Author's Notes: Sorry, I know it's been a while but real life has been crazy lately. Plus I intended the epilogue to only be a couple of scenes, but I had so many requests for a sequel that I decided to make it longer. I can't think of a plot for a sequel involving these characters. Therefore I made the epilogue longer, giving you a better picture of their life together. That's why it took so long to write. The moment I thought I was done, I would think of something else I wanted to add. So I hope you like it :D
Thanks for all the great reviews!
Epilogue
"Honey, wake up," I heard someone whisper in my ear, but I didn't want to move.
"Mike . . . Mike," the all too familiar voice repeated. I couldn't help but let a small smile creep up on my face.
"Faker," the voice accused, but I still refused to open my eyes.
"Fine sleeping beauty," the voice said before their soft lips came into contact with my own. When the lips finally pulled away, I slowly opened my eyes and smiled.
"We did it again," Amelia said as she pointed to the clock.
I looked up to see it was 8:30 in the morning. Shit! I should be at work by now!
I quickly jumped off the couch, careful not to knock Amelia onto the floor, as I looked for my sneakers.
"Want a cereal bar or something? I know you don't have time to wait for coffee," she offered.
"No thanks honey," I said as I stood up to give her a kiss goodbye, "Dinner tonight?"
She smiled and nodded before I gave her another quick peck and ran out the door of Amelia's townhouse.
This had become a really bad habit of ours. Everyday I would come to see Amelia after work. Sometimes we would go out, sometimes we would stay in, but the night always ended the same way. Amelia and I would snuggle up on the couch, both of us unwilling to call it a night and disrupt our time together. Eventually, we would fall asleep in each other's arms, only to wake up the next morning realizing I was late for work, again.
The commute from Meryton to Longbourn didn't help matters either. Luckily, my dad was more than understanding. If it was any other girl, I doubt he would be. But since I brought Amelia home, my father has been very supportive of our relationship. He always tells me I should bring Amelia over to the house.
I know my dad can be overbearing, and always manages to say the wrong things at the wrong times, but Amelia seems to have become accustomed to it. She told me once how lucky I was to get to spend so much time with my dad. Though my father could never replace hers, I think Amelia enjoys having a father figure around. Even if he's not perfect.
Okay, I'm not going to pretend that everything in our relationship has gone smoothly. I mean we're not Katie and John. We still have strong personalities, and falling in love doesn't change that. So we still fight, but not in the same way as we did before. For example, the time we drove to Greta Green to attend a friend's wedding. Amelia really wanted to drive and I wouldn't let her.
Okay, neither one of us may be law-abiding citizens when it comes to following the speed limit. But at least I'm not drinking coffee, and playing with the radio, when I'm driving 80 miles per hour. She calls it multitasking. I call it being scared shitless.
Amy thought I was making some kind of macho, male power play or something, by not allowing her to drive.
On the way there, I decided to take a short cut and ended up getting stuck in traffic. It could have happened to anyone! How I longed for the days when Amelia Darcy sat for hours without saying a word. Amy just couldn't stop herself from commenting on our current situation.
"You know why it took Columbus so long to find the new world?" she asked me.
I knew she was setting me up, but I also knew I wasn't going to be able to shut her up.
"Why?" I responded in annoyance.
"Because a man was behind the wheel," she replied with a smirk as she looked out the passenger side window.
I just turned up the radio and ignored her. Later, the traffic forced me to stay in my lane, and I accidently got off at the wrong exit. Again, Amelia just couldn't keep her pouty lips together.
"Do you know why Columbus thought he had arrived in India?" she asked.
"I don't want to know," I replied dryly.
"Because he didn't stop and ask for directions," she said with a smile.
I just glared at her and turned my attention back to the road. We didn't say another word for the rest of the drive. When we finally arrived, we got out the car and Amelia walked alongside me. She then playfully smacked me on the butt. I couldn't help but smile and grab her hand. I intertwined our fingers and pulled her close to kiss her forehead, while she wrapped her arm around my waist. I draped my arm over her shoulder and we both walked in with huge smiles on our faces.
