Agent 007: The Bond Conspiracy

James Bond cried out in pain as the tuxedo clad man hit the ground with a loud thump. His face and shoulder were splattered with blood, his breathing labored through broken ribs and his black hair was a mess. Even in his pain the agent tried to move, only to tense up a bit as the sound of footsteps drew closer.

"Well, Mr Bond, it seems your skills weren't quite up to the job," the white haired older man smiled slightly.

"You won't," Bond gasped out, "get away with this, Dr. Connery."

"You don't understand," Connery drew a gun and aimed it casually as he continued, "I already have."

BLAM!

With a casual air Connery left the cooling corpse behind him as he took out a cellphone, dialed and ordered, "Continue as planned." With a slight smile he added, "No, it seems his reputation isn't quite equal to the reality."

"The orbital death ray will be ready in three weeks, sir," one of Connery's many nubile blonde assistants ran up to let him know.

"Exactly on schedule," Connery nodded before frowning at her, "and it's a orbital laser, not a death ray."

"Calling it that's traditional," the blonde shrugged.

"True," Connery conceded. As he watched her wiggle away his mind turned to another concern, 'So, what will the British Secret Service do now?'

In a office in London the next day, set far from the hug of power where one would expect such a agency to be sat M, the head of the 00 division of her Majesty's Secret Service, M16. Her hair was steely grey and wrinkles marred her skin, but her eyes and mind were as sharp and intelligent as they had ever been.

"It's confirmed?" M looked up, her finely cut woman's suit making her look even more imposing than usual.

"We recovered the body in the Alps," the young agent said nervously, "it's been confirmed. James bond is dead."

"Understood," M took the folder from him, "at this moment, this has been classified as two levels above top secret. Understood?"

"Ma'an!" he saluted stiffly.

"That will be all," M dismissed him.

Miss Moneypenny smiled wryly at the spooked young man, the older brown haired woman feeling a flash of pity for the boy. Delivering today's message had brought him to a level of the ocean that he wasn't ready for, one where sharks tasted the waters.

"Jane!" M called.

"Yes, ma'am?" Jane Moneypenny asked calmly as she entered the office, studying her employer covertly.

M had a frown on her face, an expression of someone who was weighing various equally unpleasant options. "Has the news about James hit the rumor mill yet?" she asked.

"No, not yet," Jane said, "but I recognized the folder he was carrying."

"Then we need to move quickly," M nodded, "send the candidate up."

Jane passed the required folder over, having already anticipated the request even as she asked, "Ma'am, are you sure...?"

"This is the only agent we have available who fits the profile," M said flatly, "and we don't have time to prepare another one."

"Understood," Jane turned and went to her desk to make the needed calls.

It wasn't long before the requested agent arrived, and even Jane was a bit startled at her looks. Short black hair fell into blue eyes, her face almost boyish along with a thin, athetic body. "Agent Garret?" Jane asked, though she recognized the woman from her file photo.

"Ma'am," Enid Garret nodded respectfully, "M wants to see me?"

"Go on in," Jane nodded.

M turned from looking out the window and returned to her desk as the painfully young agent entered. Barely in her twenties Enid had soared through the ranks, beginning in the SAS and moving over to intelligence where her skills shone. She was whip sharp and dangerous, but M knew that she wasn't ready for what she was going to ask of her.

"Agent Enid Garret, reporting," Enid stood at attention by the desk and gave a perfectly regulation salute.

"Sit down," M said, waving her to a seat as she opened a folder on her desk. "Do you smoke or drink?"

"Occasionally," Enid admitted, clearly unsure where this conversation was going.

"Ever had a shaken martini?" M asked.

"Yes, I'm rather fond of them," Enid looked frankly bewildered.

"Good, that's one thing we won't need to train you in," M mused. She looked up from the folder she was studying the looked at Enid with a piercing gaze, "What I'm about to discuss with you is several levels of clearance above top secret. If you so much as mention it without proper authorization, you're dead."

