to no avail; Draco was much stronger than her. He didn't let go of her until they reached the center of the forest and upon doing so, he was met with her hand against his cheek. He stared at her with utmost fury and her rage-filled eyes stared right back. Before either of them knew what was happening, they were kissing frantically, as though the others' kiss had suddenly become a solid substitute for breathing.
From that point on, they had continued to meet in secret. They both discovered so much about the other. Draco came to realize that she was not the annoying bookworm that he had always seen her as and realized that she was actually a beautiful girl whose listening abilities were far better than he could ever ask for. Hermione came to realize that he was not the arrogant prat that she had always seen him as and realized that he was actually an incredible guy whose funny side outshone all of his faults. She always thought, bitterly, that if she was a pureblood then she could have certainly found herself befriending him for her entire attendance at Hogwarts.
Finally she had broken herself away from her memories to realize that she only had a short time. If she was going to go to him, then she had to go right then. The duel between her brain and heart had ended.
Her heart won.
Her feet moved with the speed of a gazelle, but with the grace and agility of a cat. Her feet took her to the Gryffindor common room where she was met with stares and fearful yells. They all began to question her, but she ignored their pleas for information and ran up the staircase. She launched herself into her room which she shared with two other Gryffindor, sixth year girls and slid on her knees by the bed. She pulled out a small black box and opened it before throwing the contents inside on her bed. Her hands sifted through the assortment of materials before finding what she wanted. She promptly stuffed it into her pocket and took off running.
It only took a matter of minutes, but it felt like hours before she had finally found herself outside. So many thoughts were running through her head. Would he really be there? Would he be alone? What if someone follows us?
Her thoughts were gone when she realized that she was in the heart of the forest, in the same spot where she first felt his lips on hers, and yet just as she feared–he wasn't there.
A sob was wrenched from her throat as she fell to her knees overwrought with heartache. He wasn't there. The boy she finally admitted to loving was not there. The boy that had stolen her heart without an ounce of remorse was not there. The boy–
"Hermione."
Her brown eyes lifted up, away from her palms, to see Draco right there. He bent down in front of her, worry all over his face and fatigue in his eyes, holding out a shaking hand towards her. Hermione completely lost it.
Her body flung herself on him. One would have though she would have plastered the man she loved with kisses and caresses, but she did no so thing. She plastered him with slaps.
"How could you–"
SLAP!
"–be so stupid–"
SLAP!
"–and cold-hearted–"
SLAP!
"–and not even–"
SLAP!
"–think about me!"
SLAP!
Her body collapsed on his. She clung to him, crying into his chest, as he kept his head down in the dirt basking in the pain. He did not flinch when she had hit him, and in the name of Merlin could she hit hard, but took it. He deserved it. He knew that he deserved it.
Her tears drenched the upper part of his shirt into a soggy mess which was sticking to his skin. He sighed before tangling his left hand into her unruly hair. Her incoherent mumbles were lost into his chest, but they were rather unnecessary. Draco already knew her grievances with him.
It was not him that had actually committed the act of killing Dumbledore, but his involvement was there. It was him who had allowed the death eaters to enter and it was him who cornered the weakened man before Snape ended him entirely. He did not blame the girl for being angry with him.
"Why?" she finally asked soundly lifting her face from his chest, finally allowing their eyes to meet. Draco felt his heart shattering as he stared at her, this perfectly beautiful girl, knowing that he had caused her to be in such a despairing state. He had done this to his Hermione.
"I wish I had an answer for you," he mumbled looking down.
"No!" she screamed shifting her body off of his and allowing her arms to prop herself up. "You do know. Tell me why would you do this to me? To us?!"
"Hermione it was never about you. This was never about you and you damn well knew that. You saw the dark mark and you knew all the while what I do."
"Silly me, I thought maybe I'd be worth changing for."
"Stop it," he hissed, sitting up as well. "You know how much I care for you and don't ever say that again. I would do anything for you–"
"Then why didn't you just love me?! Why did you have to do this?!"
"Because Hermione I had no choice!"
She pulled herself away from him and yanked her legs up to herself crashing her chin down upon her knees. It was as though she formed a protective ball, a shield, which could protect her from all forms of harm. She was mad at him. She felt betrayed by him. She hated him.
But she loved him. Merlin, she loved him.
Draco sighed, a mixture of overwhelming stress and longing to make things right. His hand brushed against her cheek, but she pushed his hand away. That little bit of anger managed to make Draco feel like ending his own life right then.
"Hermione I know you hate me and I can't begin to fathom how you could not. I did this and now I have to face it. I can't ask for your forgiveness. I know that we can never be. So I'll just be grateful that I got to see you one last time. I'll take that and no matter what happens, I'll always at least have the fact that you did come to me tonight even if it was just to slap me. That alone is enough to get me through."