So as you can see, we haven't changed that much.
In late February, Christine gave birth to a baby boy they name Dylan. Amelia said the poor boys were going to be teased relentlessly. Daniel and Dylan Darcy. She said it sounded like their names belonged in a nursery rhyme!
A few weeks later, Amelia and I went to visit them. Jeff and Christine were absolutely exhausted. They said the baby had kept them up most of the night, and when they finally went to sleep, Danny woke them up just a couple hours later. We felt so bad for them that we offered to take the boys for the day, so they could get some rest. Jeff and Christine were eternally grateful.
Now I don't know that much about babies, so I was a little apprehensive. But Amelia said she was an old pro, so not to worry. It was the first day of spring, so we decided to take Danny and Dylan to the park. After I pushed Danny on the swings, as Amy sat on a bench with Dylan, we decided to walk over to the duck pond. When we finally ran out of food, I walked over to the trash can to dump the bag. There was a man sitting on a bench near by and he commented I had a beautiful family.
I stood there for a second before I turned to look back towards the pond. Amelia was crouched down so Danny could be at eye level with Dylan. Danny was pointing out all the ducks to his baby brother, even though he was still too young to understand. Amy was just smiling as Danny animatedly talked to Dylan.
At that moment I knew. I knew without a doubt I wanted that. I wanted to have a family with Amelia. I wanted her to be my wife and I wanted us to build a life together. I thanked the man for his compliment, not bothering to correct him, and returned to Amy and the boys.
"I love you with all my heart. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?" I asked.
I suddenly heard laughter erupt from behind me. I turned to see Chris, Leo and Matt keeling over with laughter. I started muttering every four-letter word in the book.
"Whoa Mike! What's Amy going to say when she finds out you just proposed to Charlie!?" Chris said in between chuckles.
Before I had a chance to respond, John stood up, yanked all three of them into the room and locked the door.
"Shut up!" he told them. "Mike is going to propose to Amy, and the three of you are going to keep this information to yourselves."
Matt stopped laughing and looked up at me, "Really? You're really going to pop the question?"
I just grinned in response.
"But haven't you only been dating for like, what, three months or so?" Matt continued.
"So?" John said with a shrug, "They've known each other just as long as Katie and I have. We all met on the same day."
"And I could tell there was something between the two of them, ever since Mike sang to her on the 4th of July," Charlie added.
"I did not sing to her on the 4th of July," I said rolling my eyes.
"Like I said, I could see the sparks between the two of them, when Mike refused to tear his gaze away from her on the 4th of July," Charlie repeated.
"Well, there goes my plan of stealing Amy when she's on the rebound. I was so sure she was going to dump you," Chris commented. Surprisingly, this time it was Leo and Matt who both smacked him upside the head.
"Ow! Damn it! Can't you people take a joke!?" Chris hissed as he rubbed the back of his head.
"So, how are you going to propose?" Leo asked.
"We were just discussing that," Charlie replied.
"Then why didn't you ask us?" Leo wondered.
John pointed to the spot where Matt, Leo and Chris had just been laughing like hyenas and said, "Does that answer your question?"
"Hey! We can help. We were just taken off guard, that's all," Leo defended.
"Whatever. I don't care. As long as you don't tell anyone I'm planning to propose. I don't want someone to tell Amelia and ruin the surprised," I told them.
"So what are you planning to do?" Matt asked.
"I'm still not sure," I admitted.
"I read a story once where a guy proposed on the top of a Ferris wheel," Matt suggested.
"Oh! That's good! You can refuse to let her down until she says yes," Chris interrupted.
I sighed in exasperation, "I don't need to coerce her into marrying me!"
"Oh, really. Are you sure? Because you're not the easiest person in the world to live with," Chris replied.
