A Walk To Remember

"Hey Evans! Wait up!"

Lily rolled her eyes at the familiar voice. She was on her way back from visiting Hagrid and was not inte the mood to deal with James Potter right now. Besides, it was freezing outside and she really didn't want to stay outside even longer, just to wait for someone who really annoyed her.

So, instead of slowing down, she picked up her pace. It didn't really stop him from catching up with her, since he was probably five inches taller than her and was quite the athlete, it just sent him a clear message to go away.

Obviously he didn't pick up the message.

"Gees Evans, I think you've got the wrong idea about this waiting thing. When a person calls 'Wait up' you're supposed to stop or at least slow down, not walk as if you're ass is on fire."

"Yeah, I know." she said and he laughed.

"That's my Lily," he laughed and she sent him a glare. "Besides, you're ass is so hot that it could be on fire, so I'll forgive you this time."

"How nice of you," she said dryly, wrinkling her nose at him.

At least she was almost at the castle now. She pulled her cloak tighter around her as an especially chilly draft almost swept her of her feet. He looked at her, concerned and pulled his own cloak of.

"Don't be daft, Potter, you must be as cold as I am." she said, teeth chattering, her just smiled and pulled his over large cloak on her shoulders. Warmth flooded through her body and she reallt couldn't help being thankful.

"Actually, I'm not, I enjoy feeling the wind on my skin. It's a quite pleasant feeling, almost as good as rain."

"You stand out in the rain without your cloak?"

"Yeah, don't you?" Without waiting for, or expecting, an answer he continued. "It's the best feeling ever, like your body is somehow melting. I can't explain it."

"Well, thanks anyways." she said quietly, hoping he wouldn't hear. She'd never hear the end of it otherwise.

"You're welcome," he said simply and balled his hands up in his pockets.

As he pushed open the door he smiled a little at her, and she couldn't place the look on his face, almost... scared.

"So, what class've you had?" he asked moments later when they walked past the great hall to continue to Gryffindor Tower.

"I didn't have class, I went to see Hagrid." she said, struggling to get his cloak off of her.

"Oh right, I see." he said, obviously waiting for her to continue. When she didn't he sighed.

"Come here, I'll help you with that." he said, gesturing to the cloak. She stopped and his hands started working on the silver fastenings. "Have you no manners? Am I going to have to teach you everything? You're supposed to ask me what class I've been to too." he said, with the kind of voice that reminded her of Binns.

"Don't hold your breath or anything."

Hurt flashed across his eyes briefly but disappeared just as quickly.

"There you go," he said softly and he pulled his cloak of her before continuing.

"I had Care of Magical Creatures. Kettleburn is out of his mind, seriously. He kept going on about how he used to have a pink bunny which only eat Thestral spilling or something like that."

"Thestrals?" she asked curiously, interested in spite of herself.

"You haven't heard of them? Well, I guess you don't see them than, either." he muttered.

"So what are they?" she pryed, she loved new information. Strangely enough it seemed like James Potter had been the one feeding her with it lately.

"Don't really want to talk about them..."

"You brought them up!"
"Well, I thought you'd heard of them. I'll brought it up, and now I'll drop it." he said, stubbornly, very much like herself.

"Fine, be that way." she snapped.

"I will, thanks." he said cooly, quickening his pace up the stairs so that she had trouble keeping up. The painting around them stared at her and she couldn't resist sticking out a tongue at an awfully rude picture ("Oh how childish!" it replied, which she did her best to ignore.)

She hated him, she really did. He was nothing but a pain in the ass 24 hours a day. He was rude, unkind.

How she wished he would go away, how she wished she could hex him into oblivion, how she wished... how she...

How she wished he'd been the one right now that was the reason of the fight. She suddenly realised that he was being the mor emature of the two of them, an insight that scared her to death.

She sighed in defeat.

"Potter, look, I'm sorry, I'm not being myself today, it's not fair of me to take it out on you. If you don't want to talk about I won't push you."

"It's OK," he smiled, all grief gone. She couldn't understand that, how he could just forgive her like that, if it'd been her she'd be really pissed right now for him not minding his own business.

"Anyway," he continued, smiling that smile that always made her heart skip a beat or two. Even if she didn't like him, she couldn't deny he was completely gorgeous, especially when he smiled. "How's life this days? Any hot guys you have your eye on?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" she teased, and then cursed herself inwardly, it sounded like she flirted with him!

"Oh, so there is someone!" his hazel eyes glistening. "Let me guess... Sirius?"

"What?" she said, appalled that he would think so low of her. "No!"

"Really?" he sounded surprised.

"Yeah, why would I?"

"I don't know, you tell me."

