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Chapter 11
Serena's father walked silently behind his wife and daughter. The only sounds they could hear as they walked out of the clearing were the quite sobs of his distraught daughter and the slow grinding of his knuckles. Darien had fallen silently to the ground and stayed there on his knees, staring at their backs as they left.
He had been surprised when Serena asked to speak to Darien for a moment before they left. He hadn't heard what she'd whispered to him, but it had certainly brought the young man to his knees. Darien had collapsed and, without looking back, Serena had walked away from him. He watched her now and wondered silently what could have happened to his little girl while they were gone, and what he could do now to take her pain away.
Serena's words cut through his soul. He couldn't see, couldn't breathe; couldn't think. All he could hear was Serena's words reverberating throughout his entire body as if to suffocate him.
"I never want to see you again"
Seven words had ended his life.
Without thinking about where he was or what he was doing Darien sank to his knees and stared at the retreating forms of his love. Even after they turned onto a path and he lost sight of their bodies he continued to stare. He couldn't help himself. She couldn't be gone.
It was some time before Darien was aware that his legs felt wet. He looked down and was almost surprised to find himself on the grass in a small clearing, with the morning dew slowly soaking through his pants. He stood up slowly, feeling as if he wasn't entirely sure of how to operate his own body anymore, and walked out of the park. His motorcycle was nowhere to be seen so he turned towards his apartment and began walking home.
On the way home Darien kept his eyes on the ground in front of him. His shoulders were hunched and he tried to be as invisible as he felt. By the time he was nearing his building the morning rush of people was beginning to take the streets but he failed to notice when he was jostled by the increasing crowd. He said nothing and made eye contact with no one. When he finally reached his apartment building he silently made his way to his floor.
The fact that his life was over was evident to Darien, as was the fact that it was entirely his fault. For, in that moment following Serena's words, he had seen it; how stupid he had been. It was his fault he trusted some dream more than his love for Serena, his fault she'd been hit by that car, his fault she couldn't remember her own life. And when the moment had come to be there for her, to protect her and help her through a time so difficult he was one of the few who could understand her pain, he chose to lie to her instead. He'd ruined everything while trying to find Serena the perfect life.
'Our relationship is over'.
Darien's mind tried to digest the thought but the words were far too familiar for him to comprehend. And then he realized she'd shouted that same phrase to him in retaliation before she'd stormed out of his life in anger. She'd thrown those same words back into his face like a bucket of icy water. They were his words.
Is this how she'd felt, when he'd ended it between them just a week ago? Had her heart bled until she was no longer able to process emotion? Had her body shook uncontrollably until she thought she would die with the pain of it all? Had he done to her what Serena's words were doing to him? Oh god, he had. He deserved every instant of this agony.
As he sat on the floor in his living room everything began to reveal itself to Darien. It had never been Serena's life he was trying to perfect. Guilt had kept him from telling her the truth about their shattered relationship. And he'd allowed himself to love her selfishly when it would have been better for her in the care of her friends and family. He'd taken her from the hospital before she was fully recovered for Christ's sake! He'd built his own perfect life without giving a damn whether he hurt her in the process.
And now it was over. No matter how much he may want to, he couldn't apologize to Serena. He couldn't throw himself at her feet and beg for the mercy he didn't deserve. She never wanted to see him again.
It took hours for Darien's tears to run out before he finally fell asleep in a crumpled ball on his living room floor.
The first thing Ami saw was her clock/alarm informing her that it was nearly, but not yet morning. The ringing of the phone sitting beside her head had pulled her from her sleep and she groggily reached an arm towards it. She finally managed to pick it up (after knocking her clock to the floor clumsily). Needless to say she was more than surprised to hear the irate voice of her best friend's mother on the other line.
She sat bolt upright in bed, wide awake, and began stammering her apologies for having made her wait on the line for so long. She threw in as many respectful terms as she could remember but she was cut off before she could finish her thought.