"Why don't you ask Katie for some ideas?" Matt said, ignoring Chris' comment.
"I did. She said Amy wanted it to be a surprise. And she didn't want to be dressed in jeans or sweats when it happened," I informed them.
"Well that rules out proposing on a scoreboard at a baseball game," Leo remarked.
"You can jump out of one of those big, fake, cake things," Chris suggested.
"I'm proposing to Amelia. I'm not planning a bachelor or bachelorette party, you moron," I replied.
"Uwe! A bachelor party!" Chris and Leo hollered in unison.
"We'll be in charge of that," Chris said as he pointed to Leo and himself.
"There won't be a bachelor party, if I don't think of a way to propose to Amy!" I said in frustration.
"Doesn't matter. We'll throw one for you anyway," Leo piped in.
"How do you figure that?" Charlie asked with a frown.
"Please don't ask them to explain their logic," I pleaded with him.
"Well, you see, Mike will need a bachelor party either way. Either Amy says yes and we'll be celebrating his last days as a free man. Or she says no, in which case we will be celebrating the fact that Mike will remain a bachelor for the rest of his life," Leo explained.
"Yeah, Amy is the only woman willing to put up with Mike. So if she turns him down, he has absolutely no hope of ever finding anyone else," Chris finished as everyone laughed.
"Shut up!" I yelled as I threw a magazine from the break room's coffee table at him.
"See! What'd I tell you! No one wants to put up with that for the rest of their lives!" Chris retorted.
"Why don't you sing to her? She loves to hear you sing," Leo suggested out of the blue, quieting everyone's laughter.
I stood there for a second before I walked over and hugged him. I think this was the first and only smart thing to ever come out of Leo's mouth.
I had always planned to propose to Amy in private but I soon realized it wasn't going to happen. First and foremost, I couldn't think of a way to propose without getting her suspicious. Second, now that my brothers, Katie and Charlie knew what I was planning, they all wanted to be there. They all begged me to let them be present when I proposed because they wanted to celebrate with us afterwards.
After much planning, we finally decided that Katie would host a party, claiming to be wedding related, and I would propose there. Then after I proposed, we would reveal that it was really an engagement party. I was glad that Katie offered to do this for us. I thought proposing to Amelia at Katie's house was fitting, considering that is where we first became a couple on New Year's.
Katie was absolutely thrilled when I first asked her for help in picking out Amelia's ring. She instantly started going on, and on, about how now they were officially going to be sisters. And they were even going to share the same last name. She shrieked when she realized they both were going to be Mrs. Bennet, and then erupted in a fit of giggles. I just smiled and nodded. You can't be mad at Katie, even when she gets all excited and girly like that. She even went so far as to suggest a double wedding. That is when John had to step in and calmer her down. If he hadn't, she would have proceeded to go on and name our future children.
I thought planning the party would be too much for Katie to handle, sense she was already planning her wedding. Katie said it wasn't a problem. Amelia had planned Katie's engagement party while she was in the process of merging two companies. So Katie was sure she could handle it. She said that was what best friends were for, and she wanted to return the favor since Amy did such a beautiful job on her party.
Matt agreed to have his band perform that night. I also saw it as fitting, considering the first time we danced together was to Matt's band. I started to get really nervous as the date of the party approached. Too many people knew what was really going on, and I was afraid one of them would slip up and tell Amy. Katie and my brothers loved the fact that they were in on the secret. They kept winking at me, or giving me these dumb looks, whenever Amy was around. I was so sure they were going to blow it for me.
Finally, the day of the party arrived and I walked Amelia up to Katie's front door.
"Why is Katie throwing this party again?" I asked, trying to act nonchalant about it.
"I told you she said it was a thank you for putting up with her for the last few months, and all the wedding craziness," Amy replied.
"Wouldn't throwing another party only make her even more crazy?" I asked, trying to make her think I didn't want to be there.