"What do you mean?"

"Everyone fancies him, you're a girl, it's in your nature to fancy him."

"Not everyone does, and no, it is definetly not in my nature. If it was I'd also scratch my balls every two seconds and be interested in what Binns says on his lessons."

"Ouch, better not tell Sirius that. Well, then it's you me and Remus in this school that doesn't fancy him."

"What about Peter?"

"Yeah, I think he fancies him too." he said under his breath and made her laugh.

She was starting to feel uncomfortable around this unsure, not selfabsorbed James Potter.

"Come off it, you. You and I both know that half of the girls in this school, hell the boys too, fancy you!" she snapped at him.

He just laughed as they rounded a corner.

"I think that might be the weirdest compliment I've ever received. And from you aswell!"

"Didn't think I had it in me?"

"Nah, it's not that. I knew you had it in you, just very, very, very, very deep down."

"Thanks, thank you so much." she said sarcastically and he winked at her.

"Anytime," and then his face changed from happy to smug.

"What?" she said impatiently.

"So, you think I'm sexy, huh?"

"I never said that!"

"But you do,"

"Do not!"

"Do."

"Don't," she muttered and could feel her face heating up to her great embarrassement.

She glanced at him briefly and her stomach did a flip-flop at how atractive he was.

"So, Potter, really, now that you're in a better mood. Thestrals?"

He hesitated before talking, his face darkening.

"They look like horses, only scarier, like reptiles. They drive the carriages from Hogsmeade to Hogwarts."

"But they're horseless,"

"No, they're not. They're invisible to people who hasn't seen anyone die. That's what so special about them."

"Oh..."

"Yeah."

She hesitated for a moment, she didn't know if she dared to ask, but her curiosity got the better of her.

"Can you see them?"

"Yes. Yes I can."

"Who did..." she started then clasped a hand over her mouth, gasping. "I'm sorry, James, I wasn't thinking... You don't have to answer that, really." she said and then realised she had just called him James for the first time in her entire life.

If he noticed he didn't say anything.

"It was my mother," he spoke softly, grief apparent in his face. "she died last year in cancer."

"I'm sorry..." she said, her voice a mere whisper, and she hardly noticed they'd stopped walking.

"Yeah, me too." he said quietly and she put her hand on his shoulder to try and comfort him. A sudden urge of soothing him taking over her.

They continued walking, rounding several corners, both of them lost in their own thoughts until Lily finally spoke.

"Potter-"

"So it's back to Potter now is it?" he teased. So he had noticed.

"James, can I ask you something?"

"Fire away."

"It's personal."

"Lily, it's OK, just ask."

A shiver worked itself up her spine when he said her name and she shudderd involunatarily.

"Why don't you just give up on me?"

"I like you." he said simply.

"That's it?"

"Yeah, why? What'd you think?"

"I don't know... I guess I just expected something else. Like since I was the only girl you haven't gone out with I'm just some price, you know."

"It's not like that, Lily, it never was. I like you, a lot, and since I've never felt this way about something or anyone I'm not going to give it up. It's just that simple."

"Even though I hurt you all the time?"

"It does hurt, I won't deny it, but I reckon it'll be worth it."

"I wouldn't have been able to."

"Able to do what?"

"Put myself through it, ask someone out, day after day, knowing I'd get hurt."

"Sure you would, you do it everyday. Just not in the same way."

She looked at him and realised something.

"You're one of a kind, James. In a good way."

"Yeah, I know, I rather like it that way. How boring wouldn't it be to be like everybody else? I reckon you have one life, might as well make the most of it. And blending in isn't a part of that for me, you know. I want to make a differnce, and I can't do that being like everybody else. Besides, I wouldn't be able to be myself if I had to be normal."

She stared at him in awe. Great, so James Potter, her arch enemy, was now not only friendly, funny and kind, he had to go and be all mature and sensitive aswell. He was slowly filling the slot of her dream man. This was not good.

And you know what else that wasn't good? All the flip-flops her stomach did as soon as he looked at her. They were not good, not at all.

"You're one of a kind too, Lily."

She snorted.

"I am? You mean I'm the only girl who's ever turned you down?"

He laughed and her stomach flip-flopped even harder.

"Well the you are indeed very special, and if you look at it that way. You're also the only girl I've ever been in love with."

Her cheeks burned and she didn't meet his eye. She didn't dare.

"No, but seriously," he continued. "What I really meant was that no matter what life throws at you, whatever I may do to piss you of, although you should know I only do that to get your attention, you always stand up for yourself, your belief. A lot of girls in this school pretend to be something they're not to impress everyone. You don't, you're always you no matter what. You don't let people bully you."