A silent tear tread down her puffy cheek as she listened to him move away from her. His words cut into her deeper than he'd ever know. Not because of how right they were, but because of how wrong they were.
"Draco I'm not here because I hate you," she breathed making him stop. He faced her as she rose to her feet meeting his blue eyes. "I'm here because I love you."
She had never seen, nor did she expect to see, Draco do what he was doing. She saw a tear escape from his eye and slide down his dirty face. All other thoughts were gone as she ran to him. He embraced her in a fierce hold kissing her passionately. He found his back pressed against a tree as he held her close to his body feeling her wondrous heat radiating off and into him. His hands were touching her back as her lips parted allowing him to drag his tongue along inside of her lower lip.
There were no longer thoughts of tomorrow and no longer thoughts of the past; only that moment.
He slid down against the tree, scrapping his back against the bark without feeling any pain as he took her with him. He landed on the ground tugging her petite frame onto his lap and gripping her with such force that he was sure he was crushing her against him. She did not, however, say anything about it. She only felt his touch, felt his longing embrace and that was enough for her to keep her feelings at bay.
Both of their lips were swollen and bruised from kissing with such brutal force. Hermione was quite sure that she had bit his lip for she tasted the familiar flavor of blood in her mouth, but neither of them addressed it. They were not only caught up with each other, but silence was just logical between them. They never really expressed themselves through words. It had always been natural for them to simply speak through silence.
His hands found the hem of her blue shirt and were inching it up quickly. The contact of his skin on hers was almost mind numbing. She did not have much time to think about it for in that next instance, her shirt was gone, thrown askew behind her. Her body was cold from the night air although she ignored it. Draco's body heat was enough to keep her warm.
Her hands, which had traveled beyond the various stains on his shirt (from Merlin knows what) had met the bottom. She lifted his torn shirt off of his body and threw it behind her before crashing her lips onto his again. His mouth continued to soothe her with his hands reaching the clasp of her bra, snapping it quickly. He removed the white material and lost his breath at the sight of her.
"Merlin you're beautiful," he whispered, barely audible. She blushed, but his hand met her face forcing her to look at him. "Hermione you're a goddess. Please, know that I mean that."
She smiled lightly knowing that it was the most honest thing that he had ever said to her, if not ever. She suddenly realized that it was the best time to do it. She reached down to her pocket and pulled out the object she had grabbed only minutes before meeting him there.
She took the silver chain in her hands before wrapping it around his neck. Draco looked from the necklace, a thin chain adorned with only a silver 'H', back up to her eyes. She looked rather shy as she fastened it around his neck.
"'Mione?"
"It's the only thing I can give you. I just want you to remember me, remember us. Please just take it and...know that I'm always thinking of you."
A few more tears slipped down her face, but he wiped them away with his rugged thumb. He lifted her chin and met her gaze with one of kindness; her heart melted.
"Thank you. Thank you, love." She smiled meekly at him before leaning back in and capturing his lips again. As soon as their bare chests met, they were both gone. No more thoughts engulfed them as they made love for the first and final time.
He hated himself. He hated himself for leaving her like that, but he had to. It had taken him several minutes to detach himself from her limbs, her absolutely gorgeous limbs, without disturbing her. She had been asleep in his safe embrace on top of his black cloak, but he knew he couldn't stay like that. He knew that if he did not leave then, well then he would never leave. He wanted to spend the rest of his life like that, but after what he had done...well he was amazed that he even got to spend that last night with her.
Dawn was only minutes away and he knew he had to report back to the Dark Lord who was eager to kill him for not completing his mission. He knew that they would be out for blood since it had been Snape who had killed Dumbledore. He cursed himself for not doing it, but at the same time was rather grateful. If he had, he certainly wouldn't have gotten this last night with Hermione. He would have lived, but it would have come at a price. As long as he didn't commit the act, he still got her. She was worth it.
He was fully dressed complete with the gift that Hermione had given him. He would never take it off. He would face the Dark Lord wearing the jewel, wearing a part of Hermione's love. It was that which would get him through it. He could stand to do it knowing that she loved him. He finally meant something to someone. It was enough to get him through anything.
After writing her his last farewell letter, he placed his own gift to her on top of the tattered paper. He had gotten the gift long ago in hopes of one day being able to give it to her. The logical part of his brain told him not to waste his time with dreams of being with her in the long run; it was not practical. However, those dreams are what kept him sane. He was dark; haunted in mind, body, and soul. The good piece of his heart that was not corrupted was only there because of her. She had managed to save that last bit of innocence in him. Hermione Granger had managed to keep the kind part of Draco's spirit alive.
He wrapped his cloak around her tightly before he gently kissed her forehead.
"I love you Hermione. I'll always love you."
With that, he was gone.