"Well, that's Katie for you I guess," she replied as she opened the door.
We had been there for twenty minutes and everything was going as planned. Right on cue, Matt came up to me and asked if I could fill-in for him. Amy smiled as I went over to the band, but was surprised when I took the position of lead singer.
"Hello everyone, this next song is especially for Amelia," I said into the microphone.
I slowly started playing Matt's guitar before I sang:
There now, steady love,
so few come and don't go
Will you won't you,
be the one I always know
When I'm losing my control,
the city spins around
You're the only one
who knows, you slow it down
Oh, oh, oh, oh, Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, Be my baby
I'll look after you
And I'll look after you
If ever there was a doubt
My love, she leans into me
This most assuredly counts
She says most assuredly
Oh, oh, oh, oh, Be my baby
I'll look after you
After you
Oh, oh, oh, oh, Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh, oh
It's always have and never hold
You've begun to feel like home
Yeah
What's mine is yours to leave or take
What's mine is yours to make you own
Oh, oh, oh, oh, Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh, oh
I slowly started to approach Amelia as I sang the last few lines of the song. When I finished I was standing in front of her and everyone was quiet. I quickly handed John the guitar before I got down on one knee. I heard some people gasp in excitement, but all I could do is stare into Amelia's eyes. They were already glazed over with unshed tears, as she raised her right hand to her lips. I could see her bottom lip was quivering.
"Amelia Darcy, I love you with all my heart. Will you marry me?" I asked.
At first all she could do was nod, but then she dropped her hand from her mouth and smiled that big, beautiful smile of hers as she said, "Yes . . . yes!"
My face lit up as I quickly pulled the ring out of my pocket and placed it on her finger. I stood up and she threw her arms around my neck. The people around us started screaming and cheering as I lifted her off the ground and kissed her.
Our kiss didn't last for very long because we were quickly surrounded by our families, embracing us and offering their congratulations.
We decided to get married in Pemberley at the end of May. I know some people might say it was too soon. Why rush? But we just wanted to be together. We didn't feel the need for some huge, extravagant, over-the-top wedding, though my father thought otherwise.
Katie was disappointed that we turned down her offer of having a double wedding. Yet, she couldn't help but joke that Amelia and I were so competitive, that we just had to get married a few weeks before she did.
We decided to get married in the Darcy's backyard. Not only was the Darcy home the site of our first kiss, and where I fell in love with Amelia, it was also covered in cherry trees. During the spring months the cherry trees become completely covered in pink blossoms. It's a beautiful sight that must be seen to believe. So we decided to get married under the Darcy's rose covered gazebo, underneath all the blooming cherry trees.
Hundreds of pink blossoms had fallen from the trees, covering the ground like a blanket, as Jeff walked Amelia down the isle. Before the wedding, Jeff, his buddies and I all had a little chat. Apparently Mrs. Darcy was right when she said Jeff's friends saw Amelia as their little sister too.
To make a long story short, Amelia will be treated like a princess because I want to keep all my body parts. After all kidding and warnings were put aside, Jeff told me he believed I would take excellent care of his baby sister. He could see that I made her happy. I smiled, shook his hand and promised I would continue to do my best to keep Amelia happy.
I planned a little surprise for the end of the ceremony. When we were pronounced husband and wife, I had them play Brown Eyed Girl instead of the traditional wedding march. Amelia, who had already shed a few tears, couldn't stop them from flowing. They were tears of happiness. She was so touched that I remember her dad on our wedding day. It was like her dad was with us, blessing our new life together.
We postponed our honeymoon for a couple of weeks because of John and Katie's wedding. We decided to backpack through Europe. Several times throughout our trip, the differences between the two of us were quite apparent.