"What the fuck happened while I was gone?"
… Ami was too startled to respond. She'd heard such profanity twice before in her life but never from someone she knew and certainly never from the mouth of a lady. Even in her groggy state it was painfully obvious that Serena's mother was very upset.
"Mrs. Tsukino…" Ami stalled, trying to figure out how she could possibly explain what had happened in the past few days. "Five days ago Serena was hit by a car while crossing the street." Ami paused waiting for some kind of outburst but she heard only breathing from the other end. "After the accident, Serena couldn't remember … anything. Darien, he and Serena were … good friends and he tried to protect her. He took her back to his apartment and took care of her."
Ami couldn't quite believe the words that were coming out of her mouth. Why on earth was she defending the man that had caused her friend so much pain? Before she could figure out her own actions, the words continued flowing from her mouth.
"I know you must be angry Mrs. Tsukino, but Darien really did think he was doing what was best for Serena. He … he cares for her very much." Was this really what she thought?
"Well I certainly didn't get that impression tonight." Mrs. Tsukino finally answered; her voice considerably calmer than it had been moments ago. "Serena told him she never wanted to see him again!"
Ami was again stunned into silence. She had no idea what could have made her friend so angry with the man that loved her. Unless … was it possible that she remembered what he'd put her through? And if that was the case what else could she remember; perhaps the fact that she was Sailor Moon? There was only one way to find out.
"Uhh … Mrs. Tsukino I would really like to come over and see Serena, to make sure she's alright."
"I'm sorry but Serena's sleeping now and I really think she needs the rest. But I promise I'll have her call you."
The older woman's voice had returned to the kind and friendly tone Ami was used to hearing from Serena's mother and she thanked her before hanging up the phone. Ami crawled back into her bed but knew there was no way she'd be falling back asleep. She needed to talk to the other girls, and soon.
It seemed to take hours to finally reach home and Serena dragged her exhausted body up the walkway to what she assumed to be her front door. There was a motorcycle parked in the driveway, keys still in the ignition, that seemed familiar to her but she ignored it as she walked inside.
She found herself in the entrance to a neat and tidy home. It was by no means a mansion but Serena thought it would be more than comfortable for a small family. The living room was neat and as soon as she entered with her parents behind her a voice came shouting from the kitchen.
"Finally found her?" a boy's voice yelled towards them, "Man, Serena, are you in trouble now!"
A young boy walked into the room and looked at Serena standing on the step. She didn't recognize him but could only assume that he was her younger brother, their faces were too alike for him to be unrelated. When she didn't answer his teasing his face grew concerned and he looked at her more closely.
"Spaced out again meatball head?" He nearly shouted, waving a hand in front of her face.
"Sammy, knock it off!" Her father shouted from behind her and the young boy winced at the reprimand. Then the older man turned Serena around to look at her face. Her cheeks were still tear-stained and her hair had become a tangled mess. "Why doesn't your mother go and help you get ready for bed." He suggested softly. Serena nodded and followed her mother up the nearby stairs.
Irene gently helped Serena into the tub which was filled with hot, bubbly water. Serena relaxed considerably as her mother gently washed her hair, but she couldn't stop the tears from pouring down her face once again. Her mother noticed them immediately.
"What's wrong sweetheart?" She asked her softly.
"I don't remember any of this! This house… these rooms… my family!" Serena broke down in sobs and Irene, completely disregarding the water getting everywhere, reached towards her daughter and wrapped her in a hug. She stroked her hair gently and whispered soothingly into her ear, trying to calm her down.
When Serena's head drooped onto her shoulder she realized that her daughter must be exhausted and so she helped her into a pair of fuzzy pajamas and laid her into bed. Serena's gentle snores filled the dimly lit room before she'd even reached the door.
