18: Love(sic)

"I want to be yours," she whispered in the dark, her thumb rubbing small circles into the back of his hand. "Forever."

"Forever is too short," he responded wistfully, reaching out his other hand to caress the outline of her cheek. "Not even immortality would be enough time to show you how much I love you."

She sighed happily. "It's a start."

He slid his hand down to her waist and pulled her closer, until her head was resting under his chin. She snuggled into him, wrapping her arms and legs around his body. They were warm underneath the blanket, but not for anything in the world was he going to move.

Smiling, he kissed the top of her head and drifted off to sleep.

"Yuugi," she called softly when he wouldn't lift his face. "Yuugi, look at me."

He continued to stubbornly stare at the floor, feeling his shame heat his cheeks. Oh, how he wanted to fall through the floorboards at that instant.

"Yuugi," she called again, taking a slow step forward, and then another, and then another, until she was too close for him to ignore anymore. She reached out a hand and gently lifted his chin, meeting his pained gaze with her hurt one. "Do you see me?"

He did see her.

She was clad in the sheerest nightgown he'd ever seen, the black fabric clinging to her form like a second skin. Hell, he didn't even need an imagination when looking at her like this. Every inch of her stood in front of him, exposed.

Even more transparent however were her thoughts. He could sense her teetering on the edge, how her feelings hung suspended over the abyss that he had created, and most of all, how fragile her very soul was.

"Do you want to touch me?"

He knew that she wanted him to. How she yearned to have his passionate mouth cover every part of her; how she wanted him to consume her in the way only he could. He was fully aware she had desired nothing else in the two years they had been together; in the year they had lived together and shared a bed.

Yuugi drew a shaky breath and shook his head once. But he couldn't give this to her. This was the flaw that he did not know how to fix between them. An itch that had started almost imperceptibly and left him in denial for the longest time; a scratch that had spread gradually through his system and left him intoxicated; a fire across his body that had poisoned his relationship and left him with only bitterness in his mouth.

"Will you ever want to touch me?" she breathed. He could feel her trembling before him.

He made himself look her in the eye again, knowing she deserves far more than he could ever give her. He slowly shook his head again. But the hope was still on her face, so he made himself continue. "Never."

Her face crumpled at that but she held her composure together, refusing to let the tears fall. He watched her, his heart breaking, even as he knew he had to shatter hers to end things with finality. This never-ending game between them with its nebulous rules had been played out again and again over the last several months.

They had oscillated between one extreme of love and the other of heartache so many times, he'd lost count. Their relationship had become a hanging tooth in his mouth; something he knew he needed to yank out but couldn't bring himself into. It was a burden she carried too, utterly in denial about the toll it was taking on her even though he could see the dark circles marring her beautiful skin, the drawn, worn look her face had assumed. She deserved better. He had to pull it together and do what only he could.

"I never wanted to, Tea," he spoke quietly, deliberately, without emotion. In his stoicism, he refused to break eye contact with her and was forced to watch her feelings splinter behind her mask. He knew her too well. Goddamnit. Now he would have to use that knowledge to a loathsome end.

Taking two steps back, Yuugi put a sneer on his face then. "And I never will. How could I?" – He gestured to her in disgust – "You've been throwing yourself at me for so long, couldn't you get a hint already? There is just nothing about you that I find attractive, no matter how many times I've tried to take one for the team."

"What?" her voice broke. She stood before him, shivering in her flimsy gown. He hated the way her skin prickled in the cold air, the way she silently clenched her fists, and the way her shoulders trembled preriodically. He wanted to wrap her in his arms and warm her.

"You heard me," he replied instead. He gave an exaggerated sigh. "Honestly, I was hoping we could just end this civilly but not all of us know how to take the high road, it seems. Honestly, by this point, you should understand that other people more beautiful are better suited to my tastes." – He raised an eyebrow, twisting one side of his mouth down – "Speaking of tasteless, why don't you get dressed already? You're an eyesore."

"Ryou?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. He knew what she was implying.