There were times when I just wanted to strangle her for dragging me to a musical in London, not to mention the ballet, the symphony and the opera in Rome. "When in Rome . . ." she said to me. Honestly, there were times I would have rather poked my eyes out instead of listening to that crap. But this is the woman I married. This is the woman I love. And I plan on paying her back by dragging her to wrestle mania, and the monster truck rally, the next time they're in town.
Oh yes, I know marriage is a compromise, and I plan to take full advantage of that fact.
After we spent six weeks traveling through Europe we then headed to Africa. We spent the last two weeks of our trip in the little African village that Amy had volunteered at. I was amazed at all the people who remembered her. It was like she had originally told me, she was visiting old friends. They all embraced me when she told them we were married. It was like I was instantly part of their family. They even hosted a big dinner to celebrate our marriage.
When we got back home, I have to admit, married life was an adjustment.
"Give it to me," Amy demanded.
"No," I replied.
"I said give it to me," she repeated.
"No!" I said sternly.
"Now!" she demanded.
"Forget about it!" I told her.
"You're such a damn dictator! Who gave you the right to have total control over the remote!?" she bellowed.
"Do you not remember love, honor and obey?" I said mockingly.
"You obviously weren't paying attention, cause I told the minister to leave the obey part out," Amy said with a smirk.
"What happened to you hardly ever watching television?" I questioned.
"That's even more of a reason why I should get to see what I want. You watch TV every night," Amy retorted.
"There is no way in hell that I'm going to watch Masterpiece Theater," I proclaimed.
"You've never even seen it before," she protested.
"So," I said dryly.
"Why don't you give something new a chance?" Amy continued.
"Don't want to," I said flatly.
"You gave me a chance," Amy pointed out.
"Yeah, and I'm regretting that at the moment," I replied.
"Oh really? Do you regret this?" she said as she leaned over and kissed me. Just when I started to deepen the kiss she pulled away and then, whomp. She hit me in the face with a throw pillow as she took the remote control out of my hand.
"You sneaky little . . . ugh! Give me that!" I said in annoyance.
"No!" Amy said as she changed the channel. The screen flashed the words Pride and Prejudice.
"Pride and Prejudice! What's this about? The civil war or something? Go get your Gone With The Wind DVD, put it in your laptop and give me the remote," I replied.
"No!" she said putting an end to our fight.
I had never lived with a woman before, well except for my mom, but that was different. So imagine my surprise when I stepped into the shower and found five different shampoo bottles. Why in the hell does she need so many? I absentmindedly grabbed one of the bottles, squeezed the contents into my hand, and worked it into my hair. When I got out of the shower, I noticed my hands had turned brown. What the . . .
"Amelia!" I yelled.
She came running into the bathroom and asked, "What happened? What's wrong?"
"Look," I said as I showed her my hands. She frowned for a second and then turned to look in the shower. She then looked back at me and started laughing.
"Didn't you even look at the bottle?" she asked through her laughter.
"Why should I look at the bottle? Shampoo is shampoo," I said.
"You didn't use shampoo. You used hair glaze!" she said as she busted up in another fit of laughter.
"Hair glaze! What the hell is hair glaze!?" I asked as my anger started to rise the more she laughed.
"Let's put it this way. Everyone will know you're a Brilliant Brunette!" she said as she continued laughing.
Dumb girls and their dumb, stupid, beauty products! Needless to say, I bought my own shampoo from then on.
After a couple of months, we got used to living together and each other's idiosyncracies. I got used to Amelia blasting rock music, the moment the alarm went off, because it was the only way to keep herself from falling asleep again. In return, Amy realized I was always going to put the milk back in the refrigerator, even if there was only a drop left.
One day we went to visit Amy's mom and we happened to notice a for sale sign on the way there. It was an old farm house on a large piece of land. It needed a lot of work, but we instantly fell in love with it. So Amy and I moved to Pemberley.
Before we moved into the house we actually stayed with Amy's mom for a few nights, while we had the floors refinished. We were up late one night, raiding the fridge.
