Summary: Van Helsing, Mephistopheles, The Elixir of Life, and an archeologist; not at all what you think. The Temple of Aphrodite does not exist as depicted in this story but I am basing the Cult of Dona and Aphrodite on the area around Dodona, Greece, where Dona was worshiped along with Zeus and was reputed to be the mother of Aphrodite. The Dona or Doni figures have been found all along the Mediterranean Sea and up into Europe. The most famous is the Venus of Willendorf. I don't own Van Helsing, but boy do I wish I did. The others all live in my head unfortunately.

Silence.

Christine listened, her eyes closed. There were no sounds in the room. She felt sore, her body ached from head to toe, and she was laying on a hard surface. There was a cool breeze in the room, which drifted across her naked legs, causing her to start, and her eyes to open.

There, above her, was the largest Doni she had ever seen, carefully carved, intricate in detail, the braids of her hair carved to resemble human figures, twisted together with animals, across her belly was carved primal views of human and animal figures in various stages of birth, nursing, and death. At her feet, a male figure reclined, relaxed, carved much later than the original, a figure of Zeus.

She sat up slowly, in awe of what was above her. Suddenly she heard a rustling noise below her. She turned her head slowly, not wanting to look away from the tableau carved in stone over her. It was him. His dark hair hanging to his shoulders, the white chiton draped half across his chest, coming just to mid thigh. He looked like an Adonis, no a Zeus.

"What the hell happened?" She asked.

"What do you remember?"

"I was taking a nice bath, and then the women dressed me in some Hellenistic style dress and lead me into this room with an altar and these throne like chairs. They made me sit in one, and then things started getting fuzzy." She looked at him, his golden eyes piercing hers.

"And then?"

"It is all fuzzy, I vaguely remember someone throwing water on my head, and something about having to repeat something, and then…nothing."

"The demon has done his work well; the high priest of this pagan cult is also a priest of the church. What was done was to protect your immortal soul, as well as my own." He held out a hand to her. She looked around the room and realized she was sitting on the altar. She took his hand and he helped her down.

There at the base of the altar was her backpack, and hopefully her camera. She wanted to get pictures of this room. She had to get a hold of her superiors at the university and try to arrange a dig, to bring this place to light. She was rummaging through the bag when she noticed the large ring on her left hand.

"What the hell is this?"

"Your wedding ring."

"My WHAT?!"

He stood there, waiting, wondering how she was going to react. He didn't know anything about this woman, other than that she had been in danger, and he had saved her. He knew her name, her family history, but nothing about the woman in front of him. Did she have a temper, how was she going to react to being married, while drugged?

"Tell me you didn't just say wedding ring." She said calmly

"I did."

She closed her eyes, and began to count. Wedding ring, who the hell was she married to, gods help her she hoped it wasn't this pompous ass. Yea he LOOKED like a god, but he was definitely short on personality; demanding, commanding, arrogant, and acting like she owed him a favor.

"Just who the hell am I married to?" She asked.

"Me." He stated simply.

"Oh that is just great, when the hell did this happen, while I was drugged out of my mind? Just what the hell was everyone thinking? Did ANYBODY think that by being drugged my consent was not legal?" She had actually backed him into the wall, screaming at the top of her lungs. "Whose idea was this anyway, yours?" When he nodded, she started pounding on his chest with both fists. "YOU lousy stinking son of a bitch; I don't suppose this farce was CONSUMATED…?" He nodded again. Then she got really mad.

Gabriel watched the virago giving him hell. He had thought fighting banshees was bad. This woman put them to shame. She had a voice as loud, and her language was creative and colorful to say the least. Carl could definitely have learned a few lessons in cursing from her. Suddenly he couldn't take it any more. He grabbed her shoulders and shook her.

"Enough." He looked at her angry face, beautiful angry face, and kissed her. Not the smartest of moves, he thought when she bit down hard on his lip, but at least she had stopped yelling.

"If you will calm down, I will explain." He said as she struggled against him.

"There isn't ANY explanation that will justify this. You drugged me, married me, and then raped me, and now you want to explain?" He spun her around until she was backed against the wall, placed his arm across her throat, and said "You can listen or not, but I am going to explain."

He pressed on her windpipe until she nodded.

"You were given a drug, something called the Elixir of Life. According to those who prepared it and gave you the damned thing, it is a deadly poison unless the antidote is administered within 8 hours of being given the potion. The antidote is sexual intercourse. I don't know how the hell it works." He stepped away from her, expecting her to attack him.

"The Elixir of Life; that story is just a myth. If it existed at all, it was supposed to be made out of plants that are extinct. It was created to help childless couples to conceive, that is why it was called the Elixir of Life. I have never heard of it being used in conjunction with a Doni cult, or even Aphrodite." She pushed past him, and knelt at the altar, pulling a notebook out of her pack. She flipped through the book, pausing every once in a while to read over a note.

"Ahh, here it is, 'The Elixir of Life was created by the priestesses of Hera to help in the conception of children for those who had none. According to Herodotus, the Elixir helped to bring the woman's humors in line with her husband's so that they could combine to create a child in her womb. It also created a strong eros which caused the woman to desire her husband, thus guaranteeing the conception of a child.'"

She continued to read, for a few moments. "Nothing about it being deadly if not consummated."

"Not deadly…Damn you Mephistopheles." Gabriel walked to the altar and began grabbing his gear.

"You might want to get dressed." She said looking up at him. "You aren't wearing a thing under that chiton." He grabbed the pile of clothing and stepped behind the altar. "You might consider that as well." He said.

"Two steps ahead of you." She said. She stepped around the back of the altar just as he was fastening his leather pants. "I can't say those are much better than what you were wearing." He glared at her as he pulled the cut sweater over his head. She was standing there in a T shirt and loose fitting jeans. He shrugged into his heavy coat and began sorting through the pile of weapons at his feet.