When Serena awoke she could feel the sun's warm rays shining onto her through an open window. The wind blew softly, cooling her down. She felt very peaceful. When she opened her eyes and realized that she didn't recognize her surroundings she managed to prevent the panic from overtaking her. She calmly got out of bed and found her way to her dresser.
Opening the drawers to her dresser Serena realized that almost all of her clothes had been dragged to Darien's apartment a few days earlier. She just slipped into the first pair of pants and shirt she could find and, without a glance at the mirror, made her way downstairs. Something sure smelled good.
When she reached the lower level of the house Serena followed her nose to find her way to the kitchen. She found her mother standing near the stove, an apron tied expertly around her waist. Her father and brother were sitting at the table and both looked at her as she entered. She could tell from the look she was getting from her brother that her parents had explained to him that she had no idea who he was.
As she stood uncertainly in the entrance to the kitchen, Sammy got up and came over to her, extending his hand. "I'm Sammy," he said to her awkwardly, "your little brother."
Serena pulled him into a one-armed hug and thanked him for being so sweet to her, which only proved to her brother that she had truly lost her mind. All the same he led her to the table and let her take the first helping of her favorite chocolate chip pancakes. Serena only realized after biting into them that she was absolutely famished.
"Where's Rini?" She asked, with her mouth full of pancaky-goodness.
"Who dear?" Was her father's reply.
"Umm … Rini, your niece! Pink hair, pain in my side?"
Her mother and father offered Serena strange looks but didn't comment on this Rini person before changing the subject to the weather. Serena stared at both of them. How could they not remember her? Was it possible she'd imagined her? But then, Darien had known her too… None of this made any sense.
While she was pondering her strange disappearance, Serena's mind brought her back the memory she'd regained. She distinctly remembered such a strong animosity towards the little girl… Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing if she wasn't around after all. Before she'd finished breakfast she'd put all thoughts of the little girl completely out of her mind.
Serena spent a pleasant day in her family's company, but when she awoke the next morning and looked out of her window she noticed the red motorcycle sitting in her driveway. It seemed so familiar to her, perhaps it was hers? Giggling at the thought, Serena bounded down the stairs smiling.
"Mom!" She called when she entered the kitchen "That bike out front, who's is it?"
Her mother stood still for a moment, not meeting Serena's eyes, before she exhaled slowly and answered, "It belongs to Darien, honey."
Serena's insides turned to ice but she refused to let her mother see how much that name alone affected her. Before she could realize that there was anything wrong Serena summoned her most cheerful voice (which was obviously forced) and said quickly said "Oh … well then I guess I'd better get it back to him."
"Oh Serena, you don't have to …" Irene wasn't sure what she was going to say. That Serena never had to see him again? That somehow didn't seem right, but Serena cut her off before she could come up with an ending for her thought.
"I know a friend of Darien's" Serena said, thinking of Andrew and deciding she needed to face him, "I'll ask him to return it." Her mother agreed and so, after a hurried breakfast Serena took the keys for the motorcycle off of her counter and headed out into the street.
As she walked slowly towards the arcade, trying to remember her way, Serena heard someone calling her name. Turning around, she saw Ami running towards her and calling her name. She smiled and answered her and in seconds the blue-haired girl had caught up.
"Are you alright?" She asked as soon as the girls had resumed walking towards the arcade.
"I think I will be," Serena answered. "It's been a hard couple of days."
Ami told Serena that she'd heard pieces of what happened from someone but wasn't wiling to say who, which she thought was very strange. Ami seemed to sense that Serena didn't want to talk about it though, and was perfectly willing to change the subject. She tried to fill her in as much as she could about her favorite video games before she arrived at the arcade, assuming that this was her reason for going there.
When the glass doors slid open to reveal the shining arcade, Serena suppressed a sigh and headed straight towards the counter where Andrew was wiping a glass. When he saw her he stopped and looked into her eyes anxiously. He seemed to be waiting for her to explode at him but relaxed slightly when she smiled. She reached the counter and they both stood silently for an awkward minute.