"Honey will you cut me a piece of cake?" Amy asked.
"Sure sweetheart," I answered as I grabbed a knife. "Hey, wait a second. You've never asked me to cut you a piece of anything before," I stated.
"So? Is that too much to ask?" she said plainly.
"No. But that's not why I brought it up. This is the cake your mom made for tomorrow night, isn't it? You're trying to set me up, aren't you?" I accused.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Amy replied, trying to act all innocent.
"When your mom wakes up tomorrow and accuses you of ruining her dessert, your going to tell her I did it, aren't you?" I asked
"I can't believe you think so little of me," she said pretending to be hurt.
"Yeah, right. I love you, and I know how your mind works. And right now, you're trying to set me up to take the fall with your mom," I told her.
"Even if my mom did get mad at you, which I doubt she will, isn't that your job. Somewhere in our marriage vows, didn't it say something about you protecting me or something along those lines. Well, by cutting the cake, you'll be protecting me from my mother's wrath," she reasoned.
"I don't think so, but nice try. I don't want to get your mom mad at me," I replied.
"When has my mom ever gotten made at you? You have her wrapped around your little finger. She even seems to love you more than she loves me," Amy proclaimed.
"Yeah, because I don't ruin her desserts," I said simply.
"Fine then, I'll do it," Amy said grabbing the knife, "Do you want some?"
"Sure, why not? It's not like I'm the one who's going to get yelled at," I said with a smirk.
"Right," she said before she smashed some cake on my face and started laughing.
I grabbed her wrist to prevent her from continuing to smear it all over my face.
"I always knew you were a brat from the moment I met you," I said as I pulled her to me for a kiss. I was sure to rub my cheeks all over her face when I was done. Now we were both laughing, with our faces covered in cake and whipped cream.
"What a pretty picture you two make. You know Michael, when I gave her to you, I thought I was getting rid of one troublemaker. But now it seems I have two on my hands," Mrs. Darcy said walking into the kitchen.
"Hi mom, you know she started it. She always does," I replied.
"Yes, I know," she said with a sigh.
I always find it entertaining watching Amy and her mother interact. Since I don't have any sisters, I can't help but wonder if all mothers and daughters act the way they do.
Amelia and I were in the kitchen as Mrs. Darcy was putting away the dishes. Mrs. Darcy opened a cabinet and then proceed to stare at it in disbelief. Her eyes went wide and her mouth was hanging open in confusion. Suddenly realization must have dawned on her because she turned to look at Amy, who conveniently looking the other way. Amy was sitting on the counter with her legs crossed, looking at a blank wall as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.
Mrs. Darcy said, "Amelia."
"Hmm," she replied as she turned to look at her mother with a straight face. Though I could see amusement in her eyes.
"Where'd you put it?" Mrs. Darcy asked.
"Where'd I put what?" Amelia asked innocently.
"You know what," Mrs. Darcy told her.
"I really have no idea what you're talking about," Amelia replied still trying to keep a straight face.
"The chocolate. Where'd you hide the chocolate?" Mrs. Darcy asked again.
"What chocolate?" Amy asked wrinkling her nose.
"The chocolate I had in here," Mrs. Darcy said, motioning with her head toward the cabinet.
"And why would you keep chocolate in there?" Amy inquired.
"Because my troublesome daughter likes to pull stunts like this," she replied.
"You mean you were trying to hide the chocolate from me," Amy said, pretending to be offended.
"Yes," Mrs. Darcy answered dryly.
"Well you know what they say mom, the mind is the first to go. You probably just forgot where you put it," Amy said with a shrug.
"Amelia! I know you took it! Now where is it?" Mrs. Darcy said losing her patience.
"I'll give you a hint. It's somewhere in this room," Amy said as she moved her index finger in a circular motion.
Mrs. Darcy groaned in frustration while Amy jumped off the counter and stood behind me. She wrapped her arms around my waist and hid her chin behind my shoulder.