"Oh yes, Ryou is a perfect example," he said mockingly. All the other men he'd taken to bed during their relationship flashed through his mind for an overwhelming instant. Forcing the thought away, he planted his hands on his hips and scoffed, "Is that why you've been so obsessed with what I did during our last break?"

She didn't say anything this time.

"Well fine, the jig is up," he continued, threw his hands up dramatically. "I was doing him! And he has enough self-confidence not to prance around like a whore in front of me."

She flinched at that, trailing one hand weakly down the side of her gown. When she looked at him again, she tilted her head to the side in one silent question, her eyes glistened with the tears she wouldn't spill. He began counting internally as he watched her lips tremble. When he reached twenty and she still hadn't moved, he stepped forward and shoved her. Hard.

As she tumbled to the ground gracelessly, too stunned to defend herself, he began wishing he could die. Instead he scoffed, brushing invisible dirt off his arm where she had previously touched him.

"This," he pronounced, curling his lip, "is officially over."

Yuugi strode through the apartment, his footsteps echoing in the empty space, as he took in one last look, trying to preserve everything in his mind exactly as it was.

He took a deep breath before glancing into the bedroom, a place full of so many memories even bare as it stood now. At the edges of his vision, he could almost see the dresser that had stood there, the curtains, the nightstands, the bed…

He quickly walked out of the room.

When he had finished his final tour and mentally wished all the luck to the next tenants, it took all his strength to calmly walk out of the apartment and close the door, his body rigid. As he turned to leave, however, a wave of fatigue overwhelmed him and he momentarily sunk back against the door, eyes closed.

If being true to himself was so painful, was it even worth it? He wondered for the thousandth time about what he was doing, thumping the back of his head against the door in frustration.

Well, he sure hoped to hell it was worth it, because there was no going back, no undoing all the shit he'd already done, no erasing all the pain he had caused.

He gave himself a mental shake as he straightened away from the door and rubbed the back of his head. There was no more room for self-doubts. And fucking hell, if he had already sold his soul for this new life, then he was damn well going to enjoy every damn minute of it.

"Hello, my name is Yuugi," he muttered under his breath, stomping down the hallway, discarding regrets with each step. "Abomination to god and general pervert at large. It's nice to meet you!"

Drifting in and out of his memories, Yuugi stared listlessly out the window of Ryou's apartment, wrapped in the knit blanket Ryou had left him in while in the kitchen. As the setting sun shone on the street, Yuugi watched the people below scurry like ants about their business. He envied their confidence and purpose, for he had none in that moment.

He felt lost.

Painful as it was to admit, Tea was just the latest in a succession of people's lives he had irreparably ruined trying to live his own. Yuugi squeezed his eyes tight, and silently recited once more the secret list woven into his soul of the people he had damned. When he was finished, he added Tea's and Jou's name to the end.

What a monster he was, he remarked to himself, staring at his hands. So clean and yet so stained with so many mistakes.

What horrible things he had been the catalyst to.

"Here we are," Ryou called as he stepped out of the kitchen. He was carrying a tray of steaming teacups and small sandwiches as he walked precariously, stepping around the belongings scattered haphazardly across the living room floor. "I know we skipped breakfast, so we definitely have to eat some lunch today. It's, uh" – he looked uncomfortable as he glanced sideways at his friend – "necessary for the exercise we performed last night."

"Unless you're hell bent on spending the night retching into the toilet," he added lightly, knowing it was a poor attempt at humor even as it came out of his mouth. Confirming his thought, Yuugi didn't react at all.

His trance was broken when Ryou lifted one of the teacups and placed it in his hands. Mechanically, Yuugi lifted it up and took a sip.

The next moment he hissed and dropped the teacup back on the tray, his lips and tongue throbbing. He stared at the cup in his hands as if it had bitten him. When Yuugi made no move to wipe the tea dribbling out of the corners of his mouth, Ryou reached over instead, murmuring a gentle warning about the heat. Yuugi ignored him, eyes returning to the street, tea already forgotten.