"Well, neither do you." she said as they reached another set of stairs and slowly began walking up it.

"You have another, a different, a much tougher background. I'me pureblood which makes life pretty easy for me, because of that you're muggleborn you always have to proove that you're worthy because of some bullshit Salazar Slytherin made up thousands of years ago."

"You're not on their side?" Lily said, relieved and suprised. James hade always been proud of his bloodline, after all, Godric Gryffindors blood ran through his veins.

"No, and I'll tell you why. Because one, it confuses me, if two muggleborns marry, is their child pureblood, half blood or muggleborn? Two," he continued holding up two fingers. "I think it's a load of crap. I mean, if you can do magic, you're just as pureblooded as anyone and just as 'worthy' as any of us. And three," he said, holding up three fingers. "people base this rasism on a past and background no one can change or have chosen." he finished and the realization of what he'd said hit her in the stomach in a not so very pleasant way.

She was alway rejecting and neglecting him because of what he had done in his past, things he couldn't change and probably regretted. What he could change though, was his present and who he was. And he had, and she didn't even appreciate it. Her cheeks burned again and she stopped.

"James, I..." she started and looked around to find strength in something familiar and found that she had no idea where she was. "Where are we?"

He glanced around the corridor.

"I think we're near Ravenclaws common room, which means Gryffindor tower should be..." he trailed of looking around him once again and then pointing down a dark and dodgy corridor. "that way." he finished and Lily gulped. She didn't like darkness. It scared her.

"Is there another way?"

"'Course there is, it's just longer."

"I don't mind the walk," she said quickly.

"Just the company," he smiled but she stayed serious.

"No I definetly don't mind the company. In fact, I quite enjoy it."

He looked both embarrassed and pleased.

"So... are you staying at Hogwartsfor christmas?" he asked and her bad mood returned.

"Probably, "

"Why?"

"My sister's marrying her big, fat, annoying, purple, hot-tempered and downright rude boyfriend, which basically means she'd be planning a wedding whick will without doubt drive me insane because of her bad taste."

"Sound awful," he said, shuddering sympathetically.

"What about you? Are you staying?"

"I don't know yet," he shrugged. "maybe. I might if Sirius can't come back home with me."

"What does that matter?"

"Well, drunken work-aholic dad home alone with me isn't the best match, if you know what I mean. If Sirius comes back with me my Dad'll do his best because we have a guest and be all christmasy. If not, well then he'll ignore me, pretend I don't exist or just yell at me for being me quite frankly. That kind of thing. He hasn't been the same since Mum died."

"I think I know what you mean, well, not that my dad would do that, but my sister does the same thing. The only time she ever acknowledges me is to hiss 'freak' in my ear or when mum and dad forces her to speak to me." she said quietly.

"Why would she call you a freak?" he asked, concerned.

"I don't know, but I think she's jealous because I'm a witch and she's not, so she turns against it and tries to make me feel like I'm the one woh should be jealous of her normal life."

"I can definetly see why she's jealous. If I was your sister I'd probably be jealous too,"

"Nah, you wouldn't."

"Oh yeah? How do you know?"

"You're not that kind of person, you'd just be happy for me. You're not like her at all."

"You're right, I would be happy for you. And I'd be having very bad and very wrong feelings for you."

Lily blushed again and swatted his arm and made him grin. The now all too familiar flip-flop in her stomach were more or less doing somer saults.

Suddenly James halted and Lily noticed they were standing outside the Fat Lady's portrait.

"Well, I guess that's it then." she smiled, nervous all of the sudden and rather sad that their walk was over.

"Yeah," he said, clearly uncomfortable, staring at his shoelaces. "Unless..." he started and glanced up quickly at her but didn't continue.

"Unless?" she said, demanding him to continue.

"Unless you'd like to go to the kitchens for a cup of hot chocolate?"

"Yeah, I'd like that." she smiled.

"Good," he smiled, relief in his voice. "And maybe..."

"Maybe what?"

"Look I know you don't like me asking you, but I just have to..."

"Have to ask me what?" she said impatiently, she was realy started to get irritated by this whole 'not-finishing-sentences' thing he had going on.

He drew a deep breath.

"Will you come to Hogsmeade with me?"

"Yes," she said, the word just slipping out of her before she even had time to contemplate her answer.

He grinned at her and her stomach flip-flopped harder than ever before and butterflies now accompanied the flip-flops, mainly at how happy she was but a part because he was so attractive.

"The kitchen, right?" she said, smiling too.

"Right."

And as they walked in silence towards the kitchens, both grinning like maniacs, Lily got a feeling that verything was going to be all right. As long as he always walked beside her.