Mrs. Darcy was about to say something when we heard a big bang. We turned to see Psycho sitting on his butt, shaking his head. He had run full speed into the glass door, again. All three of us let out a chuckle before I suggested, "Babe, maybe you should take him to obedient school or something."
Amelia just shook her head and replied, "Hun, you can't cure stupid."
"Maybe he needs glasses," I wondered as Amelia walked over to him.
She rubbed his head before picking him up, "I know what the problem is," she told us before she lifted Psycho higher so she could look into his eyes.
"Psycho," she said sternly, "Crack is wack. Just say no!" before she cradled him in her arms again.
I just had to laugh. That dog was crazy. We had come home one night to find he had dragged all my dirty laundry downstair. He was laying on the couch, trying his best to rip my underwear to shreds. Amy was no help. She thought the whole thing was hilarious.
After we moved into our new house, we received the shock of our lives when we found out Amy was pregnant. Okay, well it wasn't that big of a shock, but honestly we hadn't planned to start a family this early. So it was a surprise. My father was completely elated. He finally was going to be a grandfather. I think most men wouldn't get so excited when being referred to as grandpa. But not my dad. He kept bragging to his buddies that his first grandchild was finally on its way.
I suddenly became his favorite son. He would put his arm around me, and tell me that I couldn't have chosen a better wife. He said how happy he was for me and Amy, and the life and family we were creating together. I had never seen my dad so sentimental before. He started doting on Amy every time we went to visit. He would tell her to sit and put her feet up, because he didn't want the little mommy-to-be to over exert herself. My mom was shocked and told me she wished he had treated her that way every time she was pregnant.
Amy and I decided to wait to find out whether the baby was a boy or a girl.
"What about Jane?" she asked.
"Jane Bennet. That could work," I said with a shrug, "How about Jason?"
"No, definitely not," she said with a shake of her head.
"Why?" I asked.
"It reminds me of Friday the Thirteenth," she replied.
"Well I guess Freddy's out," I said with a smirk.
"Yup," she replied with a nod.
"Wait a second, does that mean you associate me with Michael Meyers?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Definitely. Why do you think I hid the butcher knives on Halloween?" she said with a laugh as I threw a pillow at her.
"Hey!" she protested, but I just ignored her and continued.
"How about Ryan?" I suggested.
"Why are you so convinced we're going to have a boy? There's a 50/50 chance it's a girl you know," she told me.
"More like one in nine," I remarked.
"How do you figure?" Amy asked in confusion.
"Well, I'm one of five boys. Then the odds change in your family, because your mom had one boy and one girl. But then the odds switch back because Jeff had two boys," I explained.
"Did you even take human biology or statistics? Or are you just pulling all this out of thin air? Because I don't think genetics works that way," she told me.
"Just wait and see. We're having a boy," I said as a matter of fact, "Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if we ended up with five boys."
"We could easily end up with five girls," Amy remarked.
"Five Bennet girls. I shudder at the thought," I said as I shook my head.
"Why? You'll only love our children if they turn out to be boys?" Amy asked in disbelief.
"No. I'm just imagining how hard it would be to keep all the boys away from our daughters. I'd probably have to send them away to some convent," I said in all seriousness.
Amy just sighed and shook her head.
"How about William?" I asked.
"William Darcy Bennet. Hmmm . . . how about Fitzwilliam?" she asked as her face lit up.
"What!?" I exclaimed.
"Fitzwilliam. It's my mom's maiden name . . . what? Why are you looking at me like that? Fitzwilliam is cool," Amy declared.
"This coming from the woman who named her dog Psycho and her cat Ferrari. Really Augusta, you should know better than to stick your kids with names like that," I said shaking my head.
"Fine Finnaeus," she retorted.