Ryou sighed, extending one of the sandwiches towards the other man.

"Please?" he implored, nudging Yuugi's closest arm. When Yuugi shifted slightly, he nudged again a couple times. Finally, Yuugi gave in and picked up the sandwich to take a hesitant bite out of it. After a moment, he swallowed and took another.

Appeased, Ryou leaned back in his armchair across from his friend. He sighed. "Oh Yuugi…"

"Why?" Yuugi's raspy voice broke the quiet. Ryou shifted forward again to hear his quiet voice better, one hand reaching out to rest on Yuugi's knee. "Why aren't you as fucking shattered as I am, Ryou?"

Ryou thinned his lips as he thought of his response, one hand tenderly rubbing circles into Yuugi's knee. Finally, he settled on the truth. "Because this isn't the first time for me."

"What do you mean?" Yuugi asked, momentarily surfacing from his stupor. Ryou was too relieved to see him talking to remember to downplay his answer.

"Last time he took one of my party friends," Ryou replied before he realized what he was saying. But they both knew who this 'he' was referring to. They both also knew what 'took' meant.

"What?" Yuugi rejoined sharply. He straightened from his slouch.

"And you just let it happen?" he sputtered, a new outrage temporarily pushing out the old emotions. Some of his old personality resurfaced at that moment. "Like 'oh it's fine, we just liked to dance together. Totally cool. I have others.' I mean-," – Yuugi sputtered again, finding himself at a loss for words – "I mean, Ryou. Come on. Seriously?"

"Yes," was the point-blank response. Ryou blinked at him and shrugged with one shoulder. "What do you think I could have done?"

Yuugi didn't respond to that. His mouth still hung open as he stared at Ryou, his anger faltering.

"Once you're bonded," Ryou explained, knowing it was important for Yuugi to hear this, "there is no way you will ever go against Yami or his kind every again. He is all-powerful. And you belong to him now."

"Belong?" Yuugi questioned, doubt evident in his tone. "Are we really going to use such a strong word for this? I mean, ju-"

"Yes, Yuugi," Ryou cut him off, frustrated. But he added more gently, "You are his, now and forever.

"And that means, all you can do each year," he continued, watching Yuugi's face intently, "is just grit your teeth during the renewal" – Yuugi flinched – "and make peace with the departed souls."

They stared at one another then, Yuugi pale with shock and Ryou red with exertion, breathing hard as he recovered from his tirade. Wordlessly, Yuugi lifted up the teacup still balanced on his lap and took another mouthful. He was faintly pleased to find it had cooled.

A couple minutes passed in silence, the ticking off the clock on the wall and Yuugi's intermittent sipping the only sounds in the apartment. Ryou resolutely locked gazes with his friend, wordlessly waiting for Yuugi to understand.

Finally, Yuugi reached out a shaking hand and placed it over the one Ryou had kept on his knee, and with the other, placed the empty teacup on nearby table.

"Boy, I've really got myself into some trouble this time, huh?" Yuugi tried to break the silence, a watery smile finding its way to his lips. "And to think, you've been dealing with this for several years now without me knowing."

Ryou nodded once, his expression softening as he realized Yuugi was trying.

"I wanna say you should've told me, but that would make me a broken record, now wouldn't it?" Yuugi continued softly. Ryou turned his hand in Yuugi's grip and squeezed it in reassurance. "So better to say, we're both in the hot water this time, right?" he continued. Ryou made a noise in agreement.

Yuugi abruptly frowned, looking down at his legs.

"Ryou, this is hard for me to admit," – Ryou shifted forward to hear Yuugi's voice, almost inaudible in his difficulty – "Really hard for me to admit, actually."

"Mm?" Ryou encouraged, rubbing one thumb slowly across the skin on Yuugi's hand.

