Alex's eyes flutter open to find Bobby carrying her through his apartment, entering his bedroom.
"Did I fall asleep on you?" she asks with sleep in her voice.
"More like passed out on me," he says, smiling down into her eyes.
Bobby lays her gently down onto his bed and slides down next to her, wrapping his arms around her as she lays her head onto his warm, broad chest.
"I'm sorry I fell asleep. Isn't that what you were supposed to do? I mean, that is usually the man's job," she jokes.
Alex feels his chest rumble when he chuckles, "Well, don't feel so bad, because I did fall asleep briefly. I was being selfish and wanted to keep watching you."
Pressing a soft kiss to his chest, Alex feels a strange tug in her heart. "This is had been one hell of a day," she laughs.
"I certainly didn't expect to end the day like this," he says, pulling one of her legs up onto his so she is draped across him.
"But really good right?" she asks.
"More than good," he sighs. "I don't think I've ever been this happy. I've never shared a bed with someone who knows me so completely," he says, playing with her hair. Bobby enjoys the sweet silence of the moment, listening to her soft exhalations.
He thought she had fallen back to sleep, but the tiny shudder of her body and the wetness falling on his chest tells him differently.
"Eames, what's wrong," he says, raising his head and looking down into her tear-stained face.
"Oh, Bobby," she cries, "I feel so guilty."
Watching her lips tremble and her tears fall, Bobby is suddenly heartbroken for her. "Guilty?" he says in an alarmed voice, "What's to feel guilty about?"
Releasing the hold he has on her shoulders, Alex sits up against the headboard, quickly wiping away her tears. Bobby watches the sheet fall down to her waist, baring her body to him, but the stirrings of arousal are quickly tapped down by the sound of her soft sniffling.
"Baby, did I do something wrong?" he says, framing her face with his large hands.
"No," she says, shaking her head vehemently, "please understand when I say this, but for some reason, when you were holding me just now, I starting thinking about Joe."
Bobby's hands drop from her face as if scorched. The logical part of his brain tries desperately to tell his jealous gut that this is normal. But the ache in his belly intensifies at the mere thought of Alex thinking of her dead husband at a time like this. When they had just made intensely passionate love. When they had just confessed their love to each other.
"Please, Bobby," Alex says, grabbing his hand, "let me explain." Taking in a fresh batch of air into her lungs for courage, she continues. "When you just told me how happy you were, every single part of me wanted to tell you the same exact thing. But for some reason, Joe's face popped up in front of me and I suddenly felt that I somehow would be betraying him by saying the words to you."
Alex watches as some of the tension seems to disappear from Bobby's shoulders.
"I know it probably doesn't make much sense to you, but you are the first man since Joe that I've been truly in love with and I…I can't help but feel guilty because when I'm with you, I feel so complete inside. I never felt like this with him and I can't help but feel like a cold-hearted bitch for thinking it," she says roughly.
"Eames, please, it's proba-
"No, Bobby," she interrupts, "I've never told anyone this but the morning Joe died, I told him I wanted a trial separation."
Bobby is paralyzed as he watches fresh tears reappear on her lashes.
"Our marriage wasn't horrible, but it was far from perfect. I really loved him and I know he loved me, but sometimes, Bobby, love isn't enough. I suppose the problem came down to the fact that we got married too young. We started to grow apart as we got older and then one day, I turned around and realized that besides the work, we had nothing in common."
"Do you know the guilt I felt when I got the call that he was gone?" she gasps between breaths. "He died thinking I didn't want him anymore. I've agonized over this for years, but never really thought about it until now. I feel guilty because I know," she says, placing a fist against her heart, "if I had met you while still married to Joe, if he hadn't died, that I would've still loved you."
Bobby didn't even realize the depth of his emotion until he felt the telltale signs of tears on his own cheeks. Wiping them away and grabbing her hands in his, he says, "Eames, you have nothing to feel guilty about. I didn't know Joe, but from what I've heard in the past, he loved you and he wouldn't want you to punish yourself over this."
"I'm sorry for ruining our night," she says, throwing her arms around his shoulders.
Tightly embracing her, Bobby is overwhelmed with gratitude that this resilient, beautiful woman would open up to him like this. "You haven't ruined anything. I love you, Alex."
"Do you think he forgives me, Bobby?"
"I don't think there's anything to forgive, honey," he says gently, tenderly stroking her back. "He must have been an amazing man if you married him, so he must have known that you would never dishonor him."
Pulling back to look into his eyes, Alex feels the lingering feelings of guilt sweep away. "Thank you, Bobby," she says, cupping his cheek in her hand. "I love you and you make me so happy."
"C'mon," he says, pulling her down into the bed with him, "let's get some rest."
Snuggling into his sweet smelling neck, all Alex can think is, yes, I can finally rest.
Goodbye, Joe. I love you.