A/N: I'm sorry for those of you who wanted this to be longer than four chapters (if anybody like that exists), but it had to come to an end, and I thought this was the best time for it. However, you can console yourselves by visiting some of my other stories. Shameless plug, I know, but I couldn't resist.

The Music Man vs. The Tone-Deaf Kid

The night of the final confrontation arrived. The Metropolitan Opera House was as opulent as ever, and the patrons found it even more so as they anticipated what they knew would be a glorious performance from Melody Dixon. The performance they would see would certainly be glorious, but for reasons they couldn't have guessed prior to the rise of the curtain.

The first act was greeted with thunderous applause. The audiences laughed heartily at Marcello, Colline and Schaunard, but were quite happy to see them leave because that meant one thing: the entrance of Mimi. She wasn't met with the same applause as Rodolfo and Marcella enjoyed. Instead, everyone was completely enthralled from the second she appeared. Melody's dulcet tones floated above their heads as she told Rodolfo about her embroidery. The audience thrilled with them as their hands touched, and they confessed their affection for each other.

They were making their way toward the stage door, but they didn't succeed. For out of the shadows came a man in an orange and yellow leisure suit. He had a large gun in his hands and a maniacal grin on his face. Before anyone could react, he pointed the gun at Melody and the leading man, pulling the trigger. Everyone screamed, but they saw that the two were unharmed, or at least they seemed that way. Melody fell to the floor, and grabbed her throat. She tried to scream again, but she couldn't make a sound. Neither could the tenor playing Rodolfo.

"I am The Tone-Deaf Kid," the leisure-suited gunman shouted to the crowd. "It is no use for you to attempt an escape. I have a minion at every door. I am here to destroy The Music Man once and for all. I know you're out there somewhere, you coward, and I will find you."

"There's no need to find me," yelled a voice from Box Five. "I accept your challenge, but I shall be the victor this day." The audience all turned around to see their rescuer. Cheers erupted all throughout the theater as he swung from the box on a large crimson cord. The Persian Bandit was right behind him.

The Music Man landed on the stage with a thud. The Persian Bandit, on the other hand, landed in the center aisle. He pulled out a large scimitar, and ran to the nearest guarded door, slashing away at his opponent, who carried a broadsword. The Music Man rose, and pulled out his violin. He began to play furiously, as the Tone-Deaf Kid fired away at him. Behind the Music Man, Melody jumped to her feet, and began to sing an aria from Mozart's The Magic Flute.

The Persian Bandit incapacitated his opponent by smacking him upside the head with his scimitar. The man fell to his knees, limp and unconscious. The Persian Bandit ran to his next opponent, and took him out in a similar fashion.

Meanwhile, on the stage, the Tone-Deaf Kid and The Music Man were fighting for ground. The Music Man was winning with Melody's help. The tenor joined in, as well. Soon the whole cast was onstage, and they were overpowering The Tone-Deaf Kid.

The Persian Bandit had taken out all of the guards on the first floor. He ran to the entrances of the first-tier boxes, his scimitar flashing in the light of the lamps in the hallways. The adrenal was pumping through him, and his next opponent didn't have a chance.

The Tone-Deaf Kid unexpectedly gained some stage by taking out the weakest singers with his ray-gun. The Music Man couldn't keep up with the rate at which his support was crumbling, and the violin, which was taking the brunt of The Tone-Deaf Kid's attacks, was beginning to fail. He and the cast began to fall back. The orchestra joined in, and the Tone-Deaf Kid had to change tactics. He had to divide his attention between the stage and the orchestra pit. He was now fighting on two fronts, and he was starting to fail.

The Persian Bandit had by this time incapacitated all of The Tone-Deaf Kid's minions, and he made his way to the backstage. The Music Man saw him do this out of the corner of his eye. The Persian Bandit wheeled out The Music Man's organ onto the stage, and The Music Man dashed toward it. He began to bang out The Phantom of the Opera, and sang with it. Melody sang Christine's part, and the whole company joined in on the second verse.

The Tone-Deaf Kid's ray-gun gave out on him, and he dropped it. He jumped off the stage, and ran down the center aisle, but he was followed by The Persian Bandit. He tackled the Tone-Deaf Kid, and held him to the ground. The Tone-Deaf Kid rolled over onto his stomach, hoping to crawl away. The Persian Bandit raised his scimitar and brought the hilt down onto the back of The Tone-Deaf Kid's head, and he stopped wriggling.

The Music Man ceased his pounding and rushed over to the unconscious enemy. He pulled out his lasso, and tied up the Tone-Deaf Kid, making sure the knots were very tight. Melody jumped off the stage and ran to The Music Man, who was standing there, watching her. She threw her arms around him, and he held her close.

The room bust into cheers and applause. Everyone was relieved that all was well once more, thanks to The Music Man, The Persian Bandit, and (though they had no idea of it) The Soprano.

From then on, The Music Man and his loyal sidekicks were there to protect the sanctity of music.

A/N: I think we all know what that third to the last paragraph was about (wink, wink).