"I was in Yami's head when it happened and I felt what he felt," Yuugi made himself say it, but found he couldn't meet Ryou's gaze. He squeezed his eyes shut, forcing himself to continue. "I know he chose the human furthest away from civilization to minimize the damage. I know how painful it was for him to go through that, just as I know it was the most euphoric night of my life. And I know how shackled he feels to his existence and the role he assumed. I know it because last night, I was him."

Ryou remained silent, but brought his other hand forward so he could hold both of Yuugi's. He nodded in agreement even though Yuugi couldn't see him.

"But more than anything, oh god, more than anything, I know that he hates himself for all this. And Ryou," Yuugi opened his eyes and looked at his friend through the tears streaming down his face, "knowing all that, I don't hate him."

Ryou squeezed his hands harder.

"I can't hate him," Yuugi sobbed. "He killed someone who used to be the most important person in my life and I can't hate him. I feel sorry for him. Fuck it all, I pity him!"

Ryou stood up then and enveloped Yuugi in his arms.

"He killed her and I want to forgive him," Yuugi wailed into Ryou's sweater, desperately clutching his blanket. "I want to make him understand that I understand. I want him to know he isn't alone. Ryou," he lifted his face and looked at his friend in abject misery. "I'm so fucked up. I have feelings for a murderer. What the fuck is wrong with me?"

Unexpectedly, a giggle escaped Ryou before he could stop himself.

Yuugi jerked his head up and stared wide-eyed at his friend, bewildered. Before he could react, Ryou let out another giggle and Yuugi lowered his brow, irritated. Ryou giggled again. As Yuugi opened his mouth to snap, Ryou felt himself cracked and let out the hysterical laughter he'd been holding in.

"Yuugi-" he tried after a moment, trying to catch his breath but only succeeding in laughing again. "Yuugi, if you're fucked up because you love a murderer, what do you think that makes me?"

At Yuugi's blank expression, Ryou just shook his head. "Who do you think has been with Yami this entire time, casually murdering people left and right whenever they got too close to their home base?"

"That's not…the same," Yuugi protested.

"Oh yes, it is," Ryou chuckled darkly as the general absurdity of the situation became apparent to him. The growing dark, his apartment, their boyfriends, Yuugi crying in his living room, the sopping mess that his sweater had become…It was all just too much. "Bakura is an even more frequent executioner than Yami, so you want to talk about repeat offenders?" – He snorted – "There's your man. Or, vampire. Whatever.

"Anyway, the point is," Ryou looked at Yuugi and shook his head again, feeling his shoulders slump, "I am helplessly in love with him and am willing to endure any amount of pain to be with him. You're fucked up? Well, I'm a fucking monster then."

Yuugi just gaped at him.

"God, to be honest, I don't even care anymore," Ryou admitted, feeling braver now that he had said it out loud. "Plenty of people die all the time in this world for a billion different reasons. I just happen to know what one of those reasons is. So fuck it. Fuck it sideways. Fuck it up the ass. Fuck it with a goddamn pogo stick. I don't care anymore."

Yuugi didn't say anything in response. For a time, they just held on to each other in silence. After about fifteen minutes, Ryou's clock chimed the hour.

Still in his friend's arms, Yuugi let out a small chuckle of his own and Ryou looked down at him, exasperated. "What, you think being friends with a murderer's accomplice is funny?"

"As a murderer's accomplice myself, yes."

"Well," Ryou paused, then sagged in defeat. "I suppose it is funny."

"Just a bit," Yuugi agreed.

Ryou lifted Yuugi's chin with one hand. "You get why I didn't tell you any of this from the start?"

"…Yeah…"

"Oh Yuugi," Ryou groaned. "We're quite the mental patients, aren't we?"

"Yep."

"Great."

"Shuddup," Yuugi grumbled, but after a moment's hesitation, smiled at his friend. "I don't think I'd have it any other way."

Yami sat curled in his cloak on the window seat, watching the people on the street below go about their lives. He had secluded himself in one of the palace towers, digesting the feelings Yuugi had flooded him with.