Hermione didn't wake until well after he had left. Sunlight was sifting through the trees to light up 'their spot'. The girl sat up still wrapped up in his heavy cloak looking around for him. She knew that he was gone. That was evident enough considering she woke up alone, but she looked none the less. She wanted to see him and hope was dying as she scanned the forest.
He was gone.
Her eyes fell upon the letter that he had placed next to her. She grabbed the note, ignoring the small box that had been on top of it, and ripped it open. She scanned the paper feeling her heart break with each passing word.
Hermione, my love,
I will never be able to put into words what I feel right now, but I'll attempt to none the less. This last night with you was the best of my life. I can genuinely say that I just experienced the most incredible moment of my life with you and because of you. Thank you for this, love. Thank you so much for allowing me one night of sheer and complete bliss. For one moment in time, I was in a utopia.
I'm sorry that we only shared this for one night. Know that I would have loved to have ravished you for the rest of our lives, but we're both realistic enough to know that it can never be. When it comes to the end, you're good and I'm evil. That is what separates us.
Hermione I love you and it's because of your goodness that I'm able to love you. The part of me that was not corrupted, that was not evil, was only alive because of you. I remember you giving me that book by Charles Dickens, The Pickwick Papers, and you telling me how wonderful it is. Not only did I read it, but I truly embraced it and learned from it. The man wrote that, "There are dark shadows on the earth, but its lights are stronger in the contrast." I was the shadow and you were my light. You were able to save that little bit of my soul Hermione and I thank you.
I wanted so much to give you the gift inside of that box. It was always a dream of mine to give it to someone worthy and willing such as yourself, but I'm afraid that the dream is long gone. All I can do now is hope that you do accept it and know that I'll always be with you.
Be happy Hermione. Please do not mourn for me or even worry yourself over me. I chose this fate for myself and now I must pay the price. You, on the other hand, are swimming with goodness. Take that goodness and defeat what I helped promote. You're better than me Hermione. You deserve a world better than the one I'm in. Defeat what I couldn't resist.
Please don't say goodbye. Goodbye is final and I don't believe that we'll never see each other again. You believe in hope and I want to keep that alive for you. This is not a goodbye letter, but a pledge; a pledge of my love. We'll see each other again whether it be in death or who knows...perhaps in the future.
I love you Hermione. Always know that I love you.
Forever yours,
Draco
She shut her eyes tightly upon finishing the words. It always seemed ironic to her that such an icy heart was able to write with such sincerity and heartfelt conviction. His words were poetry and words that would stay with her forever.
Finally she looked at the black box next to her. She picked it up feeling the velvet material rub against her fingers. Another tear escaped her auburn eyes as she opened the box to reveal the most beautiful ring that she had ever seen. An elegant, tear-dropped shaped diamond was sitting placidly in the box. It was an engagement ring. He had wanted to marry her.
She slid the tiny jewel on her left ring finger and kissed it lovingly. She had given him her body, her virginity, which was the greatest gift she ever planned on giving anyone. Draco had taken her in such a way that she knew he was grateful for it. In return, he had given her the only gift he could–
The piece of his heart that was good.
Nobody ever asked her where she had gone that night. When she had returned, she was an entirely different person. They all saw the ring yet they never asked. Harry, Ron, and Ginny never asked her knowing her better than most; they knew she wouldn't tell them even if they did ask. Her heart belonged to another and from the looks of it, they figured that it always would. They just hoped through time she would tell them who.
She never did.
Years passed and before she knew it, the war was over. Harry had defeated Voldemort in a battle that would go down in wizarding history books forever. Hermione had done her fair share, keeping true to what Draco wanted her to do. To the best of her ability, she stopped what he could not resist. She helped end what he hated himself so much for.
It was with the ending of the war that she was able to search for him. She knew that he was gone, but it wasn't until she actually saw his grave that it was confirmed. Staring at the letters written in the most beautiful of scriptures...well, she felt broken all over.
Draco Malfoy
1979-1995
"I found redemption in a brown-eyed girl"
-Draco's dying words
Hermione was in shock initially when she read it finding it so shocking that his last thoughts had been of her. However, she realized that she should not have been shocked. The final moments of a person's life are when one's true self comes out without any lies or inhibiting facades. He was honest when he told her that he loved her. He had taken it to the grave with him.
Nobody would ever know that she had been that brown-eyed girl.
She would have cried had any tears been left in her. The war had completely drained her of all outer emotions. The only thing she could do was sigh and press her hand on the cold stone.
"Goodbye Draco..."
A/N: I don't normally do one-shots, but I recently watched the movie William Shakespeare's Romeo + Juliet and it kind of sparked the inspiration.
READ AND REVIEW!! If you can read it, then you can review it.
Goodbye is the work of fanfiction. The characters belong to J.K. Rowling, but the featured story is mine.