Remember how I said I wanted a wife who would surprise me. Someone who would always keep me guessing to what she might come up with next? Well I definitely got my wish. Especially during the last few months of Amelia's pregnancy. I can not tell you my level of surprise every time I found her eating one of her many concoctions. Every thing from bemused laughter to shock and horror, to plain disgust. I think her infamous creation was the tuna fish and strawberry jam sandwich. She looked at me like it was the most natural combination in the world.
"What? You put cranberry sauce on your turkey. It's the same thing," she said like I was just some big idiot.
I was about to make a wise crack, which she could tell from the smirk on my face, as she continued, "Before you make another one of your smart aleck remarks, I'd like to remind you that I'm pregnant with your baby. You did this to me. And because of you I am as big as a house right now. So if you piss me off, I'll just sit on you!"
"Okay, okay, fine," I said as I put my hands up in surrender. I knew I shouldn't be pissing off a pregnant lady, but I have to admit it was fun. Come on now! I know Amelia and if the tables were turned, I knew she would be giving me a hard time. And believe me, I got my punishment in the delivery room. I knew Amelia was in a lot of pain, but I was in a lot of pain having to put up with her.
"Ow, ow, ow, this really hurts!" she told me as another contraction hit.
"Okay, okay, just breathe," I said in a calm voice.
"Breathe, breathe! I would be dead if I wasn't breathing you idiot!" she yelled as she grabbed her stomach, turned to her side and groaned.
"Okay, calm down," I said softly.
"Calm down, calm down! You whined like a baby when you got a splinter in your finger, and I tried to get it out. And now you're trying to tell me to calm down! I'm having a baby here! That's a whole lot worse than your stupid splinter!" she yelled.
"Well, I don't know. That was a pretty big splinter," I remarked, "Ow!" I yelled as Amy smacked me on the shoulder.
"You're choosing now to be a comedian!? Don't!" she screamed.
"I'm just trying to get your mind off the pain," I said putting my hands up in surrender.
"Well, in that case, YOU SUCK!" she screamed as she grabbed her stomach again.
Shortly after we welcomed our son into the world. His grandparents, five uncles and two aunts were all in the waiting room waiting to meet him.
In the end, we decided we wanted our son's name to mean something to us. Amy wanted to name him after her dad, who coincidently shared his name with her brother. I wanted to name our son after my best friend and brother, John. We both decided we didn't want our son to be John Bennet III. So Amelia and I named him Jeffery John Bennet, giving him the names of both his uncles and grandfathers.
Jeff calls him JJ as payback for Amy making fun of Daniel and Dylan Darcy.
Our little Jeffery got a new cousin a year later, when Katie gave birth to a boy they named Benjamin. Yes, another boy and yes, I know what you're thinking.
Ben Bennet.
Hey, don't look at me. I didn't name him!
Our little Jeff loves playing with Danny, Dylan and Ben. When I see all of them together, I can't help but remember my childhood, and my relationship with my brothers. The four of them got an addition to their little group when Amelia gave birth to Elizabeth Bennet. The boys absolutely fell in love with our little Lizzie.
Actually it wasn't just them. Lizzie was the first girl to be born in both of our families. She has Amelia's long eyelashes, curly hair and pouty lips. Lizzie has my eyes though. Our moms say she has a perfect mixture of both of our personalities. Lizzie is adventurous and fearless like Amy was at her age. She also has Amy's love for books. Lizzie can also be quite stubborn and willful, just like me.
My dad is proud of his grandsons but he is completely in awe of his granddaughter. Lizzie has all the Bennet and Darcy men wrapped around her little finger. She's smart too. Lizzie's learned that all it takes is a kiss on the cheek, or a pout on her small lips, and the men in our family will be putty in her hands. This is what really has me worried. If she's like this as a toddler, imagine how she will be as a teenager. All teenage boys better steer clear of me.
The End
There it is. The end of my first attempt at writing anything in my life. So what did you guys think?
Slade and King. Look After You. The Fray, How To Save A Life, Epic Records, 2005.