"Andrew," Serena finally broke the silence, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. I know you were only trying to help me."
"Serena … I'm sorry. I didn't mean to …" Andrew didn't seem to know how to answer.
"It's alright Andrew. It's just that, well Darien and I aren't exactly … speaking anymore. He accidentally left his motorcycle at my house and I was hoping you might be able to return it to him."
Andrew stared at her for a moment. They weren't speaking? Was this why he hadn't heard from Darien in days? He agreed to help Serena without thinking and arranged to collect the bike from her house as soon as his shift ended. At least this way he'd be able to find out what was going on with his best friend.
Serena left the arcade feeling confident that she was making all the right decisions now. She could return Darien's bike and get all her stuff from him without having to see him. Things were finally beginning to look up for her.
A dull 'thud' pulled Darien out of his trance. It took him a surprising amount of effort to stand up and drag himself across the living room to the front door. He unlocked it and turned back to his couch, collapsing on it without looking to see who was at his door.
Andrew stepped into the apartment and took a look around. He had never seen it so messy, empty bottles littered Darien's living room floor and he thought he could see glass shards near the window. If he thought the room was disturbing, it was nothing to the state of Darien himself.
His face was unshaven and his hair was untidy. He sat on his couch in the dark and stared blankly in front of him. Andrew cautiously walked into the living room and sat on the couch next to his friend.
"Darien?" He asked timidly, "Are… Are you okay buddy?"
Darien didn't respond to the question. He slid off the couch and sat on the floor. Andrew looked down at him with pity. It looked as if he hadn't changed his clothes in days.
"I … I saw Serena today." He tried again to get a response. The effect was instantaneous. Darien sprang to his knees so that he was facing Andrew and eye level.
"You saw her? Is she alright? She's not hurt is she?"
"She's fine." Andrew answered, taken aback by the sudden change in Darien's demeanor. "She … uhh … I brought your bike back."
Darien nodded silently. He truly hadn't even noticed it was missing.
Andrew didn't want to repeat Serena's name and upset Darien again but he'd also promised to pick up her things. "Uh Dare … where're Serena's things?"
Darien didn't respond as he had before. He didn't speak at all, he merely pointed at the corner of the room. Andrew moved to where he indicated and saw Serena's things neatly folded in a suitcase, each of them in pristine condition. He closed the suitcase and dragged it across the room. He looked back and couldn't bear to leave his friend in this state. He needed to find out what was going on. He kneeled in front of him and tried to look into his eyes. Darien stared right through him as if he wasn't there.
"Darien, what happened?"
"She's gone 'Drew. Forever. And it's all my fault. I've lost the only thing that ever mattered in my life. Now I have nothing."
"Come on," Andrew tried to console him, "I know Serena's upset but you never know, maybe she'll come around. And you don't have nothing… you've still got me bud." He punched him playfully in the shoulder but Darien still didn't respond. The punch sent him leaning back into his couch's cushions. "Please call me Darien. I promise things will look up."
And on that sad note he left the apartment, making his way back to Serena's house with her things.
Darien looked up when he heard the door close behind Andrew. It meant a lot to him that his friend was still there for him, it really did; but somehow he couldn't let go of the fact that he'd lost the most important thing in his life.
Whether it was minutes or hours later Darien didn't know, but it was some time before he realized that he was feeling something within him that meant something important. It was the scouts. They were in trouble; they needed Tuxedo Mask's help. They needed his help. He couldn't let them down any more than he already had. Climbing to his feet he transformed quickly into his alter-ego and leapt from his balcony.
A/N: Hello! I'm so sorry for the late update! I hope you enjoyed this chapter even though it is quite dark. Clearly this isn't yet the end, though I think it's near. Please review and let me know what you're thinking I really love reading them. Thanks so much to all the readers and reviewers and a huge thanks to my beta (what would I do without you babe?).