Title : The Care and Feeding of Ryan Atwood for Dummies
Author : Helen C.
Rating : G
Summary : Four cool things Seth did for Ryan.
Disclaimer : The characters and the universe were created and are owned by Josh Schwartz. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Many thanks to joey, who beta'd this.
Part Four
"I'm not letting you anywhere near Ryan in that kind of state." Seth's voice was firm, despite the fact that he must be nervous as hell—who wouldn't be, when faced with a drunk Dawn?
Of all the times for her to relapse, this just had to be the worst, Ryan thought glumly.
He tried to ignore what was happening outside, but some kind of morbid curiosity made him want to know how that particular drama was going to end.
Seth was standing at the door of the pool house, blocking Dawn's passage, as if the door hadn't been locked since Ryan had come home from the hospital, as if he had to add another barrier between Ryan and his mother.
Ryan couldn't make out Dawn's words, but Seth's reply was loud enough for him to hear. "No! You're not talking to him today. He doesn't need that."
Ryan half expected wails, tears, anger, recriminations.
He didn't get it.
Instead, he got Dawn talking very low to Seth, and Seth nodding, lips pinched in a very un-Seth fashion.
Ryan tuned them both out and fell back on his bed, staring at the ceiling.
The Cohens had left half an hour ago to help Julie set up for the funeral, leaving Ryan and Seth alone for a while.
Ryan didn't doubt that they would be back soon, and that they would talk to him again about going. They would certainly have very good, convincing arguments.
Not that it mattered.
Ryan had already said his goodbyes to Marissa. He didn't see what attending a funeral would do for him. Besides, he had no intention of allowing the Newpsies to look at him compassionately, to withstand the whispers and the pitying looks.
Stay. Don't leave.
His fists clenched of their own accord.
He heard a discreet knock and looked up.
Dawn was retreating to the main house, and Seth was peering in. He gestured to the lock, his meaning clear.
"Come on, man. Let me in," he mouthed.
Ryan sank back to the bed, ignoring the way Seth's face fell.
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As he had predicted, the Cohens tried to get him out of the pool house another two times before leaving for the church.
"You need to say goodbye, kid," Sandy said.
"It might help," Kirsten added.
Seth didn't say anything, but when the Cohens finally left and Ryan looked out, he spotted Seth leaning on the closed pool house door, legs outstretched, talking on his phone.
Seth didn't move from his spot for the rest of the morning.
Neither did Ryan.
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Seth didn't ask stupid questions when, late that night, Ryan unlocked the door and started packing.
He entered and sat on the bed, watching Ryan throw clothes and toiletries in his bag.
He didn't babble, he didn't offer meaningless promises of better days to come, he didn't plead with Ryan to stay.
He didn't yell at Ryan and accuse him of running away from his problems.
Again.
Maybe he already knew that Ryan was well aware of what he was doing, and wasn't proud of it, but that it was the only way he was going to survive the next few days (to say nothing about the rest of his life).
If he had to spend more time in this room, or even in the rest of the house, where Marissa had left a mark everywhere, he was never going to be able to start thinking again, never going to be able to deal with that kind of hurt.
He had to leave the remnants of his old life behind him. Maybe that way, he'd be able to start a new one.
Eventually.
When Ryan slowed his frantic packing, Seth asked, "Is there anything I can say to get you to stay?" his tone indicating that he knew the answer to that one.
"No."
Ryan sat next to Seth, his bag ready. "Tell your parents not to worry. I'll call once I've found somewhere to crash."
"I have money," Seth offered.
Ryan shook his head, studiously avoiding Seth's eyes.
They stayed silent for a while.
"What did Dawn tell you?" Ryan asked eventually, hating that he wanted to know.
Seth's hesitation was barely noticeable. "She said to tell you she'd be here when you wanted to see her. She said she loved you."
For all the practice he'd had, Seth could be a pathetic liar sometimes.
Ryan closed his eyes. He knew Dawn had probably begged Seth to let her see Ryan so he could help her in some way.
He knew Dawn would never say she loved him, especially not to someone she didn't even know.
It would only hurt him to have it confirmed, though, so he nodded. "Thanks," he said.
He knew Seth was trying to protect him from the fact that even on such a day, Dawn couldn't stop thinking about herself, and he was grateful for his friend.
"I'll call her when… you know." Never.
Seth nodded as if he, too, was reading between the lines.
Maybe he did, at that. After all, they knew each other well enough to know when they were full of shit.
They just didn't often choose to say it out loud.
Ryan stiffly got to his feet. "I'll call."
Seth met his eyes then, serious, and Ryan added, "I will."
He wouldn't lie about that.
Seth nodded, convinced. "Okay."
At the door, Ryan turned back. "Thanks," he told Seth.
For lying to me.
For letting me go when I need to without throwing a fit.
For staying here with me, when Summer must have needed you too.
He expected a glib answer, a quick joke. Seth surprised him. "That's what friends are for."
Thanks for being my friend, then.
Ryan waved at him and walked away.
end