"Not slow enough, not strong enough…." He was muttering as he put items in his pockets and slung the crossbow over his shoulder.

"So in other words, you married me, without my informed consent, and then raped me, just to save my life. I am not sure if I should be flattered or insulted."

"Technically, you consented; even if you were drugged you gave the proper responses to the priest. And since we were married, it is not technically rape according to the church even if you were unconscious. AND YES, DAMN IT, I did it to save your life, and soul I might add."

"What exactly does my soul have to do with this?" Christine leaned back on the marble altar, watching him as he sorted things out. The crossbow kept slipping down his arm, hampering his movements as he tried to get everything in the proper pockets and holders.

"Will you give me that thing, before you hurt yourself?" She said as she took the crossbow from him.

He looked up at her confused. She had been furious just seconds before, and now she was smiling at him, helping him. Her comments about rape had hit him hard. No matter how he looked back on it, they had a ring of truth.

"Both of our souls are on the line. The demon set things up so that no matter what I did, both of us were damned to hell. Technically, by marrying you first, it negated most of what would have damned us. According to the church, what happens between a man and wife is sacred." He reached for his crossbow and she handed it to him.

"Now, if you don't mind, stay here while I send that damned demon back to hell."

"Ohhhh no…This I have to see." Damn but the woman was confusing.

"When we are finished here we can go to Rome, seek a pontifical annulment of the marriage, since it is not registered in a civil court, all we will need is a blessing from the Pope to end it."

"I just have one question. I am not Catholic, how the hell did you manage to take care of that issue?"

"I had the priest baptize you first."

"WHAT?"

"You are technically a baptized Catholic now."

"Oh, GREAT." She followed him down the corridor. "Anything else I should know?"

"Yes. While we are in Rome, and probably while you are still my wife, you need to seek a Pontifical Blessing to absolve you of heresy, since you are a Demolay; otherwise, you will still end up in hell."

"Why would I want to do that?"

"The entire Demolay family was condemned by the church. You cannot be absolved of the sins of the Demolay family without a Pontifical Blessing."

"And just how the hell am I supposed to get that. I don't suppose you have the ear of the Pope or anything?"

He turned around and put a hand over her mouth. "Can we discuss this later? I am trying to kill a demon here."

She nodded, and followed him down the corridor. They passed two open doors, both leading to rooms with large bronze tubs in the center of the floor. Past the rooms, the corridor lead into darkness.

Gabriel signaled Christine to say where she was while he crept further down the corridor. Of course she didn't do it and followed right behind him.

Voices started to float on the air toward them.

"…ment was a success? The drug worked as described?"

"Yes, my friend. A complete success; here is your sample to examine in the lab, as promised. I look forward to continued business with you."

"As long as this is viable, I don't care where my soul ends up. This will make me rich beyond my wildest dreams." Footsteps started toward Gabriel and Christine. Gabriel pushed her behind him, deeper into the shadows. The man walked by, briefcase in hand. Gabriel reached out and pulled him into the shadow. Christine heard a sickening crunching sound and the man dropped to the ground.

Suddenly, the corridor glowed red. The demon was standing in front of them.

"Ah, the happy couple, at last. Thank you, Gabriel. You saved me some time."

"I wasn't going to let him leave here; I could sense the evil in him. That drug will never see the light of day."

"Such noble sentiments, from an Angel condemned to Hell." Mephistopheles laughed. "You see, the bride was not able to truly consent. So not only did you, as you put it, fornicate with a woman, but raped her as well."

"Wait a second." Christine stepped out from behind Gabriel. "The only thing condemning him at this point is the fact I was drugged." She looked at the demon, who smiled and nodded. "I can fix this."

"I, Christine Demolay, being of sound mind and body, agree and consent to be your wife, Gabriel Van Helsing, from this day forward and including last night."

"You are consenting to your own rape?"

"It isn't rape if I consent, dumb ass."

"You win for now, Gabriel." Mephistopheles and his minions vanished in a puff of smoke. "But remember the Elixir is to create life. I wouldn't count on an annulment from the Pope, if I were you. He usually doesn't grant one if the bride is pregnant."

"Pregnant?" Gabriel and Christine looked at each other in shock.

"Ahhh…Hell." Christine said.

"Well, there goes the annulment." He looked down at the woman he had tied himself to, "Looks like you are stuck with me."

"Same here bud. It could be worse, you could look like Hephestus."

The look he gave her started her giggling. They started walking down the deserted corridor, silence all around them.

"Gabriel there is one thing I don't understand. Why did he just leave like that?"

"I made a deal with him. If I could find a way around his trap without condemning either of us, he would leave the mortal realm for one hundred years."

Suddenly the ground trembled.

"Let's get out of here."

They ran down the corridor until Gabriel saw familiar statues lining the way. He grabbed Christine's hand and dragged her toward the cave entrance; behind them the sounds of collapsing tunnels and billows of dust on the air pushed them toward the light.

They ran out of the mouth of the cave, just as the cave collapsed. Christine screamed in frustration.

"Ten years worth of work and all my proof just collapsed behind me."

"Well, at least you are alive."

She looked over at Gabriel, laying on the ground looking at her. "Do you always look at the bright side?"

He smiled. "Yes, ever since a young woman told me there was a brighter side of death, I have tried to find it."

"Ohhhh, gods, I am married to an optimist." She flung her hands at the sky. "An optimist monster hunter and murderer and possible Angel; could this get any better?"

"Gods?" Gabriel looked at her.

"Gabriel, I hate to tell you this, but I am not just an archeologist, I am also a witch."

Gabriel stared at her in shock. He could hear the sound of the demon's laughter ringing in his ears.