Enid stiffened in her seat, "Yes ma'am."

"Tell me about James Bond," M asked.

"The top agent of the 00 division, he's operated around the world for nearly forty years, primarily opposing SPECTRE and the various Soviet alliances." Enid reported. With more confidence she continued, "With the dissolution of the Soviet Union he's been dealing with various terrorist plots as well as assisting in fighting Al Queda."

"Very good," M nodded. She studied Enid intently as she said, "However, that's not entirely correct."

"Ma'am?" Enid asked respectfully, knowing that it was not a good idea to disagree with a superior officer.

"James Bond did indeed begin operating over forty years ago," M confirmed, "he was a exemplary agent... who died in action nearly thirty years ago."

Enid wasn't stupid, she made the leap of logic almost immediately. "Another agent took up the identity," she realized, "but why?"

"Bond was in the middle of a case when he was killed," M revealed, "against a foe he had faced before. The agent we sent in to replace him, Lazenby, bore enough of a resemblance that he used the identity of Bond to gain a psychological edge on his foe."

"And when Lazenby finished the mission a decision was made to let him stay on as Bond," Enid nodded thoughtfully.

"Bond has become our super agent, a unstoppable force to our enemies... mostly because they never know that he's been more than one man," M said flatly. "There's been six agents as Bond... soon to be seven."

Enid's eyes widened, then narrowed in thought. "You're seriously considering a woman as Bond?" she asked, quite deliberately not naming herself.

"Could you do it?" M asked pointedly.

Without really thinking about it Enid rose, pacing the small room. "I'd have to bind my breasts, thankfully nature didn't bless me with much there," Enid mused, "the famous Bond sex life would be a issue, thankfully I'm a lesbian."

"We know," M said dryly, "I wouldn't be considering you for this otherwise." She met Enid's eye, "I cannot emphasize enough how dangerous being Bond will be... he is a target precisely because of how well known he is. We've even used Bond as a stalking horse, drawing enemies away from more covert agents."

"However I can serve," Enid smiled. She met M's eyes with utter seriousness and asked, "When do I start?"

M rose, offering her hand and Enid shook it. "Welcome to the 00 devision," M said gravely, "Mr. Bond."

Two weeks later, in a chatea set high up in the Swiss Alps Dr. Connery cursed softly as he read another report. His cells of agents were being rounded up, weapons and equipment destroyed with eerie precision. It was clear that Bond was responsible, he must have sent out data on his operations before he died.

"Miss Moon," Dr. Connery called to his assistant.

Honey Moon smiled, "Yes, sir?"

"Prepare my private jet for launch," Dr, Connery frowned as he rose, "we're getting out of here, now."

"Of course, sir," Honey turned but before they could move the rooftop windows exploded inward with a crash.

"No body move," the black clad commando cried even as a familiar figure slid down the rope to face the two figures.

"But... you're dead?!" Dr. Conners blurted.

"Not quite," Enid held her pistol calmly, fully in James Bond mode, "you killed a fellow agent posing as me." A smile as she lit the traditional cigarette James always smoked, "James Bond doesn't die that easily."

"Let's go," the leader of the commandos hustled Connery and Honey Moon off.

'This way Connery will spread the word of Bond's survival and the secret will be safe for now,' Enid mused.

"James," one of the commando's stripped off her hood to reveal long, reddish brown hair.

"Yes, Miss Peel?" Enid asked politely.

Emma Peel reached out to touch James' cheek, "I seem to remember you promising me dinner earlier..."

"Of course," Enid smiled charmingly:"and whatever you want after, too."

"I look forward to it," Emma purred.

The End...?

Notes: "Dr. Connery" is of course named for Sean Connery, the first actor to play Bond, while George Lazendy was the second. In the movies it is somewhat implied that there may have been multiple Bonds, but some films also choose to ignore that notion. In my variation Bond has been around for about fifty years, with several agents having played the role. Emma Peel is of course from the Avengers. :)