Banky and the Brain
AN: So, this little crack-fic was requested by my friend Blue on Live Journal, and my friends seem to think it's very amusing, so I thought I'd post it here to see what others think.
Disclaimer: With all the tapes, DVDs, and other paraphernalia I have of both Inuyasha and Pinky and the Brain, you'd think I owned them, but I don't.
"Gee, Naraku, what do you wanna do tonight?"
"The same thing we do every night, Bankotsu. Try to take over the world!!"
They're Banky and Naraku,
Yes, Banky and Naraku,
One's an evil demon, the other will just kill you
They come from undead men
Who walk the earth again
They're Banky,
They're Banky and Naraku----
Before the arc is done
Their plan will be unfurled
By the time Mt. Hakurei's gone
They'll take over the world!
They're Banky and Naraku
Yes, Banky and Naraku
Their evil campaign is easy to explain
To prove their evil worth
They'll overthrow the Earth
They're Banky,
They're Banky and Naraku--------
"All right, Bankotsu," Naraku said, sitting in the dark cave. "Tonight's plan requires a lot of strategy and a lot of help."
"Well, what about those funny people that are always following you everywhere?" Bankotsu asked, staring at a nearby rock.
"Those are my incarnations, Bankotsu. I've already given them jobs."
"Oh, well, there you are, then!"
"No, Bankotsu, there you are. I need you to take these six jewel shards and resurrect your band of mercenaries. With them, you will take out a certain group of people that have been bothering me for a very long time."
"Right-o, Naraku! Oh, wait, no, no. I don't have my Banryuu anymore."
"Then get it back," Naraku said with a frown. "With them gone, I'll be able to complete my plan to complete the sacred jewel and become the most powerful demon in the world! That's why I need you to get rid of them."
"It's too bad you can't just hide away somewhere and make yourself all powerful, instead," Bankotsu said with a laugh, now twirling the rock around in his hands.
Naraku's eyes suddenly widened. "That's it! Bankotsu, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
"Well, I think so Naraku, but what if their miniskirts really can't flip up?"
Naraku frowned. "No, Bankotsu. I'll get the idiot monk at Mt. Hakurei to put up a protective barrier around me so I can rid myself of my human heart while your group and my minions take care of my enemies. Then, I will finally be able to destroy Kikyou and take over the world!"
"But I thought we were supposed to destroy your enemies."
"You are," he replied, producing several drawings out of nowhere. "Now, the first one I want taken out is Kouga, the wolf demon. He has two jewel shards, and I want them brought back here. Brute strength is probably the best way to defeat him.
"Next is Sesshoumaru. His two lackeys are no danger, but he can be quite formidable."
"What is that huge group of people standing behind him?"
"Those are fangirls, Bankotsu. If you send that really weird guy from your group, they'll probably think he's cute, too, and won't interfere."
"Got'cha!"
"Finally, there's Inuyasha and his group. All of them can be quite powerful except for that little fox, so I want you to go all out on them. Get your sword back and fight Inuyasha yourself if you must. Yours is bigger."
"Oh, are any of them ninjas?! I love ninjas!"
"No, Bankotsu, there are no ninjas. Just do what I told you and I'll take care of the rest."
"All right!" he exclaimed as he walked out of the cave.
Naraku sat in the mountain, frowning. His part of the plan had gone fine, but from what few reports he had heard, outside no one had been killed yet other than a few of Bankotsu's fighters. This was definitely not what he had wanted. He was fairly certain that a few of Inuyasha's group members had come inside of the mountain to pursue him. Hopefully his new body would finish in time...
Just then, a very battered and bruised Bankotsu came running into the main part of the cavern. "What is it now, Bankotsu?" Naraku said angrily.
"Well, bad news, Naraku. Inuyasha's finished off the other six in the Shichinintai and he broke my sword! I did manage to make him think I was dead, though."
"You're telling me you weren't able to destroy any of them?!"
"No..."
Naraku sighed. "Fine. We may not have gotten any more jewel shards, but I do have this new body free of human attachments and I will be able to destroy Kikyou! Then we will return to my hideout and plan for tomorrow night."
"Why, Naraku? What are we gonna do tomorrow night?"
"The same thing we do every night, Bankotsu. Try to take over the world!"
"Narf!"
They're Banky,
They're Banky and Naraku----