Unfortunately, he found himself befuddled more times than not and not wanting Bakura to realize how clueless he actually was, had cancelled the day's plans and excused himself. It was bad enough that Bakura understand enough of his experiences lately to take advantage of them; Yami certainly wasn't going to offer him more ammo than he already had.

Though still he wondered if Bakura's smirk on his way out should be seen as a foreboding of annoyances to come. Yami tched, impatiently pulling a hand out of his cloak to rest his chin on. That one was always trouble at the most inopportune times.

How much easier it would be if Bakura would just calm down and help him unravel the tangled tempest in his mind; something that Yami knew he was more than capable of, given their mental familiarity. But no, that was not an option here; Yami started drumming his fingers restlessly against his chin. Alas, today he was destined to weather the storm of Yuugi's emotions alone. Perhaps more of a lightning storm, he corrected.

He had lost count of the number of directions the emotions wind bursts in his mind that taken him. He had endured the hysterical laughter until his muscles ached from clenching so hard. He had also suffered through a blanket irritation that had continuously disrupted his calm as soon as he composed it. And he had withstood the sinking horror that accompanied a realization that something shocking had occurred. As these were familiar sensations, Yami had managed to greet them like friends and redirect their flow through his body.

But what had bitten into him hardest of all, and what he was still riding out, was the private sensation of overwhelming grief pouring out of Yuugi in droves. Yami grit his teeth as he maintained his hold on his patience; in distraction, remarking how the human emotion of grief so closely mirrored that of love, both intertwined in a delicate, intimate strand that grew outward from Yuugi's heart.

Yami dropped his head into his hands and hissed in frustration. It was impossible to understand this one little being, this itsy bitsy man who was allowed to inundate him with so much light.

"You sure you're going to be alright?" Ryou asked for the fifth time. He didn't want Yuugi to leave, concerned as he was for Yuugi's state of mind, but he knew he couldn't stop his friend once his mind was made up. "Maybe I should walk you home."

"I'll be fine," Yuugi reassured him, patting his shoulder. "I feel better than earlier, and I only live like thirty minutes away by bus. Don't worry. Plus, I've made it home under worse conditions, right?"

Ryou winced. "I don't know if being stabbed and barely making it to a homeless shelter counts."

"Well okay, maybe not," Yuugi agreed, nodding, "Bad example. But same difference. I'll be fine."

"If you're sure," Ryou pursed his lips.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Yuugi promised. He turned to leave, but then remembering something, spun back around to grab Ryou by the shoulders. "And thank you. For being the best friend I've ever had."

Ryou felt his face turn pink as he replied. "Always."

Chuckling, Yuugi walked down the hallway and out of sight.

When he got to the street, he dismissed the bus idea and just began walking in the general direction of his apartment across town. Finally being outside, he realized the fresh air was exactly what he needed to clear his head – and more importantly, the turmoil in his heart. So stuffing his hands into his jacket pockets, he began his walk and let his mind roam again.

It was obvious that Jou would never know the truth, he acknowledged with a grimace. Even if he truthfully was better off not knowing, the thought of leaving events unresolved made him feel nauseated.

Oh Tea…

His pace slowed as his thoughts drifted back to her. Now, she would never have a chance to find the happiness she so desperately deserved. He would never have the chance to win her back into his life, the steadfast friend who had stood by him no matter what the end. Until the day he had so despicably shoved her away. Yuugi felt a tear drop on his cheek before he realized he was crying again.

Strangers began giving him curious looks as he walked by and irritated, Yuugi turned down an empty side street for privacy. Thankfully to be alone, he had just finished wiping his face and regaining his composure when he suddenly stopped, feeling a peculiar sort of presence.

Before he could take his next breath, hands wrapped themselves around his body and he felt himself jerked off the ground into the air.

Evenly, he watched the ground shrink away beneath his feet and felt himself rock in time with the steps taken to run up the wall, hopping from fire escape to balcony and back again. Yuugi surveyed his surroundings as he continued to rise with each floor, occasionally catching glimpses of himself in passing windows. All he could make out was a dark fluttering form behind him.

Eventually, the climb ended and he felt himself levelling off on the roof of the building complex. When he was finally standing on his own two feet again, Yuugi took a step away and turned around to greet his abductor.

"Hello, Yami," he greeted, hugging himself against the abrupt chill, feeling almost uncomfortably exposed to the wind at this height.

"Hello, Yuugi," the vampire responded in kind, his voice seemingly weaker. However Yuugi couldn't be sure, as Yami had hidden his face behind the high collar of his black cloak.

Nothing else forthcoming, Yuugi lifted a hand to scratch the back of his head in uneasiness, feeling all his courage instantly evaporate. "I hope you've been well?"

Though his tone lifting at the end made it seem a question, Yuugi was actually attempting to ask something on a much deeper level. He held his breath, hoping he'd been understood.

"Indeed," was the short reply. But Yami didn't deign to say anything further and after a couple of minutes of awkward huddling in the wind, Yuugi found himself getting impatient. He narrowed his eyes in irritation, all at once feeling a familiar disregard for authority return to him.

"Anything you, uh," he cleared his throat, brushing both hands down the front of his jacket, "wanna tell me?"

"What do you mean?" Yami stalled, tugging at his cloak as if to adjust for the cold, but failing to fool Yuugi. Yuugi crossed his arms and waited. They'd been out in much chillier weather the previous nights. He pursed his lips; as if he was supposed to believe that vampires got cold now.

Eventually realizing there was no way around it, the vampire sighed in defeat. He felt deep inside that these were the final moments of this damn fledgling relationship he'd foolishly started. He felt a flutter in his stomach at the thought that it was almost over now.

But I can't repair that feeling, Yami thought in sorrow, watching pain radiate out from behind the human's eyes and knowing that he was the cause. I can only destroy.

A moment later, Yuugi cleared his throat and began tapping one foot slowly. Knowing that he owed him at least the proper respect, Yami straightened his back and formally bowed. Very few times in his life had called for this behavior. Very few people alive or dead had ever seen him do so. Special until the end, he thought and swallowed bitterly.

"I," Yami began, feeling the phrase sit unnaturally in his mouth. He mentally wished the human well as he began speculating ways ways he could remove the remnants of their mental bond once he was gone. It would prove to be difficult without their physical interaction, but the vampire knew he was in no position to complain or make demands for his convenience. "I'm sorry, Yuugi. For everything."

"Oh yes," Yuugi lifted an eyebrow in sarcasm. "A simple apology will clear everything right up. Glad we could sort out this confusion!"

"I am well aware this is insufficient," Yami's voice rumbled dangerously, his ire rising. Why must this slight man add insult to injury? Let them just end this in peace; let light and dark go their separate ways like night and day. "I believe the best course of action is for us to never see each other again after this moment."

Yami forcibly kept himself from shrinking back, enduring the sudden ache in his chest his own words had invoked. He was quiet as Yuugi replied. "Well, to be honest, every instinct in my body is screaming at me to stay away from you."

"Understood," Yami nodded, muscles tensing to disappear in the blink of an eye. Before he could push off the roof however, Yuugi waved him off in annoyance. The vampire paused, confused.

"No, no, you clearly don't understand," Yuugi interrupted, shaking his head in exasperation. "You are – not to mince words – a horrible excuse for a boyfriend right now, but letting you escape is clearly giving you the better end of the deal."

Yami opened and closed his mouth a couple of times. "I don't understand."

"I already said that," Yuugi smirked, before continuing. "I have given it a lot of thought and have decided on the best punishment for you, given all the goddamn shit you've put me through."

"Punishment?" Yami lifted an eyebrow, momentarily forgetting his apologetic exit as he found himself on the receiving end of the kind of admonishing behavior he'd last experienced when…he was human. How strange to feel this nostalgia, he thought.

"Yes, punishment," Yuugi echoed, putting a hand on each hip. "In order to make up for everything, you sir" – Yuugi felt himself blush and mentally cursed his psychologically weak complexion – "are required to spend every waking minute with me from now until eternity."

"I am?" Yami repeated, absorbing the words one at a time. What exactly was he getting at?

"You heard me," Yuugi challenged in a louder voice, hoping his bravado would overshadow his red face. At least, it didn't look like Yami was paying attention to it right now. "Every. Waking. Minute. With me. Forever."

"But I don't sleep," Yami protested dumbly, thinking that wasn't exactly true as he'd find himself unconscious at least once a year performing these rituals. But that wasn't technically sleep, now was it? Wait a minute, why was he actually taking this seriously?

Yuugi snorted then. "Oh, I know that."

"Well then," Yami stalled, trying to think past the nervous laughter trying to force its way out; he wanted to keep this human so badly that he found himself trying to singlehandedly swallow all the reasons he knew he couldn't. Without warning, his mind halted on the thought of his underground city and he winced. His garden. Second Haven. "Yuugi…What happens when I have to leave?"

Yuugi took a couple steps forward and reached to take Yami's hand. He stared into the vampire's alien eyes, dilated beyond human limits in the dark, and tried to read the thoughts behind the panic he could see. He knew on some level that he was asking a lot from a mysterious being. He realized Yami was waiting for his answer with baited breath. Enchanted with the emotions for once present on the vampire's face, Yuugi whispered, "You take me with you."

Yami let out the breath he'd been holding in a rush and stared at this incredulous sight. Truly? Truly. He gaped at the human who stood without fear in front of the prince among monsters, asking so sweetly for the key to his kingdom. He briefly tried to throw himself into Yuugi's place, combing through with lightning speed all the possible reasons that Yuugi would think this was worth it.

Worth it.

In that moment, he realized he'd accidentally solved the riddle about the source of Yuugi's grief and also realized he absolutely hadn't wanted to. Worth it. Yuugi wanted his relationship with Yami to be worth the pain and suffering he'd inflicted the night before. On someone who Yuugi had known, and dearly too, it seemed.

No. Yami shut his eyes as the familiar feelings of shame and loathing washed over him. How he abhorred this existence. His legs weak, he let himself slowly sink to the ground with Yuugi following him. They sat on the roof, cement dust covering their knees. Yuugi still had not let go of his hand.

"Why?" Yami asked him simply, his voice almost inaudible. Yuugi leaned forward slowly until their foreheads touched, the wind raising their hair to float around them. Yami tried again, more forcefully; even if it was hard, he would make himself ask. "If it was someone who mattered, why are you here now?"

He made sure he was looking Yuugi in the eye. He remembered the repugnant form he had broken his body into, the carnal hunger for blood, meat, and bone that had consumed him, the lewd way he had invaded every mind connected to his. "Why forgive me?"

When Yuugi didn't immediately respond, Yami grabbed his cheek, wanting to forcefully extract the answer from him. He remembered the unbridled power that coursed through him, the life he had extracted from a limp form without a second thought, the volatile hunger that had clawed at him from inside. "You know the truth of it now. Why even ask to stay?"

"Because you matter too," Yuugi finally breathed, wide-eyed, enthralled. "I was you and I saw everything."

Yami flinched. He remembered images of the grisly scene, the macabre joy that had sung through his veins, the lustful way he had ripped open a heart and lapped at the blood.

"I was you," Yuugi repeated, lifting up one hand to press his cheek into Yami's hand tenderly, "and now I understand."

"Understand what?" Yami mouthed, trembling. The ache in his chest had grown so large, it threatened with each breath to squash him out of existence. It was sewn into the revulsion he felt at his very core. Conflicting sensations pulled him in all directions, but he was suspended over an abyss with no escape. He hung on by a gossamer thread.

"How beautiful you truly are," was the gentle reply.

And for the first time in five thousand years, Yami burst into tears.

Note: Hmm, I think that just about wraps it up, folks. Maybe one more chapter, and then I think I can finally start taking apart this baby to clean out the parts and put it back together shiny and brand-spankin' new.

Thanks for taking this journey with me. :)